How much "down time" do you need?

Which describes your situation?

  • I thrive on being busy, and am really happy that way.

    Votes: 4 3.9%
  • I'm too busy, but I don't feel like I have a choice.

    Votes: 11 10.7%
  • It's all about the balance.

    Votes: 27 26.2%
  • My alone time is for everyone's sanity.

    Votes: 35 34.0%
  • I'd spend every day in PJs on the couch if I could.

    Votes: 26 25.2%

  • Total voters
    103
I don't feel a big need for "alone time" and I have plenty of down time. Maybe I could clean house more...

I work full time but now the girls are 16 and 19 so over the past year especially have had to get used to both of them being away from the house frequently. Now it's harvest season so DH was also gone till 9 last night. So last night, DD ate supper and left for play practice. I went on a walk with the dog, watched The Middle, and worked on a jigsaw puzzle, snapchatted with DD19 a bit. That was okay but I'd just as soon have some of them home with me.
 
My favorite kinds of weekends are the ones where we have NO plans and don't have to do anything. I like being home. I don't need constant stimulation and I hate being on other people's schedules. In our home, no one does any "activities" and I love that! Our time is our time. We do what we want as a family. It works for us. We are all pretty introverted. My husband is probably the most outgoing but he spends time with his buddies when I'm not up to going out. We are both happy with that arrangement.
 
I'm an introvert w/ social anxiety. I hope I'm pleasant & I try to keep my social anxiety hidden & participate in different things, but it's completely draining to me.

I need lots of mental down-time, & I'm a homebody. I love being at home, & I've tried to make our home a haven. I'm also one who doesn't like a lot of noise & clutter. (I'm the mom who thinks kids can - and should - play quietly indoors. They can be loud & run outside. LOL!)

If we have any kind of "event," I will stress & be anxious about for days beforehand.

For me, the hardest part of being a parent by far is having to parent as a shy introvert. All of their different activities & the different required social interactions are both stressful & exhausting for me.

But I do love to travel & go places & do things w/ DH & our children.
 
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I am most definitely an introvert. I have a fairly demanding job with long hours and some travel mixed in. At work, I participate in conversations, give presentations and lead a group, so I feel as though I am always "on." Probably because I am much more social than I would be inclined to be naturally. Therefore, it is important that I have down time.

When in the office, I have a 35-40 minute commute each way, unless traffic is horrible (I go to work later and stay late on days I go into the office to avoid the worst traffic) my drive time to listen to the radio and some 80's music serves as my down time and some "thinking" time. We do not have children, so I do not have activities or social events related to that. However, when my husband is in town, we always have dinner at home together. After dinner and before bed, I need some time to read on the computer or a book. This is very important to me. Between waking up and going to the gym in the morning, I get up at 4:15 just so I can sit with a cup of coffee and read or talk to my husband before the day begins. When I do not get this "relax time" at either end of my day for an extended period of time, it really does impact me.
 
This is where the "Gemini" in me shines through - I want both. I need downtime to maintain my sanity, but I love being busy. And although I'm an introvert, down time doesn't necessarily require being alone - just not having anyone else relying on me for a while. "Alone" (solo) at a coffeehouse or a concert is just as good as alone in my living room.

Where I struggle is with the mundane, the invisible work - the days of driving 50 miles of nowhere, just running errands and shuttling kids around, trying to clean the house with three kids and a husband who sometimes feel like they're following behind me to mess things up, the mental work of keeping a household going, that sort of thing. When it gets to feeling like that's all I'm doing, with no "fun" on the go stuff like travel or concerts or festivals and no "me time" in terms of working on a rewarding project or reading or watching the few shows I try not to miss without anyone interrupting, is when I'm at my most stressed and really need a break.
 


I have had down time since 06. But that is due to back issues. I would rather be working but can't. I spend most of my time laying down. I hate being alone , I have the dogs but I have the t.v. on all the time. I need the noise. I have other things I do while laying here.

As the OP, I was "liking" posts whether I voted the same or not, to let everyone know I appreciated so many replies, but I felt wrong "liking" this one because you sounded sad. I hope the DIS makes things a little better for you!!
 
I need both. I need socializing and getting out of the house but I also want home time. I don't want to be busy every night. Couple nights during the week and one or two things on the weekend suit me just fine.
 
Back in the day I didn't need a lot of down time. I loved being busy especially at my job. When I was home with my boys ( DH always worked 2nd shift) I did love watching about 2 hours of TV after the boys went to bed.

Now, I'm retired. All my time is "down" time unless I do something about it......which I often times do. ;)
 
Sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed because I am so busy nowadays... I do like to relax and do nothing sometimes, but I just don't have a lot of time to goof off anymore because of the direction in life I have been taking. Having a relationship/family and all that goes with it, there always seems to be something to do. I do like to have enough time to get laundry and housework done. I used to have a lot of downtime, and really no good became of that. I wasted a lot of time drinking wine, watching tv, and just generally doing nothing worthwhile.
 
Very much an introvert here. I have some regular monthly social activities, but for the most part I am quite content to have evenings at home. DH, though, is very much an extrovert. Despite this difference in temperaments, he's gotten pretty good at being respectful of my introversion - but I will admit there are times I will go out to eat or whatever because he wants to when I don't. Sometimes, he will just go out and get takeout so that I don't have to go anywhere. (He has accepted that, if I am "out" for multiple nights in a row, I will state that I am having a "denning day" on my next unscheduled day.) Another thing that has worked for us is that we have come to accept that it's okay to socialize separately as well as together.
 
Another introvert (& only child) here. I need downtime and am happy to relax by reading, or hanging out at home doing what I want. I do work full time, so value my evenings. When DS24 was younger and in sports, I loved those days of the sports & scouts. I do enjoy doing things but more at my pace and on my terms. Sometimes when we have something to do, I don't want to but once there, I am all good. However, neither of us are late night people.
 
This is where the "Gemini" in me shines through - I want both. I need downtime to maintain my sanity, but I love being busy. And although I'm an introvert, down time doesn't necessarily require being alone - just not having anyone else relying on me for a while. "Alone" (solo) at a coffeehouse or a concert is just as good as alone in my living room.

I'm a Capricorn, but I completely agree. I love to go to a movie alone or dinner or to almost any event. If I'm alone at home, I'm always thinking of what I "should" be doing (usually consisting of housework) vs what I would like to be doing!

Terri
 
Tons! Downtime and alone time-probably to the point where many others would feel "lonely". I need very little social interaction to be content and the line between content and overwhelmed is razor thin.

I feel smothered by other people easily both personally and generally in public.
 
Alone time or down time?
Been married 35 years, my wife and I still like each other. I HATE HATE HATE being alone.
Down time, we try and set aside one afternoon during the week, with little or nothing to do, but we will be together. it will be today, although I may cut the lawn, she may watch some baseball while I do that.
When we first got married we tried to set one weekend per month aside to do nothing. Literally not even get out of our pajamas the entire weekend. Stock up with food, wine, snacks on Friday, not leave the house Saturday or Sunday.
 
I don't really need alone time. I just don't want to constantly be having to be different places all day, everyday. I don't care if others are at home or not. I just want a few evenings a week and some time each weekend just to be home and veg and putter. I'm not an introvert or anything like that.
 

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