teenagers and long-distance relationships

[undercovermom]

my daughter has a new boyfriend. she has not asked my opinion and I have very wisely chosen not to offer an opinion. but I'm curious because... well...

dd is a college freshman, she'll turn 18 next month. she goes to college 200 miles away from home. the boyfriend is someone she met at her summer job, he's from our communty. he's a high school senior, he turned 17 a few months ago.


anyone have any experience with a relationship like this? and how did it work out?

 

[singingpixie]

When I was in college, most hometown relationships ended the first year- most by the end of October. Best to just wait it out and see what happens though- you never can tell!

 

[disney junky]

my daughter has a new boyfriend. she has not asked my opinion and I have very wisely chosen not to offer an opinion. but I'm curious because... well...

dd is a college freshman, she'll turn 18 next month. she goes to college 200 miles away from home. the boyfriend is someone she met at her summer job, he's from our communty. he's a high school senior, he turned 17 a few months ago.


anyone have any experience with a relationship like this? and how did it work out?

Just curious why it's wise not to offer an opinion? You're the mom, right?

 

[dolphinrescuegirl]

He ended up cheating on me and broke up with me when I returned home for the summer. I really regretted not dating some of the guys that I had met at college. I would redo it all again if I had the choice.

 

[shirleyb]

Well, my DH and I are married now for 20 years. We went to college about 2 hrs apart. Like any relationship, it'll work or not, depending on a variety of factors.

 

[eliza61]

my daughter has a new boyfriend. she has not asked my opinion and I have very wisely chosen not to offer an opinion. but I'm curious because... well...

dd is a college freshman, she'll turn 18 next month. she goes to college 200 miles away from home. the boyfriend is someone she met at her summer job, he's from our communty. he's a high school senior, he turned 17 a few months ago.


anyone have any experience with a relationship like this? and how did it work out?

I wouldn't worry over much about it. Most long distance relationships at a young age run their natural course. I "fell in love" my freshman year in college with a guy who lived in Tennessee, I lived in Manhattan.
After a year of trying to see each other we called it quits.

 

[Buckalew11]

My nephew has continued his relationship w/his hometown GF and is now a JR in college.

Maybe this guy is the reason your DD wants to come home a lot. Yep, that usually has something to do with it.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

My high school sweatheart turned into a long distance relationship. We started dating our Senior year. Next year he moved away to college and I stayed at a local college. We made things work for the 4 years of college by taking turns visiting each other, and then 2 months before we were graduating he broke up with me and moved in with some girl.

 

[Pigeon]

Personally, I think you are brilliant for not offering an opinion. One of the things I really appreciated about my mother is that she never commented on the people we dated. You could be seeing Charlie Manson, Bill Gates or Robert Redford, and all Mom would say is, "He's very nice, dear." If she had expressed an opinion, I'm sure we would have immediately done the opposite of what she suggested.

I met a guy in high school and we went together during college. Our schools were about 400 miles away from each other. We each had a great time at school, and we saw each other during the summers and vacations.

We've been blissfully married for 26 years.

With your child it may last or it may not, just like any other relationship.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I know more than one person who dated like that all through college and they are now married. In fact I can think of at least 3 and they all met in High School.

 

[undercovermom]

I am choosing not to offer an opinion because my daughter is very much like me...any time my mom offered an opinion of a boy...well, if she didn't like him, I discovered that I was madly in love. it's only now, 30 years later, that I understand my mother's point of view.

the boy in question is very nice, very ambitious, wants to go to medical school. but I want her to be more involved with college and the poeple at her school.

we'll see how long it lasts.

 

[Stephanie218]

He ended up cheating on me and broke up with me when I returned home for the summer. I really regretted not dating some of the guys that I had met at college. I would redo it all again if I had the choice.

I agree. My hometown bf and I did long distance for a year, and I ended up transferring for him, across the country. Dated for another year and still had problems, broke up, and then found out he was cheating on me while we did long distance freshman year anyway.

Having said that, I still think transferring was a positive experience, and I may have never met DH otherwise.

I also agree that not offering an opinion is a very good thing at this point. Both my parents and his tried to get us to break up, and it just made me even more determined to try and make it work.

 

[tzolkin]

Well, I went to college in NY while DH was in FL for 2 years. He then moved here and went to college a little over an hour away for the other 2 years. It worked out for us and we are happily married with 3 kids, but most of the people I heard of in college that had long distance relationships did not work out.

If you think the guy is decent, I see no reason to discourage the relationship. I would, however, emphasize the importance of making friends/being involved at college. She can certainly still have the long distance relationship and a good college experience. But, it there are jealousy issues (he doesn't want her spending time with friends because he doesn't want her to cheat) or she just spends all her time devoted to finding time to spend with him, she may have some problems.

 

[DISNEYmooner2008]

I started dating a guy in May right before I graduated high school. I dated him all through the summer and then left in September to go to college over 300 miles away. It was hard but we stayed together! We were married in January 2008. We'll be married for a year in January 2009 and are expecting our first little girl January 2, 2009.

 

[Aardvarks]

I started dating my GF just 5 months before going to college 100 miles away. She was 1 year my junior. During this 1st year at college I managed to get back to my home town just once every 6 weeks.

In my second year my GF attended a college just 20 miles from mine and we saw each other every third week.

After I graduated, I came back to my home town and started work. I saw my lovely GF once per month. I worked solid for two years to save a deposit for a house. I had one suit, one pair of jeans, one pair of casual trousers and about 5 shirts, 1 pair work shoes and 1 pair sneakers. We bought a house, got married, moved in.

We just celebrated our silver wedding anniversary.....yep 25 years married and 30 years together.

What ever will be will be

 

[Kath2003]

They rarely work but she should enjoy it whilst it lasts.

 

[sk8ingmom]

Eighteen years ago, I was 17 and fell in love with an 18 year old college guy. We dated all through college (12 hours apart) and got married fourteen years ago next week.

 

[englishteacha]

I graduated a year before my now DH did. We started dating just after my graduation. We did long distance for a year while I was a freshman in college. He decided to come to the same college I attended, and we've been married 6 years now, together for 10. It worked out well for us! Most of my friends who came to college with a significant other didn't stay together through freshman year. A small few are still together, and married, today.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

My ex-husband lived about 200 miles from me when we first started dating at 18 and 19. He ended up moving closer to me after about a year though, so we weren't long-distance for very long.

 

[Enchanted_Mama]

Three weeks before I left for college (14 hours away), I met a cute boy from my hometown area. I figured it would just be a summer fling. Then, I got to college and figured it wouldn't last the first semester. After freshman year, I transfered to a school much closer (only three hours away), and he came up once a month. I had a very full college life, full of friends and activities. When he came up to visit, he was a part of it - when he wasn't there, it wasn't like I was pining away just counting the days until I could see him again. We dated all through college and after I graduated, I moved 3000 miles across the country with him. we just celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary this past June. So yeah, they don't often last, but sometimes things are just meant to be.