Cat owners: How long should I give?

I don't anticipate fights. It's a safe zone for my cat to not be afraid that I'm concerned with.

Every time you mention your first cat you refer to her as "my cat". They are BOTH your cats now. The male seems to be settling in nicely now and your female, in order to sit outside your bedroom and stare at you with the male under your bed for 20 minutes clearly isn't terrified. If she was terrified she'd be as far as she could physically be from the male. If you choose to keep both and want to start making progress, you just let them be together. There couldn't be a more simple solution.
 
By the way the reason I "lock them up" at night specifically is because my sister is a teacher and gets up early on a daily basis and we've had problems in the past with my cats slipping out when she left or if she forgot something and had to come back inside. It gives everyone peace of mind knowing that won't happen.
 
I don't anticipate fights. It's a safe zone for my cat to not be afraid that I'm concerned with.

She will make her own safe zone. Let her decide where that is. Like I said earlier, at one point we had 6 indoor cats. They all had their own spaces that they preferred and defended from the others. Then there were neutral spaces where they hung out together. Not everyone liked each other, but they figured things out on their own and for the most part respected each others territory.
 
Every time you mention your first cat you refer to her as "my cat". They are BOTH your cats now. The male seems to be settling in nicely now and your female, in order to sit outside your bedroom and stare at you with the male under your bed for 20 minutes clearly isn't terrified. If she was terrified she'd be as far as she could physically be from the male. If you choose to keep both and want to start making progress, you just let them be together. There couldn't be a more simple solution.
Omg one person has an issue with me saying resident cat and someone else has a problem with my cat. I get they are both my cats. I'm trying to distinguish them so it's clear which one I'm talking about. Ugh
 


By the way the reason I "lock them up" at night specifically is because my sister is a teacher and gets up early on a daily basis and we've had problems in the past with my cats slipping out when she left or if she forgot something and had to come back inside. It gives everyone peace of mind knowing that won't happen.
Absolutely nothing wrong with that. We've had cats over the years that had to be put up at night for various reasons.
 
Absolutely nothing wrong with that. We've had cats over the years that had to be put up at night for various reasons.

Ours get put down in the "penalty box"(the basement) when they start driving me nuts. They like to knock things off of the counter and chew up any piece of paper they can find when I am around because they want a treat. They have us trained well. LOL
 


Which I applaud them for. We feed our cats raw meat, as is their natural diet. When we got them from the shelter, their fur was not in good shape and very rough to the touch. After we started feeding them their natural diet, their fur came in very silky and soft and full. They also defecate less on their natural diet and it does not have that horrible cat poop smell. They have plenty of foods now without any grains and fillers in it.
The new cat has been wandering to the grain food and seems to enjoy it more so I'm just going with it. I'm offering him his food but won't deny him the other since my cat eats the grain food.
My caats fur is very soft and silky and his is rough so....
 
Ours get put down in the "penalty box"(the basement) when they start driving me nuts. They like to knock things off of the counter and chew up any piece of paper they can find when I am around because they want a treat. They have us trained well. LOL

One of ours started getting shut up at night after she somehow managed to knock an entire cabinet full of dishes onto the floor at 2 in the morning. She also had an obsession with toes. Nothing like getting woken up from a deep sleep by a cat clawing your foot. Another one insisted on sleeping on my face - I was terribly allergic to her for some reason and would wake up wheezing and with swollen hands. She got shut up also.... I like breathing.
 
The new cat has been wandering to the grain food and seems to enjoy it more so I'm just going with it. I'm offering him his food but won't deny him the other since my cat eats the grain food.
My caats fur is very soft and silky and his is rough so....

Your cat was probably over eating when you switched the food. That is what made him puke. The grain foods expand in the stomach and so they feel the fullness faster. With the raw meat your cat probably has to get used to eating the right amount. I have had cats my whole adult life and used to feed them the kibble with grain like you did. Back then there were no other options. When I went to adopt these new ones I did a bunch of research and it makes complete sense to feed the cats what they eat in the wild and what nature intended. The issue with it is the price. A lot of times I just make my own meals for them. I will buy chicken, quail, rabbit, fish and cut it up for them,bones,heart and all and put it into individual tupperware containers and freeze them. I add taurine powder to it since they need more of that. This actually comes out much much cheaper then any store bought food and it best for them. And they love it.
 
Your cat was probably over eating when you switched the food. That is what made him puke. The grain foods expand in the stomach and so they feel the fullness faster. With the raw meat your cat probably has to get used to eating the right amount. I have had cats my whole adult life and used to feed them the kibble with grain like you did. Back then there were no other options. When I went to adopt these new ones I did a bunch of research and it makes complete sense to feed the cats what they eat in the wild and what nature intended. The issue with it is the price. A lot of times I just make my own meals for them. I will buy chicken, quail, rabbit, fish and cut it up for them,bones,heart and all and put it into individual tupperware containers and freeze them. I add taurine powder to it since they need more of that. This actually comes out much much cheaper then any store bought food and it best for them. And they love it.
Actually she was barely eating.
 
That is sad. Anytime you switch food it will more then likely be an issue at first.
I gave this same food to my other cats and they lived to be 18 and 15 and went outside. Only after my vet insisted I change the 15 yeaar olds diet did he stop eating and went down hill losing several pounds and then I could get him to eat anything.
I'm glad you feed your pets like people but I'm not willing to and I'm going to do what works for me and mine.
 
I give this same food to my other cats and they lived to be 18 and 15 and went outside. Only after my vet insisted I change the 15 yeaar olds diet did he stop eating and went down hill losing several pounds and then I could get him to eat anything.
I'm glad you feed your pets like people but I'm not willing to and I'm going to do what works for me and kine.

I wasn't personally attacking you. I was just posting what I feed my cats. Most don't go the natural raw route because of cost. I was giving an alternative. And I don't feed my cats "like people", just the opposite. People eat grains and vegetables and the other stuff that is in some of the cat food. Cats are obligate carnivores, in the wild they eat only meat. Which is what I feed my cats.
 
When I went to a shelter to adopt a cat, after I chose the one I wanted, I was told she was brought in with her brother. I didnt want to be the one separating the 2, so I told the worker I wanted to chose another because I only wanted 1 cat. She showed me my Gigi and said this cat is best being an only cat. She was in a cage by herself. Most others had another or multiple in their cages. We've had her 7 years (she is approx 9 now). My boys have grown and moved out. My daughter is rarely home and my husband and I both work. At times I wish I could get another to keep her company during the day. She is so sweet I feel like she would love another animal, but my brain remembers what the shelter told me and maybe she loves all humans, but another animal might not be a good idea. When the day comes that we no longer have her, if we want another pet, I'll get 2 at the same time. That way I know theyll get along.
 
Yes it's no kill.
It seemed like they were trying to scare me away but I decided to not let it dter me. Then when I called to ask for advice that is when I was told the bathroom is unfair and maybe I should bring him back.

So who is in the bathroom? I recommend using a bedroom.

Yea, you should probably bring the cat back. It really sounds as if you are struggling here. Before you do that though, watch some vids first.

I have recently assimilated 2 OLD and jealous dogs with my dd's cat. LOL. I have had cats forever though and to me while not fun, follow the rules of assimilating animals together.

This guy on YouTube is a good teaching tool for learning how to READ your animals. Very important to do this. I know it is about Bengals but his vids are a good lesson for how to do read your cat and assimilating the cats.

 

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