Godparents Role

[siren0119]

No, being a godparent is not a legal thing. It is something for the Catholic faith. I always thought the role of a godparent is to see that the child is raised in the Catholic faith. They are supposed to be practicing Catholics who will be role models to the child. They would be present at important Catholic events such as the baptism, Confirmation, wedding etc.

I don't believe it has anything to do with raising the children in the event of the parents death. That would be called a legal guardian and a lawyer would have to draw up a document for all parties to sign. Nothing to do with the church. At least that's what I always thought.

I think a PP mentioned it's not just a Catholic thing, but yeah it's *meant* to be a way to appoint people to be spiritual mentors for a child. Some christian churches have the entire congregation make a statement of commitment to a child being dedicated that is functionally the same as a Godparent.

It's not out of the question that a person appointed as a godparent might ALSO be legally designated as a child's guardian if anything happens to the parents, but that's more coincidental and due to the fact that godparents are often chosen because they are trusted and close with the parents. Being a Godparent on its own isn't a legally binding arrangement in any way.

 

[1GoldenSun]

Wow. I'm glad I was never asked to be a godparent.

Although i guess the fact that I'm the kind of person who is glad about this is an indication of why I've never been chosen to be a godparent.

 

[anniemae]

I think a PP mentioned it's not just a Catholic thing, but yeah it's *meant* to be a way to appoint people to be spiritual mentors for a child. Some christian churches have the entire congregation make a statement of commitment to a child being dedicated that is functionally the same as a Godparent.

It's not out of the question that a person appointed as a godparent might ALSO be legally designated as a child's guardian if anything happens to the parents, but that's more coincidental and due to the fact that godparents are often chosen because they are trusted and close with the parents. Being a Godparent on its own isn't a legally binding arrangement in any way.

Right, but if the parents wanted the Godparents to also be legal guardians, they would have to go to a lawyer and have forms drawn up to be signed by all parties. As you said, one has nothing to do with the other, it would be more of a coincidence. Being a Godparent has nothing to do with being a legal guardian, and that is a common misconception.

 

[tvguy]

I'm not Catholic, so I can't speak to the religious obligations in that faith. I have always thought of being a Godparent as kind of a honor for close friends with no responsibilities. And as far as I know, none of the people I know who have asked someone to be a Godparent to their child is doing anything more than honoring a close family friend.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

We are not Catholic. DS and his fiancee have been asked to be godparents for their friend's baby. They were told that when she goes into labor, they have to go to the hospital immediately. This is okay if it's on the weekend I guess but DS is a paramedic and FDIL is a dental assistant, so they can't just leave work at a moments notice. I think it's a lot to ask of a young couple who needs to work. I think getting to the hospital as soon as possible after the baby is born should be sufficient. The couple expecting the baby have another child and it's godparents are someone else if that matters. I realize it it totally none of my business but I was wondering if anyone else had heard of this or what everyone's take on it is.

Being a godparent can be purely symbolic with no duties at all, or just a few or a promise to be a teacher of whatever faith or range all the way to you're promising to be the back up parents if something happens to the parents complete with legal paperwork filed to the effect. It's kind of an individual thing.

But no matter how involved the role is in a particular case, being a Godparent is a voluntary thing. If what someone is asking is too much to ask, or someone thinks they can't do it, there is no shame in declining.

 

[Pooh2]

We are not Catholic. DS and his fiancee have been asked to be godparents for their friend's baby. They were told that when she goes into labor, they have to go to the hospital immediately.

That is kind of weird request regardless of their being godparents.

Both of our daughter-in-laws have had babies in the past year and requested that family wait a few hours after the birth to come visit so they had some time to themselves with their newborn and take a badly needed nap.

Do they expect their friends to join them in the delivery room, or wait for hours on end in the waiting room?

 

[gotomu212]

That is kind of weird request regardless of their being godparents.

Both of our daughter-in-laws have had babies in the past year and requested that family wait a few hours after the birth to come visit so they had some time to themselves with their newborn and take a badly needed nap.

Do they expect their friends to join them in the delivery room, or wait for hours on end in the waiting room?

Yeah, forget the godparents discussion the crazy pants part is they want your son and daughter in law to sit around a hospital for hours while she labors. That seems like a really weird ask of friends unless they were insanely close (like siblings close).

 

[cabanafrau]

Being a godparent definitely isn't limited to Catholicism. We are Lutheran and selecting godparents is also commonly part of our tradition -- although on the baptismal certificate and in the Sunday bulletin it is noted as Baptismal Sponsors.

We also act as godparents to a godchild that has not been baptized. The ceremony when he was a baby was referred to as a dedication. Apparently the baptism will occur when he is deemed of an age and maturity sufficient to take that step. It's a non denominational faith. Frankly I've never been able to make heads or tails out of how or when he will be deemed ready to take the step.

ETA We have never been requested to be present at the hospital for the birth of any of our godchildren. One is actually adopted, so that might have made things a tad awkward.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

We are “ legal guardians” to several of our nieces and nephews but they have different people who are their godparents.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

Just curious, does your god parent “ duty” expire when the child turns 18?

 

[Julie's Haircut]

OP, your son and his fiancee need to decline this "honor."

 

[BlueStarryHat]

Just curious, does your god parent “ duty” expire when the child turns 18?

I can only speak for myself, no. For instance, at my Godson's wedding I was given a corsage to wear and I brought the Gifts up to the Altar along with his fiancee's Godmother. In my family, it's customary to stop buying Christmas gifts for adults once they have children (buy for the kids instead), except for your Godchildren no matter how old they are.

 

[siren0119]

Being a godparent definitely isn't limited to Catholicism. We are Lutheran and selecting godparents is also commonly part of our tradition -- although on the baptismal certificate and in the Sunday bulletin it is noted as Baptismal Sponsors.

We also act as godparents to a godchild that has not been baptized. The ceremony when he was a baby was referred to as a dedication. Apparently the baptism will occur when he is deemed of an age and maturity sufficient to take that step. It's a non denominational faith. Frankly I've never been able to make heads or tails out of how or when he will be deemed ready to take the step.

ETA We have never been requested to be present at the hospital for the birth of any of our godchildren. One is actually adopted, so that might have made things a tad awkward.

In some Christian churches, baptism is equivalent to confirmation in the Catholic church - it's a step the individual takes when they feel fully ready to commit/dedicate themselves to the faith "publicly". Churches who follow that doctrine and practice will dedicate babies, and then as the child grows they can decide to be baptized at whatever point they are able to knowingly and independently declare their faith.

 

[LSUmiss]

My daughter has godparents but it is in name only. Heck, I’m an atheist and her father isn’t religious as far as I know. He’s the one who wanted her to have them, pretty much insisted on it. I didn’t care so I just went along with it.

We are similar but chose godparents & baptized DS b/c he will attend catholic school. We decided he can decide for himself when he’s older.

 

[Hikergirl]

Just curious, does your god parent “ duty” expire when the child turns 18?

I guess that depends on how big of a part of your God children's lives.
We are very close to our friends and their kids, they are 7,16 and 18.
Dh is Godfather to two of his nephews and one of his nieces (18, 25, 25) and very close.
In our cases being Godparents (even though official by the Church) never meant we helped raise them with faith, our family and our friends were never really religious. It really is more symbolic because the kids were baptized and Godparents were needed for the ceremony.
We were designated as legal guardians of our friends kids and 2 of our nephews but that was obviously for legal reasons since being their Godparents has no legal standing if anything were to happen to their parents.

 

[Katie Dawn]

Thanks for your speedy replies! I always thought the role was to raise the child(ren) in the death of the parents also. And another weird thing is, they're different denominations so it's not about raising the child in their chosen faith. I think it's more a symbolic thing maybe? FDIL was the one who told me about being at the hospital and when I asked DS about it and he didn't know anything about it.

Like others, I grew up with the understanding that a godparent is someone who would raise the child if the parents die. The fact that their two kids have different godparents makes me think that's not part of the deal, since it would mean splitting the kids up.

As an adult I learned that for others it means someone who will provide spiritual guidance. But it seems that's it what the couple is going after since they aren't religious.

Either way, no, I've never heard of godparents needing to be at the hospital.

Since it seems expectations can vary ... Do you know if your son/fiancee know exactly what the expectations are? Are they friends with the other set of godparents? Clear communication seems imperative in this situation.

If you find out what the expectations are let us know because now I'm curious!

 

[Forevermarypoppins]

IF these new to be parents are going to insist on the soon to be "God parents" to be in attendance for the birth, what else are they going to demand for the next 18 years? I say : decline politely from the trap that has been set before them.

 

[DisneyHardin]

Just curious, does your god parent “ duty” expire when the child turns 18?

I had my aunt, who is my Godmother do a reading at my wedding.

 

[goofyernmost]

This sounds strange. I am a catholic and being at the hospital is not a requirement of the godparents. Godparents’ role is to provide spiritual support to the child as he or she grows. They are supposed to help the parents raise the child in the faith. So that might be attend church, discuss ethics and morals, be a sounding board for the child with life’s problems. Assist the child at first communion.

That is correct. Godparents do no show up until the Baptism and it is as a symbolic position that promises to make sure they the child is raised in the faith if something happens to the parents. They do not get to usurp the powers of the parent. Anyone that saw the Godfather movie knows how that works. I'm not sure what those people are thinking. I have been a Catholic for 70 years and have been a Godfather twice. Other then showing up at the Baptism and denouncing satin as a spokesperson for the baby... I've had nothing to do at all since then.

 

[Kellydelly]

I think it is a bit much to expect anyone to show up at the hospital when you are admitted in labor. Unless it is the baby daddy.

Everyone should leave the family alone and just show up a day or two after they go home and bring them nice dinners.

I realize they are being requested, but they should be asked and have the option to say they have obligations but can't wait to meet the new baby when they are available.