Feeling selfish... and annoyed...


Earning My Ears
Jul 16, 2015
Hey all! Hope this is the right place to post this, was wavering between here and the CB but figured you all may be able to shed some light on this for me :)
My best friend has been with her partner for nearly 10 years, they got married almost 3 years ago. For awhile now when I hung out with them together it felt kind of chilly, but I didn't really think much of it. Until the end of this past September when BFF called out of the blue and said her DW was leaving her, planning on moving back to live with family across the country. They have certainly had some problems in the past (BFF called once lamenting that DW had THROWN A DISH AT HER!! :scared1:) But I don't think either of us saw this coming!
So on to the title of the thread...
Since September I have been helping BFF, consoling her, talking things out with her... and that's all we've been doing. Every time we are on the phone, every time I'm at her apartment or she's at the house, in each and every text. It's gotten to the point that my DH is getting annoyed because I can easily spend 2 hours on the phone with her rehashing the same conversations over and over and I finally have to be the one to end the call. I realize that it is remarkably difficult, what she is going through. And I feel so badly that she has to deal with this:sad1: But at the same time I feel like it's sucking all of my time and emotional energy. To complicate things, her DW was VERY introverted, so they never went anywhere and BFF has no other real friends (we met through work) I have suggested therapy but she said money is too tight for it. I suggested calling the 211 number for united way to see if there is free counseling available anywhere, but she flat out refuses because she has had bad experiences in the past? she wouldn't go into it any further than that:confused3 I am at my wits end! I want so badly to help her but I am at a loss.... any suggestions? thoughts? flames, even! I'll take ANYTHING at this point!!:goodvibes


Apr 17, 2013
tell your friend to write out her problems in a dairy or online to vent, you tried to help her but she is not wanting to take the words you say to heart. It like like when people say they can talk in till they are blue in the face and the other person still says no they are wrong, good luck with your friend.

Chuck S

DVC Co-Moderator
Feb 6, 2000
If you live in a large city, there are usually some sort of Gay/Lesbian organizations and help lines. I would suggest to her that they certainly offer friendly counseling therapists and emotional support. And if she says she doesn't want to try it, or doesn't know of any local organizations, you can contact PFLAG or GLAAD and they probably have a list or organizations and services you could provide to her.


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