Family shower issue. What would you do

[starry_solo]

It's pretty rude in

They better tell the guest of honor, then, since her elder child was invited.

I don't think the guest of honor's child was invited.

 

[starry_solo]

I haven't kept up with all of the thread. Has it been reported where the shower will be held?

Nope.

 

[Action City]

It's pretty rude in


I don't think the guest of honor's child was invited.

OP said her and her 3 year old daughter are going to a birthday party (ruse to get her to surprise shower). It probably would have been mentioned to the guest of honor if her child was unwanted at this party.

 

[sk!mom]

OP back again the showers I've been to the DD of the adults were invited. The names weren't on the invites it was just a given they were invited and most of the times the DS didn't come but if they did it was no big deal . its funny I was talking to DD tonight and she said her and DGD were going to a surprise birthday party on Sunday so now I know my 3 year old DGD will there ...

No big deal to you but do you REALLY know if it was never a problem for the hosts? If these were showers given by your "circle" maybe you did but this shower is given by work friends and they prefer no children.

Honestly I'm a mom and an elementary teacher so I love kids but I always prefer "no kids" at adult events. And to me, it's an adult event if there aren't activities planned to keep the kids busy.

 

[allison443]

To me this sounds like a lot of unnecessary drama. OP’s niece, who is best friends with the OP’s DD, has an 18 month old daughter. OP asked the organizer if this 18 month old was included in the invite. The organizer said ok but now doesn’t want the 18 month old there. OP never gave us the reason why. I’m sure the 18 month old doesn’t care!!! Is the niece going to refuse to attend the shower for her best friend because her toddler is not included? I can’t imagine that.

The 3 year old is the daughter of the DD (the shower honoree) so I can see her being included.

OP I hope you are able to just enjoy what should be a happy occasion! Congrats on the new grandchild!!

 

[sk!mom]

Sorry hikergirl but I don't agree that this is my fault based on what I Expierenced but everyone is entitled to their own opinion and as someone else posted different parts of the country things are done differently Coworker asked for family guest list. Which I gave her. Since I only met this person twice I wanted to verify niece DD which I was told is fine. Also aPP said it was rude for host to say now no kids I know my DD would be very hurt if the kids weren't there there were kids at both her wedding shower and first baby shower. She also said that since I didn't have niece full new address she said no
Problem I'll find it. Well obviously she didn't cause niece didn't get one and when someone tells me they'll take care of something I figure they will and don't like to keep asking Another thing that came up I called her about my best friend whose also DD godmother and is always included in family things she just said sure just have her come along. Oh well. At this point I'm just letting the chips fall where they may.

So you do not know the hosts well? Why not just appreciate their efforts to honor your DD without creating an issue over children?

Unless you are paying for the shower then you are a guest. Guests don’t dictate who, what, when, where or how. You can offer up opinions but ultimately you have no say, you are a guest.

If your DD is going to be upset that kids are not included in her SECOND baby shower then that doesn’t say very nice things about her. She should be gracious and thankful that people made this effort for a second baby.

Exactly! The more I read, the worse I feel for the hostesses who were just trying to do something nice.

 

[tzolkin]

They better tell the guest of honor, then, since her elder child was invited.

Just because they said no to the niece and other children does not mean that this particular child is not included.

I have been to several “second baby” and bridal showers where an older sister was included, but no other children were invited.

 

[VandVsmama]

Don't most new mothers have multiple showers?

Nope! Nobody ever threw me a baby shower when I was pregnant for either of my kids. No coworkers threw me one because I was a telecommuter at the time and everybody was located in multiple other locations far away from where we live.

This baby shower drama is silly. Getting worked up over what is basically a 2 hour party. Focus on celebrating the new life that's about to arrive and let your heart lead you in the direction that you (OP) feel is best.

It's a baby shower, not a wedding.

 

[Skywalker]

I had a shower for a work friend once, had it at my house. I told everyone that asked me, no children. The reason I didn't want kids around is basically because I had 2 dogs and a swimming pool with easy access and I felt I would not be able to relax and enjoy the party having little ones around or having to rely on their parents watching them properly, which so many don't. But, the mother of the mom, told people they could bring kids! So we had some people showing up with kids and other people grumbling "well if I had known kids were invited I would have brought mine." And I couldn't outright say well, kids were not invited, because that would have been rude to the people who were there with kids. So I bit my tongue but I hated it all around. I remember my mother going to showers and I never went - it was an event for women.