From prior posts it seems she goes often with her parents. While it was rude of other grandma to ask to not go with other grandparents , I can imagine why she would want some alone time. I'm always interested in family dynamics and I'm sure there must be more story here to flat out refuse a trip with the grandma.
We have only sons so I can see where, in the future, perhaps our sons will be doing more with in laws and not us. Makes me sad but also makes me determined to be an agreeable, non selfish parent/grandparent so we continue to have good relationships.
Just seeing it from other grandmas point of view, obviously not knowing back story. Can see her watching all these trips with other grandparents and she just wanted one trip without the competition as I would suspect grandkids are more comfortable with the grandparents they already travel with.
When we had our first three sons we lived by one set of grandparents. When the other set came to visit, the ones that lived close made sure to give the out of town grandparents as much time with the babies. They didn't "hog" the babies and when kids were older always incouraged the kids to play with out of town grandparents at big family gatherings. I was always empressed by that.
I have two sons and one daughter. Both of my sons want to spend time with us, not just their inlaws. One son and his wife routinely vacation with us, my oldest hates vacations. My daughter includes us on most Disney trips.
I found that the less I try to push myself into their relationships, the more time they want to spend with us.
I don’t think you should go on this trip if the other grandparent is told she can’t. If there’s friction now, your DD rejecting her MIL’s request will only further stress the relationship. And if you get to go, but not her....well that’s just not fair.
Why is this not fair? My first husbands (he was deceased) sister was invited with the rest of the family when we took our granddaughter on her first trip to Disney. My DD and DSIL were gracious when they included all of us, IMO. From the get go SIL was a pill. DD had very few requests for the trip, and had asked me to plan as I was home. SIL argued every decision, especially the choice of resort (my DD only request) WHen we arrived we have made plans to include sil's niece and nephew (Lovely adults(. From that point SIL annoyed every one on the trip but me ( apparantly I overlook a lot)
Anyway, when we planned a family trip for the following year she was not included, and all heck broke loose. DH fianlly said just take her, but the rest of the family mutinied and said they would stay home, so I planned an extra trip in August with my little DGD, my godchild (my DGD's Godmother) and my SIL. It was a nightmare, from the start She was mad that DN was with us because DGD woudl not pay all attention to her. She spent a fortune on stuff trying to outdo my DH's gifts to DGD on the prior trip, which had my DGD terribly confused, and by the end I was a mess.
Not everyone should have to be excluded from family travel because there is one who has problems playing with others. My son in law woudl never travel with his family, so DH and I should not be included? We know how to respect boundaries, they do not. My son and DDIl traveled one time with her Mom. Never again. both agreed it was horrific. So our trips together should stop?
I have no idea the family dynamics in the OP's DD situation, and I sure think tthat he shoudl be sure not to fuel this fire that may erupt, but if teh DD and her DH are on the same page then there must be a reason. I suspect that part of it stems from the fear the child will be foisted on the DD. That can be a real issue, it happens to my niece all the time. She and her DH get her brothers boys every time they are together. SHe loves them, but I rather doubt that her DH woudl agree to have them added to her responsibilities when they go to WDW. Fair is not always what you or I percieve it to be when we look at someone elses situation through our own experience and mindset.
