Do You Consider Yourself a Feminist?

Do You Consider Yourself a Feminist?

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Women don’t report rape, because nothing happens to the rapist. They then get ostracized and judged for being a rape victim.

Sad but true. Remember Brock Turner?

In my case, I didn't report it either.

The police didn't believe me when they came two months earlier, because he knew how hard he had could hit and not leave a bruise. Any of the times they came. WE were told to stop fighting so loud, we were disturbing the neighbors and would get a ticket if we kept it up.

They didn't believe me the year before when he kicked my knees, dislocating my kneecap and tearing tendons..after all, I just had a bad fall down the stairs at the the apartment building, didn't I? Or the time that he pinned me in the chair and force fed me mushrooms until I vomited because "they are good and you WILL eat them" (I had politely declined to eat the spaghetti sauce at dinner at his mothers house because she made it with those vile things; I ate every thing else, including the pasta without sauce, but that was apparently offensive to her)...I guess I had the flu, from what the police put in the report.

Or the time that he put a knife under my chin and I just looked at him and said "if you are going to kill me, just do it already" because I was tired of it all. The scar there still hurts some days. I had a 'kitchen accident'.

His mama, the day I came out of the bedroom (we were living in at her home) holding my stomach and crying, asked "well why is SHE crying now". He said "I punched the b**** because she wouldn't (not dis friendly act); she responded "good, she deserved it". Yes, I refused my spouse his 'God given rights'; my daughter was in her crib at the end of the bed screaming and needed caring for, and I was apparently in the wrong for choosing to care for her needs instead of his.

The one time I did get the police to believe me (because the neighbors did call the cops every time, thank you to those strangers)...and they only believed me because he was in such a rage that he forgot to close the blinds and the cops could see through the sliding glass door as he wrapped his hands around my throat, his mama went to court and told the judge there was no way her son would behave that way. Of course, the judge listened to that upright member of the community; after all a secretary at the FBI is much more reliable a witness than a cashier at McDonald's, even if she hadn't even been in the state at the time of the attack. He didn't even get a slap on the wrist; I got a verbal beatdown by the judge in the courtroom for lying about such 'a nice boy'. That night was particularly tough; I had to call out of work for a couple of days after because he lost control and left some bruises on my face.

Hmm, I wonder why I didn't report my rape by my still-then husband. If I couldn't get them to believe the abuse, what on earth would they have said if I reported him breaking in and raping me? I would have been laughed out of the station.
 
However, once the baby is born, if the woman decides she wants to raise the child...the man (biological father) should have the right to sign away his parental rights, if he doesn't want to be in the child's life.

His rights? Or his responsibilities?

But she has the option to have an abortion if she doesn’t want the financial burden of a child. Where is his choice?

Seems to me that you are very concerned about fetus rights, and on mens rights while having no care for womens. That says a lot.

If he doesn't want to have a baby, he can very easily without pain or discomfort not put his semen into a woman. He has the easiest choice of all.
I dont disagree but it is that logic if if she doesnt want a baby she shouldnt open her legs that is such a problem.

Women don’t report rape, because nothing happens to the rapist. They then get ostracized and judged for being a rape victim.

Sad but true. Remember Brock Turner?

It is so true. They know the chances of getting justice are low,while the chances of being revicitimised by the process are high.
 
In my case, I didn't report it either.

The police didn't believe me when they came two months earlier, because he knew how hard he had could hit and not leave a bruise. Any of the times they came. WE were told to stop fighting so loud, we were disturbing the neighbors and would get a ticket if we kept it up.

They didn't believe me the year before when he kicked my knees, dislocating my kneecap and tearing tendons..after all, I just had a bad fall down the stairs at the the apartment building, didn't I? Or the time that he pinned me in the chair and force fed me mushrooms until I vomited because "they are good and you WILL eat them" (I had politely declined to eat the spaghetti sauce at dinner at his mothers house because she made it with those vile things; I ate every thing else, including the pasta without sauce, but that was apparently offensive to her)...I guess I had the flu, from what the police put in the report.

Or the time that he put a knife under my chin and I just looked at him and said "if you are going to kill me, just do it already" because I was tired of it all. The scar there still hurts some days. I had a 'kitchen accident'.

His mama, the day I came out of the bedroom (we were living in at her home) holding my stomach and crying, asked "well why is SHE crying now". He said "I punched the b**** because she wouldn't (not dis friendly act); she responded "good, she deserved it". Yes, I refused my spouse his 'God given rights'; my daughter was in her crib at the end of the bed screaming and needed caring for, and I was apparently in the wrong for choosing to care for her needs instead of his.

The one time I did get the police to believe me (because the neighbors did call the cops every time, thank you to those strangers)...and they only believed me because he was in such a rage that he forgot to close the blinds and the cops could see through the sliding glass door as he wrapped his hands around my throat, his mama went to court and told the judge there was no way her son would behave that way. Of course, the judge listened to that upright member of the community; after all a secretary at the FBI is much more reliable a witness than a cashier at McDonald's, even if she hadn't even been in the state at the time of the attack. He didn't even get a slap on the wrist; I got a verbal beatdown by the judge in the courtroom for lying about such 'a nice boy'. That night was particularly tough; I had to call out of work for a couple of days after because he lost control and left some bruises on my face.

Hmm, I wonder why I didn't report my rape by my still-then husband. If I couldn't get them to believe the abuse, what on earth would they have said if I reported him breaking in and raping me? I would have been laughed out of the station.


I’m so, so sorry. How strong you must be to survive that. I’m glad you fought back.
 
There are a lot of ways women get put down in our society, all of which you can Google for studies and the science regarding this. Doctors do not take their pain as seriously as men, and menstrual pain does not recieve much in the way of study or funding. They are often not believed when it comes to pain, so that something like ovarian cancer (see Golda Radner) goes for years undiagnosed. Same with the case of Shalon Irving, which lead to a large study of how black women are treated by doctors.

Women are offered lower starting pay than men, they are not seen as often as candidates for leadership positions, women are more likely to be the victim of domestic violence, especially gun violence. So gun control is not seen as a male/female issue. Want to know who the next school shooter is going to be? It's going to be a guy! And not a guy who was bullied because gay peole get bullied all the time but they are never the shooter either. It is hetero guys who are socially awkward and get rejected by girls. So blam, gun 'em down!

Women went for decades not believed about campus rape. So now Betsy DeVos has rolled back Obama era guidleines. Women were regualrly discouraged from filling out reports of rape off campus too, systematically their rape kits were thrown away or ignored. Oh, and reports of rape might skew the numbers on police effectiveness, so another reason to sweep it under the rug (see Adrian Schoolcraft).

I suppose many books have already been written on this subject. But my guess is that those books are not on your library shelf.
My daughters will have extensive firearms training but you are right that I don’t expect them to be mass shooters unless they are attacked by a mass of people. I intend to do everything I can so that they will never be victims of unopposed violence. Just not sure yet how to increase their aggression against aggression but hope it will come in time.

I don’t expect there will be Utopia on Earth anytime soon. In fact there are some looming technological (potentially very disruptive) and societal changes that could make things considerably worse (more dystopian). For their preparation the philosophy is hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
 
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No, the man should not have that right. The CHILD is entitled to the financial support of both parents. The father cannot opt out. It has nothing to do with the mother’s rights but with the child’s. The money is for the child.

So, if we're talking about what's in the best interest of the child -- by that logic, one could argue that the child should be entitled to be raised by two parents (via adoption, either opposite-sex or same-sex) who can financially provide more effectively for him/her than two single/unattached/disinterested biological parents can.
 
His rights? Or his responsibilities?

I'm saying the biological mother shouldn't be able to unilaterally make the decision for the biological father that "You are going to be a parent, too, because *I* want to raise this child."

If she wants to keep her baby and raise her/him as a single mother, that is her choice. But it shouldn't be her "right" to turn the biological father into a human ATM machine, if he wishes to divest himself of all legal parental rights/responsibilities.
 


No longer true, as part of the National Labor Relations Act effective 7/18/18. https://medium.com/@BlindApp/your-right-to-discuss-salaries-and-wages-in-the-workplace-f9b456f1d5bd
Also anonymous websites to trade salary, bonus, and raise information by job classification.

These Corporations know what sorts of things DOJ is focusing on. DOJ would love to hang an oil company for gender discrimination just as they did former Texaco for racial discrimination. It makes no sense they would risk what happened to Texaco to save a few bucks on salaries.

The problem is there just aren’t sufficient women pursuing and receiving engineering degrees to fill positions to bring the gender ratio to 50%. They feel therefore exposure and try to balance that with actually additional considerations for female engineers.

For something different it is very difficult for Caucasian makles to be admitted to the University of Texas medical school. I think it stand now at 65% female and 20% minorities due to quotas. As usual it will in many cases be males that will at some point file gender discrimination lawsuits. Common knowledge that the Ivy League schools have been discriminating at least against Asian Americans for some years. Quota systems are put in place so that people with higher tests scores etc can be denied admission on some other basis. Quota systems by their very nature are discriminatory otherwise they would be of no use.
 
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So, if we're talking about what's in the best interest of the child -- by that logic, one could argue that the child should be entitled to be raised by two parents (via adoption, either opposite-sex or same-sex) who can financially provide more effectively for him/her than two single/unattached/disinterested biological parents can.
No, barring abuse or neglect, children belong with and do best with their biological parents. The father (or mother, if she is not the custodial parent) just needs to pay up.

Children are not entitlements or commodities to be reassigned at will. It’s telling and disturbing that a hopeful adoptive parent would argue otherwise. Fortunately, adoption agencies and inspectors are very very good at weeding out people like this.
 
This is the very definition of choice: “You are welcome to your beliefs and I will continue mine.” Your own words. I too consider myself pro-life. I would never, under any circumstances have terminated a pregnancy. However, I strongly believe in a person’s right to choose for herself. What others do is none of my business. Given that, the availability of safe, legal abortion is essential in an evolved society. You say a person has a right to his/her beliefs. You back that statement up by having legislation in place that allows people to make a choice that you might not agree with.

Exactly.

In my case, I didn't report it either.

The police didn't believe me when they came two months earlier, because he knew how hard he had could hit and not leave a bruise. Any of the times they came. WE were told to stop fighting so loud, we were disturbing the neighbors and would get a ticket if we kept it up.

They didn't believe me the year before when he kicked my knees, dislocating my kneecap and tearing tendons..after all, I just had a bad fall down the stairs at the the apartment building, didn't I? Or the time that he pinned me in the chair and force fed me mushrooms until I vomited because "they are good and you WILL eat them" (I had politely declined to eat the spaghetti sauce at dinner at his mothers house because she made it with those vile things; I ate every thing else, including the pasta without sauce, but that was apparently offensive to her)...I guess I had the flu, from what the police put in the report.

Or the time that he put a knife under my chin and I just looked at him and said "if you are going to kill me, just do it already" because I was tired of it all. The scar there still hurts some days. I had a 'kitchen accident'.

His mama, the day I came out of the bedroom (we were living in at her home) holding my stomach and crying, asked "well why is SHE crying now". He said "I punched the b**** because she wouldn't (not dis friendly act); she responded "good, she deserved it". Yes, I refused my spouse his 'God given rights'; my daughter was in her crib at the end of the bed screaming and needed caring for, and I was apparently in the wrong for choosing to care for her needs instead of his.

The one time I did get the police to believe me (because the neighbors did call the cops every time, thank you to those strangers)...and they only believed me because he was in such a rage that he forgot to close the blinds and the cops could see through the sliding glass door as he wrapped his hands around my throat, his mama went to court and told the judge there was no way her son would behave that way. Of course, the judge listened to that upright member of the community; after all a secretary at the FBI is much more reliable a witness than a cashier at McDonald's, even if she hadn't even been in the state at the time of the attack. He didn't even get a slap on the wrist; I got a verbal beatdown by the judge in the courtroom for lying about such 'a nice boy'. That night was particularly tough; I had to call out of work for a couple of days after because he lost control and left some bruises on my face.

Hmm, I wonder why I didn't report my rape by my still-then husband. If I couldn't get them to believe the abuse, what on earth would they have said if I reported him breaking in and raping me? I would have been laughed out of the station.

I am so sorry that you wnet through this. I know that "times have changed" but your expereince says otherwise. I have tried to erase those years I endured from my own mind, but you know that is not really possible.

@luvsJack - earlier you responded to my post that my coworker would not have the fundsor the ability to either hide her pregnancy or to seek an abortion. I am paraphrasing so if I am miscommunications your thoughts, please let me know. She has family who would help her financially if need be. She has us, and while she frustrates the dicken out of me because of how she tries to take control of some at work (she has not one bit at home. Hubby tells her how to behave to "get ahead" at work, and she believes him) I would not abandon her. In regards to recovery after the surgery, I took someone dear to me for an abortion because I knew she would go alone if I did not. Her situation was not good. She worked nights. She returned home late afternoon, took a very short nap and worked a 12 hour shift on her feel that night. She slept in the basement of the home, and her husband did all he could to disrupt the little rest she got on a daily basis, so how she was standing upright I have no idea. She had 4 children at the time, and one more would have killed her. I know you recite google search stats, but clearly you have no real experience in a world in which women are beaten down.
 
No, the man should not have that right. The CHILD is entitled to the financial support of both parents. The father cannot opt out. It has nothing to do with the mother’s rights but with the child’s. The money is for the child.
And the mother should not have the right to put the baby up for adoption without the father's agreement if she doesn't want to raise the child herself the father should be the default carer, not adoption.
 
And the mother should not have the right to put the baby up for adoption without the father's agreement if she doesn't want to raise the child herself the father should be the default carer, not adoption.
If the father shows intent and ability to parent then he will receive custody and an adoption cannot proceed. I don’t think you understand the law.
 
I would guess you would be in for a shock if you ever tried to access all of these "free" resources that are provided to women below a certain income level and discovered that in fact Ole Mother Hubbard's cupboard is so bare that you wind up with a fistful of cobwebs in response to your request.
Not to mention how to access it. I’m a social worker in my state & would have no idea where to tell a client to go if they asked for access to this. Resources are extremely limited. There are no free public health clinics in many areas here now thanks to our last governor.
 
If insurance won't pay for it, it's an effective ban. And, NO not every health department hands out birth control for "free" to just anyone. Nice in theory. Not true in practice.

How about legislators just stay the heck out of women's reproductive rights, period? Why can't we leave it to them and their doctors to figure out? Wouldn't that be nice? Most male legislators are idiots when it comes to how women's bodies ACTUALLY work. Witness all the (stupid) comments about "women can't become pregnant from rape." Right. Yup. That makes sense.

And, I completely respect other people's decisions about what to do with their pregnancies. Maybe, just maybe, other people should respect other people's decisions too. I'd NEVER force someone to have an abortion. Why are pregnant, raped teens being "forced" to carry pregnancies they do not want and did not ask for in any way?

Finally, I'll just note that what really, really irritates me is that this will become an economic issue. Wealthy and upper middle class women will STILL be able to get all the abortions they want because they will be able to travel to states where abortion will still be legal, safe and available. So, despite any Supreme Court decision or any specific state's decision, abortions are going to happen. It's just that poor women and younger teenagers without the means to travel independently will not have that choice. (Just in case people don't know, the ONLY thing the Supreme Court can do, assuming it strikes down Roe v. Wade at some point is to declare that there is no FEDERAL right to reproductive freedom....and states will be able to make the decision for what happens in THEIR state....so southern, conservative states may effectively prohibit abortion to poor women in their states, but their wealthy residents will only need to hop on a plane to California, Washington, New York, or at least 17 other states).
And then more children living in poverty & the same ppl who caused this issue will be unwilling to pay for the services needed to support these kids.
 
A box of tampons would be .49 tax. Sure it would be better to be 0 but still not enough to be up in arms about.
Please stop focussing on the (especially individual purchase) amount. Instead please focus on the fact that this virtually absolute necessity is taxed, especially in states where not everything is. https://www.npr.org/2018/03/25/5645...x-that-s-seen-as-discriminating-against-women
Women don’t report rape, because nothing happens to the rapist. They then get ostracized and judged for being a rape victim.
Truly shocking in the 21st century.
 
In my case, I didn't report it either.

The police didn't believe me when they came two months earlier, because he knew how hard he had could hit and not leave a bruise. Any of the times they came. WE were told to stop fighting so loud, we were disturbing the neighbors and would get a ticket if we kept it up.

They didn't believe me the year before when he kicked my knees, dislocating my kneecap and tearing tendons..after all, I just had a bad fall down the stairs at the the apartment building, didn't I? Or the time that he pinned me in the chair and force fed me mushrooms until I vomited because "they are good and you WILL eat them" (I had politely declined to eat the spaghetti sauce at dinner at his mothers house because she made it with those vile things; I ate every thing else, including the pasta without sauce, but that was apparently offensive to her)...I guess I had the flu, from what the police put in the report.

Or the time that he put a knife under my chin and I just looked at him and said "if you are going to kill me, just do it already" because I was tired of it all. The scar there still hurts some days. I had a 'kitchen accident'.

His mama, the day I came out of the bedroom (we were living in at her home) holding my stomach and crying, asked "well why is SHE crying now". He said "I punched the b**** because she wouldn't (not dis friendly act); she responded "good, she deserved it". Yes, I refused my spouse his 'God given rights'; my daughter was in her crib at the end of the bed screaming and needed caring for, and I was apparently in the wrong for choosing to care for her needs instead of his.

The one time I did get the police to believe me (because the neighbors did call the cops every time, thank you to those strangers)...and they only believed me because he was in such a rage that he forgot to close the blinds and the cops could see through the sliding glass door as he wrapped his hands around my throat, his mama went to court and told the judge there was no way her son would behave that way. Of course, the judge listened to that upright member of the community; after all a secretary at the FBI is much more reliable a witness than a cashier at McDonald's, even if she hadn't even been in the state at the time of the attack. He didn't even get a slap on the wrist; I got a verbal beatdown by the judge in the courtroom for lying about such 'a nice boy'. That night was particularly tough; I had to call out of work for a couple of days after because he lost control and left some bruises on my face.

Hmm, I wonder why I didn't report my rape by my still-then husband. If I couldn't get them to believe the abuse, what on earth would they have said if I reported him breaking in and raping me? I would have been laughed out of the station.
No words, just :hug::hug:
 
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