Wedding Invitation Etiquette with Galaxy's Edge Opening

[madqueen]

I need your help, Disers! My fiancee and I have a wonderful wedding planned for the beginning of October at the Wedding Pavilion (so excited). But I have a bit of a problem... I had originally thought that Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge wouldn't be opening until after our wedding. When they announced it was opening in late August, I started to freak out a little. I don't have nearly enough rooms blocked off for my wedding guests. The problem is I have NO IDEA how many are coming or where they'd want to stay. Seriously, it could be 70, it could be 170! Most of them are cousins of my fiancee who he has no relationship with, but I've spoken to some people who I didn't think would be coming and told me they are, so I don't feel comfortable just assuming they won't come. We have already sent out save the dates with our info and wedding website on them, and the wedding website has made clear how vital it will be to book rooms ASAP and asks them where they're thinking about staying (as we currently only have Pop Century booked) but it being so early, only one of my very close cousins has booked rooms and two people have let us know they'd like to stay at The Contemporary. I've tried making a facebook group and asking them where they'd want to stay and who already knew they were coming, but though most people I invited joined the group, only my fiancees' sister answered. My worry is most of them haven't even looked at the website and are waiting until they receive the wedding invitation to make plans or really start thinking about it. Of course they don't know that Disney isn't like a normal wedding or even a normal destination wedding, us Disney fans are rabid and plan vacations far in advance, and with Galaxy's Edge opening, this will make Disney people plan for their October vacations even further in advance! So my question is would it be terrible to send out invitations soon, like six months in advance, with a two week RSVP deadline so people will make sure they actually have rooms booked? I know etiquette usually dictates 8 weeks for a regular wedding and three months for a destination wedding, but I feel like my wedding's circumstances would be special. I'd really hate for my guests to not be able to book rooms. Any advice? Thanks in advance!

 

[SoccerDogWithEars]

While I am the typical Disney fan and generally have my vacations planned out almost a year in advance, most people don't plan like that. IMO, it's simply not feasible to expect your guests to plan that far out, especially since you never know what circumstances could come up to change their plans.

That being said, I also don't think it is your responsibility to make sure everyone has rooms. I'd book a rough estimate of rooms at the resort of your choosing, tell your guests "We have a block of rooms at X Resort" and leave it at that. If they choose to stay elsewhere, that's on them. If they choose to wait until last minute and can't find a room, that's also on them. You have enough on your plate planning the wedding, let the guests handle their own reservations.

Just my two cents.

 

[lurkyloo]

THIS^^ ... I mean, you could try mailing a newsletter with all this info in it so they can't say you didn't warn them, but wedding guests are notorious for ignoring all info directed at them prior to the wedding. Maybe if it was one sheet, very simple with the main bullet points on it:

• Star Wars Land is opening early.
• We've set aside X number of room nights at X resorts.
• If these resorts sell out, Disney will try to place you in comparable accommodations, but it's not guaranteed.
• If you don't stay at our resorts, you'll need to get yourself to one of them on the wedding day to catch our motor coach (if applicable)

I would also consider getting cozy with an approved Disney travel agent and giving that person's contact info to your guests so that s/he can deal with all their travel questions instead of you.

 

[jerseygal]

My DS and DIL sent their wedding invitations 4 months in advance for their destination wedding weekend. Same issue, sent Save the Date, 8 months in advance, they had a website with all the information on it at 8 months, but we thought that when guests actually received the invitation more guests would then realize, "hey I have to make a hotel reservation". I worried a lot about the guests, but my son felt strongly that they provided all the information early, sent the invitations 4 months in advance and to quote him "it is on them now to make their reservations, they are adults". He felt that we all had too many wedding details and plans to wrap up. All worked out fine, seemed once the guests received the actual invitation, the guests were motivated to make their hotel reservation. GOOD LUCK, CONGRATS!

 

[madqueen]

My DS and DIL sent their wedding invitations 4 months in advance for their destination wedding weekend. Same issue, sent Save the Date, 8 months in advance, they had a website with all the information on it at 8 months, but we thought that when guests actually received the invitation more guests would then realize, "hey I have to make a hotel reservation". I worried a lot about the guests, but my son felt strongly that they provided all the information early, sent the invitations 4 months in advance and to quote him "it is on them now to make their reservations, they are adults". He felt that we all had too many wedding details and plans to wrap up. All worked out fine, seemed once the guests received the actual invitation, the guests were motivated to make their hotel reservation. GOOD LUCK, CONGRATS!

Thanks for your reply! Did anyone have any negative comments about sending the invites out so early? I could see the same thing happening with our wedding; once they get the invite, they become aware that they actually need to make plans. I guess I just want to "get the ball out of my court" so to speak. Once I send the invite, if they don't make plans, that's on them. At that point I've done all I could. But if I send the invite out at the "socially acceptable" 3 month mark, and all the rooms are already gone, I won't be able to help but feel responsible that people aren't able to get rooms. My fiancee feels the same way as your son, that we have enough to worry about and it's on them. While I know they're right, I think that's easier to say for men lol!

 

[madqueen]

THIS^^ ... I mean, you could try mailing a newsletter with all this info in it so they can't say you didn't warn them, but wedding guests are notorious for ignoring all info directed at them prior to the wedding. Maybe if it was one sheet, very simple with the main bullet points on it:

• Star Wars Land is opening early.
• We've set aside X number of room nights at X resorts.
• If these resorts sell out, Disney will try to place you in comparable accommodations, but it's not guaranteed.
• If you don't stay at our resorts, you'll need to get yourself to one of them on the wedding day to catch our motor coach (if applicable)

I would also consider getting cozy with an approved Disney travel agent and giving that person's contact info to your guests so that s/he can deal with all their travel questions instead of you.

Thank you for your reply! YES they do seem to ignore things lol! That's a good idea, though I'm worried they'll ignore that too! Have you spoken to any other disney brides about how far in advance they sent out their invitations? How far in advance did you send yours? Myself and my immediate family have already made our room reservations of course, and it's freaking me out that we will already be able to make our dining reservations next month! I keep reading "three months for destination weddings" but Disney is so different, October is already one of the busiest times nowadays with Not So Scary and Food and Wine, I have no idea how Star Wars Land is going to add on to the madness!

 

[jerseygal]

Mad queen, no negative comments at all about receiving them at 4 months. We had a block of rooms set aside at a group rate and all went well! Wishing you the best of luck, very exciting!

 

[madqueen]

Mad queen, no negative comments at all about receiving them at 4 months. We had a block of rooms set aside at a group rate and all went well! Wishing you the best of luck, very exciting!

Thanks Jerseygal, that is encouraging!!! I'm hoping I can push it to five months without ruffling too many feathers! Thanks so much for your well-wishes!!!

 

[lurkyloo]

Thank you for your reply! YES they do seem to ignore things lol! That's a good idea, though I'm worried they'll ignore that too! Have you spoken to any other disney brides about how far in advance they sent out their invitations? How far in advance did you send yours? Myself and my immediate family have already made our room reservations of course, and it's freaking me out that we will already be able to make our dining reservations next month! I keep reading "three months for destination weddings" but Disney is so different, October is already one of the busiest times nowadays with Not So Scary and Food and Wine, I have no idea how Star Wars Land is going to add on to the madness!

It really runs the gamut. I have seen people send invitations out 4 months in advance for a Disney wedding. We sent our invitations out in November for our February wedding, but we'd sent also Save the Dates at 5 months out, when we booked. I don't think you'll offend anyone by sending invitations out early. But people STILL may not book or even RSVP in a timely fashion. I've been doing this more than 12 years, and most brides still end up tracking guests down individually to get their RSVPs.

Whatever you decide to do, at some point you have to relieve yourself of the responsibility for all your guests' plans or it will make you crazy. I remember being hyper-focused on this one couple who hadn't booked and hadn't booked and it was stressing me out. Eventually it turned out they HAD booked, months earlier, but it was outside our block, so we didn't know about it.

They are adults. You are going to give them all the tools they need to plan the best possible trip. If they don't book in time, that is THEIR problem. All you have to do is put on a great party for the people who do show up.

 

[Karin1984]

I've never been to a destination wedding, but if etiquette dictates 3 months, I would call them insane. The further away the destination, the earlier I would send invitations. Especially how far in the future weddings get planned, not just Disney, but regular weddings as well, I would want to know as soon as the couple has decided. My vacation time and vacation money is limited. I don't see how anyone could be offended. You are being considerate giving them time to arrange things.

Besides brides and stuffy aunts, who knows what the right etiquette is?

 

[madqueen]

It really runs the gamut. I have seen people send invitations out 4 months in advance for a Disney wedding. We sent our invitations out in November for our February wedding, but we'd sent also Save the Dates at 5 months out, when we booked. I don't think you'll offend anyone by sending invitations out early. But people STILL may not book or even RSVP in a timely fashion. I've been doing this more than 12 years, and most brides still end up tracking guests down individually to get their RSVPs.

Whatever you decide to do, at some point you have to relieve yourself of the responsibility for all your guests' plans or it will make you crazy. I remember being hyper-focused on this one couple who hadn't booked and hadn't booked and it was stressing me out. Eventually it turned out they HAD booked, months earlier, but it was outside our block, so we didn't know about it.

They are adults. You are going to give them all the tools they need to plan the best possible trip. If they don't book in time, that is THEIR problem. All you have to do is put on a great party for the people who do show up.

Thank you for your thoughtful answers, it means so much to me! You have calmed my nerves. I tend to micro-manage and be type A but if I don't learn how to let go I think all my hair will fall out by the time I actually get married LOL! There is so much pressure and judgement around weddings, I I have to learn how to let go and focus on what is actually my responsibility.

 

[madqueen]

I've never been to a destination wedding, but if etiquette dictates 3 months, I would call them insane. The further away the destination, the earlier I would send invitations. Especially how far in the future weddings get planned, not just Disney, but regular weddings as well, I would want to know as soon as the couple has decided. My vacation time and vacation money is limited. I don't see how anyone could be offended. You are being considerate giving them time to arrange things.

Besides brides and stuffy aunts, who knows what the right etiquette is?

Thank you so much for your reply! I feel the same way, actually. I think there are two types of people in this world, the planners and the non-planners. I have noticed that planners (like myself) tend to get stressed out when not given all the information ASAP so they can start making their plans ASAP, while the non-planners get stressed out and overwhelmed if they're given too much info too early and expected to make plans for the future. I have had friends of this type get stressed out with me when I try to make plans with them for the next day! So IMO this type doesn't work well with weddings, and even worse when it comes to Disney. Perhaps it's no coincidence that I've noticed Disney people tend to be planner types!! Not saying that planner type is better at all; I know myself to be overly rigid, anal, unable to let go of control and completely break down when things don't go according to plan, so like anything, there are pros and cons to both types. So I guess I'm just going to send them out early, seeing as I won't be able to please everyone anyway. At least then they'll know they have to start making plans, and if they don't it's on them, not me!

 

[FSU Girl]

I would recommend telling people a date before you actually have to drop rooms to get a sense of how many people aren't going to be booking anything. I would also call people and speak to them outside of the invitation to stress how important it is to book early because of Star Wars opening. People who don't go to Disney just won't get it and are going to book last minute.

 

[AnnaS]

My dd is getting married in November in Disney. We sent out the Save the Dates end of January I believe (or close to it). We also had on the Save the Date some wording to the effect that is recommended they book early. This was way before the Star Wars opening date. My side of the family is all booked - I think one or two of my dd friends need to book. Groom's side - not as many........I am not going to stress too much over this, too many other things to worry about.

Since it is all immediate family and a few close friends though - I will let the groom or his mom bring it up during one of their conversations.

Good luck and happy planning.

 

[Jocelynaus]

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[mumsy1955]

If I was going to be invited to a destination wedding I would like lots of notice ,so that I could have plenty of time to save up for it,the etiquette of time would not bother me at all,the sooner the better I think.Also I wouldn't expect the happy couple to sort out my accommodation ,they would have enough to do with wedding!

 

[madqueen]

Thanks so much everyone for all of your thoughts! I can't tell you how helpful it is to hear different people's views on this.