Problematic behavior in a lounge

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Most hotel "bars" are fairly empty and quiet in my own experience.

I agree they can be depending on the environment, some I've been to have been more like a quiet library and others more like a meeting ground for a bunch of people staying there like a group of friends or a work event, etc.

If my issue was the noise it'd be the noise conflicting with the environment not whatever they were talking about

 

[pindecisive]

Were they also talking about looking at animal genitalia?

Yes. The list of things they were talking about was so disgusting I can't even quote it because it would be removed.

Also to clarify, it was not related to animal husbandry. I grew up on a farm with blue collar ranchers and this was not that.

Well, back on page one no one knew what the two men were talking about since OP just added that bit of info about three posts before yours. The original post just said they were swearing, which is typically not something you confront strangers in a bar to complain about.

It's really strange to me the amount of people who read that an older man shouted at a young woman who simply quietly said, "You're making me uncomfortable" and told her she was the problem for not just leaving.

Why not just ignore it? Or walk away?

The lounge is public in that anyone who pays for it has access, but you have to pay for access. It's roughly $50 a day.

 

[sam_gordon]

I also think it's interesting that people are unoffended by talk of sex, porn, genitals, cursing at others, etc but then become enraged by any sort of religious talk. It just doesn't make sense.

You and your friends can have a conversation about whatever religious items you want. Others can be offended (just like they OP was with the subjects the men were talking about), but can't force you to stop.

 

[barkley]

Aaaaand the conversation takes a sharp turn.

sorry-it came to mind b/c we moved to washington state soon after legislation was enacted due to what occured so it was it was pretty high profile in the news.

 

[sam_gordon]

It's really strange to me the amount of people who read that an older man shouted at a young woman who simply quietly said, "You're making me uncomfortable" and told her she was the problem for not just leaving.

I agree he shouldn't have shouted at you, but in all honesty, it's your choice to be there. At that point, it's notify an employee and either sit back down or leave.

The lounge is public in that anyone who pays for it has access, but you have to pay for access. It's roughly $50 a day.

Doesn't really change anything.

 

[dvcgirl67]

I would have thought that the conversation was annoying....and I would have gotten up and left the area. I pick my battles in life, and this one would not have been worth my time or effort.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It's really strange to me the amount of people who read that an older man shouted at a young woman who simply quietly said, "You're making me uncomfortable" and told her she was the problem for not just leaving.

The gender doesn't matter. It's not like it would change how uncomfortable you would have felt if it was a woman talking, well that is if the content is the actual issue and it's not something else that you haven't disclosed.

And explaining it away with "simply quietly said" doesn't matter. Most of us agree we don't approach people in the situation you described, we would handle it differently even if the conversation was not to our liking.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I also think it's interesting that people are unoffended by talk of sex, porn, genitals, cursing at others, etc but then become enraged by any sort of religious talk. It just doesn't make sense.

I don't get worked up over religious talk nor the other stuff you mentioned at least on a general level, different context change the conversation no matter the content.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

The lounge is public in that anyone who pays for it has access, but you have to pay for access. It's roughly $50 a day.

Huh? I've never heard of a hotel lounge that charges $USD50 a day. maybe I'm not staying at the right hotels. Was this an airport lounge? Was it so small that you couldn't find someplace else to sit? I still can't believe what kind of reaction you expected when you told them they were making you uncomfortable? I mean, consider the source, what they were "talking about was so disgusting I can't even quote it because it would be removed." So, given the nature of their discourse, would you have expected them to politely apologise? I'm sorry but the way they responded was expected given the circumstances. And if you really expected a polite apology, then you truly need to get out more.

 

[Smugpugmug]

I also think it's interesting that people are unoffended by talk of sex, porn, genitals, cursing at others, etc but then become enraged by any sort of religious talk. It just doesn't make sense.

I've been playing multiplayer online games for over a decade and the things I've heard in those lobbies is far worse than anything I've overheard someone say in a public space.

 

[RangerPooh]

I can be crass and swear, or carry polite conversation. It all depends on the setting and who I'm with. Now if the lounge was intended to host quiet conversation and not loud and vulgar then there might be the issue. I've been in upscale concierge lounges, and usually the conversation overheard is not the type that is present.

If those guests were loud and obnoxious, then they may be lacking in the polite conversation skill department. However, if their voices were low then it could be a matter of eavesdropping, and you did not like their discussion. At that point, I would have gotten up and moved. I may have said something to the host/bartender, knowing that nothing would come of it.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Huh? I've never heard of a hotel lounge that charges $USD50 a day. maybe I'm not staying at the right hotels. Was this an airport lounge? Was it so small that you couldn't find someplace else to sit?

I'm picturing a hotel with some sort of "club level" option, where the lounge is in an area you can't access unless you're paying $50 more per night for your room?

Anyway, I might have been uncomfortable, but I wouldn't have had the guts to confront them. (Maybe a quick: "Hey, little ears over there" if there were kids around, but nothing directly confrontational.) And I'd be far more likely to just ignore them or leave the area myself.

 

[HeatherC]

I’m just shocked this thread is now 5 pages long.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I’m just shocked this thread is now 5 pages long.

Totally not shocking by DIS standards.

 

[slo]

I’m just shocked this thread is now 5 pages long.

I hear ya ….. it’s been a long time since I’ve followed a thread like I’ve been following this one, and I really don’t know why

 

[Keladry84]

I’m just shocked this thread is now 5 pages long.

This thread just might be a good candidate to start off the "hidden" threads section

 

[AustinTink]

Looks like the OP clarified that she was staying in a hotel in a “club level” room. Club lounges tend to have a more muted setting compared to the bar downstairs. I can see how this type of behavior would have been very out of place in the club lounge. I’d be miffed if I paid extra for club level and two jerks were in there yelling about gross stuff while I’m trying to enjoy my wine.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

Looks like the OP clarified that she was staying in a hotel in a “club level” room. Club lounges tend to have a more muted setting compared to the bar downstairs. I can see how this type of behavior would have been very out of place in the club lounge. I’d be miffed if I paid extra for club level and two jerks were in there yelling about gross stuff while I’m trying to enjoy my wine.

A club lounge would be considered more upscale and elegant and certainly not the place to discuss what they were. But that's on them if they wanted to act like ruffians. The OP didn't say how loud they were speaking. Still, a confrontation just isn't warranted. Maybe tell an employee if it is that bothersome.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I think swearing is legal in most states... I think there are a few where there may be laws on the books. I would have just taken it upon myself to move further away from them.

 

[QueenIsabella]

To me, the obvious answer would be to mention it quietly to the staff, and let them handle it. Places like this always have at least one person to refresh snacks, clear trash, etc. The employee could hear the language for themselves and said something, no need for the OP to get directly involved with the (ahem!) gentlemen.