"Dress Coded"

[china mom]

I hope you don't mind me using you as a sounding board. I am not all that sure how to react to this.

I noticed that despite a weather forecast of 80 degrees, my 14 year old Middle School daughter was wearing long pants. I asked her why as she said "I don't want to be dress coded" Upon further questioning, it came out that one teacher - her music teacher, makes the girls who are wearing shorts stand with their hands at their sides and show that there shorts are longer than their fingertips.

Now, my daughter is a total tomboy and prefers wearing long shorts (think around the knees) over short ones so I am pretty sure that most of her shorts are in compliance with the dress code. She just doesn't want to stand there and be examined so she wears long pants every other day when she has this particular class.

I asked her if the boys were "dress coded" and she wasn't sure but doesn't think so. I asked what happens if your shorts are too short and she told me that you get sent to the office for that period.

Now, I am all in favor of setting some sort of standard and I don't think that "booty shorts" have a place in school but I feel that this one teacher checking all the girls as they enter the classroom is kind of demeaning and maybe a little creepy.

Thoughts?

 

[Funfire240]

My DD is in intermediate school (5th and 6th in our district) and they do this. Her one friend had to call home because her skirt was too short. My DD is tall for her age and has longer arms so she wears nothing but pants and/or capris/crops just for this reason.

 

[luvsJack]

I hope you don't mind me using you as a sounding board. I am not all that sure how to react to this.

I noticed that despite a weather forecast of 80 degrees, my 14 year old Middle School daughter was wearing long pants. I asked her why as she said "I don't want to be dress coded" Upon further questioning, it came out that one teacher - her music teacher, makes the girls who are wearing shorts stand with their hands at their sides and show that there shorts are longer than their fingertips.

Now, my daughter is a total tomboy and prefers wearing long shorts (think around the knees) over short ones so I am pretty sure that most of her shorts are in compliance with the dress code. She just doesn't want to stand there and be examined so she wears long pants every other day when she has this particular class.

I asked her if the boys were "dress coded" and she wasn't sure but doesn't think so. I asked what happens if your shorts are too short and she told me that you get sent to the office for that period.

Now, I am all in favor of setting some sort of standard and I don't think that "booty shorts" have a place in school but I feel that this one teacher checking all the girls as they enter the classroom is kind of demeaning and maybe a little creepy.

Thoughts?

One of the very reasons I HATED the middle school years for my kids. I don't know what it is but for those years, it seemed like the controlling of the rules was so over the top. DD went through this very thing. And had a different teacher that would make them all raise their pants at the ankles to do a "sock check" and make sure their socks were appropriate colors. I asked that teacher "if you can't see their socks so they have to raise them for you to look, what possible difference does it really make?" She just blinked at me.

 

[mjkacmom]

Our school’s have this rule, but kids rarely get coded because teachers don’t want issues with the parents (dd22 got it once but had spare clothes in her locker). Dd18 needed to get a prom form signed by the principal and vice principal yesterday, they joked that they wouldn’t because she was wearing slides (not allowed), they all chuckled and her form was signed. It’s rare to see a girl who’s shorts would pass the fingertip test.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I really hate dress codes. They are so one-sided and antiquated.

No one examines the boys in the way they do the girls. It can be humiliating for them (as I know from experience).

If boys can’t concentrate because my daughter’s shoulders are showing, or her shorts are three inches above her knee, that is their issue, not hers.

Boys’ dress codes are based on safety such as “wallet chains”, or the possibility of being distractions, like hats. None (or few) have to do with their actual body.

I’m sure someone will come along and tell me I’m wrong, but I don’t care. That’s my opinion, and yes, I do make my kids follow the rules set in school.

 

[Hikergirl]

I have no problem with this at all, there is a rule and the teacher is enforcing it. Maybe she could take each girl out of the classroom individually but then that takes time away from instruction and someone will surely complain about that.
The boys rarely wear super short shorts so I don't have an issue with just being girls checked.

And FWIW the dress code at my kid's school covers male and female students.
NO students are allowed to wear super short shorts, or spaghetti straps, or hats, or flip flops or offensive T shirts. No super saggy pants/shorts meaning you can't have your pants pulled down so far half of your underwear are showing, no hats or hoods up. There are a bunch o other things that I can't recall of the top of my head.
Now of course there will be those who call this sexist but it applies to all students not just one gender.

 

[kimblebee]

I have no problem with this at all, there is a rule and the teacher is enforcing it. Maybe she could take each girl out of the classroom individually but then that takes time away from instruction and someone will surely complain about that.
The boys rarely wear super short shorts so I don't have an issue with just being girls checked.

Are short shorts going to distract the girls from learning? I don’t think booty shorts are for school either, but why make the girls suffer when, stated or not, the rule is because of boys who can’t concentrate.

Why not pull the boys out and say remember, a girls kneecap is just like yours. Her bare arm is just like yours. You aren’t entitled to it so focus on your own work.

I’m so glad we never had to deal with dress codes.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

To begin with, dress codes are almost always sexist.

So, go do that fight if you want. More power to you!

2nd, this music teacher should be smart enough to subtly check if shorts are potentially too short before pulling kids aside to double check, which should be done in the hallway.

 

[Hikergirl]

Are short shorts going to distract the girls from learning? I don’t think booty shorts are for school either, but why make the girls suffer when, stated or not, the rule is because of boys who can’t concentrate.

Why not pull the boys out and say remember, a girls kneecap is just like yours. Her bare arm is just like yours. You aren’t entitled to it so focus on your own work.

I’m so glad we never had to deal with dress codes.

LOL, you are pretty naive if you think teen girls aren't distracted by teen boys. Does it effect their learning- who knows, for some I'm sure for others maybe not. Do I care one way or another, nope because I have no problem with schools setting rules and expecting students and their parents to follow them.

 

[Hikergirl]

So for those saying it's sexist are you saying that if a boy comes in in booty shorts he wouldn't be dress coded?

 

[Eeyore daily]

When I was in school they had the same rules other posters have said: no short shorts, no spaghetti straps, no sagging, etc.. The only one they enforced where the ones geared more towards girls (straps/shorts). I saw plenty of boys sagging but no action taken against them and honestly that one is more disgusting in my opinion than the size of straps to hold up a shirt. To each their own.

 

[L&Lfan]

I’m glad we had to wear uniforms through grade 9.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

So for those saying it's sexist are you saying that if a boy comes in in booty shorts he wouldn't be dress coded?

Booty shorts, yes. Shorts slightly shorter than his fingertips or a tank top, no. Booty shorts are inappropriate no matter what, mid-thigh shorts are not.

 

[piccolopat]

If the school has a dress code, it would make more sense to have someone either checking as the kids enter school or in their homeroom / 1st period. I think it is reasonable to have a dress code so kids learn there is a time and place for dressing certain ways. I also think enforcement should be consistent for everyone and at the start of the school day. I don't think it is something that should be checked by each teacher as kids change classes throughout the day.

 

[Hikergirl]

Booty shorts, yes. Shorts slightly shorter than his fingertips or a tank top, no. Booty shorts are inappropriate no matter what, mid-thigh shorts are not.

Here a tank top isn't an issue as our students can wear them, however they can't wear spaghetti straps.

Have you witnessed any boys wearing short shorts (above where the fingertips come can be pretty short) being checked? Have you witnessed
boys with shorts like that allowed to stay in a classroom that a girl wasn't allowed to stay in the same classroom?
I personally don't believe dress codes are applied throughout the school, individual teachers have their own way of doing things some are sticklers and some are more laid back. I'm more interested in if you've witnessed one teacher apply different rules to a male in short shorts than they do in a female in them?
If not, then how do you know they wouldn't be?
I personally haven't but cant say I've seen boys in shorts like that other than during track events.

 

[Anchored]

I am 5'11" and ALLLLL legs. Dress code enforcement like this is stupid. Nothing was ever long enough for me as a child, even pants
All of the shorts made to be knee length on other girls were mid thigh for me, and my arms are long (I have Marfans Syndrome, physically characterized by extra long limbs) so my fingertips were always past the shorts or skirt. It gave me a huge complex. I still try to shrink myself now at 36.

 

[Gigi22]

When I was in high school girls wearing mini skirts were dealt with by having them kneel on the floor. If your skirt didn’t touch the floor, it was deemed too short and there were consequences. Of course, there were “modesty screens” installed on student’s desks too!

 

[Hikergirl]

If the school has a dress code, it would make more sense to have someone either checking as the kids enter school or in their homeroom / 1st period. I think it is reasonable to have a dress code so kids learn there is a time and place for dressing certain ways. I also think enforcement should be consistent for everyone and at the start of the school day. I don't think it is something that should be checked by each teacher as kids change classes throughout the day.

This is what bothers me the most about the dress codes, if they are going to have them then they should be enforced by all, not some teachers here and there.

 

[aprilgail]

Here a tank top isn't an issue as our students can wear them, however they can't wear spaghetti straps.

.

Here girls are not allowed to wear tank tops- my daughter always said if her shoulders were to much of a distraction for boys then perhaps the boys that it bothered should be homeschooled because they obviously should not be allowed out in public if a girls shoulders caused them to lose control.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Here a tank top isn't an issue as our students can wear them, however they can't wear spaghetti straps.

Have you witnessed any boys wearing short shorts (above where the fingertips come can be pretty short) being checked? Have you witnessed
boys with shorts like that allowed to stay in a classroom that a girl wasn't allowed to stay in the same classroom?
I personally don't believe dress codes are applied throughout the school, individual teachers have their own way of doing things some are sticklers and some are more laid back. I'm more interested in if you've witnessed one teacher apply different rules to a male in short shorts than they do in a female in them?
If not, then how do you know they wouldn't be?
I personally haven't but cant say I've seen boys in shorts like that other than during track events.

Yes I have seen it. Shorter khaki shorts for boys are in right now and they are allowed to stay. Girls are checked much more frequently, and “coded” more than boys in my experience. YMMV. I grew up in FL and girls couldn’t wear any tanks tops at all, but boys did all of the time, and we were actually given the excuse that girls shoulders can be very distracting to boys.