Do you give Christmas gifts to everyone in your extended family?

[jsmith]

We gift our children and their spouses, grandchild and one great nephew. If we are celebrating with my brother and sister in law we will exchange with them-usually bottles of wine, cheese or something a long those lines. Since they live 6 hours away that's not an every year occurance. I will take a small hostess gift if going to one of our daughter in laws families for a holiday meal. We travel or do some activity rather than purchase gifts for each other.

 

[DVC-Don]

Just our kids/spouses and grandchild now.

 

[hereyago]

My family just buys for the kids and my brother and I sneak a gift for my dad.

My DH's family buys for every single person. Every. Single. Person. Two grandparents, four adult children and seven grand children. And my MIL put cash amount she expects everyone to spend on kids ($75 per kid) and adults ($125 each).

Your MIL wouldn't like me if I was her DIL because unless SHE is paying for all the gifts, she would have no say how much I would spend. Lol

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

Heck no. We'll give to our parents and our kids. But giving to the cousins went out the window a while ago (though last year, we broke the rule for our twin three year old nephews who are much younger than the rest of the cousins - it was a one year thing). It's just too expensive and if you try and do a price limit, you just end up buying crap.

 

[design_mom]

We buy for our parents and our kids, our siblings and their spouses/kids. But those are people that we actually see on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day to celebrate with.

Additionally, I usually buy a small gift for one of my Aunts... she's a sweet lady, but we don't buy for the rest of the aunts, uncles, cousins. We used to buy for DH's grandparents when they were living.

Right now, our youngest generation (the kids) range from 14-19. I'm not sure when/if we'll stop buying for the kids, but I would imagine we'd continue through college, at least till they're out on their own.

 

[LovesTimone]

We gift to my parents... DH parents have passed on

DD, SiL and sweet little grandson...

I gift my my nieces both over 18, and one great niece who is 7... I gift them because I want to...and I want them to know that I love them and think about them.... I have my parents take the gifts to the house....

My neighbor and I will exchange a small gift

I will send a gift to my cousin and his wife...

And that's it...

and I am almost done...

now I have to wrap and mail ....

 

[paisleys]

We *finally* put a stop to this by going cold turkey (with exception of MIL who we will always buy a gift for). The first year I broached the subject of not shipping gifts to siblings, nieces and nephews (etc) I was met with resistance ..and a bunch of gifts. Of course I felt bad and quickly reciprocated (via overnight shipping). People rarely even acknowledged receiving our gifts and I hated asking just to make sure they even got it. Two years ago I finally listened to my husband and just didn't send anything back when they continued to send things. It was SUPER hard and I felt awful but it worked!! Last year, the incoming gifts finally drizzled out. People weren't happy about the idea but they themselves said they couldn't afford it. I feel bad they were sending things we'd end up tossing or giving away. My SIL would spend a fortune to ship a big box of 'stuff' when she could really use the money. It's such a relief to finally be done with that. It's hard to shop for people you haven't seen for years as they live far away and you have no idea what they even like anymore! It was just a box checked but at the expense of stress and spending $$$. We've even stopped sending out holiday cards. My husband used to send me a list of like 50 people from work, plus all of our families. It seemed like such a waste of money to send out all of these cards that went into the trash. Do people really care to see pics of my kids baking again this year? Or random collages of trips during the year?

 

[Kogo Shuko]

We do: Parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. The child gets to make gifts for cousins, aunts, and uncles as well, since he will be getting gifts from them. But eventually, I plan on stopping this, as it's getting expensive lol

 

[Miffy]

No. DH and I don't even give gifts to each other. No matter how much we beg them not to, however, DH has a couple of relatives who insist on sending us gifts every year. Are they thoughtful? Yes. Are they things we want or need or would otherwise like to have? No.

 

[belle032]

I feel like a grinch, but honestly I'm over gift giving just for the sake of gift giving. I told DH this year I'm not buying him anything and please don't buy me a gift. We're going on a cruise in January, which is already a gift for ourselves. And we'll do something like a couples massage and get some projects done around the house.

I do still get something for my mom and brothers, but it's usually some kind of gift card. Mainly because they live far away from me and because my mom needs nothing and brothers are in their 20s who prefer to buy their own stuff anyway.

My MIL is the gift giver even though we've tried to tell her we don't need anything. And I think she believes if you can't wrap it, it's not a gift. For example, last Christmas all we asked for was a Disney GC to put towards our bucket-list cruise. Did she get that? Nope, but we did get some random kitchen stuff, tons of framed photos and I don't even remember what else.

Luckily, I only have one niece and nephew who are still very young. But I did say I was not buying a bunch of toys this year. MIL will take care of that anyway. I believe we'll split the cost with the other aunt & uncle and purchase a family membership to the local zoo or children's museum for them. And probably each a book or other smaller item for them to actually unwrap!

And in general, I've gotten so I'm always so much happier to gift an experience rather than a tangible item. So if I can do that, I will.

 

[shh]

We *finally* put a stop to this by going cold turkey (with exception of MIL who we will always buy a gift for). The first year I broached the subject of not shipping gifts to siblings, nieces and nephews (etc) I was met with resistance ..and a bunch of gifts. Of course I felt bad and quickly reciprocated (via overnight shipping). People rarely even acknowledged receiving our gifts and I hated asking just to make sure they even got it. Two years ago I finally listened to my husband and just didn't send anything back when they continued to send things. It was SUPER hard and I felt awful but it worked!! Last year, the incoming gifts finally drizzled out. People weren't happy about the idea but they themselves said they couldn't afford it. I feel bad they were sending things we'd end up tossing or giving away. My SIL would spend a fortune to ship a big box of 'stuff' when she could really use the money. It's such a relief to finally be done with that. It's hard to shop for people you haven't seen for years as they live far away and you have no idea what they even like anymore! It was just a box checked but at the expense of stress and spending $$$. We've even stopped sending out holiday cards. My husband used to send me a list of like 50 people from work, plus all of our families. It seemed like such a waste of money to send out all of these cards that went into the trash. Do people really care to see pics of my kids baking again this year? Or random collages of trips during the year?

good for you! I'm jealous. My DH's family can't really afford to do the gifts either - they're all in heavy debt. But there's no swaying them. If I had the guts you do, I'd announce "no gifts" like you did and stick to it - but I just feel too guilty not having something for them since they insist on buying stuff.

 

[ZZBane]

We usually do a secret Santa between myself, my 2 brothers, their girlfriends, and my uncle and his wife. The limit is typically $200. Last year was the first year I actually had money to spend on really awesome gifts for my brothers. I got the one the newest Apple Watch and the other these hideous boots that he wanted and AirPods. I was so excited to give them their gifts. This year, there has been so many changes and so many things going on, that we all agreed to just not do gifts this year. They can buy for my 2 year old, their nephew, if they feel the need to buy something, but that’s it. The only person I bought for this year was my son...he gets a Disney trip

 

[KMarston]

I come from a gift giving family. It was mom’s favorite thing. We have the same type Christmas morning with our kids, their SO, DGS, and my Sister who stays with us. We buy a lot of necessities (clothes, shoes, underwear) some wants or needs for their homes which is the really big gift, tons of gift cards, stocking stuffers cost me a fortune but that’s one of their favorite things.

My DHs family (5 siblings) didn’t do big gifts as in he never had more than one gift to open at Christmas. The siblings did A name draw as adults and that ended up turning into a dirty Santa eventually. We gave to all the nieces and nephews until they started playing dirty Santa then we gave to great nieces and nephews. Last year was the first Christmas after DML passed away and we didn’t even get together.

We give to two of our dearest friends, the 6 kids on either side of us, my father and his wife and I make cheese rings for all the neighbors on my street for Christmas Eve! That’s expected, they’ll come looking for them sometimes before I deliver!

I love buying for my immediate family and the young kids next door! . I love wrapping beautiful gifts! I don’t love buying for everyone else! I wish it would end!

 

[Minnie1222]

No! Not for the extended family. If we go visit someone then I would bring some baked goods.

 

[_19disnA]

No we don't. Every family situation is different and depends on a lot of factors. How large is your extended family, how often you do you actually get together and see each other, do you all still live in the same city and what is the financial situation of each family? Typically, you probably don't know the financial situation of other family members and getting expensive gifts for a lot of people can be quite a drain on the budget. As some get older and married, they will probably spend some of the holidays with their new relatives, so less likely everyone will be in one place for Christmas.

Even if YOU can afford it, have to be sensitive to others in your family who may not. I think it is good if the adults in the extended family have a discussion ahead of time about how this Christmas will be handled. Some extended families stay close their entire lives, others do not for a variety of reasons. I think the answer to the OP's question depends on each family and has less to do with what other people on here you don't even know might do with their family.

 

[Twinkling]

We sure do! My cousins, their kids, my parents, siblings, all get gifts. On my husbands side it's his immediate family, sister and their kids. We're not as close with his extended family and don't really see them for the holidays, but if we did visit we'd absolutely bring something. No one is "aged out" of a gift (excluding my grandma who doesn't really understand the concept anymore and its less painful to just not get her anything), and we give gifts to our close friends as well.

And yes, we do enjoy giving gifts to everyone. For a couple years we tried to do a secret santa sort of thing, but it fell apart, as all of us were buying things for everyone else anyway, not just the person we had chosen. We're a gift giving family. No one demands anything, or is made to feel obligated that they must get something expensive.

 

[travelmomof3]

We use Elfster for our adult Secret Santa. We have 7 adults in my family (siblings/spouses/mom) so we focus on that one person instead. Elfster is great (we've used it for years) because it draws the name for you. You can also put up a wish list and the giver will usually gift a mix of something on that person's list and other things that they have come up with on their own. It's really fun to focus on that one family member! We can't always get together so we will mail to the person and hold a Zoom on Christmas Day.

My oldest is 19 and family hasn't stopped giving to her. This year, they'll most likely give gift cards to stores or restaurants in her college town. I have 3 nephews and 1 niece that I buy for, so pretty easy.

I also have DH and my 3 kids although DH and I will just get a few things for one another, fill one anothers' stockings, and plan to get a hot tub this fall which we are calling our Christmas gift to one another.

As for extra people to buy, we only have DD's extracirricular teachers and I'm getting each a small succulent, nice chocolate, and a card.

I use an Excel Spreadsheet to keep it all organized, which is very helpful!

I say only do what you want and isn't overwhelming. Christmas shopping should be fun and enjoyable not stressful. I realized when I started out on my own that I needed to start early to keep ahead of the timeline. Now I automatically jot down ideas in my notes app on my phone throughout the year as I think of things. For example my 5 yo niece said she really wished she had a cheerleading outfit and pompoms so that is what she is getting this year. That was in July so had I not written it down I would have forgotten about it. Come September, I create my spreadsheet and start plugging in things. It's also helpful because I get the kids the same amount of gifts so I can keep it organized that way as well.

 

[fla4fun]

No, we keep it to just me, my sister and my BIL. Our parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles have all passed. Although we get along with our cousins, we aren’t close with any of them or their families. The three of us make out Christmas lists to give each other an idea what is wanted or needed, so we primarily stick with the lists, with the occasional surprise thrown in. We don’t go overboard with spending though.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Draw names for my generation (siblings and spouses). Give to nieces/nephews on my side (not DH's) and our parents. So not overwhelming.

Haver never given to aunts, uncles, cousins. Don't see them at Christmas as they all have large families of their own and we don't all live in same province.

 

[mrodgers]

My 2 children only.