Extracurricular activities are not the same as when I was in school

[mom2rtk]

I suppose it depends on your town, but around us, there are always options for recreation level sports of all kinds. Our city has rec soccer, baseball/softball and basketball (off the top of my head) for ages all the way up through high school.

I do, however, think the days of 'going to the sandlot' are over. Kids may get together at someone's house and play basketball or something like that, but nobody's meeting up at a baseball field for a pickup game (like when I was a kid). Unfortunately, most 'sandlot' fields are gone these days - all the fields are for team use only and only if approved by the city.

Our city parks have baseball fields that can be used by anybody at any time they aren't scheduled for a league or practice.

And lots of open basketball courts as well. Any time my son was home from college he was putting together a pick-up game with a variety of friends. They always ended up adding kids who happened to show up at the court wanting to shoot baskets.

Heck, even the high school football field can be used by anyone as long as one of the school teams isn't having practice (or a game obviously).

 

[soccerdad72]

Our city parks have baseball fields that can be used by anybody at any time they aren't scheduled for a league or practice.

And lots of open basketball courts as well. Any time my son was home from college he was putting together a pick-up game with a variety of friends. They always ended up adding kids who happened to show up at the court wanting to shoot baskets.

Heck, even the high school football field can be used by anyone as long as one of the school teams isn't having practice (or a game obviously).

I think the problem around us is that there are a lot of teams (at least within that sport's season) that occupy the fields we have so there really isn't a lot of time when they would be free normally.

 

[mom2rtk]

I think the problem around us is that there are a lot of teams (at least within that sport's season) that occupy the fields we have so there really isn't a lot of time when they would be free normally.

That would be frustrating. We have so many neighborhood park basketball courts there's always something available. Baseball and football fields are probably more of an off-season thing. It's a great way for my son to reconnect with friends when he's back in town.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I suppose it depends on your town, but around us, there are always options for recreation level sports of all kinds. Our city has rec soccer, baseball/softball and basketball (off the top of my head) for ages all the way up through high school.

I do, however, think the days of 'going to the sandlot' are over. Kids may get together at someone's house and play basketball or something like that, but nobody's meeting up at a baseball field for a pickup game (like when I was a kid). Unfortunately, most 'sandlot' fields are gone these days - all the fields are for team use only and only if approved by the city.

My son (he's 17) and his friends are always going to the courts for basketball pick up games. Next to the basketball court is an open field for baseball. They go there also. It is used for the township games but if it's free you are allowed to use. My SO and his friends (in their 30s and 40s) still play pick up football on Sunday mornings. My son and his friends go also. All of these pick up games are planned the day of, usually all within 30 minutes. A couple texts and phones calls and they meet up. My SO and his friends also play on a softball league. They are pretty bad but they love spending time together, playing some softball, having a couple beers and cracking jokes.

I've never been the "set up a playdate" type parent. My kids have always been told to go outside, find friends in the neighborhood and play. I don't think it's ever been necessary to have their lives so scheduled. This is why rec leagues have always worked for us because it's practice a few days a week and then when games start it's 1-2 games a week (usually Saturday morning) with maybe 1-2 practices a week. And it's not HOURS of it. Even with me not having them in a zillion activities they are pretty busy. My DD is in her school musical which is rehearsal 3 days a week after school. And she will play softball in the spring when the musical is over. DS plays basketball and then baseball for the HS. Our weekends are packed with family and friends activities that we enjoy participating in. We have a huge extended family and friends so we can't give up every single weekend to sports. It's all about balance for us.

 

[mom2rtk]

My son (he's 17) and his friends are always going to the courts for basketball pick up games. Next to the basketball court is an open field for baseball. They go there also. It is used for the township games but if it's free you are allowed to use. My SO and his friends (in their 30s and 40s) still play pick up football on Sunday mornings. My son and his friends go also. All of these pick up games are planned the day of, usually all within 30 minutes. A couple texts and phones calls and they meet up. My SO and his friends also play on a softball league. They are pretty bad but they love spending time together, playing some softball, having a couple beers and cracking jokes.

I've never been the "set up a playdate" type parent. My kids have always been told to go outside, find friends in the neighborhood and play. I don't think it's ever been necessary to have their lives so scheduled. This is why rec leagues have always worked for us because it's practice a few days a week and then when games start it's 1-2 games a week (usually Saturday morning) with maybe 1-2 practices a week. And it's not HOURS of it. Even with me not having them in a zillion activities they are pretty busy. My DD is in her school musical which is rehearsal 3 days a week after school. And she will play softball in the spring when the musical is over. DS plays basketball and then baseball for the HS. Our weekends are packed with family and friends activities that we enjoy participating in. We have a huge extended family and friends so we can't give up every single weekend to sports. It's all about balance for us.

That's exactly how we felt about it all along. With 3 kids, even rec leagues were more than enough time commitment for us. No travel teams or competitive leagues here. And we have tons of family memories now, and the kids still enjoy being active.

My daughter has one more year of high school tennis left. That will be the very end of our sports watching days. It's going to seem so odd. I'm guessing they don't need mom watching from the sidelines at their pickup games.

 

[Magpie]

Children have been known to exaggerate and from my recollection they are even better at it with an audience.
Or maybe the young lady has a rare muscle disorder so let's be thankful it's been found.

The video is on YouTube. The girl did not "exaggerate". It's there for everyone to see. She screams "Please stop!" nine times.

She doesn't have a rare muscle disorder, either. They ripped her leg muscle and tore a ligament, forcing her to seek medical attention and physical therapy.

This is far from "normal".

 

[Hikergirl]

Children have been known to exaggerate and from my recollection they are even better at it with an audience.
Or maybe the young lady has a rare muscle disorder so let's be thankful it's been found.

AYFKM?

 

[sam_gordon]

I'm not willing to give my kids childhood over to to glitz and glamour of sports.

Oh, I also wanted to ask, what "glitz and glamour" are you talking about? It's a lot of hard work, a lot of time in a car, you may get a trophy that you put on a shelf and forget about, then get up the next day. 95% of the people coming to watch you are related to you. Friends might come watch your school games, no different than friends going to watch a stage show or a band competition. So what glitz and glamour are people getting?

 

[NYCgrrl]

The video is on YouTube. The girl did not "exaggerate". It's there for everyone to see. She screams "Please stop!" nine times.

She doesn't have a rare muscle disorder, either. They ripped her leg muscle and tore a ligament, forcing her to seek medical attention and physical therapy.

This is far from "normal".

Sorry, apparently what is normal in your life is not necessarily in mine. I saw a video of the incident back when it was initially reported and the first thing that popped into my mind is: "It's show time". I put out the possibility of a disorder as a polite ''out'' BUT I don't know her any more than I guess you do.
Apparently, the Denver DA, thinks something is amiss in the narrative put out by the mother and daughter since no charges were brought.

There's lots of things I've seen on youtube. Heck, I've seen people shot to death on videos and various authorities said it was justifiable. Maybe it's my eyes.

Had to look up what "AYFKM" meant, hikergirl. No, not kidding, can't imagine why you'd think so.

 

[lancermom]

Oh, I also wanted to ask, what "glitz and glamour" are you talking about? It's a lot of hard work, a lot of time in a car, you may get a trophy that you put on a shelf and forget about, then get up the next day. 95% of the people coming to watch you are related to you. Friends might come watch your school games, no different than friends going to watch a stage show or a band competition. So what glitz and glamour are people getting?

The glitz and glamour of 3 stinky teenage boys in my car after a 2 hour soccer practice?

 

[Magpie]

Sorry, apparently what is normal in your life is not necessarily in mine. I saw a video of the incident back when it was initially reported and the first thing that popped into my mind is: "It's show time". I put out the possibility of a disorder as a polite ''out'' BUT I don't know her any more than I guess you do.
Apparently, the Denver DA, thinks something is amiss in the narrative put out by the mother and daughter since no charges were brought.

There's lots of things I've seen on youtube. Heck, I've seen people shot to death on videos and various authorities said it was justifiable. Maybe it's my eyes.

Had to look up what "AYFKM" meant, hikergirl. No, not kidding, can't imagine why you'd think so.

Oh my gosh, you really looked at that and decided that girl was a drama queen?

So... I guess my question to you is, where does consent come into all of this? Are girls in sports to be taught that they have no control over what anyone does to their bodies? That it's reasonable for people to laugh and dismiss them when they scream and cry?

If this was at all routine, there's no way in God's green earth that I'd ever sign my children up for sports. These are not lessons I ever want them learning.

 

[Hikergirl]

Oh my gosh, you really looked at that and decided that girl was a drama queen?

So... I guess my question to you is, where does consent come into all of this? Are girls in sports to be taught that they have no control over what anyone does to their bodies? That it's reasonable for people to laugh and dismiss them when they scream and cry?

If this was at all routine, there's no way in God's green earth that I'd ever sign my children up for sports. These are not lessons I ever want them learning.

Exactly, and while there may be no charges against that coach, what they did to that girl was abuse. She was clearly in pain, and they were not stopping when she told them too. That goes beyond power stretching (and I am aware of what that is, my dh and my ds did power stretching in their MA class). Any parent OK with a coach doing that to their child has some issues, and that is all I will say because I don't want the points.

 

[NYCgrrl]

Oh my gosh, you really looked at that and decided that girl was a drama queen?

So... I guess my question to you is, where does consent come into all of this? Are girls in sports to be taught that they have no control over what anyone does to their bodies? That it's reasonable for people to laugh and dismiss them when they scream and cry?

If this was at all routine, there's no way in God's green earth that I'd ever sign my children up for sports. These are not lessons I ever want them learning.

Known moments in fiction and history of drama queen children: "Children's Hour"; Salem witch trials; how about the Childrens' Crusades. No control over their bodies- where did that proto-feminist thought come from and truly what does it have to do with the topic at hand?
Consent would be between the young lady and her parents.
Who wanted her to take the classes? The parents or the young lady? Did the young lady actually do the required pre class stretches and exercises? Did she put her heart into it at all?? That's the only other possibility that comes to mind and how would anyone in authority know if she dissembled?

I don't know (any more than you) what truly happened but I do know what the human body is capable of doing first hand. Your average 13 y/o's body can do a split. When you're older, rusty and dusty like me maybe not.
Should you prefer to not allow your children to participate in any team sports or use their bodies to full application this is your choice and unless you asked my opinion I'd have nothing to say about it nor would it affect me in the least.

What's to laugh about? A man lost his gainful employment doing what he loved. Other girls lost the benefit of his coaching and are bitter about it The young lady at the eye of the faux storm learned hopefully a valuable lesson about herself that was more painful to see in public than the video was for me.

Exactly, and while there may be no charges against that coach, what they did to that girl was abuse. She was clearly in pain, and they were not stopping when she told them too. That goes beyond power stretching (and I am aware of what that is, my dh and my ds did power stretching in their MA class). Any parent OK with a coach doing that to their child has some issues, and that is all I will say because I don't want the points.

Your consistently saying it's abuse doesn't impress me on any levels since all you ever do is use the word as if it has magical powers. Same can be said for the snark about parenting skills. Raise your children the way you wish to with my tacit approval which of course you don't need.
And vice versa.

Bowing out with all the grace I don't need to muster.

 

[mom2rtk]

I saw the footage before it was mentioned here. I cringed and thought it looked like abuse the moment I saw it.

 

[Magpie]

Known moments in fiction and history of drama queen children: "Children's Hour"; Salem witch trials; how about the Childrens' Crusades. No control over their bodies- where did that proto-feminist thought come from and truly what does it have to do with the topic at hand?
Consent would be between the young lady and her parents.
Who wanted her to take the classes? The parents or the young lady? Did the young lady actually do the required pre class stretches and exercises? Did she put her heart into it at all?? That's the only other possibility that comes to mind and how would anyone in authority know if she dissembled?

I don't know (any more than you) what truly happened but I do know what the human body is capable of doing first hand. Your average 13 y/o's body can do a split. When you're older, rusty and dusty like me maybe not.
Should you prefer to not allow your children to participate in any team sports or use their bodies to full application this is your choice and unless you asked my opinion I'd have nothing to say about it nor would it affect me in the least.

What's to laugh about? A man lost his gainful employment doing what he loved. Other girls lost the benefit of his coaching and are bitter about it The young lady at the eye of the faux storm learned hopefully a valuable lesson about herself that was more painful to see in public than the video was for me.

Your consistently saying it's abuse doesn't impress me on any levels since all you ever do is use the word as if it has magical powers. Same can be said for the snark about parenting skills. Raise your children the way you wish to with my tacit approval which of course you don't need.
And vice versa.

Bowing out with all the grace I don't need to muster.

I'm quite sure that when I sign my children up for sports I am not "consenting" on their behalf to having them treated like this. Nor am I impressed at your suggestion that the young lady herself must be at fault for not doing the pre class stretches or exercises or even for not "putting her heart" into it. If she wants to be a slacker, that's on her. Boot her off the team, if you must. You're simply not allowed to forcibly hold someone down and stretch them to the point of injury while they scream for you to stop.

"Proto-feminist"?

Oh no, there's nothing "proto" about my feelings on this subject at all. But it does say a fair bit about you, that you consider this reasonable treatment of another human being. And that you place all your compassion and sympathy with the man who was fired, rather than the child who was injured at the hands of her teammates, at his direction and with his assistance.

I don't care what the gender of the child in the video is. It's wrong, no matter who it's being done to. I won't teach my kids that they can treat other people like that, and I won't teach them that it's okay for them to be treated like that, by anyone. If they say, "Stop!" we stop.

It's starting to sound like this team needed a Safe Word, since "please, stop" clearly wasn't clear enough!

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I also saw this on Instagram before this thread and cringed when I watched it. If someone did that to my kid it wouldn't be pretty.

 

[NCDisneyMom]

In regard to the video, that was horrible to watch. Hearing a child (yes, she is still a child), say "Please stop" NINE TIMES to an adult "authority figure" was heartbreaking. The first time she said "stop" should have been the end of it. Period.

As far as sports go, I never expected to be the "travel sport" Mom. Ever. My older son didn't play any sports after the first few years of rec department. My daughter played those same first years, but then kept going in basketball. We really thought it would be just the rec dept...maybe school at some point. Little did we know that she was going to develop a huge passion for the game, and WANT to do more. She is trying out for JV as a Freshman this year, and has played 2 years of travel ball now. She also has a private coach. All of this because she WANTS to, and we are happy to be able to support this passion of hers. Yes, it costs more than some other activities, but it's no less important to her than band was to me at that age. She actually wants to try out for a new travel team this year, one that will challenge her more, because she wants to play in college. She has made wonderful friends on these teams so, even when we travel, she is still socializing with friends. Not to mention, we are spending time as a family on these trips, as well.

And, around here, you are certainly not required to play on a travel team to play for a school team. There are girls trying out for basketball who play travel ball, and some who haven't touched a basketball since last winter. It's all good.

Look, if travel sports aren't for you, that's perfectly fine! And if you kid does a travel sport, that's perfectly fine, too! I see no reason at all to question "why" somebody does or doesn't do something. Each family is going to do what is right for them, and that's all that's needed.

 

[eeyoreandtink]

Up until this year. my DD did both All Star cheer and Dance. Due to an injury, she is just dancing this year. She is in the studio 12 hours a week. She is passionate about dance and works hard at her craft. I am happy to support that and value the lessons it teaches about the value of discipline, hard work, and perseverance.

 

[Hikergirl]

Your consistently saying it's abuse doesn't impress me on any levels since all you ever do is use the word as if it has magical powers. Same can be said for the snark about parenting skills. Raise your children the way you wish to with my tacit approval which of course you don't need.
And vice versa.

Bowing out with all the grace I don't need to muster.

The fact that you consistently justify what he did to that girl, and even go as far as accusing and blaming her is sickening.
Thank goodness her mother doesn't feel the same way, she did what she needed to do to expose what was going on and protect her kid and others from abuse and injury.