Do You Do More for Your Children Than Your Parents Did for You?

The question was "do you do more for your children than your parents did for you" not "do you give more of yourself to your children than your parents did for their children". Had the latter been the question my answer would have been vastly different. We weren't poor by any stretch and my mom put all 4 of us through college without any loans. We went on vacations and did some special things during the year.

However, the reality of the situation is that one good caring parent typically cannot do more for 4 children than 2 good caring parents can do for 1 child. Now, I have much more free time for myself than my mother ever did so I'm not giving as much of myself to my child as my mom gave to my brothers and me.

I don't know, I guess I just look at the question differently. And I didn't mean to offend or question your answer, just sharing my perspective.
 
My parents gave us more in the way of material stuff.

DH and I spent a lot more (a whole lot more) time with our kids. We chose for me to be a SAHM.
 
I don't know, I guess I just look at the question differently. And I didn't mean to offend or question your answer, just sharing my perspective.

No worries, you definitely didn't offend. I can't imagine doing all my mom did after being widowed at 40. She's amazing and I'm very lucky she now lives close by so I can give back to her.
 
Well, my daughter is eleven and has been on 14 trips to WDW & DL...so by that metric alone, I’ll go with More....
 


Yes and no. My mom stayed home while we were young which neither of us do but we are also in a much better financial place than my parents were when we were the age our son is. When it comes down to it I think we will have less time with out son but more opportunity to do things with the time we do have if that makes sense.
 
Yes, we do so much more for our children than our parents did for us. We do much more monetarily and are much more involved in aspects of their lives.
 
Most definitely. My parents loved me and did their best. However, I was the youngest, born when my mom was 40 & my dad 45, so by the time I came along, they were over it. I got dragged all over for my teenage brother and sister’s high school activities. My mom didn’t do PTA or get involved in anything I had going on. My grandma babysat me every Saturday night so my parents could go dancing & brought me to Sunday School and church every week. We did go to Cape Cod every summer, bu never went to WDW. I’ve done the opposite with DD. I’m involved in everything. We have big parties for her birthday, especially sweet 16. I’ve tried to give her what I missed out on.
 


Yes, definitely but that's because my parents didn't have the means. I'm sure if they could have they would have.

I'm thankful that I'm able to do more for my kids. But sometimes I have to watch myself because I find myself doing too much. I don't want spoiled brats.
 
My parents were kids during the depression, they act like they did a lot, because maybe its more than they got, but really they did not do much
 
Sometimes less is more.. My parents were frugal and have instilled that trait in me.. i find it useful sometimes!

I don't think my kids are getting the same habits be it me or my wife spoiling them a tad.. :rolleyes1
 
Some ways yes, some ways no. I think there's a reasonable balance. My kids are certainly more spoiled than either DH or I were. But my kids are also fortunate that they have grandparents (my parents) who are active in their lives.
 
DH and I do a lot for our only child-DD15, she's a great kid, straight A's(mostly- works hard for those grades too) plays basketball at school and all year round, does a lot of service projects(feeding homeless and all). Plus we have the means now. We both grew up poor(welfare- grew up in the ghetto poor), so neither of our parents could do much for us, we never did trips at all, and barely had enough to eat sometimes. So it's very different with our daughter. DH and I had a bit of a hard upbringing, we would never want her to deal with that.
 
JMHO but it's tricky.

I was probably spoiled when it came to the financial side. We grew up with a housekeeper, has our own cars and paid zero for our educations. Both my brother and I have received generous "gifts" over the years when we've had large life expenses like purchasing a house. We had these things because, waaaay back in the '60s when very, very few women worked, my mother had a fairly serious career. However, my parents weren't the types to come to a school play or read bedtime stories. To be honest my father was probably never meant to be a parent but in 1960 that's what nice boys did. I know he did his best but warm and fuzzy is just not in his DNA. Our mom was more affectionate but tended to spoil us out of guilt over her job which was a twelve hour a day, 5/sometimes 6 days a week kind of thing. In general we received no guidance and very little discipline even though my brother and I ran wild as teens. In the end we both became stay at home parents and are not very "stuff" oriented. My brother is actively non-materialistic, I just don't really care one way or the other.

DH's mom stayed home and he says that he always had more attention than he ever wanted. My MIL was one of the warmest, most soft hearted people you could ever meet. I adored her. His dad was also very involved-Scout leader, helped DH and his brothers with their lawn mowing "business", did projects with them etc. Money, however, was always very tight. DH wore a lot of hand me downs and ate a lot of tuna noodle casserole. It took him 5 years to get his degree because he had to work full time and support himself while he was in school. My folks sent me a monthly check (separate from tuition/room/board) which I promptly blew on beer and general debauchery.

Here's the thing-we're both envious of the other's childhood.

We chose the broke but lots of parental involvement route with our two and who knows if that was right. We ended up with one very ambitious, career oriented kid (daughter) and one (son) who becam an English teacher largely, I suspect, because it's more stable than actor/writer and he gets his summers off, that apple fell very close to the tree!
 
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In many ways, yes. But my mom was a single parent working full time and, for part of my childhood, working on her masters degree. I was a SAHM for 16 years and now work, but largely from home and on my own schedule as long as the work gets done. And even when we were living on a single income, we'd planned for it and didn't have childcare expenses so money was always a little bit easier for us than for my mom, who was trying to keep up a lifestyle planned with two incomes on one. Between a little more money and a lot more time, we were simply able to do more.

But I think because I've been home, I also make more of a point of pushing independence and life skills - I don't think I ever did laundry before I moved out but I expect my teens to do their own, and all of the kids can cook to some degree (the 9yo is just hard-boiled eggs and Chef Boyardee, but the teens can both make real meals). My mom *hated* how we did dishes, saying we wasted too much water, so she'd just do them herself. There were a lot of things like that. I'm much better at letting go and letting them do things their way, as long as it gets done.
 
I do more for my grown kids than my parents did for me, since I’ve been grown.

I did for my kids when they were children, about the same as my parents did for me, when I was a child.
 
I think about equal, but in different ways. We traveled more in my family then I do with my kids. Partly financial, partly it is hard with 3 little boys. My parents were very involved in my sister and my life. I strive to do the same with my kids. I do hope to raise my kids to be more independent. I lived in a pretty dangerous part of town, so I wasn't allowed to really go anywhere by myself until I was 18. It took my awhile to get the confidence to really go out there and make decisions for myself. I hope to teach my kids to be independent.
 

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