How old is too old for DD's to go with DH in the men's room?

[imthatgirl]

To me, small, young boys are the 5 and under set.

So are you carding all young boys you see in bathroom stalls? 5...6...who cares? What a strange line to draw, especially where you wouldn't even know by looking at them.

 

[maxiesmom]

There are very few adult men in the women's room I use. Statistically adult males are the main perpetrators in molestation cases.

But when did we start focusing on statistics? Statistically a child will be molested by someone they know. So statistically there should be no problem sending your child into a restroom without you, because statistically speaking there will be no problems.

 

[maxiesmom]

Oh, who cares about how GIRLS feel as long as the parents of the BOYS are parenting as they see fit? It's the boy's parent's choice, after all. If a girl should feel scared or uncomfortable it's their own problem and they, along with adults like powellrj, should just suck it up. Safety first!

That is what really gets me. Is the fact that some parent's paranoia about their male child seems to be of utmost importance. They could care less about other people and their daughters as long as their own paranoia is fed.

 

[princessmom29]

Actually, these threads have enlightened me on the amount of boys using the ladies room for no good reason, besides the irrational fears of their parents.

Iti s amazing and the numbers continue to go up.

I see no reason why a typically functioning 6 or 7 year old can't use the mens room. If you are stating you can't enter the ladies room because you have an infant and wheelchair bound 4 year old, how do you go? I assume the wheelchair must be motorized, because you can't push a stroller and a wheelchair at the same time. According to your posts, it seems like you have a baby, a wheelchair bound 4 year old, a 6 year old, and a 7 year old, plus an older child. I still can't see a reason why your 6 or 7 year olds can't use the mens room, or why you can't come with them into the ladies room, since you claim you all go together when everyone has to go.

There IS no reason a typical 6-7 year old cannot go into the mens room alone, except thier parent's own hang ups and irrational fear of the boogey man. The rest of us pay for those fears.

Oh, who cares about how GIRLS feel as long as the parents of the BOYS are parenting as they see fit? It's the boy's parent's choice, after all. If a girl should feel scared or uncomfortable it's their own problem and they, along with adults like powellrj, should just suck it up. Safety first!

ITA. No reason someone el's irrational fears should cause my DD to have to deal with boys her age watching her go to the bathroom.

That person is referring to older children around the age of 12 probably(she does specifically say over 5 feet tall..I read it, did you even bother to?)...not small children. Small boys use the girls bathroom every day. I am really starting to wonder what kind of issues you people must have to get all worked up over small kids using the stall next to you?
I have never been frightened by small children. What is it about small boys that freak you out so much?

No, a 4 year old is much different than a 7-8 year old in the restroom. It id not me, but my DD that I woory about. She simply shouldn't be subjected to boys her age watching her go to the restroom becuase someone's mommy is terrified to let him out of her sight.

Well good thing no one no one is talking about bringing older boys or kids who are causing trouble into the bathroom.
Unaccompanied...eh, I asked the pages ago and it was ignored ...what is the difference between a boy using a toilet with his mother next to him or a boy using the toilet with his mother outside the door? Other then your own insecurities of course.

"they do not belong there"...hmmm, guess you really don't get a say in that. And I can see from this post that that really bothers you, lol.

Yes, many here are. 7 is WAYYYY too old to be in women's room. They are more than capable of gonig to the mens room. No, insecurity has nothing to do with it. There is simply no need for a 7 year old or older to be in the women's restroom, and too many potential problems that stem from pre-teen boys in the restroom. I know the for many, many girls it is a big deal. Talk about "there is a stall" all you want, but everyone here knows you can see into a stall from across the room in many bathrooms, and you cannot tell me that no little boy has ever taken advantage of that. I would wager to say most curious per-teen boys would. THAT makes my DD uncomfortable going to the restroom with a boy in the next stall or outside the door, and frankly I don't blame her. At that age, grils are very self conscious and I wouldn't want some little boy looking at me either.

 

[nhmommy]

Yes, many here are. 7 is WAYYYY too old to be in women's room. They are more than capable of gonig to the mens room. No, insecurity has nothing to do with it. There is simply no need for a 7 year old or older to be in the women's restroom, and too many potential problems that stem from pre-teen boys in the restroom. I know the for many, many girls it is a big deal. Talk about "there is a stall" all you want, but everyone here knows you can see into a stall from across the room in many bathrooms, and you cannot tell me that no little boy has ever taken advantage of that. I would wager to say most curious per-teen boys would. THAT makes my DD uncomfortable going to the restroom with a boy in the next stall or outside the door, and frankly I don't blame her. At that age, grils are very self conscious and I wouldn't want some little boy looking at me either.

If your daughter is so scared have her wait a couple min until the boy and his mom leave. If a mother thinks 7 is too young to leave her child outside the restroom while she uses it she should be allowed to bring him in with her. As far as I can tell (not having an accurate idea of how mature the average 7 year old is) I feel it would be unsafe to leave them outside alone particularly at WDW there are way to many things that could be distracting and they could so easily wander off while mom is inside.

 

[mjkacmom]

So are you carding all young boys you see in bathroom stalls? 5...6...who cares? What a strange line to draw, especially where you wouldn't even know by looking at them.

It's not a strange line - elementary school-aged boys can use the mens room. They've been bathrooming on their own for several years now. Preschoolers, however, sometimes still need assistance. And it's age, not height. My 10 year old weighs 62 pounds, and could easily be overpowered by an adult. She still has more independence than a 62 pound 4 year old.

Unless the child is over 100 pounds, they will be overpowered by an adult. Should 90 pound 12 year olds be in the ladies room? No. We teach them how to react to certain situations, and they learn to trust their instincts.

 

[Leajess99]

Okay, I'll guess I'll be the heated one here. I keep seeing threads like this and every time I read them I think....why can't people just mind their own business? What difference does it make if kids are school aged in the wrong gender toilet?

My son is 5 and no way is he ready to go alone into the men's toilet. He has enough toilet issues and fears (not to mention a shy/timid kid) that I expect he will not be ready for quite sometime. I will let him go alone into the men's toilet when HE feels safe and ready. The day he looks at me and tells me he doesn't want to go in a girls potty, that's when I'll know he is ready and woe to anyone I see ever giving him a dirty look.

Though I must say....I have never, ever seen anyone give us a dirty look. I only ever see these discussions on message boards. But maybe that's because he is only 5.

I have seen 10+ year old boys in girl bathrooms before. So what? How am I supposed to know what issuesnthey have. As long as they aren't peering underneath my stall, they can pee where they want.

Another issue I see a lot is the stroller thing. Who freaking cares what age a kid is in a stroller? Why does everyone just assume an older kid in a stroller is just lazy. I stumbled across a blogmsite the other day thatbhas tons of big kids in strollers with their face blocked out from Disney. I am completely appalled by that. You NEVER know what reasons there are for it. Not all special needs children look special.

When I see something tha looks kind of odd. I just mind my own beeswax because you never know.

*off soapbox*

In ref the bolded, No , they canNOT pee wherever they want. It must be really sad that these boys cannot be allowed to grow up or be trusted to use the bathroom by themselves. My son is now 18 but has been able to go to the bathroom by himself by the time he turned 6.

I am also so sick of people with comments that the girls need to get over it. Sorry but let your babies grow up and be responsible. STOP INTERFERING WITH THE GIRLS' RIGHT TO PRIVACY IN A BATHROOM MEANT FOR AND DESIGNATED FOR THEM!!!!

Good grief it is sad that in a few years these same boys will be feared as the boogie man because moms just can't let their snowflakes grow. I so wish I could remember what my son's University Dean called the new style of parenting as it is not helicopter but something far stronger. Imagine these kids growing up too afraid to do anything at their colleges and universities.

 

[Hannathy]

If your daughter is so scared have her wait a couple min until the boy and his mom leave. If a mother thinks 7 is too young to leave her child outside the restroom while she uses it she should be allowed to bring him in with her. As far as I can tell (not having an accurate idea of how mature the average 7 year old is) I feel it would be unsafe to leave them outside alone particularly at WDW there are way to many things that could be distracting and they could so easily wander off while mom is inside.

Why should the girl who belongs in there wait? She is in the right place not the boy. If it makes any person that belongs in there uncomfortable then the offending party should leave not the person who belongs there.

If a 7 yr old (2nd- 3rd grade, end of 1rst in some cases) can't follow directions to stay in one spot and NOT wander off then the Mother has more problems than the absolutely minuscule chance of the boogie man kidnapping them in Disneyworld.

And if she thinks, empahasis on thinks, there is a real risk to him waiting outside for her then it is simple bring him in and take him in her stall. Problem solved. If she doesn't want him in with her while she goes no one else does either.

But the truth is altho I think 7 is to old, I could even deal with a few 7 yr olds if that were the upper extreme but if you read on here they want to be able to bring 8,9,10, heck even 11 yr olds!! (who are mostly taller than I am) in also.
I mean really where does it stop?

 

[Leajess99]

Exactly and as I said in the other thread take him into your stall with you! If he is too old to go into the stall with you, if you feel uncomfortable THEN he is too old to be in there.

 

[Hannathy]

Imagine these kids growing up too afraid to do anything at their colleges and universities.

And totally unprepared as to what to do!

My DD says some of the new freshman are so stupid as far as personal safety and being aware of their surroundings, they have no idea how to judge a situation and make intelligent decisions.


I wish you could member what he called them to , it would be interesting.

 

[Leajess99]

Embarrassment? What the hell are you talking about. I understand that the only life experience you have to relate to are your own, and if your kids are embarrassed to use a public bathroom then do what you need to do...I don't have your kids. so I do what we need to do. Simple as that. I don't have kids who are embarrassed to use a public restroom, lol.
BTW...with 5 kids it's just not that easy to get everyone into restrooms all the time.
So again I do what I need to do...regardless of what you have to say, since of course you are just a judgemental faceless person on the internet who really has no clue of the situations in my life.

Again, either go in with them or send them in their appropriate restroom. My daughters do NOT want to see your boys or any other boy their age in the restroom they do NOT belong in.

Imagine my daughter's surprise to walk into a bathroom at Pizza Planet to a boy bigger than her standing in there while his mom was in a stall. Very sad that she had to feel embarassed because someone was incapable of letting their child go to the bathroom alone.

 

[Hannathy]

Again, either go in with them or send them in their appropriate restroom. My daughters do NOT want to see your boys or any other boy their age in the restroom they do NOT belong in.

Imagine my daughter's surprise to walk into a bathroom at Pizza Planet to a boy bigger than her standing in there while his mom was in a stall. Very sad that she had to feel embarassed because someone was incapable of letting their child go to the bathroom alone.

Yes and what if she needed to purchase something? Surely you remember how embarrassing that would be for a young girl. I'm not talking married Mothers, college students, even high school students, I'm talking young girls. Ridiculous that they need that added stress for absolutely no reason.

 

[Leajess99]

Like I have said again and again. I can not always go in with them. I feel more comfortable with them in the girls room...many young boys use the girls room...and so thats where they go.

What the hell is the difference between a 5yo with his mom or without? Oh...there is no difference.

You stated previously that they are 6 and 7 so why change the age now??? Oh yeah I know cause you are getting called out on it.

 

[Leajess99]

Not all places have companion bathrooms. I still see no difference between me being in there or outside the door?

As far as the girl drying her shirt. I wouldn't care. It's a bra. Whatever.
Although there are laws about undressing in public(a public restroom in in public) so either way she would be in the wrong. But again I wouldn't care.

Please show me a law that addresses undressing in a restroom. Oh yeah, you can't because the laws do NOT apply to undressing in a restroom.

 

[Hannathy]

You stated previously that they are 6 and 7 so why change the age now??? Oh yeah I know cause you are getting called out on it.

yep, and there is a big difference between a 2nd grader and a kindergartner!

 

[Leajess99]

No one goes to the bathroom in the public area of the bathroom. No one I've ever met anyway. I can't account for you or the people you know I suppose.
And yes I can use a camera in a public bathroom....I can not enter a stall where someone else is and use one.
no you can not undress in the bathroom outside the stall. There are laws about that. That would be covered under the pubic decency laws.

If I were you I would really restrain from using a camera in a public bathroom as there are indeed laws about that. Voyeurism is a chargeable offense and many states have other laws pertaining to the use of cameras in a public bathroom.

 

[princessmom29]

If your daughter is so scared have her wait a couple min until the boy and his mom leave. If a mother thinks 7 is too young to leave her child outside the restroom while she uses it she should be allowed to bring him in with her. As far as I can tell (not having an accurate idea of how mature the average 7 year old is) I feel it would be unsafe to leave them outside alone particularly at WDW there are way to many things that could be distracting and they could so easily wander off while mom is inside.

I have a 7 year old. She has long been capable of following simple instructions like "wait right here and do not move". If a 7 year old cannot do that it is becuase the have not been taught how to, not becuase they are too immature to do so. They are LONG past being able to handle it maturity wise IF they have been taught. NO WAY would my 7 year old "wander off". Mabye a 4 year old, but a 7 year old is in 2nd grade. Well old enough to know better. My daughter is not scared, but uncomfortable with boy watching her do her business. I think it is a valid concern. Would you be willing to allow an adult male you don't know watch you? I don't think she should have to "wait" she is in the correct restroom. Perhaps the parents of school aged boys who cannot handle sending them to the men's room should wait for acompanion restroom. Most don't ewant ot do that however as it is one open stall and thier boy would "see" them. If he is too old to see you go, he is too old to see my DD go as well.

 

[princessmom29]

Yes and what if she needed to purchase something? Surely you remember how embarrassing that would be for a young girl. I'm not talking married Mothers, college students, even high school students, I'm talking young girls. Ridiculous that they need that added stress for absolutely no reason.

exactly. At that age I would be mortified to have to purchase a tampon in front of a boy and run the risk of him seeing me use it.

 

[nhmommy]

I have a 7 year old. She has long been capable of following simple instructions like "wait right here and do not move". If a 7 year old cannot do that it is becuase the have not been taught how to, not becuase they are too immature to do so. They are LONG past being able to handle it maturity wise IF they have been taught. NO WAY would my 7 year old "wander off". Mabye a 4 year old, but a 7 year old is in 2nd grade. Well old enough to know better. My daughter is not scared, but uncomfortable with boy watching her do her business. I think it is a valid concern. Would you be willing to allow an adult male you don't know watch you? I don't think she should have to "wait" she is in the correct restroom. Perhaps the parents of school aged boys who cannot handle sending them to the men's room should wait for acompanion restroom. Most don't ewant ot do that however as it is one open stall and thier boy would "see" them. If he is too old to see you go, he is too old to see my DD go as well.

Just to clarify if I were bringing my child into the restroom with me for their safety they would also be in the stall with me,providing they fit not all restrooms have enough room. I am referring to the girls waiting until he is in the stall with his mother.

 

[Leajess99]

I don't care if your special needs child is 18 - if you need to assist him or her, of course, bring your child into the ladies room. You NEED to. It's the "boogie man" parents that ruin it for those who actually need to bring their boys into the ladies room.

I agree with this.