A difficult confession

I guess I could do something like that. I suppose I'm somewhat of a snob. We've always stayed club level at deluxe resorts. I didn't consider that. But, I guess if a bed and TV are all I care about...maybe. I just really wanted a Castle view to put a smile on my face.
If I was planning on staying in my room I would go for the deluxe (if I could afford it). If I am going to be spending very little time in my room then I go value.
 
I’m always thrilled to stay anywhere on property. Downright awestruck when I walk into Wilderness Lodge at Christmas.
 
I agree with those feelings too if things were normal. But No fireworks No Castle lights.... $$$
And honestly right now I have had my fill of sitting in front of tv or computer since last March . At POP I pay up for preferred pool view so I can see and hear the guests and the children having fun ... all day long. I can walk over to get on a SkyLiner round trip day or night views. More fun to walk around during day & night cause guests always decorate the windows for birthdays or holidays! Seriously need to know children still can enjoy life And we all want to be a child on Disney property.
Save your money for the return of a real Castle View.
 
So is life... a few hours ago I picked up the guitar and belted out a song like I never have. I was going to do it again and record to post here, but I sang with such intensity the first time, I have a sore throat now :)

As Charlie Brown says, +insert famous quote here+

But, I know doom and gloom gets very old very quickly. So, I say this: it was cathartic. It released a lot of pent up emotion.
 
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So... Hi.

I don't mind saying this because we are all Disney fans.

I'm an alcoholic. but I am not in recovery. I have had a drink for the last 13 months, every day, and counting. I want to stop, and these forums are helping me to slow. Disney gives me hope. Reading these forums gives me solace.

I have faith that I will stop someday. I just don't know how that will happen. The physical pain that comes with withdrawals is almost unbearable. I also run the risk of seizure and stroke. But, it only takes three days to get past the danger zone.
Hi. My husband is an alcoholic who just celebrated 40 years of sobriety. You can do it!! You have to decide that there are only two options left: 1) Sober 2) Dead. Find a group, find a sponsor, get the help you need and deserve. You can do it! You really can. I wish you strength and help!!
 
Hi. My husband is an alcoholic who just celebrated 40 years of sobriety. You can do it!! You have to decide that there are only two options left: 1) Sober 2) Dead. Find a group, find a sponsor, get the help you need and deserve. You can do it! You really can. I wish you strength and help!!

I just realized like any good alcoholic, I've been incredibly selfish. I've barely responded to anyone and have even less done something as easy as hit the "like" button. Congratulations to your husband for 40 years. I don't think I'll make it that far. I already have severe health problems as a result. But, what time I have left, I'll enjoy disbands, the podcast, disney, and seafood :).

I've decided not to see anymore Dr's. I just don't want to know anymore. I'm too young to die, and there is some evidence that if you know how sick you are, the quicker you visit Walt. :)
 


I'd also like to say this...

Most people refer to us as drunks. Most people don't believe this is a disease. I'm a 42 year old professional. I own my home. I don't live on the streets. I'm clean shaven and uphold my responsibilities in terms of bills and civic duty.

For those of you who think this is simply a "choice," Please reconsider. This is a disease. Yes, people can't choose to have cancer or diabetes or hepatitis, and yes, I have more control than people who have things like that, but it isn't as simple as it might sound. But next time you see a homeless person on the side of the road with a bottle, instead of thinking that person is a drunk, buy them a sandwich.
 
Hey all,

None of you know who I am, but please do something for me... take a step back and think about the spouses and pets you have lost. Think about the good times you have had. Be glad for the experiences you had at Disney. Be glad for picking "stuff" up when the pets "go."

Be glad for having to hold your wife's hair while she gets sick.

When you lose these things, you never get them back.
 
Hello, I have read through the entire thread. I have a heavy heart ❤️ for you, what you have lost, what you are going through. I sadly know loss (es), what they can do.
We have no power to change yesterday, the day before, we can only start each day new. I wish for you the strength to start a new chapter today, for all the tomorrow’s that are coming. My daughter took her life 3 years ago this week at 18, that will never change. That is her in my avatar. I know not your struggle, because being raised my an alcoholic father, I just could never go there, but I know struggling to survive.
What I want to say is YOU MATTER, you are enough, and you have a friend in me. You want to reach out, please do it. But know again YOU MATTER. You are loved. 🥰
 
Hello, I have read through the entire thread. I have a heavy heart ❤ for you, what you have lost, what you are going through. I sadly know loss (es), what they can do.
We have no power to change yesterday, the day before, we can only start each day new. I wish for you the strength to start a new chapter today, for all the tomorrow’s that are coming. My daughter took her life 3 years ago this week at 18, that will never change. That is her in my avatar. I know not your struggle, because being raised my an alcoholic father, I just could never go there, but I know struggling to survive.
What I want to say is YOU MATTER, you are enough, and you have a friend in me. You want to reach out, please do it. But know again YOU MATTER. You are loved. 🥰

I'd like to "like" post, but can't. I'm sorry for your loss.

The reason I can't "like" is because there was pain.
 
I picked up my guitar yesterday. That was OK. I looked a job up on Disney... they laid off 20 something thousand jobs. I have my XBOX hockey game, and school, which at 42, I'm tired of.

This place is really my own way to get out of this :)

At this point, I'm glad I have this.

ANOTHER EDIT: If you have a nice pair of socks and good pajamas, put them on.... they're comforting.
 
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Hello, I have read through the entire thread. I have a heavy heart ❤ for you, what you have lost, what you are going through. I sadly know loss (es), what they can do.
We have no power to change yesterday, the day before, we can only start each day new. I wish for you the strength to start a new chapter today, for all the tomorrow’s that are coming. My daughter took her life 3 years ago this week at 18, that will never change. That is her in my avatar. I know not your struggle, because being raised my an alcoholic father, I just could never go there, but I know struggling to survive.
What I want to say is YOU MATTER, you are enough, and you have a friend in me. You want to reach out, please do it. But know again YOU MATTER. You are loved. 🥰

I just realized...
You said "You Have a Friend in Me" Everything comes back to disney!
 
Just an update to anyone following. It's soupy here in Florida today. I haven't been in my pool in about a month. I'm taking another small step forward today and spending a small amount of time in my pool and getting much needed vitamin D from the sun.

It's not getting easier, but I'm a guy, I need to cowboy up.
 
This is hard to type because I'lm shaking...I had another binge (like a moron). But, tomorrow is day1.

If you don't know what a binge feels like, The surge of the alcohol feels so comforting. Then you come down and shake, get nauseous, and sweat like the the beast. It hurts. You shake. You can't sleep.

It's so much worse than the flu.
 
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Ummm.. so yeah, I had a replapse. My spelling may not be so great. I'm sweating and shanking like a wild animal. Pleased me a favor, do EVERYTHING you can do discourage your kids from alcohol. I've been through 3 sets of clothes already from sweats, and the pain is terrible.

But if you care, music is soothing for anything.

EDIT: also, just sitting in my recliner thinking about the haunted mansion :)

Another edit: It helps to write, even though it takes some time because my hands aren't working so well.
 
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