Disney WITHOUT the kids - feeling guilty!

[mysterywriterv]

I've been to Disney World twice with my boys (first trip at ages 2 and 4, recently in January at ages 4 and 6) and I've always had fun, but it's a stressful trip with young kids and I feel like I spend so much of the trip fussing at them, entertaining them in lines, having them steal my food and drinks, answering a million questions, and just generally not being able to fully relax.

After we got back from our most recent trip, the free dining promotion was running and my sisters and I decided to take a girl's vacation this summer. At the time, I felt really great about booking it, but now that the trip is approaching I'm feeling SO BAD for my kids that they don't get to come, especially since that trip impacts our ability to take a big summer vacation.

My husband is planning fun things while I'm gone (like a couple of nights at Great Wolf Lodge), and I have frequent conversations with the kids kind of downplaying the trip - about how Star Wars land won't even be open yet, it's probably going to rain every day, we're going to ride all the scary rides the kids don't even like, and it's going to be super hot, so they're pretty convinced it wouldn't be any fun for them anyway, but I'm still just feeling bad about it.

Any other parents taken a disney trip without the kids? Did you feel guilty about leaving the kids behind and how did you talk to them about the trip? I've been away from the kids before for work trips, but this is different. Thanks!

Me and my wife have both gone to Disney World without each other once and with each other once without our twin boys. They are 6 now. My wife was the first who went. She went with her friend for Flower and Garden. She had a blast. I think she was worried about the guilt, but honestly the kids were fine. They were 3 at that time, so they didn't care as much. I planned a lot of things for us to do together while she was away, so they didn't really think about it until she came home with souvenirs for them.

I went alone the next time, but that trip was a much more goal oriented trip, as I was going to pick up our much older daughter who was finishing up her Disney internship. It coincided with Food and Wine. So I got to spend only two days down there. One day at the parks. We did all four parks in one day. It was something that I never thought I would ever do. I don't ever recommend it. With that being said, it was a really exhausting but rewarding experience. So as far as the boys were concerned, they were 4 at the time, and they knew I was going to Disney without them, but I was bringing their sister back with me. So the end result was something they desired.

So me and my wife went to Disney World together last April for our anniversary. We had gotten annual passes the previous summer, because we were also planning on coming back the following summer. And since we had the annual passes, we decided to go without the boys for our anniversary. We didn't tell them where we had gone until after we got back, because at 5, they would have wondered where all the Disney merch had come from. They were fine with it. I felt incredibly guilty about this trip as well. So I understand what you're feeling. But honestly once we were there, that all washed away, because the experience without kids is so much different than the experience with the kids. Not better, not worse, just completely different. And to be able to experience Disney World like that was such a unique and wonderful experience. I won't enumerate the many ways it is different, because as a mother, you will know what they are.

So I will never feel guilty. It sounds like you give your children loads of wonderful experiences and they will continue to get wonderful experiences. So let the guilt fall away and just enjoy a trip that you so clearly deserve. I would love to hear how you felt while you were there, because obviously everyone's experiences are different. I hope you have a wonderful trip.

 

[cinderaimee]

My husband died 5 years ago and I would give anything for our daughter to be able to have time with him again.

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. Thank you for giving me this perspective. The main reason why this trip is so important to me and my sisters is our mom passed away very suddenly in November and we just want to spend time together since we all are so busy all the time.

 

[kiramay]

I’ve gone without my kids twice so far. The first time with my husband for our anniversary, and the second time with my sister right before my AP expired. No guilt. They’ve gone multiple times. The trip with my husband was nice but the trip with my sister was the BEST! We hopped all over, doing whatever we wanted, getting up super early and staying up late. I hope we can do it again in a few years. (We’re sort of going together in November but with all the extended family and kids, so can’t afford another trip yet. Lol)

 

[AgentMama]

I regularly travel with my husband and without my kids, with my kids and without my husband, all of us together, or without my kids and my husband (either on my own, with friends or with my brothers and sisters/SILs). My husband travels the same, and sometimes my kids travel with family or friends without us. I don't think things have to be equal for my kids, they're lucky it often is. But my kids aren't entitled to the things I do and my husband and I are entitled to time without them. Go, have fun, and don't feel guilty. You're entitled to have a good time, regardless of who in your family is with you.

 

[Mmouse1588]

We went to Disney for our wedding anniversary when our son was 15 months old. I really did not think bringing him would be a good idea that young and we wanted time alone. While there we saw some nice family moments with ppl enjoying their babies at disney. We also saw some struggles of it as well. We enjoyed our time alone. We went back 6 months later for a mini trip and brought him. It was fun but at times soo stressful! It made me appreciate that time we had alone there. I feel like all parents need a getaway and if your ideal happiness is being at Disney instead of the Bahamas like me then you should not feel bad !!

 

[mco65]

Kids can be stressful whether your at WDW or the Mall or out eating or trying to put 'em to bed.. i get it. I think its probably normal to feel a little guilty but i wouldn't worry about it too much, Sounds like they will get their fair share of Disney in the years to come.... you could look at this as a reconnaissance mission... you might find something interesting and fun to do or you might discover a trick to make your next trip with the kids more fun!!!

 

[katandmouse]

OP, I’m in a similar boat. I’m going on a Girls Weekend with my sister and cousins this fall and it will be my first trip away from the kids since my oldest was a baby (she’s 5 now). On the one hand, I’m so excited to experience F&W, but DD keeps asking when we can go to WDW again. Luckily we are planning a big extended family trip for next year, so there’s that.
Reading everyone’s responses is helping me process my guilt as well, so thank you all!

 

[North of Mouse]

I've been to Disney World twice with my boys (first trip at ages 2 and 4, recently in January at ages 4 and 6) and I've always had fun, but it's a stressful trip with young kids and I feel like I spend so much of the trip fussing at them, entertaining them in lines, having them steal my food and drinks, answering a million questions, and just generally not being able to fully relax.

After we got back from our most recent trip, the free dining promotion was running and my sisters and I decided to take a girl's vacation this summer. At the time, I felt really great about booking it, but now that the trip is approaching I'm feeling SO BAD for my kids that they don't get to come, especially since that trip impacts our ability to take a big summer vacation.

My husband is planning fun things while I'm gone (like a couple of nights at Great Wolf Lodge), and I have frequent conversations with the kids kind of downplaying the trip - about how Star Wars land won't even be open yet, it's probably going to rain every day, we're going to ride all the scary rides the kids don't even like, and it's going to be super hot, so they're pretty convinced it wouldn't be any fun for them anyway, but I'm still just feeling bad about it.

Any other parents taken a disney trip without the kids? Did you feel guilty about leaving the kids behind and how did you talk to them about the trip? I've been away from the kids before for work trips, but this is different. Thanks!

Guilty? No way! Loved my kids, (grown now) took them to Disney, but a trip without them (being at Grammys where they loved to be) caused me no guilt whatsoever! Everybody was happy!!

 

[Christine]

My kids are now in their 20s. I certainly understand the "guilt" feelings of leaving the kids behind on a Disney trip. But just go with it. As a parent who has made it through to the other side, other relationships in your life are important and if you can maintain them, do so. Plus I think it's great that they get some one-on-one time with the other parent too! I think you will all have a good time that week!

 

[TiggerTrigger]

We spent a kid-free week at WDW in 2014. No regrets! I'm big on surprising the kids and they really thought I was going reveal at the end that they were coming too, but it was just me and DH. I did feel bad at times...like when we were at Crystal Palace, since my younger one loves Pooh and that's her must do. BUT, for the most part it was really nice. Plus, I don't think the kids would have enjoyed tagging along on our monorail crawl!

 

[glocon]

Do your family a favor and take a trip to get an AP... then all go back before it expires... you’re doing it for them after all...

 

[YesterDark]

We need a poll of what age of your children is it ok to go on a Adult Only WDW trip.

 

[cinderaimee]

Do your family a favor and take a trip to get an AP... then all go back before it expires... you’re doing it for them after all...

I like the way you think!