Do you think you respond differently depending on the poster?

NewGoal

Earning My Ears
Joined
Nov 30, 2019
So I unknowingly started a very controversial thread and got some harsh responses. I totally get the harsh responses because to some posters it is very black and white. But it led me to think, if I had posted with my old account, will the responses be less harsh? I've been posting since 2003, although I'm not super active, I've had many thread interactions with posters that were very harsh on my other thread. I'm wondering if they knew the real me, and my posts through the years. Would they have formed an opinion of the 'real' me and will they have responded to my post differently? (maybe still point out my wrong, just not so harsh....lol)
 
So I unknowingly started a very controversial thread and got some harsh responses. I totally get the harsh responses because to some posters it is very black and white. But it led me to think, if I had posted with my old account, will the responses be less harsh? I've been posting since 2003, although I'm not super active, I've had many thread interactions with posters that were very harsh on my other thread. I'm wondering if they knew the real me, and my posts through the years. Would they have formed an opinion of the 'real' me and will they have responded to my post differently? (maybe still point out my wrong, just not so harsh....lol)
People might possibly be less harsh if they knew who you were or they could have been even more harsh. Lol. You just never know.

I tend to think, when people have very strong opinions about things, they’ll express their opinion no matter who you are. So all in all, I don’t think it really makes a difference one way or the other.
 


Absolutely there have been rude and snarky responses that were based on a history. That happens almost anywhere if there are regulars posting.
 


Doesn't matter. If you post anything the least bit controversial or against the "norm" posters are going to pounce.

I posted asking at what age DIS'ers kids moved out and it ended up with me being a horrible mother because my adult daughters still live at home.
 
I quickly learned which posters become unhinged when one expresses an opinion they disagree with. Most of the time I either ignore them or report them ( if they’re violating guidelines) rather than engage them.
 
I don't necessarily think you'd have different responses. The thread was already going to be controversial due to the topic at hand. Take a group of people in person and talk about your topic of your other thread and you'll likely get people going anyways.

I'd have to say we all have our times when we don't want someone to just give it to us straight, be very blunt with no sugar coating; we want more cushioning done. Maybe that thread was the case for you. Similarly if in person you may not have wanted people to be like that for you even if there were people around that may have wanted to. And sometimes it's the opposite where you go to the discussion board for that outsider opinion because you're unsure if those close to you are letting you know how they feel, etc .

I think more often than not what can happen is life events happen to posters and it can bring things back into perspective. People in real life experience things like death and medical crisis and even if you don't necessarily get along with a particular poster that doesn't mean you can't give your support to them in their time of need. Amberpi is a poster I tend to think about now. While I don't think posters really had an issue with her she def. got a lot of us discussing her new role as a stepparent. With her passing..well ya know brings perspective IYKWIM? There's other examples for sure. I know when my grandmother passed away after less than 12hrs in hospice I was in the midst of a discussion back and forth with a poster. I simply just didn't care whatever it was we were going back and forth on after that and left the discussion.
 
So I unknowingly started a very controversial thread and got some harsh responses. I totally get the harsh responses because to some posters it is very black and white. But it led me to think, if I had posted with my old account, will the responses be less harsh? I've been posting since 2003, although I'm not super active, I've had many thread interactions with posters that were very harsh on my other thread. I'm wondering if they knew the real me, and my posts through the years. Would they have formed an opinion of the 'real' me and will they have responded to my post differently? (maybe still point out my wrong, just not so harsh....lol)

That's a really good point, and I think it works both ways. - Some people would be more sympathetic to someone they felt they had "known" for a while, and and some people would be less so, if they'd had a "fight" with the poster in the past.

I do think it happens in real life, too, though. If most people were asked in general terms if _____ behavior was OK, they'd give a simple answer. But if someone in their family was actually in that situation, they'd see the question as much more nuanced. (They might still come to the same conclusion, but it would be more difficult, and take longer to think over.)
 
No. People put on there lawyer hats and claim to be experts. The post goes off the rails no matter what you say or how you say it.
 

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