Do you give Christmas gifts to everyone in your extended family?

[stsomewhere]

Do you give gifts to parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, nieces or nephews? Do you stop giving gifts at a certain age?

We stopped exchanging with my aunt /uncle / cousin his wife and two kids about 5 years ago. We stopped exchanging with siblings/ SIL/BIL 10 years ago. We only buy for our kids, parents, and nieces and nephews. We did buy for our grandparents while they were alive.

My sister and I suggested that we stop giving gifts when they turned 18 yrs. My other sister and mom do not like this. They feel that we should keep giving gifts until they are married and have kids of their own.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

We only gift our children, their spouses, and our grandchildren. I used to send gifts to my nieces/nephews, but after many years of receiving no thank yous or even a notice they got the gift, I stopped.

 

[easyas123]

We came to an agreement with our siblings - none of us exchange gifts. We gift to my husbands parents though, they can't give it up. I wish they would stop gifting to us, but they insist.
Other than that we gift to any niece/nephew 18 & under, and that's it. It has simplified things in a great way-

 

[Toolulu22]

I only purchase for my immediate family and my one sibling’s kids who are still college age and younger and who send a thank-you. They also get birthday gifts. I guess I will eventually stop sending gifts, but still enjoy it as we are very close.


I have another sibling with children for whom I’ll only buy a gift if we are together at the holiday, which is not often as we usually do Thanksgiving (we’re all scattered in various states). Both of those kids never said thanks or acknowledged they’d received a mailed gift- so, I stopped at HS graduation. I still send cards for birthdays though. I love them like crazy, but don’t feel they appreciate the gift or know to say thanks. It’s weird.

Adults stopped exchanging after my parents passed. My mom died 11 years ago right before Christmas- it changed the holidays in many ways.

 

[shh]

unfortunately, I married into a gift crazy family - and I hate it. On his side, everyone exchanges gifts. Because they keep buying for us and and no one will agree to stop exchanging or pick a name out of a hat, we get gifts for people like his BIL stepmom and her kid, his SIL's mom, plus the usually parent, nieces, nephews, siblings - we're not even close at all to some of these people or related, but we see them often enough all year at functions and they get gifts for us every year and won't stop - so I feel awkward not returning the gesture.

Everyone is an adult - his nieces/nephews are in their late '20s and will now have kids of their own - the list keeps growing and we don't have kids ourselves. It's really too much - I kinda resent the whole thing. I love the holidays as far as getting together, decorations, etc, but I hate the gift obligations.

I've tried suggesting we stop and just enjoy each other's company and a good dinner and they were very insulted. I get treated like the grinch - and it's sensitive, since it's not my side of the family. So I go along to keep peace but I try to keep spending on the more remote relationships to $10-15 max each.

 

[Disneylover99]

Two years ago, we all agreed, no more gifts for extended family, that includes children as well. It is the best thing ever!!!!!!! No more pressure. It’s such a joy just to get together and have fun over the holidays without stress shopping and lugging crap to people’s houses and lugging crap back you don’t want or need.

My husband and I buy for each other and our kids. That’s it.

 

[NYCgrrl]

No. I give to my mother's generation and DGD's now and that's about it.

Sometimes I'll see something that I know will strike the fancy of someone and give it to them but otherwise come to my home during the holidays and my hosting is your gift.

 

[Hikergirl]

We still get gifts for parents and grandparents.
We do not usually give to siblings but this year I am making some vodka infusions for them all.
When the niece/nephew count reached about 15 we decided to pick names, then a few years ago we decided to stop giving them gifts at all. We all just agreed that they didn't need more stuff and it was more important to just get everyone together during the holidays instead of exchanging gifts.

 

[clh2]

On my side of the family, we give gifts to our DD, her husband, and this year our new grandson and then my parents. When my family gets together, all in attendance bring a $10-$15 gift, we play a silly game, and everyone gets a gift at the end.

On DH’s side, we give Christmas gifts to the nieces and nephews still in school, including college, we are down to 2 that are still getting a gift.

 

[hereyago]

unfortunately, I married into a gift crazy family - and I hate it. On his side, everyone exchanges gifts. Because they keep buying for us and and no one will agree to stop exchanging or pick a name out of a hat, we get gifts for people like his BIL stepmom and her kid, his SIL's mom, plus the usually parent, nieces, nephews, siblings - we're not even close at all to some of these people or related, but we see them often enough all year at functions and they get gifts for us every year and won't stop - so I feel awkward not returning the gesture.

Everyone is an adult - his nieces/nephews are in their late '20s and will now have kids of their own - the list keeps growing and we don't have kids ourselves. It's really too much - I kinda resent the whole thing. I love the holidays as far as getting together, decorations, etc, but I hate the gift obligations.

I've tried suggesting we stop and just enjoy each other's company and a good dinner and they were very insulted. I get treated like the grinch - and it's sensitive, since it's not my side of the family. So I go along to keep peace but I try to keep spending on the more remote relationships to $10-15 max each.

Holy moly. I would be TeamGrinch as well. That's crazy! Extended family would be getting a "family gift' in their name of buying a goat for real.

 

[Hikergirl]

unfortunately, I married into a gift crazy family - and I hate it. On his side, everyone exchanges gifts. Because they keep buying for us and and no one will agree to stop exchanging or pick a name out of a hat, we get gifts for people like his BIL stepmom and her kid, his SIL's mom, plus the usually parent, nieces, nephews, siblings - we're not even close at all to some of these people or related, but we see them often enough all year at functions and they get gifts for us every year and won't stop - so I feel awkward not returning the gesture.

Everyone is an adult - his nieces/nephews are in their late '20s and will now have kids of their own - the list keeps growing and we don't have kids ourselves. It's really too much - I kinda resent the whole thing. I love the holidays as far as getting together, decorations, etc, but I hate the gift obligations.

I've tried suggesting we stop and just enjoy each other's company and a good dinner and they were very insulted. I get treated like the grinch - and it's sensitive, since it's not my side of the family. So I go along to keep peace but I try to keep spending on the more remote relationships to $10-15 max each.

Send them all one of these

https://imgur.com/dK2cXUu

 

[OneOftheB's]

My family just buys for the kids and my brother and I sneak a gift for my dad.

My DH's family buys for every single person. Every. Single. Person. Two grandparents, four adult children and seven grand children. And my MIL put cash amount she expects everyone to spend on kids ($75 per kid) and adults ($125 each). Sucks the joy out of Christmas to be given a list for each of the kids that totals $75 almost exactly. I liked the deal I had worked out with my former sister in law; we donated to a charity in lieu of a bunch of random gifts for each other. My DH's family is all about the gifts at Christmas and getting what you put on your list. I would rather get a note saying $x was sent to Y charity in honor of you, but my in laws and I have very different opinions of good charities and they won't honor that request.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

At this point, I only give to my son. My husband has always given to his parents, siblings, and two nieces but plans to stop this year. I haven’t gotten a straight answer about whether he plans to tell them this in advance, though.

 

[disneychrista]

No gift exchange.

A few years ago my daughters & I decided to discontinue gift exchange at Christmas. I told my mom at Thanksgiving that we didn't want to exchange gifts any longer but apparently she didn't hear or believe because she gave us the usual card/money and excused me of being greedy. The next year she "decided" no more gifts.

Christmas is so much less stressful not having to figure out what to buy, when everyone just buys what they want for themselves.

If, in the unlikely event, I ever have grandchildren I would buy them gifts.

 

[georgina]

No, I always found it very stressful trying to find a gift people would like, and judging by the gifts I got that I didn't want, other people have the same problem. Going crazy buying everyone presents is not what the holiday means in my opinion. I pay for airfare for my kids to fly home, I may take DD shopping for something when she is home, but DH and I buy what we need when we need it. My DS wants nothing anyway.

 

[RedAngie]

No, no gifts to extended family members

I used to get gifts from aunts/uncles on my mother's side until I was about 12. The general rule was that gifts were given until about age 18 or so. But about 1973 my mother and her siblings decided to end the practice, so I was cheated out of about 6 years of gifts. My younger cousins got gypped even worse.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

We just do immediate family.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

We buy gifts for children under 18. Those over 18, that want to, put their name in a hat. That way each person is buying one gift instead of 10+. We do this for both my side of the family and my husband’s.

 

[bushdianee]

Until this year we drew names for the adults. There was a $50 & a $25 drawing that people could choose from or not participate at all. Participation was dwindling and a couple of people wanted to change it up so this year we are doing a $25 gift card exchange. I'm not nuts about the idea but will go along with it. There are a few nieces and nephews under 18 and now several great nieces and nephews. Most of us siblings buy for all of the under 18ers and some buy for just the nieces and nephews, not the greats. Some of the older nieces and nephews buy for the greats and some don't buy for anybody. Christmas Eve is so chaotic and the kids are so busy they don't know who they got what from. I buy for all of the kids but buy more for the 3 youngest nieces and nephews. This year I got pajamas for all of them along with books for the little ones, and will get the older ones a $10 gift card to use for a book of their choice (if they want, I'm realistic enough to think that tweens and teens will buy books but it is too hard to know what books they like) The 3 youngest will get their other gifts after Christmas as I watch them over the break.

 

[Wendy31]

In our own family, we buy for each other & our kids. And, once our kids have spouses & their own kids, we'll buy for them, of course.

Extended family - On both sides, we currently buy for our parents & our nieces & nephews under age 18.
In DH's family, we now have great nieces & nephews as well - so, instead of buying for our nieces & nephews, we're buying for our great nieces & nephews. LOL! (Our younger son is the only one of that particular cousin generation still under age 18.) And we buy a small "couples" type gift for our siblings & their spouses - like a throw blanket or board game or something like Penzey's spices. (We don't buy anything for our married niece & nephew since we're buying for their kids.)

When our grandparents were alive, we would buy for them as well.