Bridal Party or Not?

Theactualdisneyprincess

Earning My Ears
Joined
May 3, 2019
I’m on the fence about having a bridal party or not for my wedding. I’m very traditional and I feel like I may regret it, but I also feel like I can avoid a lot of drama and save a good chunk of change eliminating that.

Has anybody else been in this predicament? I feel that if I don’t have a bridal party then I can save at least $3,000 from floral, hair/makeup, and gifts for everybody. However, I feel like I may regret not having a bridal party later on - especially looking back at photos and such. And I feel like I would want to have a great music selection to play and the individuals walking down the aisle would help with that.

If you have gone back and forth about this, what made you decide one way or the other? Did you have any regrets about your decision? If so, what were they?
 

lurkyloo

The Attic was just perfect!
Joined
Aug 24, 2006
DON'T DO IT!!!

This is my No. 1 tip on my Disney Wedding Podcast episode about Top 10 Wedding Stress-Busters!

I wish more couples would ask this question before it was too late, but usually our first instinct when we get engaged is to ask everybody and their brother to be attendants because we're so excited.

HOWEVER: In 13 years of following weddings, I have seen time and again that the No. 1 cause of wedding stress is not money and it's not mothers-in-law: It's the bridal party! The stress of who to pick, who you feel obligated to pick, who's not pulling their weight or who you're asking too much of is nerve-wracking. As a former bridesmaid, I can assure you that most of them will enjoy the wedding much more if they just get to attend as a guest.

And, as you so wisely pointed out, they cost a lot of money! And you cost THEM a lot of money!

You will not regret it. All those people can still be there at the wedding making memories! You can still get a photo with each/all of them! They just won't have to fork out for an outfit they'll never wear again, and you don't have to buy them floral, cosmetology and gifts!
 

nigel-bigel

DIS Veteran
Joined
Oct 8, 2001
Lurkyloo's advice is excellent! More people = more potential for drama.

I want to add that you will still have help from your friends if they aren't bridesmaids. if they are true friends, of course they will come over and help you wrap favors or stuff envelopes or do your make-up or whatever.

Nicole
 
  • Karin1984

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 5, 2012
    For the pictures, you can still take pictures with your friends, alone or in groups. Is the $3,000 it worth to have those pictures with your friends looking just alike in the same (type of) dresses, hair and make up?
    Get the picture with your friends regardless how they look.

    For your friends walking down the aisle to a great music selection, have you considered that you will not see that happen yourself, as the bride? You will be waiting in the back while this is happening, you will only see it on video afterwards, if you go for videography. Otherwise it's just to entertain the guests. If your spouse-to-be is waiting for you at the end of the aisle, he/she will probably think 'please get on with it, where is my bride!'.

    Imagine what you can do with $3,000. Put it towards a house, a car, a honeymoon, something that sticks with you longer than those few pictures.
     

    SandyinMonterey

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 1, 2013
    I’m on the fence about having a bridal party or not for my wedding. I’m very traditional and I feel like I may regret it, but I also feel like I can avoid a lot of drama and save a good chunk of change eliminating that.

    Has anybody else been in this predicament? I feel that if I don’t have a bridal party then I can save at least $3,000 from floral, hair/makeup, and gifts for everybody. However, I feel like I may regret not having a bridal party later on - especially looking back at photos and such. And I feel like I would want to have a great music selection to play and the individuals walking down the aisle would help with that.

    If you have gone back and forth about this, what made you decide one way or the other? Did you have any regrets about your decision? If so, what were they?
    When first planning our wedding, I had decided on 3 bridesmaids (sister & 2 friends). I ended up with just my sister & my husband had his brother as best man. Honestly, I didn’t factor in cost. At the time I wanted to keep it simple. The 2 friends didn’t care if they were in the wedding party or not. They remain my dearest friends.
     

    EmilyKay

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Jan 12, 2018
    When first planning our wedding, I had decided on 3 bridesmaids (sister & 2 friends). I ended up with just my sister & my husband had his brother as best man. Honestly, I didn’t factor in cost. At the time I wanted to keep it simple. The 2 friends didn’t care if they were in the wedding party or not. They remain my dearest friends.
    That's a great middle ground, and I think that may be what I end up doing too that or just my sister and best friend, keep it simple! The less people to coordinate the better!
     

    HopperFan

    "It's a bug-eat-bug world out there, princess."
    Joined
    Sep 6, 2003
    There is ZERO need for a bridal party. They serve no purpose! They cost money and sometimes aggravation and sometimes there is in-fighting or even drama that has nothing to do with your wedding.

    When I got married I had one less than DH. I already had sister, best friend, next ring of friends and the token family member. But DH had one more. OH the drama from the SIL-to be that I didn't ask (I had my token) because she would even the numbers. I REALLY didn't want her in it so no. When I look back other than the token I have no contact with the next ring friends. If I had to do it all over again it would be my sister and best friend, and DH could have had his two brothers. That's it!

    As my kids friends get married I get to hear lots of stories and hope that my kids remember it all. Your friends can still go wedding dress shopping with you, go to bachelorette party, take one to pick flowers or decorations or whatever. They can still be engaged in different things and enjoy your excitement. And guarantee these gals would be so happy to not have to buy some dress they probably will never wear, shoes, take days off work etc. They can have the pleasure of being guests.

    And honestly ... down the road .... most the photos will sit quietly in an album.
     
  • AnnaS

    DIS Sponsoor/Veteran
    Joined
    Jul 7, 2001
    Why not just have a matron/maid of honor and a flower girl?

    Do you even need both? Do whatever makes you happy and comfortable. You can celebrate with your friends either way. Don't add more stress to it.
     



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