Goody!! Another wedding present thread...

[lovemygoofy]

Yeah, there hasn't been a wedding gift thread in a hot minute so here I am regretting this as I type it lol

If you know the couple getting married or the family hosting the wedding is wealthy, does that change your wedding gift amount? We are going to another wedding this weekend and the family hosting is quite wealthy and the wedding couple is comfortable off not hurting and will inherit much. Does all this influence the wedding gift?

We went to the bride's sister's wedding this past summer so same wealthy family and the wedding couple are doctors in Beverly Hills. I was interested to see or hear that apparently people weren't as "generous" in their gifts from that wedding according to the mother of the bride.

 

[jrmasm]

No. My relationship with the bride or groom is the only factor that affects the gift I give.

 

[leebee]

Nope. I know what I can afford to give, based on my relationship with the happy couple.

 

[Floridaman999]

I give what I can afford to give and that has no bearing on the wealth of the recipient.

 

[Kitty 34]

No. My relationship with the bride or groom is the only factor that affects the gift I give.

Nope. I know what I can afford to give, based on my relationship with the happy couple.

I give what I can afford to give and that has no bearing on the wealth of the recipient.

This.

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

Regardless if it is family or friends, my go-to amount is $100/person so my hubs and I end up doing $200. My hubs likes to up the amount if he is really close to the person so if he opts to do that, he pays the overage lol.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Thank you for the replies. I agree with you all. I give what I want no matter the cost of the reception or the wealth of the family.
When my husband and I first started going to these kind of weddings, he was very insistent that we needed to gift much more but we couldn't afford such.
Now we can but I just want to give what I want to give and don't really follow pressure of the internet.

 

[luvsJack]

I don’t go to many rich folks gift giving events but on the times that I have, I tend to try to find something meaningful.

For instance, my niece isn’t what I would call rich but she makes an insane amount of money and her husband is well up there too. For their wedding, I gave her a silver frame with a quote of my dad’s (her grandfather) about marriage engraved on it. And a check too. She still has it with a wedding picture in it.

If you just give money, stay with what you can afford.

 

[wishesuponastar]

I wouldn’t let a couple’s wealth influence my gift. We generally give $75/person for weddings so if it’s just me and DH then $150. If our 2 kids go then we give $300. We also give a gift for bridal shower off the registry for about $40.

 

[Skellingtonj]

This.

Yep. And the word generous is relative. I would think a $1000 check was insanely generous, a wealthy family wooiod not.

 

[superme80]

It honestly depends on how much I like the person.

 

[ronandannette]

Honestly, if I know money is something a couple really doesn't need it results in us not giving them money. I'll try hard to find something heart-felt that I know they will find meaningful. I have a number of family members that are quite affluent - the last thing they'd be thrilled by is a $100 cheque or a gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond.

 

[okeydokey]

My husband and I were having this conversation last night. Need to send a wedding gift to his Nephew who just had a destination wedding in Mexico this past weekend. Super expensive airfare meant that only my husband went to the wedding. They created a wedding registry with just one item, money for their house fund. He was debating whether we give him a smaller gift than if he hadn’t had to pay 1200 to attend the wedding.

 

[Disney Doll]

Tacky to register for money. Tell DH to give what you can comfortably afford.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I find it interesting that it is the mother of the bride who is saying people are not as generous. How does she know? Maybe her normal amount to give is higher (in line with her income) and she thinks those giving what they normally do are shirking her kids?

In any event, hmmm, overall I would say no it does not matter. That said, a younger couple who are getting married on a shoestring budget and truly starting out and life---I tend to give more there than I would to more settled people. I like helping someone get a start.

I have absolutely never been a "cover your plate." We give what we can afford/are comfortable with and in relation to how well we know the person regardles of if the wedding is held at the VFW and is a potluck or held in a castle with three fully catered meals over the course of the day along with open bars and multiple live acts (yes, both examples are weddings I have been to).

 

[mjkacmom]

Tacky to register for money. Tell DH to give what you can comfortably afford.

Who said they registered for money? Anyway, we usually give $150 pp, that’s what I’d give regardless of how much money they have.

 

[cabanafrau]

I find it interesting that it is the mother of the bride who is saying people are not as generous. How does she know? Maybe he normal amount to ive is higher (in line with her income) and she thinks those giving what they normally do are shirking her kids?

In any event, hmmm, overall I would say no it does not matter. That said, a younger couple who are getting married on a shoestring budget and truly starting out and life---I tend to give more there than I would to more settled people. I like helping someone get a start.

I have absolutely never been a "cover your plate." We give what we can afford/are comfortable with and in relation to how well we know the person regardles of if the wedding is held at the VFW and is a potluck or held in a castle with three fully catered meals over the course of the day along with open bars and multiple live acts (yes, both examples are weddings I have been to).

I agree, I was intrigued the mother was the one making these statements.

I've not really been in this situation all that many times -- thinking back I think it always involved couples in their thirties who were well established in their careers and living situation. I always focused on finding something I thought was special enough to convey the idea we wished them well. One was a couple we knew extremely well so I had the benefit of a lot of insight into their tastes, interests and decor so I was able to get them a framed watercolor of a place that is very special to them. A couple other times we were more removed from the couple so I stuck with a more generic gift of handmade wineglasses with a nice bottle of wine.

 

[GreatLakes]

I find it interesting that it is the mother of the bride who is saying people are not as generous. How does she know?

Yea, my mom has no idea what anyone gave us for our wedding. That is just odd.

I also give based on my relationship with the couple and what I can afford. When I was younger and traveled for a wedding it meant I could afford less. How much they already had never played a part in what I gave.

 

[maddiel]

I am going to be the odd man out and say that the relative wealth of the recipient might factor in to my gift giving. I would be more like likely to give a larger gift for almost any occasion (wedding, birth of a child, birthday) to someone who is struggling than to someone who is not. I'd also be more likely to go with a more practical gift. My relationship to the recipient would be a bigger factor though.

M.

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree, I was intrigued the mother was the one making these statements.

I've not really been in this situation all that many times -- thinking back I think it always involved couples in their thirties who were well established in their careers and living situation. I always focused on finding something I thought was special enough to convey the idea we wished them well. One was a couple we knew extremely well so I had the benefit of a lot of insight into their tastes, interests and decor so I was able to get them a framed watercolor of a place that is very special to them. A couple other times we were more removed from the couple so I stuck with a more generic gift of handmade wineglasses with a nice bottle of wine.

My mom wrote down what every relative gave me (so she didn’t give less to their kids). Maybe an old Irish Catholic thing? She grew up poor, most of my dads family were pretty well off.