Kids sports/extra curriculars and $$$

[Lilacs4Me]

My 3 kids have played sports since they were about 3. They are currently 18, 14, and 13. We have opted not to go the travel route for many reasons, and have been perfectly happy with that decision. Other than football for our oldest, none of my kids have ever loved a sport enough that they would have wanted to play past high school, and even though DS18 was being sought after as a recruit, injuries knocked him out of that race anyway. I have never said no to an activity other than hockey, because of the costs coupled with the fact that the nearest rink is about 45 minutes away during rush hour and I wasn't willing to drive there just to pay thousands of $$ and be cold all the time.

Oldest: (dropped out of all "secondary sports" by middle school so he could focus on football and lacrosse) baseball, soccer, basketball, fencing, swimming, wrestling, - all rec, all cost anywhere between $50-150/session or season. This was in the early 2000's, and we lived in a very rural area at the time. He also did track his freshman year of HS, for $150+track shoes.

Football - 2nd grade- 12th grade
$150 for the first couple seasons, equipment included other than mouthguard and cleats.
~$250 for the middle youth years
$375.00/ea for the last couple of seasons, but by then we moved to a much more expensive area.
$395/ea for a few college summer overnight football camps
$60-$100/ea for several 1-day showcases and clinics
$200 for each year of HS football for the schools pay-to-play
$200/year for each summer "training camp" the high school ran
$30 for orthodontic mouthguards, $15 for regular

Lacrosse - started as a HS sophomore
$150 for each year of HS lacrosse since it was the 2nd sport of the school year. Equipment was either provided or DS borrowed it from a LAX friend.
$70-$100 each year (min) since he was 5 for outgrown or worn-out cleats for whatever sport he was playing at the time

DD14: (dropped out of everything but cheer and lacrosse by about 7th grade) dance, gymnastics, swimming, tumbling class, softball, basketball, soccer - all between $50-150/session to $130/month for dance and gymnastics, $50-75 for each dance costume for recitals.

Cheer - 1st-8th grade
rec level competitive cheer+sideline cheer for the league's football games - $140-$395/season, plus competition fees, competition shoes, event t-shirts, bows, jackets, backpacks, etc. Ranged anywhere from $5.00 for a new bow to $100 per competition, total of about $300-$500 for the "extras" each season. No travel, thank goodness.
$60 for each year of Middle School basketball cheer, and she used her competition shoes from the previous cheer season. Bows, spanks, and t-shirts,etc were extra, a total of about $100 each year.

Lacrosse - 6th grade-current
$200 for each youth lacrosse season, no travel. Equipment was provided but DD didn't like the ugly orange sticks/goggles, so we bought her her own, total of about $150
$200 pay to play for HS lacrosse. She is using the same stick and goggles she used in youth.
$175 for an off-season league her HS coach wants the girls to play in.
$80 for summer conditioning camp the HS runs
$50-$100 every time we have to replace cleats.
$30 orthodontic mouthguards, $15 for regular

DS13: (dropped out of everything but football and lacrosse by 3rd grade) baseball, soccer, basketball, swimming - all rec, all cost anywhere between $50-150/session or season.

Football: 5 years old-current
$375 each season, equipment included other than mouthguard and cleats.
FREE!! Youth camp skills and drills spring academy put on by the HS coaches, DH coaches the camp so DS goes for free. It would be $90

Lacrosse - 5th grade-current
FREE!!! He is a goalie, and goalies play for free in our league. All equipment is provided. We buy cleats and mouthguard, same as above. He has been invited to be a guest goalie on many travel teams and that is always free. He did a 6-week game-only indoor league once that was also free. When he gets to HS, he will pay the $200 pay-to-play fee like everyone else, but for now we are just enjoying the savings. We do make a $100 donation to the league every year just to say thanks.
$80 summer conditioning and skills camp the HS runs for 7th and 8th graders.

 

[soccerdad72]

Everyone's situations are going to be different, depending on the sport, your finances and the desire of the kid in question.

For us, it's a matter of making sure our boys still love what they're doing, along with how far their talent (and willingness to put in the work) will take them. We have always tended to limit our kids to one 'serious' sport (in our case, both chose soccer), but encouraged them to do other things, mostly so they didn't get burnt out. Yes, it can get expensive. Fortunately, finances aren't an issue for us. And with one son off to college in the fall, we won't have to worry as much about splitting up to go to two different locations anymore.

 

[sam_gordon]

For us, it's a matter of making sure our boys still love what they're doing, along with how far their talent (and willingness to put in the work) will take them.

I think the bolded is key. DS and DD both play travel soccer. DS is at a higher level than DD. His club assessments are higher and the trips are further away (he just got back from Germany with the state team). But he's more talented than DD and is more "into" the sport than DD.

Is it a lot of money? Yes. For this year (we're trying to track it), it would easily cover a family vacation to WDW. But it's something they enjoy doing, and DS is hoping to continue playing in college.

 

[Klayfish]

Everyone's situations are going to be different, depending on the sport, your finances and the desire of the kid in question.

For us, it's a matter of making sure our boys still love what they're doing, along with how far their talent (and willingness to put in the work) will take them. We have always tended to limit our kids to one 'serious' sport (in our case, both chose soccer), but encouraged them to do other things, mostly so they didn't get burnt out. Yes, it can get expensive. Fortunately, finances aren't an issue for us. And with one son off to college in the fall, we won't have to worry as much about splitting up to go to two different locations anymore.

I think the bolded is key. DS and DD both play travel soccer. DS is at a higher level than DD. His club assessments are higher and the trips are further away (he just got back from Germany with the state team). But he's more talented than DD and is more "into" the sport than DD.

Is it a lot of money? Yes. For this year (we're trying to track it), it would easily cover a family vacation to WDW. But it's something they enjoy doing, and DS is hoping to continue playing in college.

I agree with both of these. Not really going to get into the "let's all whip out our wallets and compare" thing (I've mentioned costs in previous posts), but only will echo the sentiment that it's very expensive. However, everyone's situation is different on many levels, so how you feel about the cost may be unique to you. Personally, no matter the talent of the kid, I think the costs are absurd...but I'm cheap. I'm very thankful we have the resources to be able to do what we do and feel bad for some that can't even if their kids have talent.

Our kids run the spectrum of talent levels...from advanced well beyond their age to barely good enough for their age. However, call me wrong, but I don't really care if they're going to play in college or professional or not. That's not why they're in this. They are in it for fun, education, activity, etc...and the chips will fall where they may. I have zero concerns what happens after high school.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

Everyone's situations are going to be different, depending on the sport, your finances and the desire of the kid in question.

For us, it's a matter of making sure our boys still love what they're doing, along with how far their talent (and willingness to put in the work) will take them. We have always tended to limit our kids to one 'serious' sport (in our case, both chose soccer), but encouraged them to do other things, mostly so they didn't get burnt out. Yes, it can get expensive. Fortunately, finances aren't an issue for us. And with one son off to college in the fall, we won't have to worry as much about splitting up to go to two different locations anymore.

That is our exact philosophy too. The kid has to want it more for themselves than we want it for them, or we won't invest our time OR money. I will not put a kid in a travel sport if they cry and complain about going to practice for a rec team!

Also, as I stated above, my kids have tried pretty much every mainstream sport out there at one time or another, but (with very few exceptions) we have held to the rule that they can only play one sport seriously, at a time. We stressed the importance of being 100% committed to the FIRST team you signed up for, and never wanted scheduling conflicts with another sport to interfere with their first commitment. Time, practice, natural skill, body type, pixie dust in the womb, etc...have all contributed to my kids naturally scaling back to what they did best in, and they happily left behind the other sports to pursue the one/two that they loved the most.

DS18 started college last fall, and I still miss seeing him out on the football/lax field He had too many injuries to deal with to be able to go on to play college ball. Enjoy these last months of HS and good luck to your son!

 

[soccerdad72]

I think the bolded is key. DS and DD both play travel soccer. DS is at a higher level than DD. His club assessments are higher and the trips are further away (he just got back from Germany with the state team). But he's more talented than DD and is more "into" the sport than DD.

Is it a lot of money? Yes. For this year (we're trying to track it), it would easily cover a family vacation to WDW. But it's something they enjoy doing, and DS is hoping to continue playing in college.

My sons are at different talent levels as well. My younger son is farther along at his age right now (13) than his older brother was. My older son knew early on that high school was as far as he wanted to go (even after lettering as a freshman), but my younger son is thinking he might want to play in college (it's way too early to know if that will be the case). But my younger son has been playing with club teams since he was 8 and my older son really didn't start taking things that seriously until 12 or so.

And yeah, we've tried tracking the expenses over time and I'm sure I've detailed them out in the past on threads like these. Again, fortunately it hasn't become a financial issue for us.

 

[sam_gordon]

Our kids run the spectrum of talent levels...from advanced well beyond their age to barely good enough for their age. However, call me wrong, but I don't really care if they're going to play in college or professional or not. That's not why they're in this. They are in it for fun, education, activity, etc...and the chips will fall where they may. I have zero concerns what happens after high school.

Let me clarify... neither child is participating BECAUSE we're trying to get them in college. IMO, that's the wrong reason for someone to be in an extracurricular activity. I only mention college to show DS has more interest than DD does. I do not look at this money as an "investment" for college. He's only a freshman. There's a long almost 4 years before college starts. Anything can happen.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

I spend $260 a month for my daughter’s dance lessons (5 classes a week) + $65 per costume x 5 plus choreography, competition, and recital fees. She is 5. She loves it and it channels her energy in to something positive. She’s been dancing since before she could walk, started classes at 18 months and this is her second year in a performing group. It seems ridiculous sometimes, but she loves it and it is good for her. If she ever says she wants to stop, we will.

 

[Klayfish]

Let me clarify... neither child is participating BECAUSE we're trying to get them in college. IMO, that's the wrong reason for someone to be in an extracurricular activity. I only mention college to show DS has more interest than DD does. I do not look at this money as an "investment" for college. He's only a freshman. There's a long almost 4 years before college starts. Anything can happen.

Absolutely. I didn't mean to imply any thoughts on what you were doing. That was just my own personal view on it for my own kids. My oldest is a high school freshman too...I've got bigger fish to fry right now than whether or not he makes a lacrosse team in college. For example, I just need to get him to clean his darn room.

 

[siren0119]

Are the costs unreasonable/out of line? No I think they're average.

What is frustrating is the dwindling away of activities available for kids whose parents CAN'T foot the bill. When I was in school there were intramural sports, after school clubs and the like that offered an opportunity to participate without a requirement to pay. The choice for those families is to either HIGHLY limit their kids' exposure to extra curriculars, or not allow them to participate at all.

We aren't rolling in cash - my kids are able to participate in one paid sport per year because that's what we can afford. We try to find other ways to expose them to things, but it's hard. Can't bring them to "free trial" events at studios/clubs because if they love the sport we either have to say no or limit the time they can commit to it. There are no afterschool clubs or pickup games for them to plug into anymore.

 

[cabanafrau]

I don't think the assessment should be "will she be an Olympian, if not, the cost isn't worth it." There are so many other things children get out of extra-curricular activities. Working in a team, physical exercise, how to deal with adversity, how to handle winning and/or losing gracefully, social interaction with peers, how to push through something hard and succeed at it. For our family those things are invaluable, so if our kids show an interest in expensive hobbies/sports/extra-curricular actives, we'll pay what we can afford to give them those important life experiences. If the activities seem to not be fun anymore or the time commitment is interfering with school, we re-evaluate.

I agree, sometimes the metric by which you measure the return on investment for the extracurriculars expands as time goes on. Both of our daughters have ended up utilizing lessons learned from years of dancing in very different and unanticipated ways in dealing with life situations. We never foresaw any of that as being part of the benefits of the dance education we paid for.

 

[sam_gordon]

What is frustrating is the dwindling away of activities available for kids whose parents CAN'T foot the bill. When I was in school there were intramural sports, after school clubs and the like that offered an opportunity to participate without a requirement to pay. The choice for those families is to either HIGHLY limit their kids' exposure to extra curriculars, or not allow them to participate at all.

Of course, anyone is free to start a league in any sport they choose. They can keep it as low cost as they'd like.

 

[siren0119]

Of course, anyone is free to start a league in any sport they choose. They can keep it as low cost as they'd like.

Not necessarily. In our school system, any on-site school activity has to be sponsored by a teacher. Kids cannot just start a league/group and parents cannot initiate an on-campus activity.

 

[sam_gordon]

Not necessarily. In our school system, any on-site school activity has to be sponsored by a teacher. Kids cannot just start a league/group and parents cannot initiate an on-campus activity.

Why does it have to be on site at a school? Are there no public parks around you?

As far as using school gyms... I know schools around us will rent out gyms for practices, games, & tournaments.

 

[cabanafrau]

Of course, anyone is free to start a league in any sport they choose. They can keep it as low cost as they'd like.

Why does it have to be on site at a school? Are there no public parks around you?

As far as using school gyms... I know schools around us will rent out gyms for practices, games, & tournaments.

Not sure how realistic that is in today's world. Simply the barrier of liability insurance puts that out of reach of many people these days. The use of public facilities generally comes with a request for someone in charge to sign off, indemnifying the facility from any liability, along with proof of insurance.

 

[siren0119]

Why does it have to be on site at a school? Are there no public parks around you?

As far as using school gyms... I know schools around us will rent out gyms for practices, games, & tournaments.

Accessibility. After school programs are the easiest way to ensure you actually reach the kids who don't have other outlets for extra curriculars. Not everyone has a parent at home after school who can drive them somewhere. Not all parents work traditional office hours and can be around to transport to games/practices. Schools will rent out their facilities after hours, but again that does not address accessibility for the population of kids whose parents may not be able to foot a $3K per year bill for sports/activities or whose parents cannot transport them to said activities due to timing.

If you live in a place where that population is minimal, consider yourself privileged. There are large populations of middle- and lower-middle class families who are not eligible for reduced rate enrollment or free services, but who do not have the resources to pay thousands per year for extra curriculars. Those kids had access to some enrichment activities through afterschool programs and intramurals, but those programs have increasingly dwindled.

 

[sam_gordon]

Not sure how realistic that is in today's world. Simply the barrier of liability insurance puts that out of reach of many people these days. The use of public facilities generally comes with a request for someone in charge to sign off, indemnifying the facility from any liability, along with proof of insurance.

Accessibility. After school programs are the easiest way to ensure you actually reach the kids who don't have other outlets for extra curriculars. Not everyone has a parent at home after school who can drive them somewhere. Not all parents work traditional office hours and can be around to transport to games/practices. Schools will rent out their facilities after hours, but again that does not address accessibility for the population of kids whose parents may not be able to foot a $3K per year bill for sports/activities or whose parents cannot transport them to said activities due to timing.

If you live in a place where that population is minimal, consider yourself privileged. There are large populations of middle- and lower-middle class families who are not eligible for reduced rate enrollment or free services, but who do not have the resources to pay thousands per year for extra curriculars. Those kids had access to some enrichment activities through afterschool programs and intramurals, but those programs have increasingly dwindled.

OK. Since it's impossible to do it, now you know why there's not more options.

 

[mnrose]

Kids activities at the upper levels can get VERY expensive. My DD did dance and musical theater, which costs "only" around $2500 a year, plus shoes and costume fees (another couple hundred maybe?). My son did rock climbing, which was around $200 a month (and he didn't climb year round).

You should, IMO, never spend more than you can afford. If you are doing it to get them "college scholarships", you'd be better off putting the same amount of money into a savings account. You'll end up, on average, with more money for college that way than you would be "spending" the money required to get them a college athletic scholarship. Or spend the money on tutors instead. The average merit scholarship exceeds the average athletic scholarship.

If your kid enjoys it, and you can afford it, have at it. But, I'd never sacrifice my future financial security or other needs for kid's activities.

 

[cabanafrau]

OK. Since it's impossible to do it, now you know why there's not more options.

Merely pointed out why anyone isn't so free to do as you suggested.

I guess they're free to eat cake.

 

[siren0119]

OK. Since it's impossible to do it, now you know why there's not more options.

Could you provide specific quotes where we (or anyone) said it was impossible? You offered a rather empty suggestion, which was disagreed with. Beef up after school programs and stop cutting them back. That might not be EASY, but it's not impossible by a longshot.