As parents what do you think of this

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/parents-five-year-old-boy-drowned-water-park-charged-manslaughter/

As a non parent the only thing I would have done differently is have one parent pack up the car while the other watches the kid

Disclaimer I am not a parent so no judgement from me

 

[MSLRAC]

I understand that accidents happen and kids can slip away in the blink of an eye but as a parent, you both can't focus on something like loading the car and leave the kid(s) unattended near water or any other hazard for that matter. So I honestly support charges being brought in cases like this and wish the US would do it more often (especially for all the hot car forgotten child deaths each summer).

 

[Magpie]

Yes, kids slip away all the time.

The article, however, was a bit confusing. There's very little actual detail on Charlie Dunn's death, plus a lot of detail about a little girl named Monica who drowned in her neighbour's pool. At first, the article says she snuck off while her parents slept and climbed the neighbour's fence to get to the pool, and I was thinking, "Well, then, charging the parents isn't fair!" But then, further down, we get this detail...

"While Monica’s parents were devastated at the loss, neighbors say they were constantly sleeping and never paying any attention to their kids. Police had been to their home before after the children were found wandering around the neighborhood, reports Fox News."

Well, geez, this wasn't just a one time lapse of attention by exhausted parents. It was sustained inattention and they'd been warned!

So, back to Charlie... is this a freak accident, or parents with a history of ignoring the kid and letting him wander unsupervised? How long did it take them to notice he was gone? The article doesn't say.

We lost our kids, on more than one occasion. It happens. One parent thinks the other is watching and the child disappears in the blink of an eye. My daughter almost went out a window when she was two. At three, she'd deliberately sneak away and hide in department stores (eventually earning her one and only, totally ineffective, spanking). Yes, we failed to keep an eye on her 24/7, but at least we were trying.

Whereas, there was a five year old down the street who'd come by knocking on our windows well after dark, wanting to know if our kids could come out and play. (No, they could not, because our children were not allowed to wander around after dark.) And once we went camping, and discovered a four year old wandering freely all over the site and even up to the highway. My husband tried returning him once, only to have the kid's dad act completely unconcerned and uninterested in corralling the kid. And yes, the camp was on the edge of a lake!

Some parents are truly inattentive. It's a miracle their kids make it to adulthood. It's a tragedy when they don't.

Other parents try their best and just have kids whose secret mission in life is to kill themselves and make their mum and dad look like horrible, neglectful parents.

I don't know which kind of parents Charlie had. If the first, then the charges are fair. If the second, then they're not fair.

 

[mjkacmom]

If they were sitting in their car shooting up, yes, I would think they should be charged. But parents of multiple children can lose one in an instant. A give year old isn't a toddler, it doesn't sound like they were right by the water. It's a tragic accident. I've had my share of lost kids, it's hard when the kids outnumber the adults.

 

[Mizzoufan]

Unless there is a long history of them being neglectful parents. I don't support them being charged. This is a horrible accident that these parents will never wake from. I'm sure the guilt they feel will be worse then any sentence a judge/jury can throw at them.

 

[CarolAnn856]

Not that I completely trust an article on rebelcircus.com (whatever that is), but the article claims that the parents were also charged several times in incidents going back to 2012.

 

[Mom2FiveKidz]

The fact that they pressed charges going back to 2012. To me, it says that this is a family who has a pattern.

In my experience as a teacher, bad things can happen to any family, but there are also families to whom bad things happen over and over again, because they don't learn from mistakes. I'm not sure that pressing charges would help with that, but it could be that this is a family who would benefit from supervision.

 

[MommyinHonduras]

The charges span 5 years 2012-2016. So this was not just for the one incident. I am a mother of 4 and a foster mom to many more. I have seen all levels of parenting unfortunately. It breaks me heart all around when kids are not in a safe and loving home.

 

[Magpie]

The fact that they pressed charges going back to 2012. To me, it says that this is a family who has a pattern.

In my experience as a teacher, bad things can happen to any family, but there are also families to whom bad things happen over and over again, because they don't learn from mistakes. I'm not sure that pressing charges would help with that, but it could be that this is a family who would benefit from supervision.

Yes, you're right...

"Aside from being charged for the incident where Charlie drowned, the Dunn and Smith were also given seven further child neglect charges from incidents that were said to have taken place between 2012 to 2016, reports the Daily Mail UK. It’s unclear what the circumstances were during these cases."

It sounds like they did a thorough investigation of the family and found a history of incidents dating back years.

 

[Westcoastwild]

Two thoughts:

The article is written with a clear slant towards fear mongering. I'm not familiar with the website but I'm doubting they are an unbiased professional source.

I get that kids slip away fast, but given the picture of that "lake", I don't buy that they turned their backs and the kid wandered back into the water from the parking lot. I think they must have been packing up the car while he was still playing in the water, and in that case they were certainly negligent. I see this sort of thing all the time at the public pool. A five year old should not be foot loose and fancy free near any body of water.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

If they were sitting in their car shooting up, yes, I would think they should be charged. But parents of multiple children can lose one in an instant. A give year old isn't a toddler, it doesn't sound like they were right by the water. It's a tragic accident. I've had my share of lost kids, it's hard when the kids outnumber the adults.

I agree that it was a tragic accident. However, if the kids outnumber the adults, the parents need to stop and think whether a certain destination or activity is going to be 100% safe for the kids. Can two parents keep track of the kids the entire time? Do they perhaps need to enlist other adults to come along on the trip and help? Should one parent watch the kids at all times while the other is packing the car? I work in a classroom with special needs preschoolers. Some have a tendency to get distracted and wander away from the group. I can guarantee that telling a parent we didn't keep their child safe because the kids outnumbered us would not fly. There are times when we simply don't take our kids to the playground because it's too crowded, or because the gardener is using the riding mower on the lawn, or any number of reasons. We wait until we think it's safe for our kids and we can properly keep track of them. If there's a situation that we don't think is safe, we'll stay in the classroom that day.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Two thoughts:

The article is written with a clear slant towards fear mongering. I'm not familiar with the website but I'm doubting they are an unbiased professional source.

I get that kids slip away fast, but given the picture of that "lake", I don't buy that they turned their backs and the kid wandered back into the water from the parking lot. I think they must have been packing up the car while he was still playing in the water, and in that case they were certainly negligent. I see this sort of thing all the time at the public pool. A five year old should not be foot loose and fancy free near any body of water.

I wonder if there was a lifeguard on duty and if these parents were one of the many morons that think lifeguard=babysitter @@

 

[jenilynn]

http://metro.co.uk/2017/06/22/mum-a...water-park-charged-with-manslaughter-6726271/

Here is a better article on the situation. The father was also charged with witness intimidation as well as he was also charged with one count of threats to damage or destroy property by fire in June 2017, and eight driving offences which are alleged to have taken place in January and June this year.

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree that it was a tragic accident. However, if the kids outnumber the adults, the parents need to stop and think whether a certain destination or activity is going to be 100% safe for the kids. Can two parents keep track of the kids the entire time? Do they perhaps need to enlist other adults to come along on the trip and help? Should one parent watch the kids at all times while the other is packing the car? I work in a classroom with special needs preschoolers. Some have a tendency to get distracted and wander away from the group. I can guarantee that telling a parent we didn't keep their child safe because the kids outnumbered us would not fly. There are times when we simply don't take our kids to the playground because it's too crowded, or because the gardener is using the riding mower on the lawn, or any number of reasons. We wait until we think it's safe for our kids and we can properly keep track of them. If there's a situation that we don't think is safe, we'll stay in the classroom that day.

I'm a SAHM to five kids, very close in age. Life goes on, you can't just stay home. I brought them to playgrounds, stores restaurants, pool club... all by myself. My sister and I have brought out kids to the beach (she has three). In this case, did they leave the child swimming while they packed the car, or was he told to wait by the vehicle while they packed the car. Big difference. By the time I'm packing the cR, my kids are dried off and dressed.

 

[DopeyDame]

It's really hard to tell the situation from this article.
It almost sounds like both parents left the lake area to go pack up the car, leaving little Charlie by himself near the lake. If that's what they did, then it's absolutely criminal neglect.

 

[Magpie]

http://metro.co.uk/2017/06/22/mum-a...water-park-charged-with-manslaughter-6726271/

Here is a better article on the situation. The father was also charged with witness intimidation as well as he was also charged with one count of threats to damage or destroy property by fire in June 2017, and eight driving offences which are alleged to have taken place in January and June this year.

I'm guessing the witness intimidation and threats are all linked to the drowning investigation.

This sounds like a family that is falling apart, and which likely wasn't stable beforehand either. Also, there's at least one biological father to contend with somewhere, as well. Who knows if there were custody issues, prior, or ongoing.

It's a better article, but I suspect the real situation is a whole lot messier than anyone can possibly capture in just a few paragraphs.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

It's really hard to tell the situation from this article.
It almost sounds like both parents left the lake area to go pack up the car, leaving little Charlie by himself near the lake. If that's what they did, then it's absolutely criminal neglect.

It's sounded like all three wen to the parking lot but then he went back to the lake

 

[MamaBelle4]

I am confused by this article too. From where did he wander off? Did the parents let him keep playing while they packed up the car? There aren't enough details in these stories.

However, the fact that they've been charged with neglect or investigated since 2012, leads me to believe, they were neglectful.

I will say, however, that I tend to put all my belongings BEHIND my car, then pack up my kids, THEN pack up my belongings.

 

[Westcoastwild]

It's sounded like all three wen to the parking lot but then he went back to the lake

Yeah, I don't think so. 7 child neglect charges make it a lot more plausible that they just don't pay any attention.

 

[Magpie]

I'm a SAHM to five kids, very close in age. Life goes on, you can't just stay home. I brought them to playgrounds, stores restaurants, pool club... all by myself. My sister and I have brought out kids to the beach (she has three). In this case, did they leave the child swimming while they packed the car, or was he told to wait by the vehicle while they packed the car. Big difference. By the time I'm packing the cR, my kids are dried off and dressed.

You're right. I think we, rightly, hold caregivers to a much higher standard of care than we do parents. Looking after children - even special needs children - in a structured setting in the company of other adults, from 9 to 5, is a very different proposition from raising a passel of them at home, alone for most of the day.

Even solitary home daycare operators can wait to do their shopping after the parents pick up the kids. And they're not expected to make dinner or clean the bathroom or do the laundry while they're working.

I've learned a lot from the professional childcare providers I've known. Tips and tricks and strategies that I might not have thought of on my own, such as making sure the children can put away their own clothes, reach their own coat hooks, have labeled bins for all their toys, have clear routines to follow, etc.

On the flip side, however, as a caregiver, I would likely have refused to let my very awkward young son with coordination issues run down the sidewalk. Because I would know that I'd be roasted over a fire if I sent the child home at the end of the day with injuries from falling on his face. As a parent, though, I absolutely let him run. Because I thought, well, he'll survive, and how else is he going to learn anyway? So he fell on his face a number of times, and scraped himself up pretty spectacularly, and I dried his tears and let him run again. Because my job as a caregiver would be to keep him 100% safe, while my job as a parent is to let him go and experience for himself the consequences of his actions (within reason - I'm in no way arguing for letting a child stay in or near a body of water while you go off to pack the car).

Parenting and caregiving are two very different things. And that's really for the best.