Bath time advise - DS & DD, when to separate their bath?

[skojo]

HI
My DS is turning 5 on April 5th and my DD is turning 4 on May 28th. Currently they still take a bath together. They love it and spend a good 30-40 minutes playing in the bath after they are washed. Recently, a coworker of mine looked at me in disgust when I told her they still take a bath together. Is it time to separate them? I really don't see an issue yet as they are still so young. Am I way off on this? Thanks!

 

[Lilacs4Me]

My younger two are 19 months apart (born June 2004 and Feb 2006), and they took baths together until the older one was about 6 - sometime between Kindergarten and first grade. She at that point decided she was no longer willing to share the tub with her little brother.

It was about at that time that I started thinking it was time, too, so I didn't argue....

 

[Wishing on a star]

I see no problem with a 5 year old!
And, if that keeps them in the bath longer, and they get clean...
Maybe 6.... 7 for sure?
They might also let you know if you give them the chance.
When you do decide, maybe make it a 'special' thing, with big-boy and big-girl special bath toys and soaps/shampoo, etc.

 

[2Kds2K9]

My DS is two years older than my DD. We stopped when my DS asked when was DD going to get her *****. He was about four. It was more time consuming to bathe separately, but it ended up being nice one on one time at the end of the day.

 

[Disneylover99]

They are 3 and 4. I think it's totally fine. I miss those double bath days.

 

[DLgal]

Our boys are 20 months apart. We stopped the co-baths when the oldest was 5, just because they were getting too big at that point AND we wanted to encourage independence and teach them how to shower. We used a wall mounted pump with shampoo and shower gel and got them colorful bath poufs and they LOVED showering by themselves. This helped immensely when traveling as well, as you don't always get a bathtub when you stay in a hotel room.

To me, the gender of the child doesn't matter too much, but I really do think it is important to get kids independent in their self care as young as possible to establish good lifelong habits.

 

[mjkacmom]

Oldest DD was 5, her brother 3. It was when DD6mos started to join them. It was getting crowded, and DD was starting kindergarten. DH did not go about it well, just told ds he couldn't get in (I mentioned it to DH that it was about time, and he ran with it). Ds was hysterical.

My b/g twins were showering at 3 - I was done with baths by then!

 

[smiths02]

I think we will stop with my b/g twins around 5...school age. They already don't always bathe together. Sometimes the girls (me and DD) will shower together and the boys (DS-9 and DS-3) will take a shower together to get things going faster.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

@@ Some people are so prudish. They're kids. You're not at the "OMG what are you thinking?!" point. Don't worry. I have 3 kids, B/G/B. I let all three take a bath together until I decided they were old enough for showers not baths. They're 12, 15 and 18 now so it's been awhile but I am thinking around 6 or so was when I told my oldest he needed to start showering. It was hard because he would still want to be in the bath with the younger ones but they each got over it when it was their time. Plus my knees hurt from kneeling on the ground trying to clean 3 wiggling children so I was eager to cut down on the amount of time I had to kneel over the bathtub lol.

 

[smiths02]

@@ Some people are so prudish. They're kids. You're not at the "OMG what are you thinking?!" point. Don't worry. I have 3 kids, B/G/B. I let all three take a bath together until I decided they were old enough for showers not baths. They're 12, 15 and 18 now so it's been awhile but I am thinking around 6 or so was when I told my oldest he needed to start showering. It was hard because he would still want to be in the bath with the younger ones but they each got over it when it was their time. Plus my knees hurt from kneeling on the ground trying to clean 3 wiggling children so I was eager to cut down on the amount of time I had to kneel over the bathtub lol.

I agree.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

If you are thinking about it, the answer is probably "now".

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'd say about 6. I wouldn't do it older than 8 for sure.

 

[smiths02]

My DS is two years older than my DD. We stopped when my DS asked when was DD going to get her p e n i s. He was about four. It was more time consuming to bathe separately, but it ended up being nice one on one time at the end of the day.

If we stopped when the private parts started being the topic of discussion, we would have had to stop at age 2 with the b/g twins lol

 

[Poohforyou]

I used to take baths with 2 of my brothers and those are some of my fondest memories. There's less than 3 years between me (the youngest) and the older of these 2 brothers. I don't remember exactly when we stopped or why but I imagine it was when I was around 5. We shared a room as well but I got my own room at 5. I don't remember anything but having fun.

If I had a boy/girl close in age I'd bathe them together until one asked to be separated. I'd probably just check in periodically to make sure they still wanted to be together.

I imagine by 7 or so they'll want privacy.

 

[aprilchem]

I don't see any issue with it now. Mine are 6, 8, and 10 and they all take showers independently now, but we did bathe them together when they were younger. It's a time-saver!

 

[skojo]

Thanks for all the advise. I wasn't concerned about it until the reaction I received from my coworker when we were just having a casual mom conversation about our kids. I wasn't asking her advise on this, it just came up in conversation. I really hadn't thought about it until then. After her reaction, it just got me thinking "am I doing something wrong".
Thanks again. I feel better.
I was going to ask other moms at the daycare but was afraid of getting that same horrified reaction from them. I'm going to continue the bath together for now.

 

[cabanafrau]

@@ Some people are so prudish. They're kids. You're not at the "OMG what are you thinking?!" point. Don't worry. I have 3 kids, B/G/B. I let all three take a bath together until I decided they were old enough for showers not baths. They're 12, 15 and 18 now so it's been awhile but I am thinking around 6 or so was when I told my oldest he needed to start showering. It was hard because he would still want to be in the bath with the younger ones but they each got over it when it was their time. Plus my knees hurt from kneeling on the ground trying to clean 3 wiggling children so I was eager to cut down on the amount of time I had to kneel over the bathtub lol.

Reading this just brought back flashbacks of knees screaming in pain, backaches and unbelievable stiffness from hauling myself up after bathtime. Don't miss that a bit.

OP, I have faith your children are not scarred for life. The time is coming, but I think you have some grace period left.

 

[mamacatnv]

OP just wait until you ask about bed sharing at a hotel!

My kids are 10 years apart, shared baths never happened but Brother used to give Sis a bath from the time she was a weee baby into her early childhood when she discovered modesty.

However, as a child, my one sibling and I are only 8.5 months apart, we shared a room until we were in 2nd/3rd grade and I believe we shared bath time as well.

We are both well adjusted 50 year olds

My answer is when someone starts to get uncomfortable, be it Mom, Dad or one of the kids. Every family has a different dynamic and I think many "read way toooo much" into the innocent actions/behaviors of children

 

[DizBelle]

OP just wait until you ask about bed sharing at a hotel!

My kids are 10 years apart, shared baths never happened but Brother used to give Sis a bath from the time she was a weee baby into her early childhood when she discovered modesty.

However, as a child, my one sibling and I are only 8.5 months apart, we shared a room until we were in 2nd/3rd grade and I believe we shared bath time as well.

We are both well adjusted 50 year olds

My answer is when someone starts to get uncomfortable, be it Mom, Dad or one of the kids. Every family has a different dynamic and I think many "read way toooo much" into the innocent actions/behaviors of children

You and your sibling are only 8.5 months apart? Was one of you a super preemie?

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

When either child shows any signs of being uncomfortable with it, it is time to stop.