Found child using drugs?

[TheConsciousness]

Has anyone ever found their child hiding drugs or alcohol from them?
How did you react?
How old were they?

 

[J'aime Paris]

No and No

 

[Marchand63]

No but I was the child hiding using drugs & alcohol.



My mother cried her eyes out, my father was so upset. They grounded me for like 3 weeks and took me to our family Dr. Did it stop me - nope. I think I spent my entire Sr year in HS high. I only drank at parties on the weekend. I even dated a coke dealer at one time - took him to my Sr prom.

I only stopped the day I found out I was pregnant - Dec 18, 1983.

I was very honest with my child while he was growing up, I like to think he learned from it.

How you react would be to me - what drugs, length & how much they have been doing them. How often? If you think they have an addiction get help fast.

 

[powellrj]

1 yes
2 not well
3 20
Not only found out about the drinking, found out it was much more serious than I knew because they were away at college. On advice of a bail bondsman took them to rehab when they bailed out.

 

[Hikergirl]

No for my kids at this point but I'm kind of expecting to find something (most likely alcohol) in my youngest's possession, he's 15. My older two are college students and aren't a concern.
I was caught with alcohol a few times as a teen and I was grounded for a very long time IIRC but it never stopped me from partying.

Dh and I have been very open and candid with our kids about drugs and alcohol. We have never outright forbid it because we know that if they want to try it they will (I'm talking about pot and alcohol). The harder stuff of course we have told them to stay away from.
They know we aren't going to allow them to have a stash in their room, and that drugs of any kind are never allowed in our house. I honestly don't know what we would do if we caught any of them with drugs, it would definitely depend on what drugs they had, how much and how often they were using it. If we found alcohol we'd probably just take it away.

 

[jt'smom]

We've always let our son have a alcohol at home from the time he was around 16 or so, but I don't mean sitting around getting smashed, I mean having a beer/glass of wine with dinner, or a finger of scotch while smoking a cigar with his dad. He didn't go and "party" in high school since he wasn't super social. Once he got to college, I know he smoked a little pot, because we talked about whether he had ever smoked a bong or not. Past freshmen year, he realized that pot was out because if he wanted the summer jobs that he had, he was going to have a drug test during the hiring process! I know he did the normal college partying as far as alcohol underage, since one of his best friends is on the crew team, and the crew team is the primary supplier of cheap beer for sale to the underage students at his college. He's 22 now, and a college senior, so it's all moot anyway, but now we laugh because he's probably the only college student that has a nicely stocked liquor cabinet in his room with Macallan scotch and Ketel One vodka instead of apple brandy and rot gut vodka, lol. We actually had the drug discussion yesterday, because I was asking him if he ever did any drugs other than smoke pot, and he told us no. He did tell us, when he was a freshmen, he almost snorted coke, but he figured that with his history of easy nose bleeds, that would be stupid. I'd say his pragmatism is one of his best traits!

 

[kimblebee]

Has anyone ever found their child hiding drugs or alcohol from them?
How did you react?
How old were they?

La rule

 

[Kitty 34]

No and no. I did find a "girlie" magazine tucked away in the drawer I always used once a month in the bathroom if you KWIM. My oldest son at the time was 14 and he and his buddy thought that drawer was never used. Well guess what; Ma found the magazine and had a little chit chat with my son at the time. And you know what, I just spent one of the best weekends of my life with that son, his pregnant wife and my glorious little grandson just this weekend, 24 years later!

Drugs and alcohol........probably a lot different, tho. Good luck OP!

 

[Marchand63]

No and no. I did find a "girlie" magazine tucked away in the drawer I always used once a month in the bathroom if you KWIM. My oldest son at the time was 14 and he and his buddy thought that drawer was never used. Well guess what; Ma found the magazine and had a little chit chat with my son at the time. And you know what, I just spent one of the best weekends of my life with that son, his pregnant wife and my glorious little grandson just this weekend, 24 years later!

Drugs and alcohol........probably a lot different, tho. Good luck OP!

Found those too. Normal & natural.our reaction just in private. No chit chat needed

 

[easyas123]

No, although we were also the parents that allowed a glass of wine or the occasional beer with Dad prior to being 21. Always at home - plus my kids spent a lot of time w/ grandparents who lived in an area where the legal age was 18, and it was more of a suggestion vs. the rule. That allowed us to be out at restaurants and have a casual drink w/ them without it being a big deal. One drinks on occasion, the other not really at all now that they are adults. Their father and I are drinkers - Never found drugs, did find condoms. But I can't complain about that vs. NOT using them. I'd have been more upset over them smoking cigarettes I think, than sneaking booze. Drugs would have been difficult, we got lucky and we know it and are thankful.
I have fond memories of hiding booze while in boarding school. We'd bring it back after the holidays. Of course our house mother smoked in her suite so ya know....One Christmas my grandparents picked me up for the Christmas holiday. My grandmother thought the idea of boarding school to be terribly romantic, so she came up to our suite and had a cig w/ my suitemates and drank from her flask. Ah the 80's......And I still have that flask!

 

[jevs]

No to both, at the moment. Alcohol wouldn’t be as big a deal as drugs although I’d still have a word with them about it. Drugs is a very big deal but hopefully none will go down that road, they all want to travel and already know how easy it is to lose travel privileges ie. they know we only need a ESTA for travel to the US, and nothing for other countries.

Drugs are one of my top concerns as know it doesn’t matter what kind of family upbringing you’ve been exposed to/experienced it isn’t a 100% guarantee that your kids will be safe. This goes for both illicit and prescriptive drug addictions.

 

[dosekies]

Not sure if my parents ever actually found drugs on my brothers. We were all allowed to casually drink at family gatherings prior to being 21 and both of my brothers definitely had house parties when my parents weren't home. My older brother was definitely the worst of us in high school, so I wouldn't be surprised if he every had anything. My younger brother just graduated college so my mom gave him the warning to stop smoking if he was doing anything because he would probably be drug tested for job interviews.

My parents are very laid back so, like I said, the alcohol (other than the house parties) was allowed and I don't think my mom would freak out about pot, but anything other than that wouldn't be acceptable.

 

[LovesTimone]

In my group of friends in our high school years we were allowed to a beer or wine cooler like out by the pool, or with dinner, or at a party at home. Because of that it wasn't as fun to sneak around and drink. The only real drug that was around then was "pot". Just the smell turned me off...

We allowed DD to try beer and wine during high school, she hated to taste of it. So really no problem... She came home and told me see and some of her friends tried "weed" she said she hated the way it made her feel... so that was that. We also had a rule, if you are out and are drinking or someone you are with is drinking - Do not drive or Do not get in the car with someone that has been drinkings or is impaired, call us we will come pick you up, and no judgement's. Twice we did go pick her up once she had been drinking she wasn't drunk but she said she had 2 drinks of some kind of punch, and the other was the driver was drinking. Thankful all the preaching we did she listened and we got her home safe and sound.

 

[ronandannette]

Our DS was in a small group of kids (I’m going to say they were 16 & 17; all under-aged) that took liquor to a friend’s house one NYE. When the parents found them (all at least a little drunk) the rained down holy hell. Of all places to pull such a stunt, they picked the worst. It was fairly typical hijinx but we did support the other parents and disciplined our kid accordingly, not the least of which was for having so disrespected their home when he totally knew better.

During those teen years we also tossed his room and backpack a time or two and never found any evidence of drugs. We were lucky that way. Recreational marijuana use becomes legal here in a few months. I’m not sure if DS uses now or if he plans to; at 21 I can’t control that. But as long as he lives at home he won’t be welcome to store it or use it on our premises.

 

[RangerPooh]

Not my child but niece, we learned of her junior high or high school drinking and drugs (at parties). SIL didn't really seem to care too much about it and we were basically told to stay out of their business. Then the cops showed up and dear niece and friends was slapped with MIP, community service, and threatened with more. She did learn for a short time to stay away from that stuff. Resumed a few months later but eventually stopped.

 

[sjrec]

No, thank goodness, but as jevs pointed out it can happen in any family-we have friends that have lost a child to heroin and the older sibling never used any type of drugs or drank underage. Heartbreaking.
My biggest fear when my daughter went off to college was getting into a car with someone who had been drinking. We sat her down and said no judgment, just use your emergency credit card for a cab! We don’t care what it cost! With Uber and Lyft now, that would be even easier.

 

[Micca]

When our DDs were teenagers I found their stash of beer they were hiding in the shrubs outside the house. I brought it all in and put it in the fridge for a few days so they could stew over it. Then over a period of a few days I opened and consumed the beer right in front of them just to rub it in.

 

[nkereina]

My aunt learned that my cousin had "tried heroin" and three weeks later, my cousin died from heroin laced with fentanyl. Her friends say she was not an addict, used maybe 3-4 times, and it wasn't an overdose - just bad drugs. Point being is that even if kids are experimenting by dabbling in drugs of any kind, it can go awry very quickly. It can't be taken seriously enough.

My aunt obviously did not have time to intervene, but in retrospect, she would have loved to have a heart to heart with my cousin while being open, level-headed, and non-judgmental. I think if my cousin had felt open about sharing why she was doing what she was doing, she would have been receptive to help and change. Anger, sadness, etc. are normal reactions but it needs to be approached with caution IMO.

 

[Colleen27]

We've had a couple of incidents, each within the realm of what I'd consider normal for teen/young adult experimentation. I'll be honest - it isn't something I see as worth freaking out about in an older teen (17+) or young adult. Once I had to pick DS up from a party where everyone had clearly been drinking and/or smoking pot. He was 18, and I was just glad he called for a ride when his driver decided not to stay sober. He's 20 now and he'll sometimes tell me he's going to a party with so-and-so and planning to stay the night. I'm not stupid, I know what that means. We've always talked a lot about moderation and he knows the proverbial poop would hit the fan if I ever find out he's doing something more than alcohol or pot, but he is also familiar enough with addiction and overdose issues in our family and elsewhere that he draws a bright line on "hard" drugs and on the frequency of imbibing "lesser" substances.

 

[katie01]

My aunt learned that my cousin had "tried heroin" and three weeks later, my cousin died from heroin laced with fentanyl. Her friends say she was not an addict, used maybe 3-4 times, and it wasn't an overdose - just bad drugs. Point being is that even if kids are experimenting by dabbling in drugs of any kind, it can go awry very quickly. It can't be taken seriously enough.

My aunt obviously did not have time to intervene, but in retrospect, she would have loved to have a heart to heart with my cousin while being open, level-headed, and non-judgmental. I think if my cousin had felt open about sharing why she was doing what she was doing, she would have been receptive to help and change. Anger, sadness, etc. are normal reactions but it needs to be approached with caution IMO.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I totally agree with what you've said. The photo contained in this article illustrates it startlingly https://www.businessinsider.com/why-fentanyl-is-deadlier-than-heroin-in-a-single-photo-2017-8