Depressed

I think you should wait until you see how his treatment is going, etc., before making a decision to cancel or go by yourself.

I wanna extend this, because I think a lot of people are saying what I was feeling.

It's October. Your best friend is in chemo. Things are going to be rough for him for awhile. Maybe you can offer help by providing meals for him, going to Dr.'s appointments, and just being a good friend. That sounds like what you are doing so far.

When January comes around, and he's continuing his chemo, maybe he's settled in to this treatment. He'll be doing it for a few months. It will be old hat by then, right? Terrible, but at least it's the routine. So maybe he wants you to go so he doesn't feel like he's dragging you down with him. He's fine. He's getting chemo. You're a great friend. Etc.

So wait. Maybe things will improve. Maybe he'll be fine. Maybe he won't -- and then you cancel. But if he doesn't want you to feel guilty and/or he's keeping you from your favorite vacation, you should at least hold off on cancelling until you know how things are going.

Does that make sense?
 
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RONANDANNETTE , No we are not married, but joined at the hip for close to 25 years. In a million years I never thought I would even be thinking about taking a trip without him. I never in a million years would have thought he would get this dreaded disease. I cry every night and day that he has to go thru this, but I will do all i can to make sure he comes out a winner
Then I think you have your answer. Stay close until this crisis passes and maybe distract and encourage both of you by spending time planning a very special trip when he is fit enough to go again. I wish you both well. :flower3:
 
Then I think you have your answer. Stay close until this crisis passes and maybe distract and encourage both of you by spending time planning a very special trip when he is fit enough to go again. I wish you both well. :flower3:
thank you again !!!
 


Also, when you get to Disney and that person who you have always shared this with is not there with you, will you really enjoy yourself ??? As much as you want to go, it just will not be the same at all. I hope he gets better quick and you can go back together very soon.
 
Also, when you get to Disney and that person who you have always shared this with is not there with you, will you really enjoy yourself ??? As much as you want to go, it just will not be the same at all. I hope he gets better quick and you can go back together very soon.[/QUOT

I appreciate your kind words. Thank You
 
Don't judge low-key too harshly. Not everyone knows here that he is a very, very serious form of cancer survivor, went through some grueling treatments himself, and it was touch and go for him for a while (which he didn't share publicly until he was quite a ways past it).

He has always been a friend to us on the Breast Cancer Survivors thread, long before he had cancer himself. That means he regularly stopped by to give us encouragement when very few others here did. That says something about him as far as I'm concerned.

My guess, being familiar with him and his writing style, is that he was thinking much along the lines of what Flightless Duck was thinking, but his writing style isn't as polished.

Honestly, when I saw this thread myself I got a pang of thinking that if the OP is feeling depressed over a trip changing, she should try going through what said friend is going through. In other words, it did seem a little selfish. (I see now you've explained about being there for your partner but prior to that post, that wasn't known here. And thank you, btw, for being there.)

But one who hasn't been through it themselves may not realize this, so that's why I passed it over relatively quickly. The only reason I'm even responding is to maybe help shed light on where low-key is coming from.

Sorry if this comes off as rude, OP, I don't mean it to. But sometimes you really have to keep things in perspective. In my family, after my own cancer experience, we have a saying: "If everyone's healthy, we can get through anything". Health crises are some of the worst and hardest things we can ever deal with.
 


Thank you pea and me. At this point my life is on hold because of this damn disease. My mom dies from breast cancer and I hate the mention of the word.
I am and will do whatever I can do and I would never ever stop doing for him. I have cancelled all plans that we have had and all plans that I had . Nothing I do is without thought of him.
As far asLow Key is concerned I found his comment disgusting. He does not know me or my situation and how dare he judge. I do understand what you said about his own battle and that alone should have kept him from judging. I am glad he is well and wish that for my friend also.
Your post did nit come across as rude, but rather kind. Thank you
 
If it were me I would cancel the trip and see how he is after treatment. You can always keep it in the back of your mind to go later in the spring. If he's able to go on a later trip it'll be even more special. If he can't then you did your best to include him. Disney will always be there.
 
Thank you pea and me. At this point my life is on hold because of this damn disease. My mom dies from breast cancer and I hate the mention of the word.
I am and will do whatever I can do and I would never ever stop doing for him. I have cancelled all plans that we have had and all plans that I had . Nothing I do is without thought of him.
As far asLow Key is concerned I found his comment disgusting. He does not know me or my situation and how dare he judge. I do understand what you said about his own battle and that alone should have kept him from judging. I am glad he is well and wish that for my friend also.
Your post did nit come across as rude, but rather kind. Thank you
I understand that sentiment because I always felt that way myself. Until it became part of my personal history.

And I certainly understand caregiver burnout - I'm a nurse myself and care for very sick people, plus I take care of my 93 yr mother. We got away for a [needed] quick trip recently and up until we boarded the plane I was worried it might not happen somehow. So I totally get what you're saying.

I hope that you get to go away, whether you choose to go by yourself on the original trip, or you wait until later. In order to take care of others, we need to take care of ourselves, too. :flower3
 
Thank you pea and me. At this point my life is on hold because of this damn disease. My mom dies from breast cancer and I hate the mention of the word.
I am and will do whatever I can do and I would never ever stop doing for him. I have cancelled all plans that we have had and all plans that I had . Nothing I do is without thought of him.
As far asLow Key is concerned I found his comment disgusting. He does not know me or my situation and how dare he judge. I do understand what you said about his own battle and that alone should have kept him from judging. I am glad he is well and wish that for my friend also.
Your post did nit come across as rude, but rather kind. Thank you

I too am a breast cancer survivor ... give it up on Low Key as he speaks the truth. I do sympathize with what you've done for your partner. That's what people who love each other do. However, I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you either. How could you even consider going on vacation when your soulmate and partner for 25 years is still in cancer treatments? My DH and I have been married for over 25 years and going to WDW together since 1997 I would cancel in a freaking heartbeat because being with my husband/partner/soulmate during and after cancer treatments is far more important than seeing Mickey Mouse for the thirty-first time. Stay home with your partner and reschedule your trip. I'm sorry this isn't the answer you're looking for.
 
f it were me I would cancel the trip and see how he is after treatment. You can always keep it in the back of your mind to go later in the spring. If he's able to go on a later trip it'll be even more special. If he can't then you did your best to include him. Disney will always be there.

That is most likely what will happen. As long as he gets well. That is the main thing.
 
understand that sentiment because I always felt that way myself. Until it became part of my personal history.

And I certainly understand caregiver burnout - I'm a nurse myself and care for very sick people, plus I take care of my 93 yr mother. We got away for a [needed] quick trip recently and up until we boarded the plane I was worried it might not happen somehow. So I totally get what you're saying.

I hope that you get to go away, whether you choose to go by yourself on the original trip, or you wait until later. In order to take care of others, we need to take care of ourselves, too. :flower3
It is so hard and it takes it all out of you. I will do the best I can do for him and I hope myself as well. Right now my focus is on him, when it all settles down and I know he is on the right path to recovery , i will turn a bit of that focus on me.
I know I can not be a help to anyone if i am burnt out.
 
too am a breast cancer survivor ... give it up on Low Key as he speaks the truth. I do sympathize with what you've done for your partner. That's what people who love each other do. However, I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you either. How could you even consider going on vacation when your soulmate and partner for 25 years is still in cancer treatments? My DH and I have been married for over 25 years and going to WDW together since 1997 I would cancel in a freaking heartbeat because being with my husband/partner/soulmate during and after cancer treatments is far more important than seeing Mickey Mouse. Stay home with your partner and reschedule your 31st trip. I'm sorry this isn't the answer you're looking f
 
When DH was deployed and not able to go on our planned trip in December 2006, he told me to go ahead and take the kids (he was in training before going to Afghanistan).

So the kids and I took and 8 X 10 picture of him with us and took pictures of him where ever we went, even with some of the characters. It was fun, and brought him close when apart.

ETA: After reading your updates, I would probably just postpone and wait for the trip until he's finished with treatment. Sympathies.
 
robinb , knowing him as I do , he would feel guilty if I cancelled. I want to go, but will probably wait till he is better. Disney will be here always.
too am a breast cancer survivor ... give it up on Low Key as he speaks the truth. I do sympathize with what you've done for your partner. That's what people who love each other do. However, I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you either. How could you even consider going on vacation when your soulmate and partner for 25 years is still in cancer treatments? My DH and I have been married for over 25 years and going to WDW together since 1997 I would cancel in a freaking heartbeat because being with my husband/partner/soulmate during and after cancer treatments is far more important than seeing Mickey Mouse. Stay home with your partner and reschedule your 31st trip. I'm sorry this isn't the answer you're looking f

robinb Actually a few minutes ago , I told him I was cancelling and he asked me to wait until he gets a full time line from his dr.
The trip can easily be rescheduled and I have no problem doing that.
 
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@Pea-n-Me said it perfectly in regards to @low-key. I don’t post all that much but always read and try and keep up a bit. It’s his style and he has gone through treatments himself. He’s a good guy and good friend here on the community board. He’s here for everyone and will be the first to say “hey”.

Okay, after reading your updates, I think that it is becoming clearer to you what you want to do. For my family, if one is ill and can’t go, we would postpone. Doesn’t mean no forever, just not right now.
 
@Pea-n-Me said it perfectly in regards to @low-key. I don’t post all that much but always read and try and keep up a bit. It’s his style and he has gone through treatments himself. He’s a good guy and good friend here on the community board. He’s here for everyone and will be the first to say “hey”.

Okay, after reading your updates, I think that it is becoming clearer to you what you want to do. For my family, if one is ill and can’t go, we would postpone. Doesn’t mean no forever, just not right now.

correct, it is clear and certainly I will not go without him. The trip would not mean the same.
Thank you for your words. I do appreciate them.
as far as Low Key, I feel the way I feel, and believe that he was rude, judgmental and all around cruel in his response. To say shame on you to a person in distress is just not ok by me.
 
Honestly, I wouldn't go alone. Disney World will still be there, you can either reschedule or revisit going alone at a later date.
 

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