Feeling a little overwhelmed

FSU Girl

DIS Veteran
Joined
Oct 20, 2016
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed about the wedding and need to vent a little and some guidance. I really don't know anything about weddings. I've always known I've wanted mine to be at Disney and that's about it. I've been to one wedding as an adult and didn't participate in a bridal party or anything. I've been reading through people's wedding journals for tips and such.

I have my wedding planning session set for May. Should I being picking my hair and makeup person before this so I can have them test it out that weekend? I've never had my makeup done professionally, can I show them how I wear mine normally and say do that but prettier? Do people do a test session? For this weekend I'm not staying on site and would have to go to their location I guess? But i definitely want to use someone who comes to your room on the wedding day.

For save the dates I think I've narrowed it down to two choices I saw on Etsy:
upload_2017-12-26_15-37-18.png



or

upload_2017-12-26_15-37-45.png

This part isn't really panicking just curious which one people like more.

One part that is really stressing me out is getting the wedding dress. My mom thinks I should just go with her and look at dresses first because she thinks I'm going to be picky and want to go to multiple stores and once I've narrowed it down involve my bridesmaids. I really want all my friends with me when I try them on, is it wrong for me to tell my mom to have them there? Also, I'm going on a strict diet and exercise before my wedding in November, so what if I lose a lot of weight after I've bought the dress? Should I wait a little while before looking?

And speaking of my bridesmaids I have asked all of them informally, but they said I have to do it formally with a gift and some cute presentation. What do people normally do? I think I've seen giving a ring pop and saying it's my turn to ask and then include some gift with their name on it or something?

Sorry for the panicky post!
 
No need to panic! We can help! :goodvibes

I have my wedding planning session set for May. Should I being picking my hair and makeup person before this so I can have them test it out that weekend?

Yes! This is an excellent idea. Even better if you can combine it with a portrait session with your wedding photographer so you can see what your makeup looks like in photos. Any photos you can provide will help the cosmetologist understand the look you are going for. They can even do the trial at your resort—you don't have to be staying at Walt Disney World. All the popular vendors do weddings all over the Orlando area, so they're used to going other places.

For save the dates I think I've narrowed it down to two choices I saw on Etsy:

This part isn't really panicking just curious which one people like more.

I like them both! Sorry that doesn't help....

One part that is really stressing me out is getting the wedding dress. My mom thinks I should just go with her and look at dresses first because she thinks I'm going to be picky and want to go to multiple stores and once I've narrowed it down involve my bridesmaids. I really want all my friends with me when I try them on, is it wrong for me to tell my mom to have them there?

Honestly, the more people you have with you, the more stressful it's going to be. And going to multiple stores isn't picky, it's practical. I shopped by myself and tried on something like 70 gowns before I finally found the one I liked best. I brought a friend back to see the top contenders, but, personally, I prefer shopping solo because I need time and space to make up my mind.

But if you are more of a group shopper, you should shop the way you feel most comfortable. What if you took a different friend to each shop and then brought them all along when you've narrowed it down?

Also, I may be reading into her comment here, but it could be that your mom was envisioning having some one-on-one time with you and is secretly sad that you'd rather go with your friends. Maybe you could schedule one of your appointments with just your mom to make her feel more included.


Also, I'm going on a strict diet and exercise before my wedding in November, so what if I lose a lot of weight after I've bought the dress? Should I wait a little while before looking?

You don't need to leave as much time for ordering the gown as you used to, but it is also a really tricky proposition to base your purchase on a potential weight loss goal. It can cause a lot of stress during the months leading up to the wedding and then more stress if the goal isn't achieved.

Unless the gown is really elaborate, a good seamstress should be able to take it in, if necessary.


And speaking of my bridesmaids I have asked all of them informally, but they said I have to do it formally with a gift and some cute presentation. What do people normally do? I think I've seen giving a ring pop and saying it's my turn to ask and then include some gift with their name on it or something?

Oh brother.... they actually told you that? Yet another reason I don't recommend having bridesmaids... :teeth:

Bridesmaid proposal is a new fad. There's no right or wrong way to do it, and you shouldn't feel pressured to do it. But if you want to do it, I think your idea sounds great!
 
I agree 100% with what @lurkyloo posted above.

I especially agree with having fewer people if possible for your dress shopping the more opinions you hear about gowns the more opportunities for someone to talk you out of a gown you really love.

Also it’s definitely a new fad for bridesmaid proposals and I’d really be taking them asking for a proposal as a question of how supportive they will be for you during this process. If they are thinking about what you “should” be doing for them instead of helping you with your wedding planning they may be better friends than bridesmaids.
 
I agree with what everyone said above!! If your bridesmaids told you you needed to do something formal, that would be a red flag to me. But if you really want them to be in your bridal party, the ring pop is a cute and inexpensive way to ask! My sister did that for us. I made bridesmaids boxes with like a mini bottle of champagne, hair ties, a Disney Vera Bradley coin purse, and nail polish and lip gloss, but that was what I wanted and chose to do- not because I felt pressured to do so!

I’m a group shopper so I wanted my friends (bridesmaids) to be there. BUT if my mom had made a request like that, I would have maybe planned a morning trip with just her, then an afternoon trip somewhere else which is where the bridesmaids can meet you. IF for some reason you fall in love with a dress at the first place, you can always ask your bridesmaids to come with you back to the first shop and say you saw the dress online or something like that.

I’m also trying to lose a lot of weight for my wedding, but I don’t have a specific number in mind. I’m starting my fittings in 3 weeks and whatever size I am, I am. If I lose any more, hopefully by the 2nd fitting I’ll be close to my final “end weight” because at that point I’ll be about a month out. And like Lurkyloo said, any seamstress could bring it in as long as the gown isn’t too elaborate. I would say try to reach your goal by that 2nd fitting date (which for most shops is about a month out) that way you don’t have to stress and panic in those final few weeks leading up to the big day. Even if you don’t reach your goal, I think it’s easier to make peace with it rather than constantly stressed those final few days! Your hubby to be will think you’re beautiful no matter what. That’s what I keep telling myself too! :)

Also-
I like the fastpass STDs. I’m doing those as my escort cards for the reception, though, so I’m a bit biased ;)
 


No need to panic! We can help! :goodvibes
I like the fastpass STDs. I’m doing those as my escort cards for the reception, though, so I’m a bit biased ;)
I agree 100% with what @lurkyloo posted above.

Thank you everyone! This is all sooooo helpful! I had hoped with a Disney wedding there wouldn't be a lot of stress that comes with planning a wedding elsewhere since they do so much.

And my friend who wants me to officially ask her I had posted about her before she was telling me to give her my room I book for the wedding. I can see her being a little difficult down the line, but she's been my friend for 10 years it would be weird not have her as one of my bridesmaids. I think I'll do something really simple and inexpensive. I have to mail one since one of my bridesmaids is in California.

We haven't really talked much about engagement photos, if we did them would it be weird to not have them until April?

Also for the Save The Dates my mom doesn't want them to be magnets and thinks people will feel it and think its junk mail? I thought it would be nice so people could put it on their fridge. What do most people do for these?
 
I like the Fastpass save the date FWIW. If the Save the Date has your's or your parents return address people shouldn't think they are magnets.
It's been a while since my day as a Bride and as Bridesmaid before that. We just went out for drinks or an inexpensive meal and did the asking / answering then. The only real gift was the ones given at the rehearsal dinner to each member of the wedding party.
 
We used Fastpass Save the Date. Had someone on Etsy design it on a PDF and then sent them to VistaPrint to make them as Magnets.
 


I have my planning session scheduled in February and talked to Janet from On Site Beauty, (that I already put on hold) to schedule my run-through. It only takes about two hours so you should be able to squeeze in some time for that!


I actually have a sample of the FastPass one on my fridge now and am thinking about them as well!!! The gentleman that makes them is really nice and was kind enough to send me a sample. I suggest you request that if you are thinking of ordering something online


I am in the SAME DAMN situation as you with the dress sizing. I am already on my weight loss track and that's great, but I want to lose some weight before I start trying on dresses and also order it. I don't know when I should try them on. Everyone is pushing me to do it now and I just don't want to.
 
I like the Fastpass save the date FWIW. If the Save the Date has your's or your parents return address people shouldn't think they are magnets.
It's been a while since my day as a Bride and as Bridesmaid before that. We just went out for drinks or an inexpensive meal and did the asking / answering then. The only real gift was the ones given at the rehearsal dinner to each member of the wedding party.
That's what I was thinking, if it has my name on it people shouldn't think its junk. And everyone in my family is probably expecting to get this in the mail since I made the announcement I was engaged. I think my mom is just being difficult. I think the formal asking of bridesmaids is a newer trend, not a huge fan of it since I'm planning a million other things too.

We used Fastpass Save the Date. Had someone on Etsy design it on a PDF and then sent them to VistaPrint to make them as Magnets.
Ya I was looking on Etsy. It mentioned they could be made into magnets on the site. Did they sent it to VistaPrint or did you have to do it?

I have my planning session scheduled in February and talked to Janet from On Site Beauty, (that I already put on hold) to schedule my run-through. It only takes about two hours so you should be able to squeeze in some time for that!
I actually have a sample of the FastPass one on my fridge now and am thinking about them as well!!! The gentleman that makes them is really nice and was kind enough to send me a sample. I suggest you request that if you are thinking of ordering something online
I am in the SAME DAMN situation as you with the dress sizing. I am already on my weight loss track and that's great, but I want to lose some weight before I start trying on dresses and also order it. I don't know when I should try them on. Everyone is pushing me to do it now and I just don't want to.
How do people pick the place to use for hair and makeup? Is On Site Beauty a good one? I pretty much was reading who people on here used for guidance. When you have them do the trial run are you going on that trip with your fiance? I'll be with mine and I'm not sure I want him to see my hair and makeup done before the wedding so it's a surprise. He was thinking of asking friends to join us on the trip so they can go do their own thing, but he was also thinking it would take hours to do. And that's a great idea to get a sample, I would like to see how it comes out and the quality. When is your wedding? Everyone keeps telling me I need to start looking yesterday for my dress and I agree with you I want to wait a little to start trying on.
 
How do people pick the place to use for hair and makeup? Is On Site Beauty a good one? I pretty much was reading who people on here used for guidance. When you have them do the trial run are you going on that trip with your fiance? I'll be with mine and I'm not sure I want him to see my hair and makeup done before the wedding so it's a surprise. He was thinking of asking friends to join us on the trip so they can go do their own thing, but he was also thinking it would take hours to do. And that's a great idea to get a sample, I would like to see how it comes out and the quality. When is your wedding? Everyone keeps telling me I need to start looking yesterday for my dress and I agree with you I want to wait a little to start trying on.

I did a little research on who used whom for hair and makeup and then I checked reviews on WeddingWire and The Knot for them. I also looked at their websites and their links for galleries on instagram and on their site. Then, I contacted all of the usual suspects for Disney weddings and got their quotes for them and checked if they came to my room for the services.

Janet (from on site, who owns it) contacted me personally, we even had a phone call and I just really liked her personality and guidance. She seemed very knowledgeable and extremely friendly. She does the hair herself and has her employees do the makeup. The hair is what she got started in and has been doing it for a really long time so that is why she sticks with hair and not makeup. I really liked that too. She also only required a $50 deposit and it is fully refundable if I decide to go another route. She seemed like an honest business woman that is very flexible. I booked her pretty much on those aspects.

Since we are going for our planning session my fiancé will be with me and that isn't ideal really, but we have been together for just under 9 years and have had a house for 2 1/2 so there isn't a lot of surprise left. ; ) I don't see it being a possibility to go down there without him for just a trial. Also, for timing your trial should only take about 2 hours instead of the 4 or 5 on your wedding day because it is just you.
 
When is your wedding? Everyone keeps telling me I need to start looking yesterday for my dress and I agree with you I want to wait a little to start trying on.

Our wedding is October 28th of next year and people are riding my butt too to go try on dresses. "You have to go and see what you like and what looks good, and your silhouette!" "You have to order it soon or you won't have one!" "Why don't you want to go?? It's your wedding dress!!"

First off, I am not getting married because I get to buy a wedding dress, you know? I am marrying my perfect fit - not my wedding dress. Of course, I have never been a girl planning her wedding from the age of 5 either. In addition, I'm not looking for something huge with lots of embroidery and lace and sequins and flowers and pearls and everything else they can manage to put on a dress. My sister-in-law was like that with hers. In my opinion it was out of control, but everybody has a different vision and I realize that. Something simpler for me, that I can't imagine would take 12 months to make.


I know I have to go and soon but I just don't feel very good about myself right now and I really don't want my first experience trying on wedding dresses to be me sobbing in the dressing room. That's just me. So I just take what people say and let it kind of go in one ear and out the other. I'm coming from a similar place as you and my advise is to not let it go too long, but go when you are ready. It is YOUR dress and YOUR body and no one can decide for you when you are ready to start the process.

When is your wedding? What are you looking for? How long are you thinking of holding off for?
 
When is your wedding? What are you looking for? How long are you thinking of holding off for?

I haven't made any calls or done much of anything yet. We just mailed the wedding contract in so I've been holding off doing much of anything until I hear back that it's all official. We are getting married on 11/11, so not too long after yours. I think after the holidays it'll be easier to focus on everything I have to do. I was thinking at the end of January going to look at dresses, so that'll give me a couple weeks. But I plan to be on a really strict diet until my wedding day and hope to see lots of progress over the almost 11 months.
 
Wow. We're like identical, LOL! I could just say ditto to everything you just said. : )

I'd love to hear how you are doing and updates with diet and dress shopping. Maybe we can keep each other on track and a bit more sane. : ) ...Just a thought...
 
Ya I was looking on Etsy. It mentioned they could be made into magnets on the site. Did they sent it to VistaPrint or did you have to do it?
The person on Etsy will send you a pdf which you will then upload to Vistaprint.
 
How do people pick the place to use for hair and makeup? Is On Site Beauty a good one? I pretty much was reading who people on here used for guidance. When you have them do the trial run are you going on that trip with your fiance? I'll be with mine and I'm not sure I want him to see my hair and makeup done before the wedding so it's a surprise. He was thinking of asking friends to join us on the trip so they can go do their own thing, but he was also thinking it would take hours to do. And that's a great idea to get a sample, I would like to see how it comes out and the quality. When is your wedding? Everyone keeps telling me I need to start looking yesterday for my dress and I agree with you I want to wait a little to start trying on.
My wife did the research on the DJ, Hair, Makeup, Photography, Officiants and picked the ones with the best feedback and availability. We scheduled our planning session for when we were in Disney for a few days.

11/4 - Arrived in Orlando
11/5 - Planning Session with Disney
11/6 - Met with Officiant (Glynn Ferguson), DJ (Steve Weinsteen) and wife had a trial makeup and hair at Lejuene. (Note we had to use beautespeciale for our day after portrait session due to Lejune being unavailable. She had 2 different looks which she enjoyed)
11/8 - Met with Photographers (Root Photography) and left Orlando

This was when Disney still gave out annual passes so we squeezed in time at the parks when we could.
 
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Wow. We're like identical, LOL! I could just say ditto to everything you just said. : )

I'd love to hear how you are doing and updates with diet and dress shopping. Maybe we can keep each other on track and a bit more sane. : ) ...Just a thought...
That sounds like a great plan! I was considering doing the wedding journal planning on here, but I just don't think I could keep up with it.
 
My wife did the research on the DJ, Hair, Makeup, Photography, Officiants and picked the ones with the best feedback and availability. We scheduled our planning session for when we were in Disney for a few days.

11/4 - Arrived in Orlando
11/5 - Planning Session with Disney
11/6 - Met with Officiant (Glynn Ferguson), DJ (Steve Weinsteen) and wife had a trail makeup and hair at Lejuene. (Note we had to use beautespeciale for our day after portrait session due to Lejune being unavailable. She had 2 different looks which she enjoyed)
11/8 - Met with Photographers (Root Photography) and left Orlando

This was when Disney still gave out annual passes so we squeezed in time at the parks when we could.
We also are tacking on the wedding planning session to a weekend we had already booked. I want to use Disney's DJ, do I have to pick someone or will they assign it to me? We haven't figured out an officiant yet either. We have annual passes, but they are going to expire right after this trip. I think I have a lot of phone calls I need to make in the beginning of January. I was looking at Beaute Speciale one, was your wife happy with their results?
 
We also are tacking on the wedding planning session to a weekend we had already booked. I want to use Disney's DJ, do I have to pick someone or will they assign it to me? We haven't figured out an officiant yet either. We have annual passes, but they are going to expire right after this trip. I think I have a lot of phone calls I need to make in the beginning of January. I was looking at Beaute Speciale one, was your wife happy with their results?
Our DJ was assigned to us.

My wife was very happy with Beautue Speciale. My wife let them recommend a style and she loved it.
 
They will assign one but you can request one. I went through the list and checked out their websites and requested DJ Chuck Johnson. We were told a few days later the request was confirmed.

Liz
 
I’m planning on changing my name after the wedding. How long does this usually take? We are going to be booking a honeymoon cruise a stay at Disney world so I’m wondering what I should do about my name on the reservations. I’m guessing Disney world won’t be as difficult, but will it be an issue with the cruise?
 

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