Child-free, but not by choice?

[PrincessSuzanne]

Suzanne, I'm so sorry I wasnt here for you when your mom passed away. The biggest of hugs that I can possibly give you this way. I know exactly how you feel as I lost my mom years ago at a very young age. She was 53, I was 29. The days are hard.. but you have your memories and they will never leave you. Even after all these years I still cry almost on a daily basis. My mom and I were very close like you and yours. Just remember that she is ALWAYS with you and watching down on you all the time. Don't be afraid to still have talks with her. I still do it. I know she is listening and no matter what any one tells you.. Its your time with her.
Hugsss my friend!

Thanks Debbie. I really appreciate the hugs. I really need them sometimes, I miss my mom's hugs, although we didn't hug that much, even though we spend so much time together and were so close. I have been better about the crying, I don't cry as much now as I did, unless I have a really bad day or have one of my what I call flash backs to that horrible day she collapsed.

Tomorrow would have been her 61st birthday and I am not looking forward to that. Her headstone is supposed to be down for me, but I haven't heard and the cemetary won't let you leave flowers without a vase. They will take them and throw them out. I guess I will have to take mt chances, because I am not going to let her go without some kind of present and to me a headstone isn't a great present.

I talk to my mom alot, especially since I am home by myself all morning before I leave for work in the afternoon. I probably don't do it as often as I should. I used to talk to my grandfather alot as a child. I catch myself calling her in the evenings from work and wondering why she hasn't called me. I miss that, she called several times each evening and she always started with "Are you busy?"

Nice to see another round of posts here. It is really great to be able to check in and see how people are doing.

We're giving up entirely on all fertility treatments and on having any more children genetically related to us. It has been an emotional journey, but I'm sort of at peace with our decision.

On the bright side, I have seven friends who have struggled with infertility issues... one has recently had twins, two are expecting twins, and one is expecting triplets, so I promise you, ladies, there is definitely hope if one can afford the sometimes exorbitant costs of medical assistance. (Not one of them is a happy "got pregnant accidentally" story; one used IVF, one used IUI, one used IVF with donor eggs and sperm, and one used a surrogate to carry her embryos. Oh, I say that, but I did have another friend struggle with secondary infertility for seven years, then suddenly get pregnant.) It is very, very strange to have so many friends suffering with infertility at once. I guess it is partially a factor of our age - we're all between 35 and 45- but it certainly is strange that I know so many families struggling. These are not people I met because of my infertility issues, these are women I have been friends with for years and years. I am truly, deeply happy for my friends that have been successful in their attempts to have children. I can't help being just a touch envious when I see so many of my friends either pregnant or "enjoying" new babies, even though I know how hard they worked for those pregnancies.

We've decided that we are going to try to adopt domestically. We've found two agencies that we think would be good fits for us, and we're scheduled to attend the orientations for both of them to see which one strikes a stronger cord with us. (Both have good reputations here in Texas, and both are known to take good care of the birthmoms and provide them with extensive counseling, which is important to us.) It's expensive, but it is no more expensive than two rounds of IVF, which we were prepared to do had the numbers been different.

Good luck to all of you!

That is wonderful for all of your friends to be having babies, especially after what they have been through. I would never hold a grudge against someone who had been through what I have. My hard feelings are towards these teenage girls that just sleep around and have multiple babies with multiple fathers and can't or won't take care of them.

My BFF had a baby almost 3 years ago and she didn't want to tell me she was pregnant at first because she had seen what I went through and still never got pregnant and she was so cautious about telling me, but she included me throughout her pregnancy and I threw her a huge shower and bought her eveything under the sun. she even called me a few hours after she was born so I could go hold her and have private time with her and the baby. She is a beautiful little girl. I hate to say we lost touch last summer though, I really miss them.

That is so nice that you can adopt, that was not an option for us and I don't know if it ever will be. I have custody of my 18 year old cousin and she is changing my feelings about having a baby all the time. Most days I am glad I don't have any. She is a good irl, but she wears you out.


I have to throw this out here, since we have all shared so much in the past. DH told me the other day, he was ready for a baby , I looked at him like he was crazy WTH, he knows what we went through in 2004/2005, I guess he just needed a reminder. I am NOT going down that road again to come out empty handed AGAIN, my body doesn't work, what part of that doesn't he understand Where was he????? Oh, yeah, he was in California with the Army for several of those months, the worst of those months, I should say I love him anyway

Suzanne

 

[want2bamommy]

Hi, Suzanne and fellow DISers! Just wondering how everyone is doing? I am doing pretty good. I have been sick the last 5 days with Bronchitis but it is on its way out and I am feeling pretty good today.

Just wanted to check in on my friends! I'm so excited to be planning a trip to the WORLD in July for Mark's 2 week R&R. I'm not sure if I have mentioned the new trip in a recent post. While I did make a reservation for 7 nights at the Beach Club we really won't know when he'll be home until 203 days before he gets here. So I'm hoping that the dates I chose will stick!

We are taking our niece, Kayla, who will be 8 at that time. I was deciding between the AKL (Savannah view) and the BC and since we are talking about July Stormalong Bay had to win out, lol.

I'm really excited but at the same time I HATE not being able to plan with any certainty!!

We are going to do the Quick Service Dining plan because the regular plan would REALLY be a waste for me after the Gastric Bypass!

We will pay for a few TS out of pocket though....
* LeCellier dinner
* Akershus dinner (I LOVE the Traditional Kjottkaker and Kayla will love the Princesses)
* Hoop Dee Doo Revue (I've done this on the last 2 trips and love it)
* Cape May Breakfast (since we'll be at the BC)

If we have to switch dates/resorts I'd like to change that to the Tusker House Character Breakfast.

I hope that everyone is doing well!! Talk to you soon!

Melissa