Another relationship question

[Gumbo4x4]

I do have to say, there could be some issues if both halves of the couple were say extensively involved with opposite sides of an issue near & dear to both, especially if it actually impacts their lives - say one is vehemently anti-gun,and the other a gun collector. Because now, it's no longer just a difference of opinion. But, outside of a handful of extremes, politics shouldn't be the deciding factor.

 

[amberpi]

I do have to say, there could be some issues if both halves of the couple were say extensively involved with opposite sides of an issue near & dear to both, especially if it actually impacts their lives - say one is vehemently anti-gun,and the other a gun collector. Because now, it's no longer just a difference of opinion. But, outside of a handful of extremes, politics shouldn't be the deciding factor.

Yes, there is an issue like that for me but it was a non issue. if he had felt differently, I would not feel comfortable taking other steps in the relationship because it could impact my life very seriously, but it's not a problem! We're both passionate but not dogmatic. I think I've always thought that political differences would be too hard to overcome, but apparently not. You've always got to revisit how you do things, right?

 

[NHdisneylover]

Can I just say I find it odd and disturbing that an adult would ask another adult who to vote for? I wouldn't even tell my own children who to vote for however, I would give my opinion and tell them to do the research. I think that's the trouble with democracy. I can tell another uninformed person who to vote for and he will and it counts.

M husband is similar. We share the same core values----to the extent that he pays attention anymore he always agrees with me, and he paid more attention when we were younger and we always fell on the same side of issues and candidates.
Now? He is super busy, and he doesn't enjoy researching the candidates and issues to the level I do---in fact he finds it really depressing. So he trusts me to do the digging and let him know what I conclude before we vote.

Heck, a ton of people do that by voting straight party lines (trusting the party to make the decision) or only seeing the most main stream, not in depth ,reports about a candidate or issues, etc---relying on someone you know extremly well, share core values with, and know does the research, to provide you an informed decision seems to be a really GOOD method of coming to a conclusion, IMO

Similarly, I trust DS19's opinion on what tech products I ouuht to buy---he enjoys the research and knows what I want, and DH's opnion on cars (which he does enjoy getting into the details of). etc

 

[moon]

Good luck, Amberpi, and I hope things work out for you, I really do...but I just couldn't do it, esp under the current political climate. It's nor just "politics". I see it more a reflection of who they are, their values and beliefs. JMO.

 

[powellrj]

When DH and I got married 39 years ago I was the political one and he really didn’t care. I have become less political over the years and DH is almost rabid in his views and our boys agree with him and they debate the issues often. I am just numb to their debates.

As for religion, I am a believer and he isn’t, but it’s something I have and he never brings it up.

 

[Buckeye218]

No and I wouldn't even try it. Given the polar diversities of contemporary American politics, there isn't even a middle ground. If the woman I was attracted to openly espoused views and a lifestyle I vehemently reject, I can't imagine a relationship in that context. My wife is generally apolitical, but when pressed her views are much in alignment with mine.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

My DH and I started off with very different political views, but we have moved closer to the same views. It is mostly my views that have changed.

This is DH and I on politics.

We've always been united in our lack of religion - me casually and DH rabidly (probably as a result of him actually being raised with one).

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I do have to say, there could be some issues if both halves of the couple were say extensively involved with opposite sides of an issue near & dear to both, especially if it actually impacts their lives - say one is vehemently anti-gun,and the other a gun collector. Because now, it's no longer just a difference of opinion. But, outside of a handful of extremes, politics shouldn't be the deciding factor.

Yes. My dd has a heart defect and would need an abortion if she got pregnant. Can't get anymore extreme than that and believe me, I have heard it all, including in my own family.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I am an independent, so I can pretty much see the point and consider the merits of most people's political views, sans extreme left or right. My biggest "political talk" pet peeve are people who are so far to the left or right that they can't see the faults in their party or candidate (and every candidate has faults). That being said, I generally don't care to spend time in the presence of people who are that stubborn and obtuse- it almost always carries over to other parts of those kind of people's lives and views, so I guess a romantic relationship wouldn't work out anyway.

 

[PollyannaMom]

We've been married 27 years. He gets more conservative and I get more liberal as we age.

Same here. - Oddly, we started out a little bit opposite in the other direction! We sort of moved toward each other and then slightly past.

But neither of us is very into politics (we both hate social media during election season) so it really doesn't cause us huge issues.

I'd say it depends on how "into it" they are. It's one thing to have some different beliefs. It's another when someone is always talking about them, wanting to "debate," and not accepting of opposing viewpoints. That would cause a problem.

I do think this is a key. Do we sometimes cancel out each other's votes? - I'm almost sure. (We officially don't say.) But "lets watch something else" is enough to prevent any arguments.


The way I see it, relationships are like trees. If you have a strong trunk, you can branch out in different directions and still stand.
.

 

[amberpi]

Good luck, Amberpi, and I hope things work out for you, I really do...but I just couldn't do it, esp under the current political climate. It's nor just "politics". I see it more a reflection of who they are, their values and beliefs. JMO.

That's how I'd always operated, so I'm flipping the script. Who knows? I'm terrible at finding men, but going to be open minded for a bit in general, not just this guy, since previously I obviously haven't been getting it right.

Truly, I always appreciate your opinion and everyone on the Dis sharing with me. Gotta keep trying things and eventually your prince will come, right?

ETA: if you have a zillion other points of commonality, and similar cadence/source material, at some point the balance of plain old "attraction" sets in I'm starting to think.

 

[Grmnshplvr]

I could not be happy with someone that had drastically different political opinions than mine because I believe it kind of shapes who we are and has a lot to do with what kind of people we are in general. I prefer to be with people that share beliefs that are similar to mine.

I will add I am much more passionate about politics than my husband is, but for the most part we agree on political issues, and one of those issues would be a deal breaker for me if we didn't agree.

We both agree very strongly on the current administration and I dont know that our marriage would last if we didn't lol

 

[Grmnshplvr]

Who says all women are seeking a male partner?

mic drop

 

[Praying Colonel]

DW and I have shared the same political views until this past election. We have vastly different opinions on the current President. We deal with it by not discussing him and respecting each other's right to have their own viewpoint.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

DW and I have shared the same political views until this past election. We have vastly different opinions on the current President. We deal with it by not discussing him and respecting each other's right to have their own viewpoint.

DW, DD17, and I are all in agreement on both of the primary candidates for this past election. But, had DD been allowed to vote, we’d have cast votes for 3 different people LOL

 

[soccerdad72]

DW, DD17, and I are all in agreement on both of the primary candidates for this past election. But, had DD been allowed to vote, we’d have cast votes for 3 different people LOL

Minnie, Mickey and Goofy?

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Minnie, Mickey and Goofy?

I’m partial to Pluto, actually

 

[Pea-n-Me]

DW, DD17, and I are all in agreement on both of the primary candidates for this past election. But, had DD been allowed to vote, we’d have cast votes for 3 different people LOL

Do you remember that little quiz we had here during the primary for which candidates we aligned most with? It was so interesting to see where we all stood - everyone (in our family that took it) was on the same wavelength politically, but aligned most with very different candidates. Actually, none of us got the same one!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Do you remember that little quiz we had here during the primary for which candidates we aligned most with? It was so interesting to see where we all stood - everyone (in our family that took it) was on the same wavelength politically, but aligned most with very different candidates. Actually, none of us got the same one!

I have a friend who posts political stuff all year long on FB. To look at 99% of his posts, you’d think he was firmly “party X”. But, he also made it clear at election time, he was absolutely voting “party y”. Party y lines up with his views on what is to him a very important issue, so they get his votes despite appearing to go against him on almost every other topic. So it goes.

 

[Skywalker]

I could not be happy with someone that had drastically different political opinions than mine because I believe it kind of shapes who we are and has a lot to do with what kind of people we are in general. I prefer to be with people that share beliefs that are similar to mine.

I will add I am much more passionate about politics than my husband is, but for the most part we agree on political issues, and one of those issues would be a deal breaker for me if we didn't agree.

We both agree very strongly on the current administration and I dont know that our marriage would last if we didn't lol

I guess you can only say that if you are on one side of the fence. If you are on the other that is grounds for all kinds of name calling lol. Diversity is either good or it's not. Fascinating.