Yearly Review...finances

[DLgal]

I'm not sure if you really meant that you wanted to work but if you did, you might check into tutoring through your local school district. It pays well and in many districts is only 10 - 15 hours per week.




Eh, different strokes for different folks. I know people who have it all joint and those who keep a separation. Every couple should do what works for them just make sure that both are aware and could find the money if they needed to.

Our district does not hire tutors. Around here, parents pay big bucks to local companies that offer after school tutoring (it's a predominantly "Asian Tiger Mom, our kid needs to get into an Ivy League" city). And parents around here only want to hire tutors that have graduate degrees. Not kidding.

 

[Christine]

Our district does not hire tutors. Around here, parents pay big bucks to local companies that offer after school tutoring (it's a predominantly "Asian Tiger Mom, our kid needs to get into an Ivy League" city). And parents around here only want to hire tutors that have graduate degrees. Not kidding.

What about for kids who are just struggling? Our school districts don't hire tutors either and we are probably in a similar type of area where tutors are hired for super smart kids so they can boost their already high test scores.

But there are kids who have issues with math, etc. I made use of several different math and science tutors for my daughter when she was in high school just to keep her from getting behind or getting a poor grade. Math was here weak spot. I knew of many parents who were looking for a tutor to boost what the lessons of the day in school were.

 

[tvguy]

Eh, different strokes for different folks. I know people who have it all joint and those who keep a separation. Every couple should do what works for them just make sure that both are aware and could find the money if they needed to.

Of course DW and I have never been in position where one us had a big enough paycheck for just one of us to pay the mortgage. We'd have been so busy transferring money back and forth between each other that it is just easier to have joint accounts.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Um...I would love to. I can't right now for a few reasons, special needs kids, a husband who travels and works super long hours, and some health issues I am trying to manage. I don't know of anyone who will hire me when my availability is basically limited to 9am-1pm, M-F and I need every weekend and school holiday break and the entire summer off. I do work from home a couple months out of the year and earn about $5k for two months of work, but that's seasonal employment with no other windows of opportunity during the year.

Thanks for your helpful suggestion, though...

Um...I don't know all the details of your life. Like I said I was trying to be helpful from what you posted on this thread that jumped out to me. I do know IRL people who are so insistent on being SAHM that their families are not doing well so that is where my mind jumps to. Everyone has different perspectives. ideas and circumstances.

As for us I do the majority of the spread sheeting and bill paying. Joint accounts. I do often wish my husband took more of a lead in making decisions regarding investments and financial planning.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Of course DW and I have never been in position where one us had a big enough paycheck for just one of us to pay the mortgage. We'd have been so busy transferring money back and forth between each other that it is just easier to have joint accounts.

Well we transfer money from our separate accounts to the joint account. With mobile banking it's not that much of an issue to transfer back and forth (all bank accounts are with the same bank). Especially if you set up a monthly transfer to the joint account for bills that stay the same each month (or billing cycle). We do that for the life insurance policies we have on each other. We did that for the trash bill when we lived in the rental house as well (our house we live in right now the trash bill is combined with the water and sewer to form one bill). I can understand if one feels it's easier but it's not really all the much of a chore to transfer back and forth. That comes down to personal preference of course.

 

[Colleen27]

Um...I don't know all the details of your life. Like I said I was trying to be helpful from what you posted on this thread that jumped out to me. I do know IRL people who are so insistent on being SAHM that their families are not doing well so that is where my mind jumps to. Everyone has different perspectives. ideas and circumstances.

As for us I do the majority of the spread sheeting and bill paying. Joint accounts. I do often wish my husband took more of a lead in making decisions regarding investments and financial planning.

It was sort of a weird leap to make, though, when that poster mentioned their long-term investments and specifically talked about curtailing really frivolous spending. It is one thing to suggest the wife should go back to work if she's stressing about paying bills, but when she's asking for advice on how to get her husband to cut back on steak dinners and toys/collectibles, well... that does point to a spending problem, not an earning problem. And as someone who was a long-time SAHM, I wouldn't have hesitated to go back to work to pay the kids' tuition or to have a small cushion leftover after paying bills but I wouldn't have taken kindly to the idea of adding work to an already-full plate so my DH could buy more toys and overspend his reimbursements when on business trips.

 

[DLgal]

It was sort of a weird leap to make, though, when that poster mentioned their long-term investments and specifically talked about curtailing really frivolous spending. It is one thing to suggest the wife should go back to work if she's stressing about paying bills, but when she's asking for advice on how to get her husband to cut back on steak dinners and toys/collectibles, well... that does point to a spending problem, not an earning problem. And as someone who was a long-time SAHM, I wouldn't have hesitated to go back to work to pay the kids' tuition or to have a small cushion leftover after paying bills but I wouldn't have taken kindly to the idea of adding work to an already-full plate so my DH could buy more toys and overspend his reimbursements when on business trips.

Yes! Thank you!

We could EASILY cut like $2500-$3000 PER MONTH of NON ESSENTIAL spending, if my husband would take it seriously. This is not hyperbole. You should see his Star Wars/Lego collections...

That's a much easier way to save money than me trying to find a job right now. Plus, we both decided that me staying home was going to be the only option. I worked for three years after we were married and my income paid off two new cars, both our student loans, and all the debt we racked up having our wedding, honeymoon, and furnishing our new place. So when I stopped working we were in a great position financially.

 

[Christine]

Yes! Thank you!

We could EASILY cut like $2500-$3000 PER MONTH of NON ESSENTIAL spending, if my husband would take it seriously. This is not hyperbole. You should see his Star Wars/Lego collections...

Wow, the military sounds very lucrative!!!

 

[sk!mom]

Yes! Thank you!

We could EASILY cut like $2500-$3000 PER MONTH of NON ESSENTIAL spending, if my husband would take it seriously. This is not hyperbole. You should see his Star Wars/Lego collections...

That's a much easier way to save money than me trying to find a job right now. Plus, we both decided that me staying home was going to be the only option. I worked for three years after we were married and my income paid off two new cars, both our student loans, and all the debt we racked up having our wedding, honeymoon, and furnishing our new place. So when I stopped working we were in a great position financially.

Wow! That's a lot of blown money. I can only imagine spending that much in discretionary spending, every month, if we were taking some great trips.

I can't even imagine where we would store that amount of collectibles. Especially if it was growing monthly.

Unless we had a VERY large income, that amount of discretionary spending would be a huge problem between DH and I. Whomever was doing it.

 

[DLgal]

Wow, the military sounds very lucrative!!!

It is after 18 years as an officer and living in a high cost of living area (we get tax free housing and subsistence allowances totaling $4000/month in addition to his base pay).

 

[Forevermarypoppins]

30+ years of marriage and separate finances as in he pays this and I pay that. Separate CC's that we each pay our own. That being said every few months we have a sit down to go over the assets, the debts, all balances. He makes more $$ and pays bigger bills ( mortgage). I'm a great saver. It works for us!!!

 

[wgeo]

This thread is fascinating - I've never understood the seperate bank account thing in a marriage and people have given specific examples that works for them, that is very educating for me.

We've only been married 17 years, have always had a joint account, I made more the first few years while he finished school, but since then he has by far been the primary bread winner. I've always done all the financial stuff and like the OP,once a year we sit down and I try to give a full overview. My husband really pays attention and he is very clear on my secret hiding place that has all of the specific info on paying all of our online bills, I have no doubt he would be able to manage just fine if I were to have an untimely death.

Our biggest issue is that he grew up in a family that declared bankruptcy twice. We are very frugal and careful with our spending, we do not spend more just because we are making more to the extent that I have to remind him more than I can believe that it is perfectly fine for him to spend an extra $100 a month on coffee or books or whatever. It's almost like I need to convince him on a regular basis that all of our bases are covered. I'm sure that if I passed he would simply spend no money other then basic necessities, and end up leaving a ridiculous amount of money to our kids.

 

[Christine]

It is after 18 years as an officer and living in a high cost of living area (we get tax free housing and subsistence allowances totaling $4000/month in addition to his base pay).

When my husband served, he was enlisted. Obviously not that lucrative but they made so if I did have children I could have afforded to stay home. We've never really been able to do that in the private sector. The housing allowance and dependent plus up (not to mentioned free or affordable healthcare) are really worth their weight in gold.

 

[belle032]

We each have our own checking accounts and a joint savings account. We just got married a few months ago and needed an account to put our wedding money so that's why it was opened. My husband makes a little more than I do so he pays the mortgage and I pay all utilities. We each have our own car payments and I have student loans Reading this thread though, I realize I should probably walk him through what I pay and how I pay it every month. He's not computer savvy, doesn't know passwords etc. I think a quick lesson might help!

We are still a young couple with no kids (except our spoiled fur child) and no immediate plans for kids, if at all. We both have expensive hobbies, he races cars and I ride horses, but we do not spend what we don't already have. We know what we need & want to spend money on so we plan for it. For example, we NEED a vacation every year and we love cruising. We know that we need to budget for it so we do. I have become more frugal lately though. We've done little things like cancelled cable, switched car insurance providers, and planning a garage sale in the spring.

 

[tvguy]

This thread is fascinating - I've never understood the seperate bank account thing in a marriage and people have given specific examples that works for them, that is very educating for me.

We've only been married 17 years, have always had a joint account, I made more the first few years while he finished school, but since then he has by far been the primary bread winner. I've always done all the financial stuff and like the OP,once a year we sit down and I try to give a full overview. My husband really pays attention and he is very clear on my secret hiding place that has all of the specific info on paying all of our online bills, I have no doubt he would be able to manage just fine if I were to have an untimely death.

Our biggest issue is that he grew up in a family that declared bankruptcy twice. We are very frugal and careful with our spending, we do not spend more just because we are making more to the extent that I have to remind him more than I can believe that it is perfectly fine for him to spend an extra $100 a month on coffee or books or whatever. It's almost like I need to convince him on a regular basis that all of our bases are covered. I'm sure that if I passed he would simply spend no money other then basic necessities, and end up leaving a ridiculous amount of money to our kids.

In her Genealogical research my daughter uncovered a rather strange financial arrangement my Grandfather setup in his will. When he died, everything went into a trust. My Grandmother, with 2 minor children, got no money. The trust administrator had to approve any financial requests in advance, and then pay the bills. All these expenditures had to be then filed with the court. Right down to a loaf of bread. All on microfilm today at the California Secretary of State's Office today.

 

[DLgal]

When my husband served, he was enlisted. Obviously not that lucrative but they made so if I did have children I could have afforded to stay home. We've never really been able to do that in the private sector. The housing allowance and dependent plus up (not to mentioned free or affordable healthcare) are really worth their weight in gold.

It really is. The free healthcare is gold. Not to mention the multi million dollar retirement pension value...and continuation of extremely low cost healthcare for life.

We are very grateful for the fact that we can afford for me to be a SAHM. I have never once complained that my husband is underpaid.

 

[olliesmom]

DH and I have joint accounts, but apart from his credit card (which he pays from our joint account) I manage all of our finances. We sit down once a year, or whenever we have a significant change in our income, to set a detailed monthly budget and then I manage the budget, savings, investments etc. DH has his own budget category for discretionary spending as do I, and we both stick to that amount for our "pocket money." It works well for us and I can't remember ever having a fight over money. We are both savers and similarly value being debt-free, so that keeps things peaceful.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

This is my plan in a couple years when my kids hopefully will be mature enough to be left home alone for a few hours (or all day when they are sick). I plan to start as a substitute 1:1 aide, then move to a permanent position. At this time, my younger son (11) has a mental age of about 6 and absolutely cannot be left home alone for any period of time. I have to wait until my kids are more independent because I won't make enough to justify paying for any kind of babysitting/supervision. As it stands, it is pointless to take a minimum wage retail part time job (20 hrs/week) during the school year. That would barely bring in what I make at my seasonal work from home job, after taxes are taken into account.

My other hurdle is severe IBS and migraines. If it isn't one of those, it's the other, it seems. I have to "bow out" of previous engagements a LOT. That's not so conducive to working outside the home.

Ok how about another idea. I heard some law firms hire people to work from home. You read their opening statements for court cases and tell them if it made you believe them or not trust etc.

 

[Marchand63]

In our house we have figured our system. My income is higher

He pays the bills, cause he is OCD that if a bill comes on Tuesday it is paid on Wednesday. On the other hand I keep all the records of what is paid, since he will just stack paperwork on the desk for months.

We have both joint and separate accounts. Household - joint, Vacation - me, Christmas - him, 2 savings accounts - one joint & one mine.

His income pays the bills, my income pays the play.

 

[rodeo65]

Our roles have flipped over our 19 years of marriage. Initially we were both working and earning fairly equal pay. We both had an issue with spending and a a result never had savings. We discussed finances and I handled bill payments. We had both wanted me to stay home with our kids when they were young, so those years were very tight. When they reached school age, I went back to work - two jobs, and DH started a business. By this point I was basically handling finances, since I paid the bills and he was focused on growing his business.

There was a three year period where I home schooled our kids and worked part time from home as well. I continued to handle all day to day finances and by this time he was in a position to start looking at investments. He would "pay" me what I needed for the bills and he'd invest the rest. Over the past couple of years the kids have gone back out to school, and I was laid off. We were in a position that we could handle the loss of my income, but we'd have a lot more discretionary income if I worked. He works from home and relies on me to manage everything around him, so really doesn't want me working and I have not been able to replace my work from home gig.

Since he is the sole breadwinner at this time, he has started asking more about finances and wanting more budget "discussions." This annoys me. He was fine with me handling it all along, but now questions things more. It makes me feel like he thinks I've been unsuccessful managing the bills all these years. We've discussed this extensively, and that's not his feeling but it is my initial knee jerk reaction when I'm questioned. I get that he's beginning to think about the years after the kids leave home and what our future will look like - not retirement as he loves what he does and never plans to retire. Overall he's happy with the way things are handled. I just get a little resentful that for almost 20 years I've never been questioned (and in fact there were years he actively didn't want to discuss it - I was just handling things) and now I am. But as things have always evolved with us over the years, I'm sure this is again something that will change again as we go on.