People are getting ruder

[grimley1968]

Yes, people are getting more stressed and it is trying times. Life is harder now and perhaps it is just getting to everyone from the people at WDW to just everyday life. Prices are high for food, gas, housing. Most families have two adults working to live. Those with SAHM have had to cut back hard and budget.

Disagreed. Compare our plight to those of our parents, grandparents, etc. who had to deal with a) the Great Depression, b) unbelievably bad weather for about a 20-year period that makes our weather look tame by comparison and c) the Holocaust, d) unbelievably repressive, murderous regimes under Stalin and Mao, e) two separate World Wars, f) persistent racism throughout America.

Times may be tougher now than they were maybe a decade ago, but nothing like the times listed above.

Yet, the times listed above are often referred to as the "good old days" by those who lived through them. Why is that? For one thing, we tend to remember only the good things, and try to forget the bad. It's human nature. However, people do seem to have been more polite in those days. I notice this from talking to people I know from this era who just seem more polite than people born after 1950 or so. Also, if you look at any kind of media (film, magazines, newspapers, etc.) from those days, there's definitely a sense of politeness that pervades much of it. It does not now in today's media.

 

[AuntBot]

Walk on the left, stand on the right is pretty standard fare just about everywhere there are escalators. Wildeoscar beat me to the analogy. It's just like having a passing lane on the left for faster folks. I've been in NYC for 20 years, but I knew that before I moved here. I would never, ever knock anyone down, but I'll very respectfully say "excuse me" and look for some cooperation.


Aunt Bot DN (9) DN (8) DN (4)

 

[tony609]

I bet WE HAVE ALL done something that by someone elses standards or morals would be considered rude or bad behavior.

Yes it is polite to give your seat on the bus to small children,women with children etc etc....
.

 

[msmouse]

you know, i would be horrified if my son (now 28) had not offered his seat to a lady even when he was a teenager. a smack to the back of his head would have been in line, but thankfully he never disappointed me. i am a very proud mom!

 

[queenofhartz]

I think I have just been fortunate to be around very polite guests during my previous trips to Disneyworld. But, this trip, I did notice that people seemed to be acting a bit selfish, and I was a little disappointed. DH noticed it too. I am very quiet, and I'm a peacekeeper, but I had 3 people jump in front of me in lines on this trip. One was at Pizzafari, two people jumped in front of us at Germany in Epcot, and one jumped in front of me in line at the World of Disney (no one jumped in front of us in lines for attractions).

We let it go and just left the places at World of Disney and at Pizzafari (no big deal, it was crowded and we figured people were just in a rush to get on with their vacations and not paying attention) But, in Germany, my DH said something to the people that jumped in front of us b/c we had been waiting patiently for over 15 minutes. (The CM was assisting a customer that was there before us) Then, another family just walked up in front of us and started asking to see dolls behind the counter (which is what we were waiting for). DH said to the people and the CM, "Excuse me, but we were waiting first, and we would like to see the Steiff Minnie Mouse doll please." I tugged on his shirt and told him not to worry about it and that I didn't mind waiting. The CM seemed rather aggrevated by my DH and told us we needed to wait because she was already helping the family that jumped in front of us. I think this was the straw that broke the camel's back. If she had said something like, "I'm sorry that happened. I'll be with you in just a sec." Or, "let me get the Minnie doll for you to look at, and I'll be right back with you," it would have been okie dokie. DH is in customer service and he excels at his job, so admittedly, his idea about good customer service is set at his own very high standards. So, DH did not appreciate the fact that she seemed really annoyed. I explained to DH that the CMs have to deal all of the time with people that think their vacations are more important than anyone else's and people that are in a rush, and he shouldn't be annoyed with her. But, he was. So, DH and I just left. I guess we didn't really want the doll that badly, but DH was kind of disappointed because he was planning on buying it for me as a surprise (instead he got me a charm for my charm bracelet which I love )

So, here's my question....

when stuff like this happens, what is the best way to handle it? Say something to the people that broke in line, or just keep your mouth shut?

I'm of the opinion that when you go to Disneyworld, you have to know that there are crowds and expect that this kind of thing may happen and just go on happliy with your trip without causing any tension. DH doesn't agree with me. He thinks that if you are clearly waiting in a line and someone knowingly jumps in front of you, you should say something to them nicely about it.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Originally Posted by Johnacon View Post
Whether or not you believe in the rule is of little consequence. Not standing on the left side of the escalator is a social norm, especially in places such as DC and New York. When you go against the vast majority of society and something bad happens, who do you really have to blame?

When someone shoves a 5 year old kid down because she's standing on the left side of the escalator, that someone is at fault regardless of if the kid violated some social norm. I'd call it very rude but it is well beyond just rude.

 

[goofyernmost]

They can't take the extra 10 seconds to stand on an escalator?? Well, I suppose they, and this is just a thought, could perhaps leave their house 10 seconds earlier so they don't endanger other's, especially children, as it appears it must be the only thing slowing them down on the way to work.

That is one of the most common misconceptions on the planet. People feel that running up or down escalators will save them massive amounts of time when in reality I doubt it is even 10 seconds. As a bus driver that point is driven home very strongly. You would be amazed at how far one can go in just 30 seconds. Unless, you are doing something time-point related you really never get to grasp that. So they put others at risk justifying it by thinking that they just saved enough time to make a difference but they don't.

I have a question about the "offering your seat on the bus" thing. I am a 24 years old woman, and sometimes I am sitting and there are older gentleman standing... I've offered my seat once, but I got a very stern look from the gentleman... Do you think it's "insulting" when you are an older gentleman to be offered a seat by a young woman ?

Simply put, yes it very will might offend him. The reason? Men are conditioned to be the strong one. Unless they are actually falling down the idea that age has put them into another light is very disturbing to most men. They already have had to accept many other truths, like Jennifer Aniston will probably not get turned on by his body in its present state, so the idea that someone thinks that he might even have trouble standing is more than the feeble male brain can capture. Unless he is in obvious pain and unstable it is better not to offer your seat to him.

Just today I was walking in to the post office and in front of me was a man probably in his 30's. I had ahold of my 2 year old's hand and in the other hand I was carrying a box. He didn't hold the door open for me, even though he could have. He wanted to make sure he got in line before me apparently. I think it's all in how you are raised and what you are taught to do.

And it is now more cultural. For a long time men knew what was expected of them. Hold door, light cigarettes, offer to carry objects and so on. With the advent of the independent woman (before you shoot me, that is a good thing) it was all simple. The messages sent out by women today are very, very mixed. It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't type of thing. Some women think it is great for you to hold a door open, others, not so much. As silly as it may seem rather than give the impression that they think women are helpless the opt not to do all those chivalry things.

I bet WE HAVE ALL done something that by someone elses standards or morals would be considered rude or bad behavior.

How true that is!

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

This discussion make me think about my own experiences. I commute to work each day by train and every so often during rush hour people are standing. When I board I often get a seat, but as the train leaves the city, the seats often get filled and people are left standing. I guess I'm old-fashioned, though I'm not old by any means, but anytime I see a woman standing or someone with small children, I get up and offer them my seat (usually they accept and always with a smile and a 'thank you'). Though it's not rude, I find it hard to accept that some able-bodied guy can't get up and at least offer his seat to someone (older woman/small child---especially when they are having problems standing). I guess that's how I was raised and I teach my boys to do the same thing....Thanks for listening, I feel better now...

I agree with what you're saying. When someone Prego or holding a baby or small child gets on and it's SRO, it doesn't matter how she got into that situation. It doesn't matter that she should have waited for another bus. She's there, the bus is taking off, people are crowding in behind her and she's there and needs a seat. If you're able bodied, you get up. And yes, I realize that it isn't possible to know whether a single person is able bodied or not. But on a full bus where nobody is getting up to get this woman and baby into a safer situation, I can beyond any reasonable doubt be sure that there was at least 1 able bodied person that did not get up.

 

[pta-mom]

I really think a lot of this stuff is cultural, even within our own countries...obviously someone living in a city might be more in the "know" about bus edicate or escalator edicate than someone raised in the country.

And frankly, I don't usually see a huge difference in manners from kids today vs kids of yesteryear. Perhaps some of what we thought of as manners might not be the same today....let's remember that there was a time we did not teach our children to not talk to strangers....it would have been RUDE to not talk back to an adult that was speaking to you!! And I remember being a teenager & hearing this same debate about my generation's manners vs my parents or grandparents generation...& I'm sure my grandkids will hear it one day too!!

Some people hold doors, give up seats, patiently wait their turn, help others, chew with their mouth close, say "please" & "thank you" or "sir" & "ma'am"....& some don't....not all of it, not all the time....but most people when asked would say that THEY HAVE MANNERS!!!

You know, I like to think that I'm someone who is not rude to others; I would like to think that my sons are being taught excellent values & morals & applying that through kind acts to others but I am sure, if you spend enough time with my family, you will discover something about us that in your opinion would be considered rude, as I too would about you & your family!! You see, we all have differing opinions about that at times.

I am so looking forward to my up-coming DW trip! I am sure I will run into one or two rude people while there....& if it is me that you run into, I am sorry...I just didn't know, wasn't thinking, totally forgot or was pre-occupied. I do hope that it didn't ruin your day!!

 

[nicolbw]

And it is now more cultural. For a long time men knew what was expected of them. Hold door, light cigarettes, offer to carry objects and so on. With the advent of the independent woman (before you shoot me, that is a good thing) it was all simple. The messages sent out by women today are very, very mixed. It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't type of thing. Some women think it is great for you to hold a door open, others, not so much. As silly as it may seem rather than give the impression that they think women are helpless the opt not to do all those chivalry things.

I understand how in general women give mixed messages. There are those that would have been offended if the door wasn't held and those that would have been offended if the door was held. I don't think it's a man/woman issue though. I looked at it as there was a person in front of me that could have simply helped me out by holding open the door. I would have done so for someone behind me if I was able to. I see it as being polite. It's along the same lines as saying thank you and excuse me. It's just something that everyone should do, not just men to do for women.

 

[BamaFan121s]

Not standing on the left side of the escalator is a social norm, especially in places such as DC and New York. When you go against the vast majority of society and something bad happens, who do you really have to blame?

It's the 'social norm' depeding on where you live. I'm sure it IS common in big cities, where there are subways and such. But how many cities are like that compared to the rest of the country? In all my time, I swear, I have NEVER heard of that ...and I have been on many escalators in my time. In places such as Birmingham and Atlanta, we call that rude and impatient. I'm sure the vast majority wants to get off the escalator safe and sound...I'll stick with them.

 

[JeanfromBNA]

I think that we've hit on one of the main differences - those who are accustomed to crowds and public transportation, and those who are not.

I wondered if the people described in the original post who jumped up to get off the bus in front of the OP had much experience with public transport. I know many people who have never been on a city bus, looked at a train schedule, or hailed a cab. They have no idea how it's done. When my country-boy DH first rode the train in Chicago, he sat nervously by the doors, and jumped up two stops ahead. Now he waits for his stop to be called. Sometimes he even naps (Not me, but that's probably why HE gets to nap).

 

[JeanfromBNA]

Do you know what I expect from my Disney Vacation? The Best Time I can have with my choices, my actions and my time. Your vacation ending up good or disappointing really ends up to how you decide to make the most of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know if you meant it this way, but your post illustrates the prevailing attitude that makes interaction unpleasant: "It's all about me . . . . . . !!!"

If you think about others, it's usually rewarding.

 

[PudgetteD]

The issue is the people who are sitting the entire ride when it was time to exit the bus jumped in front of me so they can get off before me.

We had a bus driver (2004 MK to POP) that made an annoucement to allow all standing guests exit before sitting guests, not that it helped.

 

[rosiep]

I bet WE HAVE ALL done something that by someone elses standards or morals would be considered rude or bad behavior.

.

Of all the posts I liked this one best because it's the truth. Hopefully we're all doing the best we can....but in the end someone is going to be affected by our innocent actions (or our not so innocent actions) and think us RUDE!
Are there common courtesies? Yes, but they're not laws by any means and people are free to disregard them, forget them, ignore them or be ignorant of them....it's not a crime.
Reacting to bad manners with bad manners solves nothing. For myself, I'm concerned by my own actions and those of the children I raised. I have taught them to act with respect and kindness....we do our best to uphold that...when someone responds unkindly to us, it may startle me for a moment..but I try with all my might not to contribute to negativity.

This board best serves me when I read about a situation where I would have done the opposite and I try to understand the other point of view...a little food for thought...nothing more, nothing personal.

 

[wilde_oscar]

When someone shoves a 5 year old kid down because she's standing on the left side of the escalator, that someone is at fault regardless of if the kid violated some social norm. I'd call it very rude but it is well beyond just rude.

wow lady... did you take a high dive into a shallow pool. At what point would anyone advocate knocking down little kids?

 

[JPN4265]

I don't want to defend people who are intentionally being rude, but in the case where the bus makes several stops(not the case at POP), could it be that the people who are sitting are not sure if the standees are getting off at the same place they are. I know in some cases anxiety sets in and people don't want to miss there stop.

Good point. I was thinking the same thing, but you said it very well.

 

[goofyernmost]

I understand how in general women give mixed messages. There are those that would have been offended if the door wasn't held and those that would have been offended if the door was held. I don't think it's a man/woman issue though. I looked at it as there was a person in front of me that could have simply helped me out by holding open the door. I would have done so for someone behind me if I was able to. I see it as being polite. It's along the same lines as saying thank you and excuse me. It's just something that everyone should do, not just men to do for women.

I agree completely. I hold doors open when someone is behind me. The only exception is when the person or persons are far enough behind me that I am forced to stand there holding a door while they dally along. It is common courtesy to do that. I am just saying that because of changes in social outlook, the practice of teaching men or women to be courteous of others is a dying art, if not already dead.

I don't think it is as prevalent now as it was in the early 70's when I actually got yelled at for holding a door. This, granted, was at the very beginning of the womans movement but it did have a lasting effect on my mind. I eventually overcame the fear of holding a door for someone but I am much more callous about women standing on a bus etc. The way I see it there is no reason, unless they are elderly or pregnant or holding seventy eleven children, that they need to sit anymore than I do. My legs and feet sometimes hurt so bad that I can hardly stand. I would suspect that because others can't feel the pain they think of me as being lower than whale do-do for not getting up. There are certain things that I can be OK with and that is one of them.

Why would a child need to sit as opposed to an adult? For the life of me I do not know. All their parts are new, they normally never have the aches and pains of an older person and have energy coming out of their ears when they want too. Sitting on a bus with no seatbelt offers no more protection from injury than standing, in fact less. Now they have the back of another seat to smash into instead of a soft body. I see no need to be uncomfortable so their young butts can have a ride. So call me old and grumpy if you want. If one would plan ahead they might have been on the bus earlier or waited for the next one. There lack of planning does not constitute my emergency. (love that phrase)

I should probably apologize in advance to all the people I just offended but it wouldn't be sincere, so probably not.

 

[maxiesmom]

It's the 'social norm' depeding on where you live. I'm sure it IS common in big cities, where there are subways and such. But how many cities are like that compared to the rest of the country? In all my time, I swear, I have NEVER heard of that ...and I have been on many escalators in my time. In places such as Birmingham and Atlanta, we call that rude and impatient. I'm sure the vast majority wants to get off the escalator safe and sound...I'll stick with them.

It is not the norm to walk up escalators in Michigan either. Probably because they are so narrow, there is no room for anyone to walk. And I don't remember any of the airport ones being wide enough for walking either. It sounds to me like people need to learn to be just a little more patient and let the escalator do the walking for them.

 

[winterman]

I am a 58 year old female. I hold doors open for people, regardless of their gender, if they appear to need any help (like using a cane, carrying a package, have children by the hand). Probably 95% of them say thank you. Believe me I get annoyed if they don't acknowledge me but I don't verbalize it. Maybe because that would make me as rude as they were.

My pet peeve is the many people who when approaching doors, go to the one on the left. I was brought up to always walk to the right (we drive on the right don't we?) It seems to me a simple thing that makes life easier. I wish every body did it.