Canadian Buffoon's Hi Low Vacation - South Central Musings

[Mac Brew]

Hi Pkondz
I was very surprised when I went to the trip reports section and yours had N/A ont it.Didn't know what that ment so opened it and seen that it had been binned to the completed section. You must have got a shock when this happened considering that disers were still contributing (posting) to it
Last post was 4 26 am USA time and it was still binned on the same day.Hopefully you will get a reprieve so it can be completed properly. Still following.
If you start a new report you will have to tell us which section of the board it is on.

 

[pkondz]

Hi Pkondz
I was very surprised when I went to the trip reports section and yours had N/A ont it.Didn't know what that ment so opened it and seen that it had been binned to the completed section. You must have got a shock when this happened considering that disers were still contributing (posting) to it
Last post was 4 26 am USA time and it was still binned on the same day.Hopefully you will get a reprieve so it can be completed properly. Still following.
If you start a new report you will have to tell us which section of the board it is on.

Hey Mac.
"Surprised".... hmmm... not quite the word I thought of.

Still waiting to see if @OhMari will realize her mistake
and move it back where it's supposed to be.

If not, I'm not sure what I'll do.
I guess just leave this one
as one of the many uncompleted reports.

I do know that I won't update it here.

 

[pkondz]

Yay! It's been moved back!

Update coming soon.

 

[pkondz]

Heart Palpitations, Vegas Style

So this should be interesting.

Let's see...
This trip happened over half a year ago...
And I took precisely zero notes.

However!
As regards to my memory,
I can tell you what I had
for breakfast this morning!

Hmmm....
Okay, maybe that's not a huge
accomplishment, considering
it's eight o'clock in the morning,
and I'm hungry.

i.e. I haven't had breakfast.

But I remembered that!


Counts.


But you want to know about Vegas, baby!
And I'll do what I can to fill in the blanks.

Thankfully, I took a few photos while
we were there to jog my brain out of park.


Not that neutral is much of an improvement.


Nevertheless, let's begin, shall we?



This jaunt down to Vegas may not
be what you are expecting.
If you expect to see tons of Vegas Strip photos...
or even discussion of it...

Sorry.
Been there. Done that.

This was the third trip down
for both of us
(although only the second together)
and we wanted to do other things.

Did we take a helicopter ride
to see the Grand Canyon???


No.


Actually, I've yet to see
the planet's second largest canyon.
But I'm hoping to next year.
And I doubt I'll ever see the largest.
But who knows?


Whoops! Sorry! Tangent!


This was a whirlwind trip.
Just two full days and part of a third.
And we really only had one destination
in mind.


Okay.
Enough rambling.
Let's go.


December 13, 2016. 2:55pm.
Our scheduled departure time.

Okay! Contest question!
Did we leave on time?

Wait.... the contest is over...
And I have no idea.

No notes, people!


You know what throws me?
Our flight leaves at around 3pm
and gets into Vegas about 4pm.

But it's a three hour flight.
(A three hour flight.
The weather started getting rough,
The flying ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The Boeing would be lost, the Boeing would be lost.)

I don't remember if there was turbulence.
Which means there wasn't any.
Or not much, possibly.
If people had flown through the air,
smacking their noggins on the ceiling,
I would've remembered that.

Unless I smacked my noggin
on the ceiling and got short term
memory loss....

hmmm.......


There definitely may or may not
have been turbulence.
And the flight may or may not
have departed and/or arrived on time.


Precision. It's what my TRs are all about.


Sometime on Tuesday, we arrived in Vegas.
I grabbed our rental from National
and drove us to our hotel.

Of which I didn't take any photos
of the exterior.
But thanks to the wonders of Google,
it looks like this:

Ta dah!

We had booked a standard room,
but once again I did the credit card trick
and we were upgraded.

I did take a few shots of our room.
Hmmm.... I hadn't really planned
on doing a TR for this...
But either old habits die hard,
or in the back of my head
I thought I just might.

So that's our room for the next three nights.

The sun goes down early in December,
so when we got ourselves checked in,
and unpacked, it was already dark out.

We set out on foot, for someplace
that shouldn't be a total surprise
to most of you.

I mean, come on.
Did you really think I wouldn't?
It was walking distance from the hotel
for Pete's sakes!

Poker chip (and T-shirt too) in hand
we set out in the opposite direction
to find someplace to eat.

Where to eat?
If only there was someplace around?

Like... on the strip...

I know! I know!
I said we wouldn't do the strip.
And I only took one photo of it
during the entire trip.

Actually, as we walked along
that particular night, actually.

Here:

Just sort of caught my eye.
Vegas does that.

We were strolling along,
without a real plan in mind.

We did have two spots that we wanted
to eat at... no... three...
Sorry. Memory is trying realllll hard here folks.


But one spot was for breakfast,
another was for another night,
and the last wasn't on the strip...


Or was it?


We moseyed down the strip,
constantly pointing out places:
"How about there?"
"Nah. Maybe there?"
"Maybe. But what about that place?"
"No. Don't feel like it."

It was beginning to look like
we were going to starve to death
in a sea of restaurants, snack shops and food carts.

Suddenly. We stopped.
"I thought you said that was downtown?"
"I thought it was! I'm sure it was!"
"Then what's it doing here?"
"I don't know. Maybe there's more than one?
Want to go?"

And go we did.

The Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas
is famous for throwing caution to the wind.
Consider this entry from Wiki:

The Heart Attack Grill menu consists of eight burger varieties
based on number of half-pound patties: the "Single Bypass Burger",
"Double Bypass Burger", "Triple Bypass Burger", "Quadruple Bypass Burger",
"Quintuple Bypass Burger", "Sextuple Bypass Burger", "Septuple Bypass Burger",
and finally, the "Octuple Bypass Burger".
Each of the burgers can be augmented with "unadulterated"
(not drained of the grease from cooking)
bacon slices in quantities of five slices per patty,
thus five slices of bacon on the Single Bypass, ten slices on the Double Bypass,
15 slices on the Triple Bypass, and 20 slices of bacon on the Quadruple Bypass Burger and so-on.
All burgers are served, per patty, with a slice of American cheese, red onion, sliced tomato,
and Heart Attack Grill's own unique special sauce.



I personally think that the best part
of the restaurant is that the waitresses
are all dressed as naughty nurses.

And since:
1. This is a family board. And;
2. Ruby was with me.
I refrained from taking any photos of them.

Feel free to Google.
What you do on your own time,
is totally up to you!


Okay, we'll just pause a moment
until @Captain_Oblivious gets back.








Back, Mark?
Okay.


Before entering this fine dining establishment,
patrons must be properly attired.
Yes. There is a rather strict dress code.

You have to don a hospital gown to eat there.

As we entered, I was alarmed to see
that the place was practically empty.
"We just opened yesterday." Said our hostess.
Ah that explains it then...
or does it?
If it was popular... wouldn't it be
almost impossible to get into
after just opening?


Hmmmm...


We sat down and each ordered a burger.
Just a single bypass, thanks.
We split some onion rings
and I could see the disappointment
in our nurse's eyes.
"Split? Split? How.... healthy of you."

I made up for it by ordering a
Chocolate Peanut Butter shake.
Ruby had her omnipresent Diet Coke.

I do remember pointing out to Ruby
some fine print.
(if you consider bold type, large font as "fine".)

Apparently, if you don't finish your meal,
you will be subjected to a spanking.


Uhh....

To quote Danny Glover in every
Lethal Weapon movie ever made
(I believe there are 62 of them)
and subsequently every movie
he was in thereafter...

I'm too old for this shi..... stuff.

Our nurse reassured us
that we didn't have to get spanked
if we didn't want to.

Which of course made me wonder
if there were patrons who came
in to deliberately not finish their
culinary dabbling with mortality.

See? Far too old.

How was it?
I can definitely give the food there
a resounding "Meh".
I've had wayyyy better burgers.
Not the worst, not even close.
But just... well, considering the hype,
a bit disappointing.


While we dined, I noticed that a
(much younger) patron
had apparently not finished his food.

And his nurse was none too pleased with him.
A large, flat paddle was balanced in her delicate hand.
She was prepared to mete out punishment.

I looked on, ready to laugh
in amusement with the scattering
of other clientele.


The nurse stood up as tall as she could,
stretched back her hand high into the air,
and as forcefully and brutally as she could,
she lashed out at the young man's rump.


The CRA-A-A-A-CK! reverberated throughout the room.


I didn't laugh.
My jaw did however fall open in dis-belief.

I turned to Ruby and asked
"Did you see that?"
Her round, staring eyes were all the answer I needed.

I looked over and a second young man
was preparing for his chance to not sit for a week.

I noticed that while his friend had been laughing,
this one seemed to have a more...
troubled look on his face, not helped by the nurse
who was rolling up her sleeves in gleeful anticipation.

Once again the paddle connected mightily
with the presented posterior.

I admired the young man's ability
to stifle his screams.


Oddly enough, the two original
Heart Attack Grills in Tempe, AZ
and Dallas, TX have closed.
And the one we visited,
lasted less than two months.

The more popular location
on Fremont St. is still going strong
and doing quite well.

It's all about location, folks.
And masochism, I presume.
In one form or another.


After our lackluster, yet oddly entertaining meal,
we set out on our return journey to our hotel.

We did take a slight detour
into Hershey's Chocolate World.

I mean.... A whole world of chocolate?
And you really think I can walk past that?

Again, light on the photos,
but I did take this one of
just the Hershey's Kisses.

Help yourselves to the flavour
or flavours (and amount!) of your choosing.

We did, thanks.
Not for tonight.
Did you not see the amount of food we had??
But to bring home as gifts for the girls.

Suitably laden with chocolate
and our bellies full,
we returned to our room for the night.

Vegas never sleeps.
But we're old.

We do.

Vegas Baby! Chapter 2. O My​

 

[orangecats2]

We had booked a standard room,
but once again I did the credit card trick
and we were upgraded.

What's that trick? I'd love to stay there someday! Where else have you stayed?

The Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas

DH wants to go here! We're staying downtown so can walk to that location.
Still have to buy the plane tickets though. So expensive!!!

 

[KathyM2]

Sometime on Tuesday, we arrived in Vegas.
I grabbed our rental from National
and drove us to our hotel.

Cool, can't wait to hear about your take on Vegas!!

The Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas

Funny thing, saw this place when I was in Vegas last year doing the Rock N'Roll Marathon..lol goes right by...was pretty amusing to see while running lol!

I made up for it by ordering a
Chocolate Peanut Butter shake.

Had to be done! I thought you were joking about the hospital gowns when I read it but nope...in pictures...that is too funny!

 

[franandaj]

Okay, maybe that's not a huge
accomplishment, considering
it's eight o'clock in the morning,
and I'm hungry.

I'm usually not even awake at 8AM, much less hungry!

A three hour flight.
The weather started getting rough,
The flying ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The Boeing would be lost, the Boeing would be lost.

Yeah, and now I've been singing that stupid song all day.

Of which I didn't take any photos
of the exterior.
But thanks to the wonders of Google,
it looks like this:

So which one did you stay at? I see two hotels.

We had booked a standard room,
but once again I did the credit card trick
and we were upgraded.

What is this credit card trick?

Poker chip (and T-shirt too) in hand
we set out in the opposite direction
to find someplace to eat.

And here I thought you were going to the Harley Davidson Cafe, until I googled and it's permanently closed.

The Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas

Always wanted to try that, but Fran isn't as easily convinced. She doesn't like the idea of scantily clad nurses. I wanted the jello shots.

Before entering this fine dining establishment,
patrons must be properly attired.
Yes. There is a rather strict dress code.

You have to don a hospital gown to eat there.

It looks nice on you....

If it was popular... wouldn't it be
almost impossible to get into
after just opening?


Hmmmm...

Yeah, you would think there was a line out the door.

Our nurse reassured us
that we didn't have to get spanked
if we didn't want to.

Well that's reassuring!

See? Far too old.

Nah. If you're too old that makes me far close on your heels!

How was it?
I can definitely give the food there
a resounding "Meh".
I've had wayyyy better burgers.

And now you're making me crave burgers! First it was steak and a wedge salad, now this!

The CRA-A-A-A-CK! reverberated throughout the room.


I didn't laugh.
My jaw did however fall open in dis-belief.

Hershey's Chocolate World.

I'd rather go to Cadbury or Scharfenberger's Chocolate World.

Suitably laden with chocolate
and our bellies full,
we returned to our room for the night.

Vegas never sleeps.
But we're old.

We do.

I know the feeling. I need my beauty sleep.

 

[vamassey1]

Hmmm....
Okay, maybe that's not a huge
accomplishment, considering
it's eight o'clock in the morning,
and I'm hungry.

I was sitting in my hairdressers chair by 8 a.m. this morning. Can't even sleep in on a Saturday.

But you want to know about Vegas, baby!
And I'll do what I can to fill in the blanks.

Actually I really don't. I've never been. Dennis has been twice for work and has been trying to get me to go.

You know what throws me?
Our flight leaves at around 3pm
and gets into Vegas about 4pm.

But it's a three hour flight.

Would this be a paradox?

I did take a few shots of our room.
Hmmm.... I hadn't really planned
on doing a TR for this...
But either old habits die hard,
or in the back of my head
I thought I just might.

Very nice room. I'm glad old habits die hard.

We set out on foot, for someplace
that shouldn't be a total surprise
to most of you.

Nope, not surprised at all.

I mean, come on.
Did you really think I wouldn't?
It was walking distance from the hotel
for Pete's sakes!

I have to wonder if this helped you in choosing your hotel?

It was beginning to look like
we were going to starve to death
in a sea of restaurants, snack shops and food carts.

Happens to us all the time. We just can't agree on where to eat.

You have to don a hospital gown to eat there.

Apparently, if you don't finish your meal,
you will be subjected to a spanking.

I'm too old for this shi..... stuff.

Me too!

Please don't be offended but I literally LOL when I saw this. Classic.

The CRA-A-A-A-CK! reverberated throughout the room.


I didn't laugh.
My jaw did however fall open in dis-belief.

Awkward!

Oddly enough, the two original
Heart Attack Grills in Tempe, AZ
and Dallas, TX have closed.
And the one we visited,
lasted less than two months.

I can understand why.

We did take a slight detour
into Hershey's Chocolate World.

Did it smell good? I imagine it would smell like heaven.

I think you were totally justified in have your burger with bacon, onion rings, milkshake and chocolate since you walked it all off.

 

[Tracy161]

As regards to my memory,
I can tell you what I had
for breakfast this morning!

You're doing better than me!

Okay, maybe that's not a huge
accomplishment, considering
it's eight o'clock in the morning,
and I'm hungry.

i.e. I haven't had breakfast.

Okay, maybe not...

Thankfully, I took a few photos while
we were there to jog my brain out of park.


Not that neutral is much of an improvement.

I mean.... A whole world of chocolate?
And you really think I can walk past that?

I'd judge you if you did!

 

[queenbetsey]

Those were the days, weren't they?
Man, he sure can write.

Loved his style. Typos and all!



Hope you're having a blast, there!



Good! What did you get?



Oh? Another Canadian visited you?



<Pulls away bleeding and battered hand...>



Whoa.... you really like Wunderbars.
Next meeting, I'll bring more.

Or send you some if you wish.







Distraction candy. Good plan.
And you shared with lil missy.
Did she like them?

Of course she did. What kid doesn't like candy?



Oh, come on.
I'm not even in the same league
as most other writers.



It was the least I could do
for you coming out of your way
to meet me!



I met him (again) just a few weeks ago.

Wanna hear about it?

YES YES YES hope you told him how much he is missed here

 

[queenbetsey]

Those were the days, weren't they?
Man, he sure can write.

Loved his style. Typos and all!



Hope you're having a blast, there!



Good! What did you get?



Oh? Another Canadian visited you?



<Pulls away bleeding and battered hand...>



Whoa.... you really like Wunderbars.
Next meeting, I'll bring more.

Or send you some if you wish.







Distraction candy. Good plan.
And you shared with lil missy.
Did she like them?

Of course she did. What kid doesn't like candy?



Oh, come on.
I'm not even in the same league
as most other writers.



It was the least I could do
for you coming out of your way
to meet me!



I met him (again) just a few weeks ago.

Wanna hear about it?

YES YES YES hope you told him how much he is missed here

oh and she loved the smarties,,way different than the smarties down here. ours are little hard disc thingies that are a sour/sweet kind of thing.

 

[queenbetsey]

Those were the days, weren't they?
Man, he sure can write.

Loved his style. Typos and all!



Hope you're having a blast, there!



Good! What did you get?



Oh? Another Canadian visited you?



<Pulls away bleeding and battered hand...>



Whoa.... you really like Wunderbars.
Next meeting, I'll bring more.

Or send you some if you wish.







Distraction candy. Good plan.
And you shared with lil missy.
Did she like them?

Of course she did. What kid doesn't like candy?



Oh, come on.
I'm not even in the same league
as most other writers.



It was the least I could do
for you coming out of your way
to meet me!



I met him (again) just a few weeks ago.

Wanna hear about it?

YES YES YES hope you told him how much he is missed here

oh and she loved the smarties,,way different than the smarties down here. ours are little hard disc thingies that are a sour/sweet kind of thing. She asked where they came from I told her Ponzi
and she looked confused and asked you mean the one from small world? lol when we ride IASW we say Hi to the lone Canadian doll and say, hi Ponzi lol

 

[pkondz]

What's that trick? I'd love to stay there someday!

When you check in, there's two things you need to do.
1. BE POLITE!
Don't demand. Don't tell. Simply ask.
I use the phrase "If you happen to have a nice room, that would be really appreciated."

2. Fold up a $20 and hand it hidden underneath the credit card you're using to check in.


In Vegas, it almost always works.
It worked wonders for us in Hawaii on our first visit.

Where else have you stayed?

Paris and Mandarin Oriental.

DH wants to go here! We're staying downtown so can walk to that location.

It's definitely an experience!

Still have to buy the plane tickets though. So expensive!!!

Walking would be cheaper.

Might take a bit longer, though.

Cool, can't wait to hear about your take on Vegas!!

Don't expect too much!
No notes!!

Funny thing, saw this place when I was in Vegas last year doing the Rock N'Roll Marathon..lol goes right by...was pretty amusing to see while running lol!

Had to be done! I thought you were joking about the hospital gowns when I read it but nope...in pictures...that is too funny!

Nope! Ya gotta wear 'em!

 

[pkondz]

I'm usually not even awake at 8AM, much less hungry!

I'm usually not asleep at 8am.

Yeah, and now I've been singing that stupid song all day.

Earworm!

So which one did you stay at? I see two hotels.

Whoops! Did I not say?
Mandalay Bay.

What is this credit card trick?

When you check in, there's two things you need to do.
1. BE POLITE!
Don't demand. Don't tell. Simply ask.
I use the phrase "If you happen to have a nice room, that would be really appreciated."

2. Fold up a $20 and hand it hidden underneath the credit card you're using to check in.


In Vegas, it almost always works.
It worked wonders for us in Hawaii on our first visit.

And here I thought you were going to the Harley Davidson Cafe, until I googled and it's permanently closed.

I'll always pick a dealership over a mall store or whatnot.

Always wanted to try that, but Fran isn't as easily convinced. She doesn't like the idea of scantily clad nurses. I wanted the jello shots.

The nurses weren't really that big a deal.
Just another uniform really.

I'd say Hooters is probably "worse".

It doesn't really affect me one way or the other, TBH.
I just want friendly, efficient service
and a decent meal.
Preferably, a good meal.

It looks nice on you....

I don't want to wear one though!
If I do, it means I'm in a hospital!

Yeah, you would think there was a line out the door.

Not so much...

Well that's reassuring!

Nah. If you're too old that makes me far close on your heels!

Difference being I look like an old fart.
You're beautiful.

And now you're making me crave burgers! First it was steak and a wedge salad, now this!

I'm going to have to start
saying "I had the worse food here!"

Yep. Pretty much.
I am not exaggerating.
I was very shocked.

I'd rather go to Cadbury or Scharfenberger's Chocolate World.

Well... sure.
But they weren't right on the walk
back to the hotel.

I know the feeling. I need my beauty sleep.

Nah.
You need sleep, maybe.
But you don't need any beauty sleep.
You've got that one covered already.

 

[pkondz]

I was sitting in my hairdressers chair by 8 a.m. this morning. Can't even sleep in on a Saturday.

How about Sunday?
And 8am is early for a hair appointment.
Surprised they're open.

Actually I really don't. I've never been. Dennis has been twice for work and has been trying to get me to go.

Well, then go!
And if you can, spring for tickets to see Ka, by Cirque du Soleil.
Amazing. Stunning.

Would this be a paradox?

No, this is:

Very nice room. I'm glad old habits die hard.

It was a really nice room.


And if they didn't die hard,
this TR would have.

Nope, not surprised at all.

Oh, no! I've become... predictable!

I have to wonder if this helped you in choosing your hotel?

Oh, no.
We had seen most of the strip hotels
and really liked this one.

I didn't know where the Harley store was
until well after I'd booked it.

Plus we had a car, so it didn't really matter.

Happens to us all the time. We just can't agree on where to eat.

Actually, we're usually pretty good about that.
Not great... but pretty good.

Was pretty funny actually.
And not that many people have died there.

I think if they'd insisted,
we would've eaten elsewhere.

Me too!

Especially after seeing the 'end' result.

Please don't be offended but I literally LOL when I saw this. Classic.

Oh, no! Not at all!
It is funny.

Funny story.
We have friends who the husband has battled
several serious illnesses.
His wife posted a photo of him very much like that
also at the Heart Attack Grill.

Everyone thought he was back in the hospital.

Awkward!

Shocking is more like it!

I can understand why.

Interesting concept though.
But you have to follow it up
with really good food.

This wasn't.

Not bad... but quantity is not greater than quality.

Did it smell good? I imagine it would smell like heaven.

So easy to spend $$$$$$.
"I'll take some of those... oh and those... Oh! Those too..."

I think you were totally justified in have your burger with bacon, onion rings, milkshake and chocolate since you walked it all off.

Hey that's right!
Plus I don't think I indulged like that again
on that trip.

 

[pkondz]

You're doing better than me!

Yes, but...

Okay, maybe not...

... there ya go.

I'd judge you if you did!

And I wouldn't blame you!

 

[pkondz]

YES YES YES hope you told him how much he is missed here

I did. Or if I didn't, I have told him several times already.
We chat on the phone a few times a year.

oh and she loved the smarties,,way different than the smarties down here. ours are little hard disc thingies that are a sour/sweet kind of thing.

Your Smarties are what we call Rockets up here.

No child can resist (our) Smarties.
Not possible.

She asked where they came from I told her Ponzi
and she looked confused and asked you mean the one from small world? lol when we ride IASW we say Hi to the lone Canadian doll and say, hi Ponzi lol

If I ever meet her, I'll just stand stock still and just bob my head.

 

[vamassey1]

How about Sunday?
And 8am is early for a hair appointment.
Surprised they're open.

I did sleep in until 8 this morning. The guy I go to has is own shop so he starts as early as he needs to. I like to get in early and out. Too much to do on a Saturday.

Well, then go!
And if you can, spring for tickets to see Ka, by Cirque du Soleil.
Amazing. Stunning.

On one of his trips they saw a Cirque du Soleil but I don't know which one. Maybe now that it's just us most of the time we'll give it a go.

It was a really nice room.


And if they didn't die hard,
this TR would have.

Thank the heavens it didn't. Love me a pkondz trip report.

Oh, no! I've become... predictable!

On some things, yes you have.

I didn't know where the Harley store was
until well after I'd booked it.

You didn't have the location plotted out before hand? I'm impressed.

Actually, we're usually pretty good about that.
Not great... but pretty good.

Lucky for you.

Was pretty funny actually.
And not that many people have died there.

How many have died there?

Especially after seeing the 'end' result.

Best to avoid that.

Everyone thought he was back in the hospital.

Oh no! I can see that happening.

So easy to spend $$$$$$.
"I'll take some of those... oh and those... Oh! Those too..."

and more of that. . and just a bit more of those.. YUM!

Hey that's right!
Plus I don't think I indulged like that again
on that trip.

Happy to help you justify it. Remember calories don't count on vacations, even short one.

 

[SoccerDogWithEars]

So I take a break from you TR, and when I come back we have naughty nurses and paddlings. I can't leave you alone for a minute.

 

[Steppesister]

Seems I've been caught unawares of an update. I have a good excuse though, I went camping, and flying, and hiking, and swimming, and photographing, and.... But, I have read the chapter and will have to comment when I return from work tomorrow. Tonight is late shift. I'll make sure to put on my naughty nurse persona while doing my replying so all of my comments will in character.

Hope you're having a fantastic day!