Dealing with the "Over-packer" ... and the intervention...

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

OP here, I just want to clarify something, He ( my friends DH) suggested to her( my friend) to call me... She is the one who called and asked me if I would help her. So it was her choice or decision to ask me to help... if he would have called me I would have laughed and said are you crazy....

I'm just going by what you said in your OP--

Her DH told her to call me and ask me to come over and help her pack for the trip... He could not get over when we went to the Dominican that I only had a 1 checked bag and my carryon... I agreed to help.. reluctantly... I knew that she was not gonna be happy about the intervention...Her husband told her only 1 checked bag, and he is not paying for extra bags,

You're right it was still the friend who called you and not her husband. It was however in your OP a directive from the husband. *Clearly enough people disagreed about the directive from the husband (one poster actually said "if my husband called someone to come over to intervene" so they read it the same that I did).

I did say it must be fine with you and your dynamic with your friend but the whole telling/suggesting to call a friend to help me pack is what I personally wouldn't be down for. If I feel like I cannot pack down enough to what my husband would prefer for the trip we are taking I don't need him to suggest to me to contact my friend who can do it for me. I can on my own decide that I may need help and I know just who to call. That is me personally.

My friend is one of those women that has outfits, I have seen her find someone in the store and tell them I want that outfit on the mannequin - if she buys something its a whole outfit, pants, tops, shoes, handbag, jewelry, or a scarf, for one outfit...never just a pair of pants or a top...... which is just who she is and she is a very fashion forward lady and always looks great... I basically just showed her how to mix and match the stuff she already has to make other outfits to cut back on the packing, like creating a basic color palate and working from there, adding in a few fun things, and stressing comfort with all the walking... Her DH wasn't being mean about the 1 checked bag... they are six adults and 8 kids going... so less to keep up with and more keeping up with the grandkids.

I wasn't suggesting her husband was mean about it but it still can rub people the wrong way the whole situation especially when set up as "Her husband told her only 1 checked bag, and he is not paying for extra bags,".

 

[Minnesota!]

Shoes are always such a pain! Luckily I’m a 6 and DH is an 8. I got 5 pairs into one side of our carry-on and fit a pair of flip-flops for each of us in my purse!

I think I have found the solution, suddenly, with this blizzard baring down on Minnesota - obviously I need to just live PERMANENTLY in Florida, and we all wear only flip-flops! They bend, too!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

My older son is approaching size 13 quickly... my husband wears a 15 or 16 based on what kind of shoe. Those suckers don't bend AT ALL.



Love this idea! My croc sandals take up very little room, so it's not mine I am concerned with. It's the 11 year olds size 11's and the 13 year olds size 12+ and the husband's sized 15/16. It just gets to be a lot. We used to ship stuff (diapers), but haven't needed to for a while...might have to go back to shipping just for shoes

Uh yeah you've got it worse than me that's for sure!

Yeah they don't really bend you're right. I know my husband has taken to bringing a normal sized backpack as his carryon and he stuffs one pair of shoes in there plus some other stuff which is helpful. @NHdisneylover has a great tip wouldn't have thought of that. I feel like most times I just put my shoes in my carry on or my personal item since they are much smaller than his-I wear a 6 1/2 though some shoes are a 6 and some are a 7.

 

[firecracker725]

I'd have let her pack what she wanted and then laughed like crazy when she had to haul it all over Europe. My friend and I spent 10 nights in Italy, traveling on trains. We each packed a 21 inch carry-on and a backpack/tote. We brought along Castile soap to wash out a few things in our hotel room. You couldn't pay me to haul more than that on ancient streets, up stairs, and onto trains.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Hmm, that is a tricky question for me to answer.
when we sailed MSC we were on one of their newer ships (Splendida) on a Northern European itenerary in shoulder season---which is probably pretty different as far as activities and passenger base than what you'd fine in the Caribbean.

We also booked a room in the Yatch Club, which means we only ate in that restaurant and had a pool deck/pool for exclusive YC use, all drinks included in the club, etc
Since we do not normally book that level of service on other ships (many do nto even have that) it is a bot hard for me to compare (the YC rooms are about the same size as larger balcony rooms on other ships, cost far less than suites on other lines and the service was fabulous). Outside the YC the ship always felt crowded---I think there really are ore passengers per available sq foot than on other lines. The crowds were enough that I would not book MSC outside the YC, but then again I am paeticularly crowd adverse.

On our trip, there was a very dissapointing lack of cruise staff programming. Trivia twice in a week, maybe one game a day, and never well run. I have been told this is different in the caribbean.

Food in the YC was excellent and it is so nice to be told to show up any time they are open and you will have a table. We did pop into the buffet a couple of times to check it out and the food was good.

The spa was as nice as on all other lines at half the price---they run it themselves rather than contracting with the company which runs most ships spas. I rarely use the spa on other lines due to the prices: it was nice to feel like I could enjoy a couple of massages without paying an arm and a leg for them.

Likewise, many of the add ons, from drinks to specialty dining were far cheaper than on other lines.

and the laundry! I pre bought a package to send out up to 5 0items for cleaning and pressing for 45 € I could send thing bit by bit, and they arrived back in the stateroom hung in the closet, cleaned better than our local in town services does. I told DH if we sail them again I am taking all his workshirts to be done while we vacation lol

I would sail them again, in the Yacht Club.

For all that good information. I remember seeing the Yacht Club showcased a bit on some episodes.

I can understand the crowd part for sure and it's a different way to put it as usually it's passengers per crew but passengers per sq feet gives an idea for breathing room.

Being able to just show up for food and always having a seat sounds very nice.

The drink part is what got to my husband as we started looking around at cruises and companies but I feel like I remember hearing that MSC was more moderately priced.

On the workshirt part. That's good to hear about the laundry.

That's a bummer about entertainment.

I'll have to let my husband know that at least in your experience the Yacht Club may be the route to go. We've been thinking about cruising just haven't gotten to the point of really thinking hard about it. That darn Dream Cruises show though sure puts you in the mood for cruising Thanks again for your information

 

[ksjayhawks]

I am generally not an overpacker -- I spent 3 weeks in Russia with an infant and only packed 1 bag (max 40 pounds) for both of us. However, we're going on an Alaskan cruise (not Disney) this summer and I'm not sure how I'm going to fit it all in one suitcase. Dressing for dinner? Formal nights? Ugh. I'm a one-outfit-per-day kind of person. And it sounds like the weather could be.. anything! I'm hoping that as it gets closer, I'll have a better idea.

The key is layering. I took two pairs of jeans, tennis shoes and socks, a tshirt for each excursion day, a fleece jacket, a lightweight waterproof outer jacket with hood, lightweight gloves and hat, cheap poncho. For sea days, two capris and four tops, a pair of skorts that I could slip on with one of the tops after we got back from excursions if I needed to go somewhere, also a lightweight knit jacket for on the ship. I took black pants and two tops, a long sundress, two shorter sundresses, a lightweight sweater that matched the dresses, and one nicer lightweight pant/jacket. Outfit to go home is the capris I wore on with a different top. I took one pair of sandals for around ship, one dressier pair for night. Everything coordinates so little jewelry is needed. Occasionally I will throw in an extra top. It all fits in great with plenty of room for souvenirs we might buy.
We took a backpack with us that we used to travel with then on our excursions. Stuck an extra pair of socks for each of us in the backpack as there is nothing worse than wet feet. Never needed them, but they were there just in case.

For our Caribbean cruises, I bring clothes for excursion days and swimsuits/coverups then back like for the sea days listed above. I made a list of what I used after our first cruise and it hasn't changed much over the years.

When we first started cruising, formal nights were a big thing. I took nice dressy outfits, some people were in ballgowns which required a suitcase just for them! Now it is more casual. You still see people dressed up, but not as formally as before.

I went to Europe with a group of women over 30 years ago for 39 days. We each had one carryon and one large suitcase (and they were not nearly as large as some are now) plus a purse. We washed out undergarments and tops as needed when we were in a location for more than one night.

 

[gillep]

I pack my size 7 shoes inside of my husband's size 13s

Man, we must be buying the wrong shoes, I try this every trip and I can never get my size 7 shoes to fit in his size 13s so I end up shoving his running shorts in them to save on some space, also weight is a big issue, especially with men's size 13 dress shoes!

 

[piccolopat]

Wow, so the husband treats her like a child and her own "friend" is in on it? That's offensive and rude. She's an adult. She can pack however she wants.

I don't consider it offensive or rude. The husband knew his wife had a problem and asked a friend to help. She obviously knew she had a problem and appreciated the help. Just because she is an adult doesn't mean she can pack whatever she wants. Many times packing too much can be costly (as in overweight or extra bags on a flight) or even not permitted (such as a tour to Europe). Some people just need help paring down.

 

[LovesTimone]

I'm just going by what you said in your OP--



You're right it was still the friend who called you and not her husband. It was however in your OP a directive from the husband. *Clearly enough people disagreed about the directive from the husband (one poster actually said "if my husband called someone to come over to intervene" so they read it the same that I did).

I did say it must be fine with you and your dynamic with your friend but the whole telling/suggesting to call a friend to help me pack is what I personally wouldn't be down for. If I feel like I cannot pack down enough to what my husband would prefer for the trip we are taking I don't need him to suggest to me to contact my friend who can do it for me. I can on my own decide that I may need help and I know just who to call. That is me personally.


I wasn't suggesting her husband was mean about it but it still can rub people the wrong way the whole situation especially when set up as "Her husband told her only 1 checked bag, and he is not paying for extra bags,".

I can see your point view...and totally respect it.

 

[ronandannette]

I can see your point view...and totally respect it.

A lot of people are extremely quick to want to assign unpleasant motives and take offence. The assumption was made that your friend's DH was a controlling jerk and you were a meddler. I thought that was very unfair. I'm thinking instead the event you described was actually pretty mundane and normal for how that couple, and you as their friend, relate to one another. "No actual boundaries were violated in the making of this thread." LOL!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

A lot of people are extremely quick to want to assign unpleasant motives and take offence. The assumption was made that your friend's DH was a controlling jerk and you were a meddler. I thought that was very unfair. I'm thinking instead the event you described was actually pretty mundane and normal for how that couple, and you as their friend, relate to one another. "No actual boundaries were violated in the making of this thread." LOL!

Yes, I pictured it starting something like this:

Friend’s DH: Hon, you’ve got to cut this back. It’s too many bags & I really don’t want to pay to check extra bags.

Friend: I know. I just can’t decide what to leave behind. I need to figure out how Susie does it. She travels all over with ONE bag!

Froend’s DH: You should call her. I bet she’d come over & help you.

 

[LovesTimone]

Yes, I pictured it starting something like this:

Friend’s DH: Hon, you’ve got to cut this back. It’s too many bags & I really don’t want to pay to check extra bags.

Friend: I know. I just can’t decide what to leave behind. I need to figure out how Susie does it. She travels all over with ONE bag!

Froend’s DH: You should call her. I bet she’d come over & help you.

That's pretty much how it went....I think that they got on the cruise yesterday, in Barcelona. I can't wait to here how there trip went...

 

[ronandannette]

That's pretty much how it went....I think that they got on the cruise yesterday, in Barcelona. I can't wait to here how there trip went...

Having done a very similar itinerary a year ago, I can assure you they will be having the time of their lives, despite any minor pitfalls they may encounter. And your “intervention” will certainly become part of the lore when they recount the epic tale!