awkward situation: no shoes at baby shower

[PollyannaMom]

I always wonder if the truly shoes off in the house families take them on and off each time while bringing in the groceries in the winter.

Nope, I bring them all in and then take my shoes off.

It's a fuzzy line.

 

[Disney.Dreamin.Dee]

I always expect to remove my shoes when entering someone's home and I have never assumed that they would provided me with slippers or allow me to leave my shoes on.
Perhaps if it were summer and not wet out and they do not have carpets that maybe keeping my shoes on would not be as big of a deal but I would always start to remove my shoes and if they said it was not necessary then I wouldn't.

 

[DLgal]

I know this is common in people's homes, but why does it really matter if the floor is dirty? Are people out there licking floors? I can understand it when you have a crawling baby around, or you have a lot of carpet. But in general, the floor is always going to be dirty, whether you wear shoes or not. It's a floor. Even the most diligent moppers can't be on top of everyday dust and such. And if you have a dog? Forget it. Your floor is always dirty.

Our entire downstairs is tile floor. We don't wear shoes upstairs, which is all carpet, and only because I HATE having carpets cleaned. We vacuum twice a week up there and in almost 7 years, still haven't needed to clean the carpets. We don't eat up there either, and water is the only drink allowed upstairs.

 

[Disney.Dreamin.Dee]

I always wonder if the truly shoes off in the house families take them on and off each time while bringing in the groceries in the winter.

ABSOLUTELY!
Especially in the winter. We would not walk on our floors with salty, wet, slushy, DIRTY shoes/boots.
IF we have to make multiple trips to the car to retrieve groceries then the groceries only go as far as the entryway until we are ready to remove our shoes.
In the summer when its not wet out we would consider not removing our shoes but even then we usually do.
Its more about not tracking dirt/water in on our wood floors.

 

[Caseheidi]

I live in the Pacific Northwest, and I would say about half the people we know have the no shoes policy in their homes. We have a whatever is comfortable for you in our home. DD and I tend to kick them off as we enter the house, and DH keeps his on. Part of that is from growing up, where I just prefer to be barefoot, and DH who grew up with a tile floor over cement, so the floor was always cold, and shoes kept his feet warm.

While growing up, it was rare for me to go over to a house that had the no shoes policy. This seemed to start in the 2000's around here. And most the people I know who have this are very flexible about what their guests do.

 

[penn19]

Ugh. The last time I was at a baby shower the guest of honors sister (the Host) asked me to take my shoes off. They were Manolo Blahniks for goodness sake! They were part of an OUTFIT. Had I known I would have worn a hat or something to compensate!
And yep you guessed it. At the end of the party someone had taken my shoes. Had to borrow a pair to wear home. And my friend didn’t even seem to care!

 

[ronandannette]

I have never been to a party where I was told to take off my shoes.
I am a germaphobe and I understand how you want to keep your house clean. However, if you are going to make such a request:
1. It needs to be told to your guests beforehand so they can plan accordingly. As simple as a memo on invite.
2. You should provide disposable slippers. (I just looked it up, you can buy 25 for $26.99 on amazon. If you are that concerned about it, provide it.)
There is etiquette involved. No one wants to be blindsided with a shoes off policy.

This is truly one of the "regional" issues for the ages. Nobody where I live would need to be told in advance because nobody would think of wearing their shoes inside their own home or anyone else's, especially in the winter. Honestly, it's just not done. Anybody who is uncomfortable being barefoot wears socks (and in the winter, who doesn't wear socks in their boots?) or sometimes carries a pair of slippers with them.

I like shoes off at the door but I'm not a stickler for it. I have a large rug, a boot tray and a chair in my entryway and most kid visitors automatically take off their shoes as soon as they enter. Some grownups do, some don't. Our parents are getting older and have some mobility issues and replacement joints, so they are steadier when they where shoes inside. For parties, I mop before the party but save the scrub the floors on my hands and knees for after the party when the floors are much dirtier.

I always wonder if the truly shoes off in the house families take them on and off each time while bringing in the groceries in the winter.

In ours, yes; winter or summer. We have an under-drive garage and regrettably, the stairs up are carpeted (SMH). So bringing groceries in sometimes involves several trips up-and-down, and DH and I take our shoes on and off. DS probably not so much and the carpet on those stairs is always grubby. Luckily, it can't be seen from our public areas and nobody but us go up and down there.

 

[AppleDumpling]

In my family, everyone does what they’re comfortable with. I normally don’t wear shoes in the house, DH does. Guests are welcome to do as they please as well. Not really a big deal. It’s not like we have wall-to-wall white carpeting. Wood floors with area rugs get vacuumed and cleaned when necessary.

Now of course in winter, if there’s snow, like now, we take off our boots when we come in and put them on boot trays by the front or back door. (Wish we had a mud room!) I then put on slippers and DH puts on sneakers. During other seasons, all I ask is to WIPE your feet on outside and inside mats as you come in, if your shoes are dirty.

Regarding the OP, I would never expect guests at a house party to remove their shoes. IMO, it’s awkward and will make some people uncomfortable. However, if you are that strict about it, you should at least have the courtesy to inform guests in advance so they will be prepared.

 

[fly girl]

This is truly one of the "regional" issues for the ages. Nobody where I live would need to be told in advance because nobody would think of wearing their shoes inside their own home or anyone else's, especially in the winter. Honestly, it's just not done. Anybody who is uncomfortable being barefoot wears socks (and in the winter, who doesn't wear socks in their boots?) or sometimes carries a pair of slippers with them.

Yes. Definitely a regional difference. Honestly, I knew about Asian cultures and shoe removal, but I had no idea Canadians fell into that category too. Learn something new everyday!

But if you came to a Baby Shower in the midwest hosted by yours truly anytime of the year if you wanted to keep your shoes on, you could.

 

[anniemae]

Regarding the OP, I would never expect guests at a house party to remove their shoes. IMO, it’s awkward and will make some people uncomfortable. However, if you are that strict about it, you should at least have the courtesy to inform guests in advance so they will be prepared.

Very awkward. Everyone standing around talking and eating with fancy outfits and bare/stocking feet.

 

[AustinTink]

Ugh. The last time I was at a baby shower the guest of honors sister (the Host) asked me to take my shoes off. They were Manolo Blahniks for goodness sake! They were part of an OUTFIT. Had I known I would have worn a hat or something to compensate!
And yep you guessed it. At the end of the party someone had taken my shoes. Had to borrow a pair to wear home. And my friend didn’t even seem to care!

So, you're Carrie from Sex and the City. And Tatum O'Neil was the party host, right?

https://www.hbo.com/sex-and-the-city/season-06a/9-a-womans-right-to-shoes/synopsis

 

[CdnCarrie]

I like shoes off at the door but I'm not a stickler for it. I have a large rug, a boot tray and a chair in my entryway and most kid visitors automatically take off their shoes as soon as they enter. Some grownups do, some don't. Our parents are getting older and have some mobility issues and replacement joints, so they are steadier when they where shoes inside. For parties, I mop before the party but save the scrub the floors on my hands and knees for after the party when the floors are much dirtier.

I always wonder if the truly shoes off in the house families take them on and off each time while bringing in the groceries in the winter.

We bring in all the groceries to the front entrance than take off our shoes and carry bags through the house.

 

[AppleDumpling]

This is truly one of the "regional" issues for the ages. Nobody where I live would need to be told in advance because nobody would think of wearing their shoes inside their own home or anyone else's, especially in the winter. Honestly, it's just not done. Anybody who is uncomfortable being barefoot wears socks (and in the winter, who doesn't wear socks in their boots?) or sometimes carries a pair of slippers with them.

Yes I agree it’s regional and/or cultural, however in OP’s case, it doesn’t sound like she lives in a region where this practice is customary. If she was caught off guard, a considerate host would have allowed her to keep her shoes, rather than embarrass her by making a big issue of it.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Yes. Definitely a regional difference. Honestly, I knew about Asian cultures and shoe removal, but I had no idea Canadians fell into that category too. Learn something new everyday!

But if you came to a Baby Shower in the midwest hosted by yours truly anytime of the year if you wanted to keep your shoes on, you could.

There’s 4 feet of snow out there. People aren’t wandering to other houses in flip flops.
Unless you carry extra shoes with you would be walking in the house with wet clunky boots.
Which granted us a thing. Use to carry dress shoes to bars and such so I can see it doing so for a party.

not limited to Canadians. I’m sure North Dakota and Minnesota with similar climates would be the same,

 

[CdnCarrie]

Question for those who wear shoes all day inside doesn’t it get uncomfortable if you curl up on the couch? What kind of shoes do you wear?
How about when you are in your pjs?

 

[_19disnA]

Regarding the OP, I would never expect guests at a house party to remove their shoes. IMO, it’s awkward and will make some people uncomfortable. However, if you are that strict about it, you should at least have the courtesy to inform guests in advance so they will be prepared.

I agree. I think it is tacky to have a large social gathering at your home and ask guests to remove their shoes (especially if you didn't let them know ahead of time to plan accordingly). Some elderly people wear orthopedic shoes so they don't lose their balance or fall. I have never attended any large social function where this was expected. Maybe they shouldn't have white/light color carpeting in the living room if they were so concerned about it getting dirty. Can't imagine what other type of flooring would cause them to want you to do that.

What you choose to do when home alone is a different situation then having a large social function. Doubt anyone wears their PJ's during a large party.

In the winter, women will typically wear booths (or men wear overshoes) if someplace that gets snow and then remove those when entering the house. They typically bring regular footwear in place of their outdoor snow gear. I believe the OP is talking about something other then concern about snow/slush.

 

[penn19]

So, you're Carrie from Sex and the City. And Tatum O'Neil was the party host, right?

https://www.hbo.com/sex-and-the-city/season-06a/9-a-womans-right-to-shoes/synopsis

I guess I outed myself!

 

[Boopuff]

I'm more interested where everyone from the baby shower put their shoes? Did you just remove them and leave them by the front door or did the housemaid pick them up and place them elsewhere?
Couldn't help the jab. IMO if you're hosting an indoor party like that it's plain rude to expect someone to take off their shoes. Does this household ever entertain during the evening? like cocktail party for shoeless guests too? Tacky!!!!!

As you walked into the shower, there was just a pile of shoes right at the door. It was like a fun game trying to find your pair when you left! Each time someone entered, the shoes got kicked around. I'd just really appreciate a heads-up if I'm going to a shoe-less party! (I'd brings some fancy ballet slippers!)

 

[Boopuff]

Question for those who wear shoes all day inside doesn’t it get uncomfortable if you curl up on the couch? What kind of shoes do you wear?
How about when you are in your pjs?

I change out of shoes and wear slippers when I'm home. But I have a dog and cats (hardwood/tile on my first floor, carpet bedrooms) when people come over they just wear shoes. I'm constantly washing the floors (thank heaven for swiffer!!)

 

[CdnCarrie]

I change out of shoes and wear slippers when I'm home. But I have a dog and cats (hardwood/tile on my first floor, carpet bedrooms) when people come over they just wear shoes. I'm constantly washing the floors (thank heaven for swiffer!!)

So they changed from their heavy winter boots into shoes they carried with them?
we usually just stay in sock feet When we visit somewhere.