Mother of the groom dress advice

OMG! We have similar MILs. Mine wore white. She told me it was off white, but her suit dress was as white as mine. At the end of the reception, she shrugged and said, "I guess we have to share him now." lol

After 10 years of being married to her son, we finally started to get along. I guess she figured that I wasn't going anywhere. It'll be 25 years for us in April. :love:
Seventeen years in, my MIL stopped talking to me. And I mean totally stopped.
 
I never had any input as to what my mum, MIL and Step-MIL wore to our wedding. I would much rather them be comfortable in what they wore, something of their own choosing. I got to see their choices, all were different colours in the Blue/ purple range. Both DH grandmothers and my Nana wore purple dresses. All looked lovely for photos. The only outfits i had any say in were the bridesmaids. I chose the colour for my bridesmaids dresses, (royal blue). I also paid for their dresses and shoes out of my dress budget.
 
Are both mothers wearing beige??

I was initially told I would be wearing an off the shoulder orange dress chosen by the DIL and her mom.
Because of my peculiar size and shape, I politely declined and waited until after bride's mom chose her color then ordered up dresses from Nordstrom, picked the best fit and returned the rest (free shipping both directions).

Good luck OP!

Wait, you were told that you would be wearing a specific dress chosen by them?
You are a better person than me because I will not politely decline that demand from either of my ds's bride to be.
Of course I'm hoping all my kids choose to elope, too much drama surrounds weddings.
 


My future DIL has told me to wear what I feel comfortable in. I ordered my dress from Nordstrom Rack. I ordered a few to see what fit best and then returned the others to a local Nordstrom Rack.

Great prices on great dresses!

I am happy to oblige any of her wishes for THEIR wedding, whether I like it or not. It is their wedding, not mine with their own visions and dreams. We had ours 35 years ago. I still remember the most irritating thing even back 35 years ago was everyone trying to impose their visions of the perfect wedding on me.
 
Last edited:
If the girls are wearing burgundy with gold accents, your DIL probably just wants something that coordinates and couldn't think of anything else that was just bland. Actually since burgundy is a dark color, could you take a burgundy fabric sample with you and show her some other possible colors that might work better? Beige will stand out against burgundy instead of fading you into the background, which is what you'd both probably prefer. How about deep brown or black with some gold accents, either in the dress or as jewelry? I usually don't care for brown, but my sister-in-law wore a brown gown threaded in gold to her daughter's wedding, and it was stunning. Anyway, both brown or black have to be better than beige.
 


Both my mom and my MIL were pretty insistent that I provide them lots of guidance when they were picking out dresses, I gave a few color families that I thought would look good and then my MIL waited until my mom chose her dress. My mom ended up wearing this beautiful 'bronze' colored dress that looked absolutely amazing on her and in photos, and my MIL went with navy.

Personally, I don't like blue with the red bridesmaid dresses, unless going for a patriotic theme, but that's me and my own hangup, I am sure others find that combo quite lovely. From what I remember with my last trip to David's bridal they had the dresses in different sections by color, so even if you don't purchase from there it might be good to check one out and see what styles they have and all the different colors available. Good luck finding a dress!!!!
 
I really don't understand the hang up on choosing what someone else wears to a wedding. Yes, it's your day, and you can choose whatever flowers, table aetting, location, food, etc, and I don't care. But to actually say what color or pick the actual dress that someone else wears...

At my dad's wedding a couple years ago, my step-mom insisted my grandmother wear an orange and white sleeveless dress she found. Grandma was not a fan of the color (and she normally loves bold and bought) and detested having her upper arms shown, but she wore it anyway. My dad (and all the men in the wedding party) wore jeans and tees. DD (5 at the time) was flower girl and SM wanted her to wear a white very fancy floor length dress that made her itch, in July, and their wedding was in their muddy front yard. I told Dad I wasnt going to make her wear something she wasnt comfortable in and he said she could wear what she wanted. She chose an above-the-knee dressy, but child-friendly purple dress that went great with their color scheme of purple and orange.
 
I can sort of understanding picking out colors. I'm sure it's for the photos. I got married a long time ago where we just didn't pay that much attention to stuff like that and, I'll be honest, the family photos with the bridal party have the parents standing out oddly. I mean, the pics are fine, but I can see the beauty of having everyone be in some complimentary clothing. We had lots of professional family photos done at the wedding and I see the benefit of this. I'm sure that's all it is. But there's a line on how far to go with this and if what you pick makes someone uncomfortable, you should be sensitive to that. Honestly, I'd be ticked off if I was forced to wear a sleeveless dress. I don't believe in showing your arms unless they are FABULOUS and "mom's" arms usually are not!
 
When I got married I remember showing my mom and MIL the dresses that we'd picked for bridesmaid dresses (my sister and DH's sister were both bridesmaids) and they picked something that would coordinate. I think that's pretty standard around here, but I am pretty shocked at how many people are told a specific color or even have the dress chosen for them! I mean, I guess if I was the MOG (and I likely will be one day), I'd probably go with it because I wouldn't want to make waves over something like a dress, but it seems a little Bridezilla to me.
 
When my eldest dd got married a few years ago, she and dsil had their plans for overall color scheme and how they wanted their wedding to look. It was spring and they wanted a muted color pallet with softer colors, blush, taupe, light gold accents, etc. Dsil's mother decided she didn't like that idea and tried to change the colors to very bold ones several times, like when we were shopping for bridesmaid dresses. Three days before the wedding she returned a very pretty soft looking navy dress and bought an electric blue prom dress with large AB crystals (yes, from the prom section!) and had her daughter wear a bright purple satin dress. Needless to say, they stood out in the pictures but not in a good way.

There's always a way to compromise and I think sticking with an overall tone is important, especially if it's what the bride and groom envision for their day. I think a navy dress can compliment burgundy and gold and you can wear gold accents. If your corsage has burgundy in it then you should be fine. Navy is considered a neutral.
 
I am good with some coordination!!!

I do think that with the black tuxes being the biggest color factor, that blue would really stand out / clash.
And, the bride was probably going for something more neutral to coordinate.
I can't see how beige would ever stand out. ( I believe that is what is behind the "MIL wears beige" thing!!!!!)

OP, I have a suggestion.... to go with the color that I am thinking is a dark burgundy, how about a lighter color in that color family???
And, I would still be happy if I could find a nice dress that flatters, in a beige color.

Here is a nice dress in an interesting color. Called Petal.
It does have a lot of sequins.. and on this website, they only have two small sizes. But, just some different ideas to consider...
macys.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-draped-back-sequined-gown?ID=2916270&CategoryID=203153&swatchColor=Petal&swatchColor=Petal#fn=COLOR%3DPink%3B%3BPurple%26SIZE%3D%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D805%26ruleId%3D78|BOOST ATTRIBUTE%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D3

And, here is one in a color called Rose Gold.
macys.com/shop/product/nightway-sequined-lace-slit-gown?ID=6160927&CategoryID=203153&swatchColor=Rose%2FGold#fn=COLOR%3DPink%3B%3BPurple%26SIZE%3D%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D151%26ruleId%3D78|BOOST ATTRIBUTE%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D51
 
Last edited:
Thats SAD!:(Doesn’t sounds like she is much of a planner, pulling one out of the closet same day of wedding? :eek::confused:
Quite the opposite. I’d bet it was an aggressive move that had been planned for quite some time. Her NOT shopping for a dress in the preceding weeks/months allowed her to show everybody just how little she cared about the wedding, how unimportant the bride and groom were to her. Just grabbing “whatever” from the closet the day of served two purposes. 1) Reinforcing how insignificant the whole thing was to her. 2) It got her the attention she wanted. She showed up in a dress that didn’t fit the color scheme (because no one’s going to tell her what to do), stood out from everyone else (a way to thumb her nose at the happy couple both on the day of and in perpetuity in the pictures), and because it was black, like one would wear to a funeral, it made clear how she felt about this wedding to everyone in attendance. I’d bet good money that black dress in her closet had been picked out in her mind from the very beginning.

Am I right, @MaryLovesPoohBear?
 
Black House/White Market often has beautiful champagne colored dresses. One of my favorites was from there and had black lace on it. Unfortunately, I've lost too much weight in my boobs *of course* so it's been in storage for a while now; strapless dresses that are too big on top are a liablity:)

Also, I didn't care nor suggest to either of my MILs what to wear, although both asked me and I said "something that makes you feel pretty." The second ended up looking like she was going to a funeral, (at both of my weddings the moms all wore black, but they were pretty and festive, not like this dress) but it was no skin off my nose, just made my beautiful momma look even better.
 
OMG!!!! Now it is the 'more beautiful mom' thing!!!!
My son's girlfriend's mom is 20 years younger, 20 pounds lighter, and much more photogenic than I am.
UGGGGHHHH!!!!!
Hahahaha!!!!!
 
The traditional practice is for the MOB to have first choice of color, and then the MOG is notified of what it is so that she does not choose the same color. All-white or all-black ensembles are also traditionally considered inappropriate. This is honestly the first time that I've ever heard of a bride trying to tell the MOG what TO wear, rather than what not to wear.

Oh well, better than the MIL of one of my relatives. This lady lives on a farm in a very cold climate, and she literally did not own anything but jeans and plaid flannel shirts. She arrived for the February wedding with nothing at all appropriate to wear. Her attempted compromise outfit was a pale blue gingham-print flannel bathrobe. :eek: Someone in the family took her shopping, but she still picked something that wasn't nearly formal enough for the occasion, and it was still plaid.
 
I am good with some coordination!!!

I do think that with the black tuxes being the biggest color factor, that blue would really stand out / clash.
And, the bride was probably going for something more neutral to coordinate.
I can't see how beige would ever stand out. ( I believe that is what is behind the "MIL wears beige" thing!!!!!)

OP, I have a suggestion.... to go with the color that I am thinking is a dark burgundy, how about a lighter color in that color family???
And, I would still be happy if I could find a nice dress that flatters, in a beige color.

Here is a nice dress in an interesting color. Called Petal.
It does have a lot of sequins.. and on this website, they only have two small sizes. But, just some different ideas to consider...
macys.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-draped-back-sequined-gown?ID=2916270&CategoryID=203153&swatchColor=Petal&swatchColor=Petal#fn=COLOR%3DPink%3B%3BPurple%26SIZE%3D%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D805%26ruleId%3D78|BOOST ATTRIBUTE%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D3

And, here is one in a color called Rose Gold.
macys.com/shop/product/nightway-sequined-lace-slit-gown?ID=6160927&CategoryID=203153&swatchColor=Rose%2FGold#fn=COLOR%3DPink%3B%3BPurple%26SIZE%3D%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D151%26ruleId%3D78|BOOST ATTRIBUTE%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D51

That second dress is fire! It’s why beige shouldn’t always be vilified.

Also, thinking your mom looks amazing, while 10 years older is ok. She did look beautiful. She was happy. MIL looked like - well, the way she looks.
 
Last edited:

GET A DISNEY VACATION QUOTE

Dreams Unlimited Travel is committed to providing you with the very best vacation planning experience possible. Our Vacation Planners are experts and will share their honest advice to help you have a magical vacation.

Let us help you with your next Disney Vacation!





Latest posts

Top