Parenting Fails - what's your story?!

[Lilacs4Me]

OK - I had a terrible night with my kids last night and need to hear other people's less-than-stellar parenting moments. No judging or mean comments on anyone's stories please...this is meant to be a lighthearted-ish post about times we lost it or made a mistake and wish we had done better.

Parents are not perfect. Kids are not perfect. Especially at 11:00pm when woken up by teens siblings who were told NICELY ahead of time to please come back quietly from their late night ice cream run, and to please make sure they lock the backdoor and keep the lights off because I would be sleeping and needed to wake up at 5am for the beginning of a likely 70-80 hour work-week this week. DH is out of town this week and I don't sleep well when he is gone as it is.

Kids: 0
Lights on, wide-open backdoor, and yelling back and forth to each other: 1

I don't think I've ever lost my...stuff, like I did last night. I am pretty sure the whole neighborhood heard me, my kids now think I'm mentally unstable lol, and I'm pretty sure I told my newly-graduated nearly-18 year old at some point in my tirade that if he can't respect my house and my rules he is old enough to find somewhere else to live (so to top it off, I officially turned into MY parents last night, too! , and the threat is completely ridiculous as DS will be leaving for college in like 3 weeks anyway lol)

Sigh. I just want to be the mom who is super-calm and understanding. My poor kids got stuck with a crazy person.

I apologized profusely to all three of them for losing it lol and they still love me. But man do I feel like a jerk today!

Please top me so I can laugh and not feel so bad!

 

[mjkacmom]

Way too many to list! Recently ds complained of a stomach ache, I licked him up from school. He asked to go to the doctor, I told him I would take him after 3, because I needed to drive his sister to work. 20 m8nutes later he begged again, took him to urgent care, who sent us to the ER, and after all the testing, u/s and ct scan, discovered his appendix had ruptured. Mom of the year.

 

[lovin'fl]

Oh, I have had many many bad moments. I am not afraid to admit. One of my worst...
DS was about 4. His twin sisters were 2. I was SAHM and DH was working a demanding job that meant he was not a huge help. DS didn't like to stay in his bed. I would put all kids to bed at like 9pm. DDs still in cribs and they'd go to sleep fine. But DS would continually come out until like 11pm or so. DH would be sound asleep. DDs would wake at like 6am. So I wanted to get him in bed at 9...wind down and clean up until 10 and then be off to sleep myself. But nope. Was dealing with DS until 11 and then have to clean up. Got tired of it. Tried to ween him by laying in his bed with him. Reading to him. Then slowly after a few days would move to floor next to him and then by the door and then outside the door. But it wouldn't work. He would still come our. Tried the baby proof knob covers to which he learned to whack it off with a toy. And he would be mad and throwing things around his room. At my whits end one night, I took his fave video tape, this was 2001, and told him to go back to bed and stay or I'd break the tape. He refused so I pulled the tape out of the cartridge and warned I would move on to the next fave video. He cried and looked so sad...but he got his little butt back in bed and stopped getting out at night.

A neighbor with a 3 year old doing the same thing just asked me what I did to keep my kids from getting out of bed. I would not tell her this story. Just said it kinda stopped one day.

 

[lovin'fl]

Way too many to list! Recently ds complained of a stomach ache, I licked him up from school. He asked to go to the doctor, I told him I would take him after 3, because I needed to drive his sister to work. 20 m8nutes later he begged again, took him to urgent care, who sent us to the ER, and after all the testing, u/s and ct scan, discovered his appendix had ruptured. Mom of the year.

It's hard to know when they might fake or over dramatize things and you're busy. My DDs senior year, she was doing daycare at school for a class and little kids had lice. She said she thought she caught it. I looked and didn't see anything. She kept saying she swore she had it, her head was super itchy. I thought she was being paranoid. Then 3 weeks later she runs out of shower with a bug on her fingertip. It was a dang big lice and her head was full of them, like hundreds and big giant ones. It was now about 10 days before prom. I spent 2 hours a night for a week combing through her long hair (to just above her butt) and washing and cleaning things. While preparing for prom and graduation and packing for a move. And finishing softball season. It was miserable but might not have been such an infestation if I listened from the get go.

 

[Klayfish]

Oh jeez...I'll get a cramp in my hands trying to type it all out...just for last week...

 

[AP1209]

Too many to type but I yelled at one of the kids last week and realized I turned into my father. That was scary.

 

[Diznotyzed]

Older daughter comes running to me crying and shows me the teeth marks where younger daughter bit her. I then yell at and punish younger daughter. Older daughter admits years later that she bit herself just to get sister in trouble.

 

[china mom]

Way too many to list! Recently ds complained of a stomach ache, I licked him up from school. He asked to go to the doctor, I told him I would take him after 3, because I needed to drive his sister to work. 20 m8nutes later he begged again, took him to urgent care, who sent us to the ER, and after all the testing, u/s and ct scan, discovered his appendix had ruptured. Mom of the year.

Nope, you are only runner up.

DS was two, complaining of pain but not verbal enough to explain. Vomiting and fever. I ignored it for a couple of days then finally took him to the nighttime pediatrics where a Medical Doctor sent us home with a flu diagnosis.

Next morning, took him to the nurse practitioner who immediately diagnosed him with a hot appendix. Turned out it was a perforated appendix and he was so infected that he spend 8 days at Children's Hospital on IV antibiotics after an emergency appendectomy.

 

[china mom]

Then there was the time I lost my four year old son in China....

 

[indimom]

Way too many to list! Recently ds complained of a stomach ache, I licked him up from school. He asked to go to the doctor, I told him I would take him after 3, because I needed to drive his sister to work. 20 m8nutes later he begged again, took him to urgent care, who sent us to the ER, and after all the testing, u/s and ct scan, discovered his appendix had ruptured. Mom of the year.

We left our 16yo daughter home from school with a stomachache and went to work. She called a couple hours later saying she couldn't get off the couch. DH took her to the ER: ruptured appendix also. I was in nursing school at the time.

But my BFF has us both beat: Her 12yo son was whining about his stomach ache, saying he was dying, and she told him to "go die in another room, I can't hear my show." An hour later they were in the ER as well, and he got his appendix removed that night. (In her defense, he is a bit of a hypochondriac and tends to dramatize every little ache or pain.)

When our daughter was about 3, we went out to eat. We ordered her milk and it came in a small carton (like the school lunch). We opened it and popped the straw in, and gave it to her. She took a drink and said it tasted funny. We told her to drink her milk. She dutifully took another drink, and said she didn't want it. We looked a little closer and noticed chunks on the inside of the straw. Checked the date and it was WAYYYYYY out of date. I hate milk in the first place, so this one really gets me...

 

[mjkacmom]

It's hard to know when they might fake or over dramatize things and you're busy. My DDs senior year, she was doing daycare at school for a class and little kids had lice. She said she thought she caught it. I looked and didn't see anything. She kept saying she swore she had it, her head was super itchy. I thought she was being paranoid. Then 3 weeks later she runs out of shower with a bug on her fingertip. It was a dang big lice and her head was full of them, like hundreds and big giant ones. It was now about 10 days before prom. I spent 2 hours a night for a week combing through her long hair (to just above her butt) and washing and cleaning things. While preparing for prom and graduation and packing for a move. And finishing softball season. It was miserable but might not have been such an infestation if I listened from the get go.

Ds has a very high pain tolerance, and to make things worse, I had appendicitis 6 months ago, and had the same exact symptoms, except he didn’t have a fever. It happened to be a very stressful week, I hadn’t even showered yet that day, and I was in denial (by the time we were in the examination room at urgent care, I knew I made the wrong call not going right to the hospital). The good news was because I knew there was a 99% chance it was his appendix, I took him to a hospital a little farther away but with an amazing pediatric department, and they treated the rupture with heavy duty IV antibiotics and sent him home 3 days later (apparently brand new protocol if it can’t be drained).

 

[ShirikiUtundu]

"go die in another room, I can't hear my show."

That is something my Mom totally would have said.

 

[Hikergirl]

Most recent was last night.
My ds uninvited me to his HS graduation. Then he decided he wasn’t going at all, so I told him he owes me $40 for his cap and gown then. He called me “disgusting” as he handed me the money.
Not going to lie, I really wish he was going away to college

 

[superme80]

Just got into a yelling match with my 9 year old regarding him beating up his 4 year old brother. In my oldest's defense, my youngest is a jerk, but he knows better! I said some very non Disney friendly words trying to get my point across.

 

[mjkacmom]

Most recent was last night.
My ds uninvited me to his HS graduation. Then he decided he wasn’t going at all, so I told him he owes me $40 for his cap and gown then. He called me “disgusting” as he handed me the money.
Not going to lie, I really wish he was going away to college

I absolutely would’ve asked for the money! Ds20 insisted on taking an AP exam I knew he wasn’t going to study for, so I let him sign up, but told him he would be paying me back if he didn’t at least a 4. He paid me back.

 

[StephMK]

Is it wrong that I am giggling at these? OP, I have had my shares of meltdowns towards the kids and we have are quietly counting days to peace when DD goes to college later this summer!

I have too many instances to remember though my kids have no issues rattling them off.

The most notable was the time I “let” DS,then 8, walk around for 1.5 weeks with a broken bone in his foot. In my defense, he just jumped off 2 steps onto carpet. He alternated between complaining and walking/jumping around like normal. It was not a major bone (outer foot) and the dr said it was already healing.

We also didn’t believe him at age 13 when he came in the house, claiming he was dying. We did take him to urgent care and he had 2 treatments for anaphylatic shock for a now confirmed shellfish allergy.

I blame third kid syndrome and years of dealing with his hypochondriac sister for our relaxed attitude.

 

[amberpi]

I've been thrown into it, and fail multiple times a day. Literally, I can say something and don't even have to look at my DH to know I screwed it up.

Today I spent 4 hours trying to find something (not sure I even now have the right product) I didn't know was a special thing on Amazon for the boy child's swim lesson. Did I mention I still don't know if I have the correct product?

 

[Neesy228]

I have two teenage sons and one 12 year old daughter, so my list is long, but the most recent:

After a very long and completely unreasonable argument, my 15 year old angrily declared that he hated me, our family and I never did anything for him....

I just snapped and freakishly turned into my mother. I was screaming at the top of my lungs (with all of the windows open in the house, so I’m sure the neighbors are worried now) that if he hated his life in my house so much then he could go find a new place to live and support himself. Then I proceeded to list all of the things I was going to stop paying for: his phone, hockey, clothing and that I would be selling his PS4 and computer on eBay....then I ended my insane rant by storming out and slamming the front door of my own house.

He came out to the front porch about 20 minutes later and sat down next to me and just said, “well, that was interesting. Feel better now?”

 

[lovin'fl]

This is a great thread. So many things I can relate to (everything really). And nice to see parents admitting failures. Not often folks do that. It really does help make you feel like you are a normal average parent and not some epic failure.

 

[KelNChrisKYDis]

One of my favorites was when I picked my son up at preschool when he was about 2, and he complained he was hungry. I told him to hang in there, we had to make a quick stop and then home for dinner. He whined and whined and I couldn't get him to stop complaining, so I turned the music up. After a few minutes, I turned the music down to ask him a question and heard him quietly munching away. Only I hadn't given him anything to eat.

He had found an old (God only knows how old!) school project in the seat next to him with Cheerios glued to construction paper, and had eaten most of the Cheerios. I turned around to stop him and he just smiled... "I found a snack. I not hungry anymore." God touch him, lolol.