“Mrs. Curtis, did you hear me? It’s your husband’s life or your case of Wonka Bars.”

Chipperdini

DIS Veteran
Joined
Feb 28, 2001
Or, in my case, it’s my ice cooler of fresh-picked black raspberries (with some goldens tossed in just because).

Who can take a bramble
Sprinkle it with dew…

The Berry-Man can!



It has been more than a decade since I’ve had the chance to enjoy the fairest food of them all, and I’m beginning to salivate over the fact that -- barring any unforeseen tragedies or patience-trying delays -- I’m going to be in berry-heaven in about 15 hours.

Strike that. But don’t reverse it; add to it. Make that about 15 hours plus another 650 miles worth of driving hours.

I’ve got a berry ticket
I’ve got a berry twinkle in my eye…


‘Cause I’ve got a berry ticket
I’ve got a berry sun up in the sky…



For the record, sometimes I worry just a wee bit about DH’s safety when he drives long distances without me. My concern increases or decreases based upon how non-exhausted he is, as well as how he’s feeling emotionally.

This particular trip I’ve been worried almost as much as when DH drove from Ohio, to Georgia, to Maryland and back to Ohio a few days before our wedding nearly 18 years ago. This time it's just a somewhat oft-traveled drive to Ohio from Georgia and back again (with a week to not take the time to rest in between the leaving and the returning), BUT -- this trip also just so happens to be during black raspberry season!!!!! (Insert DIS-crashing amount of happy, hyper, heart-throbbing smiley-thingies.) So it was extra-important that DH arrive in Ohio in one functioning piece, and it is even more extra-important that he arrives back in Georgia in at least enough functioning pieces to transfer the delicious "berried treasure" to its rightful recipient, i.e. me. pirate:

Now don’t get me wrong: I do miss my husband, and I very much look forward to when he is home again. I would be truly heartbroken if something happened to him such that his next bed is a just-big-enough-for-one pine box. After all, he’s bearing berri-- er, that is to say he’s forbearing, and berry uh, I mean very, um, funny, and sweet and delicious and black -- no, DH is white -- and juicy and so mouthwatering you could just sink your teeth into... and, well, what’s not to eat, right? No, love! I meant to say what’s not to LOVE, right? :love:

I’ve got a berry ticket
I’ve got a berry chance to eat away…



Of course it goes without saying that if DH makes it home all right but those precious black pearls don’t, he is a dead man. :duck: I am no longer a pacifist. Hopefully “the raspberries didn’t make it” would fall under Georgia’s “he needed killin’” defense. If not, well, y’all can probably guess what my last meal will be. ;)



“Mrs. [McLeach], did you hear me? It’s your husband’s life or your case of [black raspberries].”


(silence/pause)


“How long will they give me to think it over?” :scratchin


:scratchin

:scratchin

:scratchin

:idea:

Blackraspberry2.jpg



:p:teeth::jester:

And with a berry ticket
It’s a Happy Day!
:) :sunny:
 
LOL, I wouldn't want to stand between you and those berries!
 
LOL, I wouldn't want to stand between you and those berries!

Wise woman. ;)

It's probably for the berry best that there are no little ones around whom I could trample in my charge to the door when DH gets home. I do have a couple of cats, though... Good thing they have nine lives, eh?
 
This has got to be one of the funniest posts I've ever read on here. I am sorry that your obvious intellect and wit has been lost on people that don't deserve/understand it.

I am still cracking up....

The only problem, you seemed to have bumped into the ceiling while drinking fizzy lifting berryjuice which must now be scrubbed and washed so you get nothing ma'am. Good day.

...ooompa loompa doompa dee doo, I've got another puzzle for you...Oompah loompah doompah dee dee, if you are wise you'll listen to me...

What do you get when your berries are bad? Your hubby didn't bring them and that would be sad...

Blaming the bush is a crime and a shame..you know exactly who's to blame...

Your hubby and the coooolerrrr.....(echo) your hubby and the coooollerrr..
 


Watch your back - Augustus Gloop might be on his way to inhaling your berries. He's not so picky, you know.

Come with me, and we'll be, in a world of Berrymagination.
 
Watch your back - Augustus Gloop might be on his way to inhaling your berries. He's not so picky, you know.

Come with me, and we'll be, in a world of Berrymagination.

are you implying snozberries taste like snozberries and black raspberries taste like black raspberries?
 
This has got to be one of the funniest posts I've ever read on here. I am sorry that your obvious intellect and wit has been lost on people that don't deserve/understand it.

I am still cracking up....

The only problem, you seemed to have bumped into the ceiling while drinking fizzy lifting berryjuice which must now be scrubbed and washed so you get nothing ma'am. Good day.

...ooompa loompa doompa dee doo, I've got another puzzle for you...Oompah loompah doompah dee dee, if you are wise you'll listen to me...

What do you get when your berries are bad? Your hubby didn't bring them and that would be sad...

Blaming the bush is a crime and a shame..you know exactly who's to blame...

Your hubby and the coooolerrrr.....(echo) your hubby and the coooollerrr..

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Cheers to the OP for the best post all week & cheers to the best response to any post all week! :banana:

Jean
 


God you could make some delicious pie from those...
 
“The suspense is terrible -- I hope it [won’t :p] last!”

IncogNeat-o said:
This has got to be one of the funniest posts I've ever read on here.

Neat-o that you found it amusing, Incog. Thanks. :) I’d recommend reading around a bit more and a bit longer, though. (June 2007, 25 posts *cough* ;))

I am sorry that your obvious intellect and wit has been lost on people that don't deserve/understand it.

Serious question: Do I know you by another username? Your comment strikes me as being both “full of truth” and devoid of it at the same time. (I don’t mean that as a slam.)

Serious comment: I very much disagree with your comment. JMHO.

I am still cracking up.…

Silly question: Are you a good egg, or a bad one? Tell the truth. Don’t make me have to get out my educated egg-dicator. ;)

Silly comment: (Nah, changed my mind. Too silly. :p)

The only problem, you seemed to have bumped into the ceiling while drinking fizzy lifting berryjuice which must now be scrubbed and washed so you get nothing ma'am. Good day.

:teeth:

I object! I was not PUIB! At least, not yet… :crazy:

...ooompa loompa doompa dee doo, I've got another puzzle for you…Oompah loompah doompah dee dee, if you are wise you'll listen to me…

I like puzzles. And if you are wise, you won’t try to come between me and my black raspberries.

What do you get when your berries are bad? Your hubby didn't bring them and that would be sad…

A not-so-Chipper Chipperdini and a not-so-Chipper Mr. Chipperdini.

Or a bunch of oddly-colored short guys in unflattering pants coming out to sing salt into one’s wounds.

Or something.

Blaming the bush is a crime and a shame..you know exactly who's to blame…

So you’re a Republican? Regardless, if you hijack this thread with politics, I’ll…I’ll…I’ll stain your blouses/dress shirts with black raspberry juice.

Your hubby and the coooolerrrr.....(echo) your hubby and the coooollerrr..

This time, perhaps. Last time, it was all my fault. :sad2: Lost a whole heaping quart out of the 13 quarts he’d picked for me. Never did get all the stain out of that car’s passenger side carpet… But anyway.

Back to drooling in anticipation… *slobber*

Blackraspberry3.jpg
 
Watch your back - Augustus Gloop might be on his way to inhaling your berries. He's not so picky, you know.

When it comes to black raspberries, I AM Augustus Gloop. :blush: I could live on those things. I would give my firstborn child if I had one for even a mere pint... ;):jester:

Come with me, and we'll be, in a world of Berrymagination.

Now you've got me singing. Best cover your ears. ;)

------------

jonestavern - Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks. :)

------------

Uuaww said:
God you could make some delicious pie from those...

DH would agree with you, and he did indeed have a slice of black raspberry pie a couple days ago. But me? I cry, "Blasphemy!" Black raspberries should never, ever be cooked. They should be plucked from the vine, and plopped into my mouth post-haste. ::yes::
 

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