Disneyland and DCA Two-Day TR featuring Optimization!

[Ridewatchers]

Greetings! My name is Ridewatchers, and I am visiting DLR (DL & DCA) for the first time in twenty years! FWIW, I am normally not a fan of acronyms, but because the theme of this TR is congruent to Ridewatchers' central ethos--More Ride with Less Line--I thought using them would be the best way to give readers VIP access to the meat 'n' potatoes of this TR.

First, a word about lines:

 

[Ridewatchers]

In the corporate world, there is something called the 5 "P"s, sometimes called PPPPP or P5 or even P to the 5th power. Each "P" will be considered in turn.

Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance

 

[Ridewatchers]

1. Prior

It was by fiat. Fiat Lux: "Let There Be Light." It was probably the raking light of the halogen lamps in the living room that inspired an enlightening thought or two. If not the lamp, then the saturnine aura of the home office, which was only half-lit owing to a dead lightbulb in one of the lamps. Maybe it was fear of the "dark side," or it could have been the red notice on my electric bill indicating that power to my light saber would be cut off in 7 to 10 days.

Yes, it was Space Mountain, which, thanks to the capital expenditure process, had undergone a name change to HYPERSpace Mountain. And the 60th anniversary ads on TV helped too. And, a new park, Disney's California Adventure (DCA), had been built right next door; the cat was out of the bag.

Next, Fiat Two: the discussion continues.

 

[Ridewatchers]

2. Planning

In Beowulf, bringing down the dragon required knowledge and great skill. Thanks to the planning phase, I figured I could conjure the internal resolve needed to gut the dragon of massive wait times and dangerous slowdowns in Disney Magic.

The strategy began with the cost principle, which states that the cost of slaying miles-long lines are to be matched with the revenues they help produce.
And so, with the help of paid testimonials, I decided to join forces between two pieces of software--Ridemax and TouringPlans' routing program--in the joint tour of duty that is called Operation Disney.

Ridemax is a software program that its author claims minimizes wait time for attractions at DLR. It was written by a WDW buff, but the software had been tested by Disney aficionados here on the west coast. It solves (perhaps) a very difficult problem in the world of computing: the traveling salesman problem. More, it (likely) solves it in an intelligent way, using data collected in-park from the author, his family, and other patrons. TouringPlans (Google it) seemed and felt similar.

DLR (DL and DCA) has several attractions. Some of them have very good ratings, like Paint The Night and RSR, and others not so much. Some offer FastPass, others single rider lines, and most neither of the latter two. Others are closed for good, and a few are in refurbishment. Attractions that feed humans are attractions. The bottom line: Ridemax claims to find the best way to see everything on your list in the shortest time possible, including walking time, provided you agree to their contract.

Okay! Day 1 is Disneyland, and it was time to choose my must-sees. Matterhorn, you're in. Chip and Dale's Treehouse, sorry. And so forth until I had built my T-Rex. Note that some plans "could not be accomplished in the time allotted" because I had chosen too many things to do. After my plan was built, I figured that I would go into town during the most busy and hot times of day using the block of time that the software had allotted from about 1 PM to 6:30 PM. I scheduled a bowling trip at the local alley and possibly a trip to miniature golf. I also asked the software to figure my handicap.

Revenue expenditures would begin shortly. Since expenses are the cost of revenues, I asked the software, in effect, to calculate maximum ROI by running it across days within my meager vacation window. The weekend of the 4th was out of the question. (Added: But who knew that Disneyland would see RECORD LOW attendance for Independence Day the previous Monday!? Not me. And not the software....) Fridays and Saturdays were forbidden, too, and Sundays were not rated. Some days had EMH (which is partial 1-hour ERT for hotel guests and certain ticketholders). That left Wednesday of this week. Therefore, RevEx would take place for that day.

On-ride percentage for this plan (exclusive of shows, breaks, and parades) is about 35%. The circled numbers are references to a condensed map that I would bring along. Even though Disney had its own map, I found it too detailed for my own use and decided to play "connect the dots" with the condensed version instead, which, by the way, came from a different program. I decided to use Ridemax because some of the other program's data just didn't feel right: (1) 15 minutes for RSR in the stand-by line didn't seem right based on others' reports of waits double that and (2) there were bad variances between observed and expected crowds for several other attractions. However, I did find the map useful and decided to--yes, that's right!--map Ridemax's tour to the other program's map.

 

[Ridewatchers]

3. Prevents

Others' experiences were very important in planning for Disneyland--and that includes non-Disneyland crowds' TRs. My goal was to avoid stupid problems as much as possible:

Action item Stupid:

3A. Stupid lines

Wait-time minimization was a key success milestone to be achieved in planning for Operation Disney. The authors of Ridemax and TouringPlans were so confident in their code that they offered money-back satisfaction guarantees provided you followed their rules. The most important rule, it seemed, was getting to the parking structure at least 1 hour before 8 A.M opening.

3B. Stupid food

Others thought some of the restaurants at DL were lousy or poorly portioned. I decided on Harbour Galley since it was one of two "B" options (there were no "A"s). Breakfast was on me, and because some of the better places did not open until 6 A.M., I would likely be in trouble.

3C. Stupid cars

Planned departure at 04:55.

Action item Sordid:

3D. Sordid toilets

I would not be on location for Trainspotting, but for Disneyland. Not for Six Flags or Cedar Fair, but for Disneyland.

3E. Sordid grounds

Not for Six Flags or Cedar Fair, but for Disneyland.

Action item Torpid

3F. Torpid Ridewatchers

Rise at 04:00, Starbucks at 04:45, non-stupid dining arrangements throughout the day I hoped, and retire at some reasonable hour. Coffee = on track for attractions per touring plan.

3G. Torpid Guests or CMs

Theme parks sometimes wind down in crummy ways. But the characters never blink, and so why should we get tired?

 

[Ridewatchers]

4. Poor

Yes, Disneyland is expensive. On the financial side, I believe you ought to budget months in advance if you are interested. If you do not want to go, your wallet will be one of the first things to tell you! On the flip side of the financial side, I believe you ought to get maximal bang for maximal buck!

On the less-financial side, I found the school-of-hard-knocks-type experiences helpful:

4A. Leave the Gucci gear at home. You're going to be majoring in parades, roller coasters, and churros, not Elle magazine. And what if that ice cream cone lands on the brand-new dress or if the sunglasses get trampled by the stampedes at rope drop or sat on?

4B. Bring plastic bags. Put your iPhone (or other status gadget) in a quart-size bag so that it won't get wet or scratched.

4C. Bring a backpack. Pockets are great, but at least awkward and potentially lossy.

4D. Drink water: at least 1 cup per hour but preferably 2 or more per hour.

4E. Sunblock. Apply liberally and frequently.

 

[Ridewatchers]

5. Performance

As someone who loves coffee, it is difficult to NOT go on a crawl--and that's what happened the night prior. It was equivalent to Stumptown's high-octane blend (called Hairbender), and gee was it a bender!

So despite committing to retire NLT 21:00, I was experiencing excessive levels of caffeination and was just lying there eyes-wide-open staring at the stucco. So much for the early to bed thing, then.

After finally getting tired at 02:00, I went back to bed. But in place of the coffee rush came the excitement, and I was to rise at 04:00--just two hours from then! I felt like I was in a washing machine with how the blankets and sheets were thrown off the mattress.

So there it is: 03:45 and it's time to get up minus fifteen. The first thing was to shower, then pack a backpack: four Zip-loc bags, three 500 mL bottles of water, two-day park-hopper ticket, and phone. Sunblock at 70 SPF, wallet of course, and directions. ETD: 04:55.

Departure

Even more addictive behavior! At 04:55, it was time for coffee at Starbucks. I was asked if I wanted to wait for dark roast, and yes, what a wise decision it was.

As part of my optimization program, I decided to include non-Disney attractions. The first attraction was getting up and packing. The second: coffee. Now the third: driving.

Now I thought leaving early would have been a protection against nutcases on the road, but no: psycho-rangers and revomaniacs were everywhere. It was a miracle they didn't put me into the ditch! So much for that...I had a full breakfast planned at Norms on Euclid street.

Now Norms is the restaurant that never closes: it is a 24-7 affair, according to the company. But what of course happened?

Closed.

So now it was brute-force search for a place that was open. Argh, Denny's then. After a C-minus meal and service deal there, I was off to Disneyland!!

Arrival

It all started at 06:45, when I was directed to the Pinocchio parking lot. Ten minutes later, I had finished fiddling with my things and joined about 50 others on one of the first trams to the park. The bag screening people were perplexed by my pack with its many pockets and zippers, and I had to give a lesson on how to search the bag. After giving my lecture, I went straight to the gates (Disneyland gate #11) and joined a couple and an Englishman discussing Chelsea's exploits in the Premier League. More than that, the man had been to Disneyland a few tens of years ago and was quickly establishing himself as a recounteur.

Ridewatchers, the Boulevardier and interlocutor, was curious but equally distracted by GROWING QUEUES!!! Now that you're awake here at 07:30, it might be a good time to give you a "queue clue." The clue is that about 30 people had, on average, lined up behind the gates by this time. The good news is that this was a Disney crowd, and that the meat-on-the-runners spirit and pushing and shoving that accompanies most Premier-Park-based and Cedar-Fair-based theme parks was absent: everyone was using discretion and seemed to be in a well-ordered state.