not really me
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2017
So this is a fake account because I just want to keep this personal.
Here is the background.
My daughter was molested by my nephew 3-4 years ago. We have known about it for 3 years. She was 12 my nephew (let's call him John) was 17. She has said it was inappropriate touching on several occasions. This all occurred at my parents home where my sister and my nephew lived and continue to live.
We found out when we read some of a notebook my daughter had about how she wanted to kill herself and she couldn't live like this. She told us about the abuse when we talked to her about it. I immediately met with my sister and told her about the situation, urged her to get my nephew some help and explained that we would not be around John anymore. I also spoke to my parents about this and was clear that since John still lived with them we would not be visiting their home.
My daughter saw a therapist for 2 years, she's good now but just has stated getting interested in dating. We did not press charges against my nephew. I also have another nephew, John's older brother, who I never spoke to about this. He is 5 years older than John, now married and a new dad to a baby boy.
So we have been splitting the holidays up more but seeing my parents less and less. In fact, we haven't seen them at all this year. Every invite we have extended they have an excuse for. The kicker came on Father's Day. We were going out to eat and my sister texted me that my parent's weren't coming since John was not invited!!! I was so mad and hurt. I believe that's why they have not seen us all year and just made up excuses.
I called my mother a week or so later to talk to her and my other nephew was there and she asked if she could call me back that night. Instead she texted me that night saying I sounded cold and distant and she didn't want to talk.
She has recently been in the hospital with unexplained high blood pressure and some other issues and I have spoken to her but only about her health. My dad tried to tell me my mother felt like she was being punished because we never come over their house.
Sorry for the long rambling but I just am so mad about this! I finally talked to my other nephew about it to see if he knew and that we wanted to visit his new baby but did not want to see his brother. He had no clue. We had a nice visit and since then he hasn't texted me back and he unfriended my husband and I on Facebook.
So has anyone else experienced this? A therapist friend told me this might happen that we might end up being the bad guys. I am clear that I will not have my children around John and as long as my parents have him living there we won't go over there home.
Otherwise, I am just very sad that my parents have done this to my children (I also have a younger son) and isolated them in what feels like preference over the other.
Here is the background.
My daughter was molested by my nephew 3-4 years ago. We have known about it for 3 years. She was 12 my nephew (let's call him John) was 17. She has said it was inappropriate touching on several occasions. This all occurred at my parents home where my sister and my nephew lived and continue to live.
We found out when we read some of a notebook my daughter had about how she wanted to kill herself and she couldn't live like this. She told us about the abuse when we talked to her about it. I immediately met with my sister and told her about the situation, urged her to get my nephew some help and explained that we would not be around John anymore. I also spoke to my parents about this and was clear that since John still lived with them we would not be visiting their home.
My daughter saw a therapist for 2 years, she's good now but just has stated getting interested in dating. We did not press charges against my nephew. I also have another nephew, John's older brother, who I never spoke to about this. He is 5 years older than John, now married and a new dad to a baby boy.
So we have been splitting the holidays up more but seeing my parents less and less. In fact, we haven't seen them at all this year. Every invite we have extended they have an excuse for. The kicker came on Father's Day. We were going out to eat and my sister texted me that my parent's weren't coming since John was not invited!!! I was so mad and hurt. I believe that's why they have not seen us all year and just made up excuses.
I called my mother a week or so later to talk to her and my other nephew was there and she asked if she could call me back that night. Instead she texted me that night saying I sounded cold and distant and she didn't want to talk.
She has recently been in the hospital with unexplained high blood pressure and some other issues and I have spoken to her but only about her health. My dad tried to tell me my mother felt like she was being punished because we never come over their house.
Sorry for the long rambling but I just am so mad about this! I finally talked to my other nephew about it to see if he knew and that we wanted to visit his new baby but did not want to see his brother. He had no clue. We had a nice visit and since then he hasn't texted me back and he unfriended my husband and I on Facebook.
So has anyone else experienced this? A therapist friend told me this might happen that we might end up being the bad guys. I am clear that I will not have my children around John and as long as my parents have him living there we won't go over there home.
Otherwise, I am just very sad that my parents have done this to my children (I also have a younger son) and isolated them in what feels like preference over the other.
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