Romantic Beliefs

[Moliphino]

I don't believe in any of it with people. Oddly, I do sort of believe in fate with pets.

 

[luvnwdwgal]

I believe in soulmates. There were a lot of coincidences that brought my husband and I together. I believe it was fate. We both knew it was love at first sight when we met. It just felt right. We’ve been happily married for 41 years this October.

 

[Mysterian]

I believe in soulmates. There were a lot of coincidences that brought my husband and I together. I believe it was fate. We both knew it was love at first sight when we met. It just felt right. We’ve been happily married for 41 years this October. ❤

Congrats! What were some of the coincidences? Yours sounds like quite a success story.

 

[Snowysmom]

I believe that there are certain people who could be the "one" and it just depends on when your paths cross. Fate probably has something to do with it. I don't really believe there is only one person and one soulmate for each person. DH and I met quickly in college when he was seeing a friend. I didn't like him at the time. I thought he was a bit strange. Then our mutual friend set us up on a date a little over a year later. It was the only first date that turned in a second and more dates for me. We were married for 45 years. We were opposites in some areas but in the ones that mattered like values and morals we were in tune. DH always said we were meant to be. And yes he was still a bit strange but I learned to love that about him. He was unique. We had ups and downs but worked through them.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

My husband and I have grown and changed so much over the 27 years we have known each other. We had a fantastic romance/love story, but I still don't think we were necessarily a perfect match or absolutely "meant to be". The key is that over time we have grown together. Now there is certainly no one else out there that would be a better spouse for me, but that's because there's no one else who has had decades of developing and changing along with me to become the perfect fit.

You hit the nail on the head! This is the way I feel about it too. We started dating because we were attracted to each other, enjoyed each other’s company and had fun together. Shared values were the clincher. And after all these years growing together, we can’t imagine life with anyone else.

I think some of us have a different definition of soul mates. To me, it means two people who fit perfectly together. They're happiest, when they're together & they don't like being apart. Basisically, one oompletes the other.

I wonder if this is partly a personality thing. DH and I value our time together, but we also value and need our time with our friends. We each do girls nights and guys nights regularly. We even take girls vacations and guys vacations. Our daughter is a lot like us. She really needs that interaction with her friends. She dated a guy for a while whose whole world revolved around her. He was happiest when they were together and didn’t like it when they were apart. Eventually it stifled her. She realized they were a personality mismatch. He needed a girl that felt like he was her whole world. My daughter’s current BF is the center of her universe, but he happily shares orbit with all the other planets in her life.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

You hit the nail on the head! This is the way I feel about it too. We started dating because we were attracted to each other, enjoyed each other’s company and had fun together. Shared values were the clincher. And after all these years growing together, we can’t imagine life with anyone else.


I wonder if this is partly a personality thing. DH and I value our time together, but we also value and need our time with our friends. We each do girls nights and guys nights regularly. We even take girls vacations and guys vacations. Our daughter is a lot like us. She really needs that interaction with her friends. She dated a guy for a while whose whole world revolved around her. He was happiest when they were together and didn’t like it when they were apart. Eventually it stifled her. She realized they were a personality mismatch. He needed a girl that felt like he was her whole world. My daughter’s current BF is the center of her universe, but he happily shares orbit with all the other planets in her life.

For me, it isn't about personality. At least, not my personality. During my first marriage, I chose to spend a lot of time with my friends. The same was true, when I dated other guys. After awhile, I wanted time away from them. I don't feel that way with DH. Anytime I'm apart from him it's out of obligation not choice.

 

[tvguy]

You're saying that the woman you clicked with was identical to the woman you dream about as a teen? Were they identical only in appearance? That I find very interesting! I've heard stories like yours. I know of a special FX artist who drew a picture of a woman, and later dated a woman who looked exactly like that (without prior knowledge of her existence).

Well, I don't dream in intricate detail, or if I do, I don't remember those details when I wake up. But basically, in appearance. Long red hair. Given that the woman I dated over the years before my wife were all blonde.

 

[ChrisFL]

I'm 43 and single...so I'm going with the tacos

 

[TippyThomas]

I'm 43 and single...so I'm going with the tacos

Single for my whole life but tacos never let me down.

 

[disykat]

My dh and I have a running joke about being "sympatico" (and then we roll our eyes) because we are so NOT on the same wavelength about just about everything. I think you could call us good partners because we are compatible, but not soul mates because we think nothing alike and don't always "get" each other. Our partnership has worked for 32 years.

 

[ronandannette]

There's a sci-fi series on Prime about this called very literally "Soulmates". The premise is that in the near-future, you can register test results into a databank that will find your soulmate. Very evocative in that the relationships that are formed are certainly NOT idyllic and the parties sacrifice a lot and put up with a lot to sustain them because they believe it's "meant to be".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmates_(TV_series)

 

[SteveH]

I'm not sure I buy into it, with that said I nearly lost out on the love of my life by taking my bosses son to a camp conference - he looked like me, my future wife saw him and me and thought she'd missed out. Thankfully, as fate would have it we met again another work confernece and it got shut down to snow - so we spent the night up talking over a few beers and something sparked. A couple months later had our first date, and considering we were about 2 hours a part, we hit it off and I for one knew this was the woman I'd been looking for. We were married 7 months later and just celebrated our 30th Anniversary and our 31st Anniversary of our 1st date. So while I have no proof of soulmates I do believe we were brought together not once but twice.

 

[EMom]

I’ve never believed in soulmates. It defies the odds that your one true soulmate would miraculously be a resident of the same town, no matter how small. Or attend the same university, or work at the same employer. Nope, yours might be in a remote Chinese village to your NYC.

I think there are many people each of us could be quite happy with. We just never meet them.

 

[AppleDumpling]

Agree with many of the thoughts here. The idea that one’s partner is predestined seems overly idealistic and not very practical. Don’t know about soulmates, but for me and DH, I do believe that we found true love in each other. And once we found true love, we stopped looking. 32 years married and still going strong.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Soulmates, pheromones or both?

 

[BrianL]

What happened to your DIS board girlfriend? Your DGF? I thought you two would have been spinning together in the Teacups by now!

Oh, we still chat.

 

[Mysterian]

Oh, we still chat.

That’s a love connection!

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I am old and skeptical. I don't believe in any of those. I believe that people can be lucky enough to find a good match.

 

[MamaMermaid]

I don't know what to think. It's a very romantic notion and it's crazy how life can seemingly throw 2 people together but who knows!

 

[Disneylover99]

I don’t believe in soulmates, but I believe everything happens for a reason, so sometimes it seems the perfect person for you turns up at the perfect time.