Big Sister Baby Shower

[ramee]

Also, good for them if they have the means to spoil their kid. Lol. They want to give her a party to make her happy. Sounds like the mom isn’t going to have a bunch of kids to have to keep up with the precedence set.

 

[Kitty 34]

We certainly don't want any of our Snowflakes melting at impending life events as a baby sibling!!

I will say when I had my 2nd child (with now DH) we did have a small family baby shower for me as I had no baby things anymore since my first DS was 6. I do remember giving my first son a little gift at the time; 32 years ago.

 

[AppleDumpling]

I could see the mom wanting to dote on her only child of 9 years before she has to divide up her attention. Maybe like a last hoorah similar to people’s idea of baby moon (which I never did, either. Unless you count my anniversary trip when I happened to be expecting my second).

I could see it too, but in this case, I’d do something special for the daughter before the birth. Take her on a special outing, girls weekend, etc. Don’t involve other people. Having a fancy party and expecting gifts is too indulgent and sends the wrong message, IMO.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I think this big sister shower is in honor of the big sister. Guests would bring gifts for the 9 year old as she is the focus. Like it was a birthday party.

Oh, that's another thought. - I wonder if the baby is due right around the oldest's birthday? Mom might have been worried about putting on a big party right then (either because it might get canceled at the last minute or just because it would be difficult for her at that point). Maybe this is about a bigger party now and a smaller one then?

 

[ramee]

I could see it too, but in this case, I’d do something special for the daughter before the birth. Take her on a special outing, girls weekend, etc. Don’t involve other people. Having a fancy party and expecting gifts is too indulgent and sends the wrong message, IMO.

I completely agree. If I wanted to host a party like that, I’d ask for no gifts.

I always worry about putting people in a position where they may feel obligated to do something, so rarely have big to dos that involve lots of people.

 

[mom2rtk]

If I attend, will I need to cover my plate?

 

[ramee]

Oh, that's another thought. - I wonder if the baby is due right around the oldest's birthday? Mom might have been worried about putting on a big party right then (either because it might get canceled at the last minute or just because it would be difficult for her at that point). Maybe this is about a bigger party now and a smaller one then?

Possibly. My daughter had her 3rd birthday party at chuckie cheese so I wouldn’t have to worry about set up or clean up. I had my son 2 weeks later.

So I guess that was a last moment thing to focus on her before her brother arrived because I wasn’t going to do anything. After her 1 year old birthday party, I had planned to only give her another party when she turned 5 and we’d see about possible others after that. I must have felt guilty

 

[gwynne]

If I attend, will I need to cover my plate?

Oh my, I can't stop laughing!

 

[ramee]

If I attend, will I need to cover my plate?

Would be nice. But I’d never come out and say it

 

[Skellingtonj]

Ok then I have no idea lol. Was it for the new baby or the 9 year old?? I’m honestly torn on this. And yes by all means, cover your plate. It’s tacky not to.

 

[mom2rtk]

And yes by all means, cover your plate. It’s tacky not to.

On the up side, it's probably just a paper plate. How bad could it be?

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Oh, that's another thought. - I wonder if the baby is due right around the oldest's birthday? Mom might have been worried about putting on a big party right then (either because it might get canceled at the last minute or just because it would be difficult for her at that point). Maybe this is about a bigger party now and a smaller one then?

I actually do know the answer to this one and no, the older child’s birthday won’t come around until several months after the baby’s arrival.

 

[Disneyland1084]

no real baby was involved but one of the BEST showers ever that i was involved in was for a 'fur baby'. it was a complete surprise for an older co-worker who for DECADES graciously attended and gave a gift at every freaking wedding/baby shower that was held for anyone else in the office (and there were LOTS-on average at least 1-2 a month). people would always privately remark how kind it was of her and how since she had no kids of her own we never got the opportunity to reciprocate UNTIL she made mention that she and her elderly husband were adopting a new cat (theirs had passed several months earlier) so that created a reason for us to go all out. word spread in secret so she was in tears when she walked into the break room at lunch on the monday following the adoption to find it filled with co-workers, decorations, food and enough cat toys to last all 7 lives for that new cat.

BEST SHOWER EVER

Disboards needs a love button!

 

[luvsJack]

For any shower for a second child, if the older child is young, I will give some small gift to the older child. I have also given a mom gift along with the baby gift-something for a relaxing bath, soft slippers, etc.

But this is a whole new thing for me. I guess if there were a pile of gifts, the invited guests didn’t mind so guess it’s all good. Maybe the gifts were things that would allow the older child to share with or interact with the baby? Little books she can read to her sibling, toys she can play with the baby with. Of course, as the baby grows. Not much interaction in the early months.

 

[Skellingtonj]

On the up side, it's probably just a paper plate. How bad could it be?

If it’s on the east coast, you’d be surprised.

 

[gotomu212]

A lot would depend on the invite list for me. My close family (mom, sister, brother, and our spouses/kids) do sometimes get together for fun little silly parties. Things that I would never invite a friend or extended family member too, but we’d do just to have fun. To be fair anytime we get together for a big family meal, about 4-5 times a year we have a cake- if no one has a birthday we get created. We celebrated Geaorge Washington’s Birthday with a bakery cake and birthday message to the 300 year old. The bakery people got a laugh out of that.

So if it was for just our small little group it wouldn’t be as odd as asking outsiders for gifts.

 

[dotfurio]

I think the idea is kind of cute. I'd just do something small at home with close family, though, not so over the top. At my 2nd shower I had my oldest open all the gifts, plus we had a present for her. A couple of close friends brought presents for her, too, though we didn't request anything. (showers for every baby are the norm around here)

 

[tcufrog]

Oh, that's another thought. - I wonder if the baby is due right around the oldest's birthday? Mom might have been worried about putting on a big party right then (either because it might get canceled at the last minute or just because it would be difficult for her at that point). Maybe this is about a bigger party now and a smaller one then?

My younger son was born less than a month before big brother's birthday. Normally I host birthday parties at home but because of the new baby, we had the big brother's party at a paint your own pottery place close to home. Baby bro stayed home with the babysitter.

We didn't have a big brother shower but we did do some special things for him. He was an honorary host of little brother's sprinkle. He also helped decorate the nursery and took a sibling class at the hospital. After the class we took him to a toy store to buy a doll to practice what he learned in class.

 

[scrapquitler]

This is me doing my small part to inject life into the Community Board.

I have a Facebook friend who is expecting her second child. Today, she posted pictures from the “Big Sister Baby Shower” that was held to celebrate the 9 1/2 year old daughter’s impending big sisterhood. A small venue was rented, there was a theme, decorations, centerpieces, two buffet tables of catered food, and a candy bar. There looked to be seating for about twenty, and there was a big pile of gifts against one wall. I have no idea what kind of gifts people brought to this event, though I’m sure I’ll have more information once this friend posts the rest of the pictures. She’s currently waiting to get them from the photographer. (In fairness, her sister is a photographer, so I assume this is who she was referring to in her post.) The big-sister-to-be went this morning to have her hair and nails done.

It looked like a nice event — Perhaps not “Pinterest-worthy,” but it definitely had all the trappings of a full blown baby shower. This is the first time I’ve heard of such a thing and I’ll be honest, my initial reaction is to think this is ridiculous. I understand taking efforts to make sure older siblings feel loved and included through this kind of family transition, especially if the older sibling is still very young themselves. I would think involving them in the planning and preparations and maybe giving them a special gift from mom and dad would be sufficient. But throwing them their own shower? And for a child at this age who, presumably, should be able to understand and handle this transition relatively well? It seems over the top to me.

Thoughts? Has anyone heard of this, done this, been invited to one?

I think it's ridiculous and over the top, but I have a few friends who are of the "any excuse to have a party" mentality that would probably embrace this idea.

 

[Hikergirl]

I'm in the it is ridiculous over the top camp.
If you want to do something special for your child because you are having a baby by all means do that. The minute you invite others into it and ask for gifts then you cross the tracks in to the tacky side of town.