How much $$ would you give as wedding gift?

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

thanks for the lesson.

You're welcome

 

[NYCgrrl]

Just one question though - if you attend a very modest wedding do you adjust the gift down accordingly? Maybe nobody in your circle does budget DIY-type events or cake-and-punch or things like that; here practically anything goes.

Budget and DIY-type events still warrant the same gift on my end and are still done. I don't think cake and punch weddings are very common in the NE although I've heard of them happening in the Midwest and South; attended one in MI and a great time was had by all. That was during my earlier days in life ("starving" college student) so the gift was 2 Tiffany champagne flutes which were my go to present at the time.

 

[cabanafrau]

Budget and DIY-type events still warrant the same gift on my end and are still done. I don't think cake and punch weddings are very common in the NE although I've heard of them happening in the Midwest and South; attended one in MI and a great time was had by all. That was during my earlier days in life ("starving" college student) so the gift was 2 Tiffany champagne flutes which were my go to present at the time.

Cake and punch wedding receptions aren't the norm in Michigan based on my experience as a lifelong Michigander well past her starving college student days. I never even attended one in my starving college student days.

 

[aprilgail]

Just one question though - if you attend a very modest wedding do you adjust the gift down accordingly? Maybe nobody in your circle does budget DIY-type events or cake-and-punch or things like that; here practically anything goes.

I would. Same with kids parties-if someone has it at home I give less than if they have it out at a venue. And cake and punch weddings would get about what a kids birthday party does-never knew anyone to have that around here though.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I would. Same with kids parties-if someone has it at home I give less than if they have it out at a venue. And cake and punch weddings would get about what a kids birthday party does-never knew anyone to have that around here though.

That would have been cruel to do that to my sister-in-law. Her wedding reception was at a club house of an HOA and consisted of KFC with some homemade cake pops, boxed wine and bud light. That was well below what type of wedding reception we've been to before. I would hate to think that people who would have given more opted to reduce their gift based on the reception type.

I do understand more about kids parties but we're talking weddings not kids parties--I'm going to guess that the majority of folks make more monetary exceptions towards what they spend on weddings including the receptions over kids parties (yes I know some kids parties are crazy but doubtful that's the majority).

 

[NYCgrrl]

Cake and punch wedding receptions aren't the norm in Michigan based on my experience as a lifelong Michigander well past her starving college student days. I never even attended one in my starving college student days.

The bride was from Biloxi, Mississippi and the groom from Ann Arbor, MI; this probably influenced menu choices to some degree.

 

[NotUrsula]

The bride was from Biloxi, Mississippi and the groom from Ann Arbor, MI; this probably influenced menu choices to some degree.

Don't know about Ann Arbor, but having lived in Biloxi I can tell you that cake & punch receptions there are normally a religious choice; they are typical of certain Southern Baptist denominations and also Church of God denominations. These are groups that abhor both alcohol and dancing, and they feel strongly that the reception should be lower-key than the ceremony itself. (I'm chuckling just a wee bit at giving champagne flutes to probable teetotalers.)

 

[cabanafrau]

Don't know about Ann Arbor, but having lived in Biloxi I can tell you that cake & punch receptions there are normally a religious choice; they are typical of certain Southern Baptist denominations and also Church of God denominations. These are groups that abhor both alcohol and dancing, and they feel strongly that the reception should be lower-key than the ceremony itself. (I'm chuckling just a wee bit at giving champagne flutes to probable teetotalers.)

They were from Tiffany though.

 

[NYCgrrl]

Don't know about Ann Arbor, but having lived in Biloxi I can tell you that cake & punch receptions there are normally a religious choice; they are typical of certain Southern Baptist denominations and also Church of God denominations. These are groups that abhor both alcohol and dancing, and they feel strongly that the reception should be lower-key than the ceremony itself. (I'm chuckling just a wee bit at giving champagne flutes to probable teetotalers.)

The bride and groom are definitely not teetotallers.

 

[NYCgrrl]

They were from Tiffany though.

Note to self. Buy glasses for cabanafrau from the dollar store should ever we meet.
It'll make her feel more "real".

 

[cabanafrau]

Note to self. Buy glasses for cabanafrau from the dollar store should ever we meet.
It'll make her feel more "real".

No need. Leave all the worries about how I feel to me.

No idea why pointing out they weren't random, but considered special is offensive. Was that not your whole point in mentioning the brand?

 

[Mickeyluver37]

What you can afford and how close you are. Mainly...what you can afford. I remember reading threads like this as a first year teacher who was working an additional job to afford rent and student loans. A $100 wedding gift would have meant I didn’t eat for two weeks. I gave a thoughtful gift that cost $20 (A picnic basket with a bottle of wine and a letter saying what I loved about the couple). People who would turn their noses up at that would be people I wouldn’t hang out with. Close friends and family were just happy I was there. Now, I can give $100 comfortably. Everything is relative.

I would agree with you. DH and I have been married since practically high school and there were times as a young family we gave $50 and that was really all we had to give. Now we are 40 and wouldn't think of giving under $100. I've also never seen a "cake and punch" wedding. Every wedding I've attended has been a dinner and almost all were open bar, but on both ends of the spectrum. In our younger days some of those "open bar" weddings meant there were DIY kegs in the back. Most weddings we attend now don't even have gift tables- just a place for the envelopes.

And even though these days we try to be more of the cover your plate type, that doesn't mean that I think the bride and groom are expecting or demanding it.

 

[NYCgrrl]

No need. Leave all the worries about how I feel to me.

No idea why pointing out they weren't random, but considered special is offensive. Was that not your whole point in mentioning the brand?

In a different thread (thought it was this one) I wrote:

My sister and I had a go to gift from Tiffany's back in the days: crystal champagne flutes. Cost about $20.00 a piece back then and still came in those lovely iconic blue boxes. This is the newer version which no longer has a bowl that extends to the base yet the price is still quite reasonable:

https://www.tiffany.com/jewelry/items/trumpet-flute-set-37212377?omcid=ppc_google_PLA+-+Home+-+US&utm_source=google&utm_term=&utm_campaign=PLA+-+Home+-+US&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=1dJSjlGh|pcrid|94556209933|pkw||pmt||pdv|c|targetids|pla-337820476693|groupid|23027671093|&mkwid=s1dJSjlGh|pcrid|94556209933|pkw||pmt||pdv|c|mtid|744dpc50313|slid||productid|37212377_PLN TRUMPT FLTE S2 CRYGLS|targetids|pla-337820476693|groupid|23027671093|&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpPnt4c3v3QIVBkSGCh3sBwL8EAYYAiABEgKTZvD_BwE

The brand is immaterial but the quality is not. They are well made and balanced crystal champagne flutes for a price that is good at many budgets. That was the point in mentioning the brand. Guess you missed seeing/noted or dinna participate in that thread.
I don't understand your "offensive" remark.

 

[cabanafrau]

In a different thread (thought it was this one) I wrote:




The brand is immaterial but the quality is not. They are well made and balanced crystal champagne flutes for a price that is good at many budgets. That was the point in mentioning the brand. Guess you missed seeing/noted or dinna participate in that thread.
I don't understand your "offensive" remark.

????? I said I thought your point in mentioning the brand was to note they were special. In your own self quote you specifically state "and they still come in those lovely iconic blue boxes" -- which seems to confirm that you believe the provenance connotes meaning. I didn't critique the quality or question it in any way.

Once again, what I said was "But they were from Tiffany though." I thought that was your whole point of naming the source to begin with?

I didn't know there was required readings to participate in the conversation. Is there a primer or Cliff Notes available?

 

[disneychrista]

I would. Same with kids parties-if someone has it at home I give less than if they have it out at a venue. And cake and punch weddings would get about what a kids birthday party does-never knew anyone to have that around here though.

I would never have guessed people would base their gift on the venue/how much was spent on the party. Especially with a kids party.

 

[luvsJack]

Don't know about Ann Arbor, but having lived in Biloxi I can tell you that cake & punch receptions there are normally a religious choice; they are typical of certain Southern Baptist denominations and also Church of God denominations. These are groups that abhor both alcohol and dancing, and they feel strongly that the reception should be lower-key than the ceremony itself. (I'm chuckling just a wee bit at giving champagne flutes to probable teetotalers.)

Actually church receptions with cake and punch are rare these days in South Mississippi. They are done more for the budget than for the lack of alcohol/religious reasons.

DD has a friend getting married next month, it will be in a church. Reason? Budget. She is just that girl that doesn't care at all about having a wedding (her parents want her to have one). She wants to do it as simple, cheap and quick as possible so church it is. Her wedding is the first one in years that has been in a church that we have been invited to. There are 4 in dh's family getting married this year, all will be in a venue not a church. We are all Baptist and one of the brides is the daughter of a Baptist preacher.

 

[luvsJack]

I would never have guessed people would base their gift on the venue/how much was spent on the party. Especially with a kids party.

It seems very tacky to me. Like someone values those with extra money to throw around more than she does the person.

 

[mjkacmom]

I spend the same amount on kids birthday gifts regardless of venue, medieval times vs. home party? $20 for a classmate, $25 for a friend, maybe more for a bff. Home parties are so rare here, kids love them. I do the same with weddings, but my starting base is $100 pp instead of $20, and goes up based on relationships.

 

[AustinTink]

So, if you attended the bridal shower and gifted something expensive off the registry what would you gift them money wise at the wedding? I bought a pricey item a few weeks ago for the shower and am contemplating the check amount for a wedding we are attending. I usually do $100 per person.

 

[lovemygoofy]

So, if you attended the bridal shower and gifted something expensive off the registry what would you gift them money wise at the wedding? I bought a pricey item a few weeks ago for the shower and am contemplating the check amount for a wedding we are attending. I usually do $100 per person.

I don't give hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Simply because I don't want to. They are getting married, hardly flying to the moon. We give on relationships we have with the bridal party and I simply do not care how much they have spent on their wedding. And I went to a $80k wedding last year. We go to several weddings a year of all walks of life and styles and expense.

I say all that to say I figure out how much I want to give. If I give an expensive gift off the registry, I subtract that from the amount of the check. Is that cheap? Probably but again they are having a wedding of an expense they chose and I chose the amount I wanted to give.