A interesting concept

tinkerbellandeeyor

DIS Veteran
Joined
Aug 4, 2011
For those that are married do you ever think to thank your in laws for your dh or dw I never have thanked my mil for dh fil passed when dh was a kid

But my mom was telling dh he should thank my dad for me I am trying to see where she is coming from I get that my parents raised me but I also believe I am my own person just like dh is his own person

The thought that I am my parents property just because they raised me just rubs me the wrong way not that I am not greatful but once adulthood is reached don't you become your own person
 
For those that are married do you ever think to thank your in laws for your dh or dw I never have thanked my mil for dh fil passed when dh was a kid

But my mom was telling dh he should thank my dad for me I am trying to see where she is coming from I get that my parents raised me but I also believe I am my own person just like dh is his own person

The thought that I am my parents property just because they raised me just rubs me the wrong way not that I am not greatful but once adulthood is reached don't you become your own person
Tinkerbell, you are your own person. When you got married you cleaved to your husband not your parents. So the decisions you make are between you and your husband. Even I as a mother know my children are their own person. If they would like advice I am there to give advice, not to tell them what to do. I did the best job I could in raising them. But they choose to live their life. I do love my children but they can not cling to me , nor I to them. :hug::hug:
 
I do appreciate how my in laws raised my DH and I think he appreciates the family I was raised in. We are kind, decent people whose families of origin have a lot to do with who we have become. Just as I think DH and I have shaped our kids into the people they are. Not so much to be thanked, but to be kind, decent people.

I see this coming to fruition as DS will be married in August to a young lady from a good, stable family background. Not to say that a good family background guarantees or lack of one doesn't guarantee a kind, decent adult. But just that it makes it easier to know how to be a good person.

So many in our society have life more difficult because they don't have a solid family or good adult foundation and that to me is sad.
 


I am very lucky that I have a fantastic relationship with my in laws....my MIL passed away back in 1996 but we got along great. My FIL is still here and lives nearby. We get along wonderfully and he is always at our house or we are visiting him. I have thanked them a few times over the years for raising a very good man but not because someone told me to but because I genuinely wanted to.

MJ
 
Yes, my DDIL has thanked me for raising my son. And her mother has also thanked us for the "wonderful gift" we gave them of such a great young man for a son in law. It is really just a nice way to complement the parent on raising a fine adult. Doesn't mean you were their property.
 
I do appreciate how my in laws raised my DH and I think he appreciates the family I was raised in. We are kind, decent people whose families of origin have a lot to do with who we have become. Just as I think DH and I have shaped our kids into the people they are. Not so much to be thanked, but to be kind, decent people.

I see this coming to fruition as DS will be married in August to a young lady from a good, stable family background. Not to say that a good family background guarantees or lack of one doesn't guarantee a kind, decent adult. But just that it makes it easier to know how to be a good person.

So many in our society have life more difficult because they don't have a solid family or good adult foundation and that to me is sad.

Totally agree!

MJ
 


Yes, my DDIL has thanked me for raising my son. And her mother has also thanked us for the "wonderful gift" we gave them of such a great young man for a son in law. It is really just a nice way to complement the parent on raising a fine adult. Doesn't mean you were their property.
I actually did the same too. My DH is the man he is because of how he was raised, and I know it was a lot of work, love and dedication. I thanked them for making him the man I love so much. I think they appreciated hearing it.

DH hasn't thanked my parents for me, but the way he treats them, they know how much he respects and loves them.
 
I am very lucky that I have a fantastic relationship with my in laws....my MIL passed away back in 1996 but we got along great. My FIL is still here and lives nearby. We get along wonderfully and he is always at our house or we are visiting him. I have thanked them a few times over the years for raising a very good man but not because someone told me to but because I genuinely wanted to.

MJ

Thank you for bringing light to what my mom was trying to say now I understand perfectly where she is coming from I can't believe I did not see it that way earlier
 
As far as DH goes, I should smack them, not thank them. He turned out good despite the way his parents raised him, not because of them. They were awful.
 
I am very lucky that I have a fantastic relationship with my in laws....my MIL passed away back in 1996 but we got along great. My FIL is still here and lives nearby. We get along wonderfully and he is always at our house or we are visiting him. I have thanked them a few times over the years for raising a very good man but not because someone told me to but because I genuinely wanted to.

MJ

I never thanked my MIL for my DH because she never would have understood what a wonderful man he was. As a parent, I think that being thanked for a wonderful adult child is a gift!

Thank you for bringing light to what my mom was trying to say now I understand perfectly where she is coming from I can't believe I did not see it that way earlier

It may not have been you, Tink. Your mom may not have explained herself in a way that made sense to you.

As far as DH goes, I should smack them, not thank them. He turned out good despite the way his parents raised him, not because of them. They were awful.

I would have gladly smacked my MIL too! She made awful look like a cake walk, and IMO should have been arrested. My DH is a good and kind man who actually petitioned the court, and was granted physical custody of that nasty woman when it was clear she was not getting proper care. His brother who also detested that witch showed up and as soon as he saw that DH was willing to take the responsibilty supported him. Both men, who were not at all cherished by their mother, were willing to be honorable.
 

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