Hosting a Foreign Exchange Student

[mnrose]

I hosted a German exchange student last year. I got paid nothing. She was a dear sweet girl, and I consider her my daughter from another mother. I treated her as I treated my own children. She got Christmas gifts from us. We paid for her plane fare and housing when we went on trips. I fed her (of course!). She did come with her own spending money, so if she went out with friends, she paid. She bought her own toiletries, etc. She gave us gifts for Christmas and birthdays, and she paid for those. But, for that year, it was like having three kids rather than two. It was completely and totally worth it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. What we received in knowledge of another culture, and friendship (life long) could never have a financial price tag put on it.

 

[MrsPete]

I've never hosted an exchange student, but I'm open to the idea for the future. Being a teacher, I have had experience with a number of exchange students /host families, and I can share a number of comments:

- The perfect time to host is when your own children are in high school. This means your exchange student has a "built-in friend", someone with whom to ride the bus, etc.
- If I didn't have a high school student, I'd rather have TWO exchange students at once. Yeah, more money, but they'd "have someone" their own age.
- I assume everyone here would want to provide a stellar exchange experience for your student, so I agree with the person who said the family planned LOTS of vacations that year. I'd want to take an exchange student to ball games, hiking in state parks, to Washington DC, and more. I wouldn't take on a student if I didn't think I could provide those experiences.
- Students at our high school are VERY welcoming to exchange students. I've never heard of any student not being made 100% welcome at school.
- Host families, however, don't always work out. At a glance, I'd say about 30% of the ones I've known personally haven't "meshed" with their families, and they've moved to another home. I knew several families who were just "too different" to work well; one very conservative Christian family who was not pleased at their outspoken atheist guest, one elderly lady who just didn't interact with her guest, but usually it's just a matter of mismatched personalities. In these cases, the student usually moves into the home of a new school friend or a teacher.
- If you're asked to take on an exchange student only weeks before the school year starts, say no. It's a hint that other families haven't been willing to take on this particular student. If multiple host families have passed on a certain student, often a reason exists.
- Before you agree to take on a student, insist upon reading his or her application -- or, better yet, talk to him or her, if allowed. You're committing to letting this person into your home for a whole year; you need to be sure you're going to like the kid.
- The organization who places students has some strict rules; follow them. They have extensive experience with exchange students, and these rules aren't arbitrary. For example, exchange students aren't allowed to date one-on-one (though they are encouraged to go out with groups of friends). I know one family who thought this was silly; by Christmas the exchange student girl was deeply embroiled in a bad high school romance with a drug-addled boy. She didn't want to partake in school events or do things with the family -- she just wanted to hang out with this bad-influence boy, and things turned very ugly. If they'd followed the rules, they wouldn't have been in that situation.
- Students who've come to our area have been required to partake in two school activities -- sports teams, clubs, student council, school play, school newspaper whatever. The idea is that they didn't come here to sit in your house and eat chips; they came here to be a part of society, so be sure you're able /willing to support them with rides, etc. for these activities.
- Remember that you're going to be on the receiving end of the cultural exchange too. I remember one of my students bringing me food she and her host mom had prepared, and she talked about how much her host family had enjoyed her contribution.

 

[AlohaNow]

My son is currently on exchange through Rotary Youth Exchange and we will be paying that forward by hosting a student for a portion of next school year. I can assure you that through the Rotary program it is entirely volunteer. I would not want my own son staying with a family that was being paid to host him; I would want the connection to be more genuine. We were just matched with the student that we will host starting in January, and oddly enough, my son met up with him last week at an exchange conference in their country. So he was able to ask specific questions about my son’s high school and what life is like in our town. It really is such a small world! I could go on and on about international exchange, but I won’t. Just know, for anyone looking into it, Rotary has an extremely solid program that I cannot recommend highly enough! DH exchanged through Rotary 32 years ago and is now on our local committee. He spends a great deal of time volunteering for the program, making sure the inbounds in our district are doing well, and doing the necessary paperwork throughout the year. When I think about this year’s inbound batch going back home I get so sad. We've been involved with so many of their activities and our lives are no doubt richer for those connections. But then I think about my son coming home soon, and it almost makes me burst!