Dealing with the "Over-packer" ... and the intervention...

[LovesTimone]

So my friend is a over-packer... honestly it's crazy the amount of stuff she thinks she needs to bring... So what brings all this up is they are going to Italy for 15 nights... 3 nights in Barcelona, 7 nights on a cruise and the rest of the trip in Italy... Her DH told her to call me and ask me to come over and help her pack for the trip... He could not get over when we went to the Dominican that I only had a 1 checked bag and my carryon... I agreed to help.. reluctantly... I knew that she was not gonna be happy about the intervention...Her husband told her only 1 checked bag, and he is not paying for extra bags,

When I arrive she has 2 oversized luggage piece's on the bed, ( I did not know that they made them that big) yep both for her and roll on carry on and her personal item which is the biggest Vera Bradley bag they make... There are clothes everywhere, and shoes, and boots, purses/bags, jewelry and chaos....

I was like..... Whoa.... put everything back... What... NOOOOOO... yes put everything back...NOOOOOOOO......Yes everything back, we are going start with a clean slate... So she puts everything back in the closet, and drawers, and then I thought it would be a good time to step away from it, so we went to lunch and talked about what they were planning on doing, and everything related to the trip.. I was on a fishing expedition.

Once back at the house I made her put up one of the big luggage pieced... Only 1 checked bag... But... But... Nope only 1 checked bag... 1 roll on carry on and a personal item like a day bag/purse.. Your so mean...

Pick out the outfit you want to travel in... ummm... really .... no... high heels and skin tight dress are not going to work, then she said I plan on changing clothes for the overnight flight, then sleep pants and a t-shirt on the plane to sleep in... then into another outfit when we land... that would be 3 outfits for just the travel day....Nope... comfortable shoes, leggings or pants that can stretch a bit, and a comfortable shirt/blouse. Finally she decided, okay now something along those lines for the trip home yay 2 outfits down... So when I start talking about mix and match clothing, and doing laundry on the cruise...I'm not doing laundry while we are on vacation...Well now...I think you might have to, So I wrote Tide pods on the list... once she realized that she could do multiple loads at once and use her room key to charge to the room, she was on board with laundry.

After much back and forth, we had a basic wardrobe - multipurpose - throwing in couple of very casual long & short dresses for touring or use in the evening, adding in a few accessories, a few scarves 5 or 6 with 2 of them that could be used a wrap for evenings, a couple of necklaces, simple earrings, a couple of belts black, brown and fashion belt, a sweater, and a lightweight raincoat style. We then added in a couple of evening wear items... going with basic black pants, navy skirt and a basic black dress...Shoes were harder... getting her to understand that comfort was king, and style while important was just queen... Sleepwear and under garments, swim suit and cover up.

Overall it took around 5 hours to get her packed... At the end 1 check bag, 1 roll on carry on and a small day bag... ready to go... She was pretty pleased at the out come...

I'm sure she will throw in a few more items... But I did leave room for that...Will she go back to her old ways for their next trip?... who knows only time will tell.

 

[Hikergirl]

I'm an over-packer but I don't go crazy. I think 1 checked bag for 15 nights is not enough. I'm sure things could be cut down, no need to bring 10 pairs of shoes and multiple purses but if I was vacationing in Barcelona and Italy and doing a cruise, I would not want to have to do laundry. If my dh wasn't willing to pay for the extra bags, then I'd pay for them myself.

Having said that, it was nice of you to help her.

 

[RangerPooh]

Wow! I'm exhausted just reading this and I wasn't the one packing. lol. I'm an over packer, but really try to condense my things as best I can. Our family is going to Europe next summer, so I'm sure that this will be us. Our oldest is great about packing minimal, DD#2 is ok about it but can certainly pack twice what's needed when given a larger suitcase/duffel. The boys I still have to pack for otherwise they'll only bring stuffed animals and Hot Wheels, t-shirts, 1 pair of bottoms, 1 pair of undies, socks optional for an entire week (or two) trip .

 

[sunshinehighway]

So my friend is a over-packer... honestly it's crazy the amount of stuff she thinks she needs to bring... So what brings all this up is they are going to Italy for 15 nights... 3 nights in Barcelona, 7 nights on a cruise and the rest of the trip in Italy... Her DH told her to call me and ask me to come over and help her pack for the trip... He could not get over when we went to the Dominican that I only had a 1 checked bag and my carryon... I agreed to help.. reluctantly... I knew that she was not gonna be happy about the intervention...Her husband told her only 1 checked bag, and he is not paying for extra bags,

When I arrive she has 2 oversized luggage piece's on the bed, ( I did not know that they made them that big) yep both for her and roll on carry on and her personal item which is the biggest Vera Bradley bag they make... There are clothes everywhere, and shoes, and boots, purses/bags, jewelry and chaos....

I was like..... Whoa.... put everything back... What... NOOOOOO... yes put everything back...NOOOOOOOO......Yes everything back, we are going start with a clean slate... So she puts everything back in the closet, and drawers, and then I thought it would be a good time to step away from it, so we went to lunch and talked about what they were planning on doing, and everything related to the trip.. I was on a fishing expedition.

Once bag at the house I made her put up one of the big luggage pieced... Only 1 checked bag... But... But... Nope only 1 checked bag... 1 roll on carry on and a personal item like a day bag/purse.. Your so mean...

Pick out the outfit you want to travel in... ummm... really .... no... high heels and skin tight dress are not going to work, then she said I plan on changing clothes for the overnight flight, then sleep pants and a t-shirt on the plane to sleep in... then into another outfit when we land... that would be 3 outfits for just the travel day....Nope... comfortable shoes, leggings or pants that can stretch a bit, and a comfortable shirt/blouse. Finally she decided, okay now something along those lines for the trip home yay 2 outfits down... So when I start talking about mix and match clothing, and doing laundry on the cruise...I'm not doing laundry while we are on vacation...Well now...I think you might have to, So I wrote Tide pods on the list... once she realized that she could do multiple loads at once and use her room key to charge to the room, she was on board with laundry.

After much back and forth, we had a basic wardrobe - multipurpose - throwing in couple of very casual long & short dresses for touring or use in the evening, adding in a few accessories, a few scarves 5 or 6 with 2 of them that could be used a wrap for evenings, a couple of necklaces, simple earrings, a couple of belts black, brown and fashion belt, a sweater, and a lightweight raincoat style. We then added in a couple of evening wear items... going with basic black pants, navy skirt and a basic black dress...Shoes were harder... getting her to understand that comfort was king, and style while important was just queen... Sleepwear and under garments, swim suit and cover up.

Overall it took around 5 hours to get her packed... At the end 1 check bag, 1 roll on carry on and a small day bag... ready to go... She was pretty pleased at the out come...

I'm sure she will throw in a few more items... But I did leave room for that...Will she go back to her old ways for their next trip?... who knows only time will tell.

I stopped even trying with over packers. I just take the mindset that it's their mess to deal with. I'm not helping carry that luggage, get it up stairs, on transportation, anything like that. I ignore any complaints about luggage from people who pack more than they know they should.

 

[msjprincess]

I have to say if my husband called someone to come over to intervene I'd tell him where to shove the luggage.

 

[Iya]

If they want to overpack, have at it. I'm not paying for overweight or extra bags and they will be taking care of their own luggage. No, I will not wait on them or help them deal with it. Stupid actions have consequences.

 

[loves to dive]

I have to say if my husband called someone to come over to intervene I'd tell him where to shove the luggage.

My thoughts exactly. I might even give him a detailed diagram and explicit instructions on how to proceed. Thankfully, since we are divers and that is a gear heavy activity, we have learned how to pack very light on our personal items. We have been on a 14 night dive trip to Palau which included a total of 6 nights on a live aboard dive boat, one accidental night in Hawaii (plane issues) and the rest on land in Palau with one bag under 50 lbs with dive gear, one bag under 50 lbs with both of our clothes, one backpack for him as a carry on with his video equipment for underwater video, one carry on for me with our dive computers, regulators, masks (minimum required if our equipment bag got lost) one change of clothes in case the luggage got lost, one bathing suit each in case the luggage got lost, my underwater photography equipment. His laptop case with his computer. My largish purse with flying snacks, drugs, reading material, etc.

 

[Hikergirl]

I have to say if my husband called someone to come over to intervene I'd tell him where to shove the luggage.

Better yet, call one his friends to come over and show him how.

 

[CarolAnn856]

Well, this is one over-packer who would welcome any and all interventions. Seriously - feel free to offer me advice!

We're going to Europe for three weeks this summer and I am determined to pack very, very light. I refuse to make the mistakes I've made in my over-packing past. I don't mind doing laundry while traveling, as we usually build in one or two stays at an AirBnB or VRBO. The other option is to find a local laundry service.

Shoes are the biggest light-packing hurdle, since I have plantar fasciitis. We're going to Scotland where we'll do some light, short hikes, and then to Italy, where I'll want a nicer look.

 

[J'aime Paris]

In college I studied abroad for a semester. We were only allowed to have one large (camping style) backpack....for an entire semester worth of clothes, with changing weather/seasons!

 

[wvjules]

We are going to Europe for 17 days and I am taking one large suitcase and that's it. My carry on will be a tote with plane supplies; snacks, chargers, ear buds, disposable toothbrushes, etc. DBF will also have one large checked bag but his carry on will be a small carry on suitcase that will have a change of clothes for each of us and whatever else he feels he needs. I used to be an over packer but once I started traveling weekly for work I quickly learned to live on less. OH, we will also probably do laundry once during our trip. I'd rather take a few hours one night to do that than have to lug around too much luggage.

 

[Hikergirl]

Well, this is one over-packer who would welcome any and all interventions. Seriously - feel free to offer me advice!

We're going to Europe for three weeks this summer and I am determined to pack very, very light. I refuse to make the mistakes I've made in my over-packing past. I don't mind doing laundry while traveling, as we usually build in one or two stays at an AirBnB or VRBO. The other option is to find a local laundry service.

Shoes are the biggest light-packing hurdle, since I have plantar fasciitis. We're going to Scotland where we'll do some light, short hikes, and then to Italy, where I'll want a nicer look.

I'm going to suggest packing cubes if you don't already use them. I bought them on a whim and figured they were some gimmick, but I was surprised at how neat and organized they made my packing, which allowed me to fit my stuff nicely, and since I overpack it didn't feel like I had.
I also like to buy "travel" ready clothes that can be lightweight, rolled up and kind of "stuffed" without coming out of the suitcase looking like a mess.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

In my house, it’s DW. She’s had to make changes now that we travel in a compact car, but it’s been tough.

About a week befor we leave, I bring her all the bags that will physically fit in the car with the instruction to use these bags and only these bags.

Typically, the day before we leave, I’ll come home to find 1 or 2 of the designated bags empty, and 3 or 4 bags from the basement FULL.

Facepalm

 

[mousefanmichelle]

I wouldn't say I am an over packer by any means but for a week or 10 days 1 large checked bag is good for me. We are going on a cruise in a few weeks with good friends. We will be gone for 10 nights and we are flying Spirit (which charges for everything) so my friends only want a personal item on the plane to hold all of their belongings for 10n. I think they are nuts but they are cheap and don't want to pay $31 each way for a checked bag. This isn't a carry on (which also costs) but a personal item - like sm backpack or Vera bag or large purse type bag. For 10 nights. I asked about her shampoo, lotion etc and she says we will buy it when we get to Miami. I am sorry but because you are cheap and don't want to pay $62 bucks we now have to go to Walmart so you can buy your crap on our first day of vacation....no. Pack a bag and check it.

To the hubby who says he isn't paying for another bag - i would pay for it myself if I wanted it. 15 days is a long trip and I don't always want to do laundry on vacation either (i also wouldn't dream of packing jewlery and scarves and things like that - I am practical and jeans/tennis shoes, dress pants/dress and sandles would be my speed).

 

[ronandannette]

@LovesTimone I hope you aren’t taking the comments disparaging your friend’s husband personally. He obviously knows her best, and that she needed some help. I think what you did was great and you clearly have a knack for that kind of thing - obviously not everybody does. Having done a very similar itinerary last year and schlepping luggage across 2 continents, the issue was as much having the wrong stuff as having too much stuff. I’d have loved to have had your help and really loved not having to pay baggage fees.

 

[CarolAnn856]

I'm going to suggest packing cubes if you don't already use them. I bought them on a whim and figured they were some gimmick, but I was surprised at how neat and organized they made my packing, which allowed me to fit my stuff nicely, and since I overpack it didn't feel like I had.
I also like to buy "travel" ready clothes that can be lightweight, rolled up and kind of "stuffed" without coming out of the suitcase looking like a mess.

Thanks, I've looked at the packing cubes, but I'm more concerned with lugging around a heavy bag versus fitting more in. I'm definitely looking for the kinds of clothes that pack well, though.

 

[gillep]

I am an over-packer, but I have gotten much better over the years. I also can pack light if I need to, it just isn't my preference or first instinct. Shoes really kill me, I have a lot of foot pain if I try to wear the same pair consecutively, especially if I am doing a lot of standing or walking, and they can take up quite a bit of room.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

In my house, it’s DW. She’s had to make changes now that we travel in a compact car, but it’s been tough.

About a week befor we leave, I bring her all the bags that will physically fit in the car with the instruction to use these bags and only these bags.

Typically, the day before we leave, I’ll come home to find 1 or 2 of the designated bags empty, and 3 or 4 bags from the basement FULL.

Facepalm

That's a great idea. I won't be sharing it with my husband but it's a good one...

 

[ronandannette]

Thanks, I've looked at the packing cubes, but I'm more concerned with lugging around a heavy bag versus fitting more in. I'm definitely looking for the kinds of clothes that pack well, though.

This is my problem too. I can pack waaaay more weight into a bag than the airlines allow. I’m in a hotel room right now trying to figure out how to distribute everything between the checked bag and the carry-on so we don’t get hit with fees at the airport.

 

[princesspiglet]

My friends call me the queen of light packing and I go to help them all the time, so I understand exactly what the intervention is like! We went to France last year for 3 weeks and I packed everything into one hiking backpack for each of us because we knew we were going to be traveling by train and taxi only. Each person had 4 outfits (not including the one we we wore to travel) and I did laundry 3x on the trip as we stayed in AirBnB's the whole time. 2 shoes per person- one sneaker and one closed toe sandal.

Most people don't think that you can wear an outfit 2-3 times before washing, but IMHO, as long as it doesn't get up and walk away on its own...or you spilled something on it, you can wear it again without washing (as long as you wore deodorant!)