Problematic behavior in a lounge

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I'm not saying that things didn't happen that were eyebrow raising but they happened with much less frequency.

I read an interesting advice column recently where this guy wrote in saying how he was essentially perturbed (I don't remember the exact description) with hearing women use profanity. As he put it men used to use profanity when around other males and that was okay. The writer of the advice column rightfully so spun it right back about gender norms.

Some people have a harder time accepting the more brash norms we have and believe they are righteous to correct people's behavior.

To an extent I agree with you but I think most of us see the elder generation be the ones scolding the most and yet also being one of the higher offenders. In general the people I see out and about talking on their cell phone at the table, listening to loud videos (or videos in general) without headphones on, having every tap of their screen make noise because they never shut off the sound to that, raise such heck over small details, tend to be the ones most likely to voice correction of others behaviors. Don't get me wrong younger people do some stuff too (especially allowing kids use devices without headphones) but if the social norms were completely different in the past I find the ones not adhering to it to be the very ones supposedly taught the "right" way.

 

[Christine]

I read an interesting advice column recently where this guy wrote in saying how he was essentially perturbed (I don't remember the exact description) with hearing women use profanity. As he put it men used to use profanity when around other males and that was okay. The writer of the advice column rightfully so spun it right back about gender norms.

To an extent I agree with you but I think most of us see the elder generation be the ones scolding the most and yet also being one of the higher offenders. In general the people I see out and about talking on their cell phone at the table, listening to loud videos (or videos in general) without headphones on, having every tap of their screen make noise because they never shut off the sound to that, raise such heck over small details, tend to be the ones most likely to voice correction of others behaviors. Don't get me wrong younger people do some stuff too (especially allowing kids use devices without headphones) but if the social norms were completely different in the past I find the ones not adhering to it to be the very ones supposedly taught the "right" way.

Well that's a discussion for another day!

You'd probably consider me older, but I don't do any of those things. I also swear like a sailor. Lifetime of working with men/soldiers/military etc. I drop all sorts of bombs all of the place but I know my audience. Personally, I would not go into a hotel "lounge" (and I'm trying to picture that since the lounges in hotels I stay at are just quiet little weird spaces) and sit there with my group and shout all my profanties. I just wouldn't behave in public like that. Most hotel "bars" are fairly empty and quiet in my own experience.

That said, take me to a loud, noisy bar where everyone is shouting and I'd be doing it.

So while I don't agree with approaching those people like the OP did, to me it seems like it was annoying, careless behavior for those people (as I imagine it based on the OPs description--that's all we have). I think this sort of behavior is displayed more and more. I'm not even pinning it on the younger generations at all. As you said, older folks can be quite rude and loud and, as we know, older folks tend to lose their filter.

 

[DisneylandFreak2013]

I'm a little surprised that there are so many on the first page saying to mind your own business and that you were eavesdropping. I guess maybe I'm just not used to that kind of talk, I know I certainly wouldn't be ok with two men talking aggressively and loud about sex and genitals. Especially not in a public lounge, how disrespectful and rude. You said they were also talking about animals, OP? I hope they were not discussing bestiality but it kind of sounds like it.

Good for you for standing up against that. I probably would have left in disgust and not confronted them, but because I always worry if someone has a weapon or could get physically violent. Sounds like those gents were a few fries short of a Happy Meal, so I wouldn't want to get into a confrontation even though you were completely in the right. No one needs to sit and listen to that disgusting conversation.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

To clarify they were talking suggestively and sexually about genitalia, animals, and looking at genitalia.

OMG!!!! THIS is what offended the OP? Genitalia? Were they also talking about looking at animal genitalia? Maybe they were a couple of obnoxious zoologists. or maybe they are into animal husbandry! And you actually went up to them and asked them to STOP talking about genitalia?! Oh my, I'm dying over here. To be a fly on the wall. A lot of us thought they were planning an attack or something, but they were being crude and talking about eggplants and peaches?

 

[DisneylandFreak2013]

so you were eavesdropping on a private conversation and decided that their conversation was not to your liking and interrupted to tell them so?

You're ok with two men talking loudly about genitals and sex and looking at others privates, loudly? Maybe we're just more conservative, but I would be taken aback at that type of talk in a public place. It doesn't sound like OP was in a "gentleman's club" or adult store that had a lounge in it....so those men are in the wrong completely.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

You're ok with two men talking loudly about genitals and sex and looking at others privates, loudly? Maybe we're just more conservative, but I would be taken aback at that type of talk in a public place. It doesn't sound like OP was in a "gentleman's club" or adult store that had a lounge in it....so those men are in the wrong completely.

Why not just ignore it? Or walk away?

 

[DisneylandFreak2013]

Why not just ignore it? Or walk away?

That is what I said I would do, walk away in disgust.

 

[DisneylandFreak2013]

I also think it's interesting that people are unoffended by talk of sex, porn, genitals, cursing at others, etc but then become enraged by any sort of religious talk. It just doesn't make sense.

 

[focusondisney]

I don't see how an appropriate response to being asked to stop swearing is to punch someone or draw a gun on them. Seems like an overreaction . . .

It‘s an overreaction in my opinion too. But sadly, this is the world we live in now. Confronting a stranger about anything now can put your safety & life on the line.

 

[Moliphino]

I also think it's interesting that people are unoffended by talk of sex, porn, genitals, cursing at others, etc but then become enraged by any sort of religious talk. It just doesn't make sense.

I might not like listening to it, but I'm 100% not going to confront anyone about it. Complain to venue management if you really think it's an issue, they can decide if it's enough to kick someone out.

 

[Suger Mag]

You're ok with two men talking loudly about genitals and sex and looking at others privates, loudly? Maybe we're just more conservative, but I would be taken aback at that type of talk in a public place. It doesn't sound like OP was in a "gentleman's club" or adult store that had a lounge in it....so those men are in the wrong completely.

Sure, no issues. I am a farm girl, not going to shock me, growing up I worked on a horse farm... harness racing, we routinely collected 'samples' from the stud, this could have been a day at work for anyone who works in animal husbandry ( I almost always win the most unusual job contests)... Now I teach Anatomy and Physiology. So giant pictures of genitalia are pretty routine any given day for me....

 

[tzolkin]

I'm a little surprised that there are so many on the first page saying to mind your own business and that you were eavesdropping. I guess maybe I'm just not used to that kind of talk, I know I certainly wouldn't be ok with two men talking aggressively and loud about sex and genitals.

Well, back on page one no one knew what the two men were talking about since OP just added that bit of info about three posts before yours. The original post just said they were swearing, which is typically not something you confront strangers in a bar to complain about.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

I also think it's interesting that people are unoffended by talk of sex, porn, genitals, cursing at others, etc but then become enraged by any sort of religious talk. It just doesn't make sense.

Well, at least for me, and man, am I gonna get clobbered for this response, but who cares, for me, sex and genitals are natural. We all have them, I assume, and we should all talk about them because sex is natural and fun and funny and cool. The more we talk about sex and boobs and vaginas and penises, the less of taboo it will be. Talking and laughing about sex is fun.

Religion? Um, not so much. But I don't get enraged when pious folk get all preachy, I usually take my own advice, and just walk away. The only time I got mad and confrontational was when someone said that because I'm bisexual and sleep with men and women, I should go straight to hell. Yeah, that one got bad.

 

[lowlight]

That is what I said I would do, walk away in disgust.

Good day sir!

 

[Smugpugmug]

Hi everyone, I left off what exactly they said as I felt it might be against TOS.

To clarify they were talking suggestively and sexually about genitalia, animals, and looking at genitalia.

Been reading through this thread all day but didn't feel the need to comment until now. I just want to clarify something - were the men talking about animal genitalia specifically because if so, that's a whole other issue than what has been discussed so far.

 

[Christine]

Been reading through this thread all day but didn't feel the need to comment until now. I just want to clarify something - were the men talking about animal genitalia specifically because if so, that's a whole other issue than what has been discussed so far.

It was list so ....animals, genitalia,....but probably not animal genitalia.

 

[HopperFan]

The OP mentioned the cursing taking place, and then after that the conversation became problematic. I am also curious about what turned the conversation from cursing to problematic.

I personally would not have confronted the people at all. I would have left the area if I felt uncomfortable. The only person I can control is me, so if I am in a situation that makes me feel threatened or concerned, I leave if I can. I would not even report it to management unless the conversation involved threats or criminal activity that required intervention. There is simply too much risk of retaliation these days.

THIS ^


No matter where we go anymore, we will encounter people that offend us. I get upset with the parents at Disney berating their children, in restaurants with screaming poorly behaved children, sometimes being stuck at family gatherings where politics gets hostile, at football games that guy that screams about every play and player knowing their parents are there too, the party or bar with inappropriate jokes and oh that Karen at the store creating a scene.

What is described is just another rude person not caring they are in public behaving like a [insert] and it happens everywhere. No where are we safe from inappropriate behavior.

Personally I'd just roll my eyes and walk away. Last thing I want to do is deal with a couple guys full of so much inadequacy they need conversations to deflect from their shortcomings.

 

[Smugpugmug]

It was list so ....animals, genitalia,....but probably not animal genitalia.

I hope that's the case and I'm just thinking of worst case scenario.

Regardless, I would most likely walk away and inform an employee if it got to that point. You never know how people will react nowadays.

 

[barkley]

It was list so ....animals, genitalia,....but probably not animal genitalia.

you never know.......ever seen the documentary 'zoo' (2007)? zoophiles are a real thing.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

you never know.......ever seen the documentary 'zoo' (2007)? zoophiles are a real thing.

Aaaaand the conversation takes a sharp turn.