I worked my toosh off in college b/c I was a single mom. Because of that, I have tried to make things easy for dd19, while still holding her accountable.
She saved for her 1st car and we matched what she saved. That car died this summer, so we bought her a new corolla and told her to be grateful and take care of it so it will last her 10 years and she won't have to ever have a car payment, hopefully. We pay insurance and she pays gas.
She takes out a $5k/year student loan to total $20k when she is finished with undergrad. We pay the rest...tuition, books, housing, meal plan. If she repeats a class, she pays for it. Next year she wants to live in an apartment and we said we will pay the same amount as we paid for dorm/sorority house. Above that is her problem. I will give her a monthly allowance for food. Above that is her problem, again.
If she goes out to eat, to a movie, shopping, etc...all her money.
If she goes on a trip with us, we pay. If she goes on her own (spring break, for ex) she pays. She pays for her sorority and all it entails.
Basically, we pay needs and she pays wants.
There is a 4 year time limit on this. Hopefully she graduates by then and gets a decent job after that. If not, she needs to find some roommates to share expenses with...I'm planning to downsize here soon.