I know it's early but how do you "do Christmas" with the grown children?

maslex

DIS Veteran
Joined
Apr 15, 2006
My kids are grown now (20 & 22). They both still live at home. Youngest's girlfriend lives with us about 95% of the time also. Oldest son is now dating a girl with a 2yr old little boy. She and her son do not live with us. (just a little background)

Anyhow, I admit that I have ALWAYS gone overboard with the boys Christmas gifts. Ridiculously overboard. That's going to come to a big ole halt this year. I really need to scale things back. Usually when we do Christmas Eve over my brother's house, we all put a name in a hat and pick a name. We do a $25 spending limit. Then Christmas Day, we do the same her SIL's family but we have a $50 spending limit with them. So I got to thinking........do people do "picking a name" within their home between your spouse and children (assuming they're older).

I'm just trying to decide if I should go that route between us and the kids or still buy a few things they'd like, just not to the extent that I was.

So, how do you do Christmas (mainly for the older kids)
 
I can't image as a parent not buy gifts for all my kids and just one.

oh me neither.....I'm just trying to get ideas on how other people do Christmas. Not even sure I'm gonna throw the "picking name" out there to my family. Just feeling things out right now.
 
Presents for everyone, for the rest of their lives! party:And that includes stockings, as well as wrapped presents under the tree.

No way is anyone depriving me of the joy of Christmas shopping, just because they've gone and grown up. Years when money's been tight, I just budget more carefully and start my shopping in the summer. And I sew, knit and crochet, so that helps. In fact, there's a few Christmas presents already tucked away in my closet.
 


I have a 20 year old college student still at home and two eleven year olds. What I do for one I do for the others so as of right now, still a "big" Christmas. She will be moving out the next year or two so gifts have been stuff you would need for your home. Last year I hit up the Disney Christmas sale and made a tote to fully decorate a Christmas tree.

I have slowly been "weaning" her into "adult phase" for things I still pay for. (for the most part she's financially independent) For instance I paid for family vacation and funds towards a Deluxe AP, if she wanted Signature she had to pay the difference. I have since informed her if she wants to renew next year she needs to start saving now. I've asked her to look into getting independent auto insurance after her 21st birthday. Things like that. I imagine I will start doing the same when it comes to holidays. No doubt it'll cost me the same but it'll be more in the form of a couple of nice gifts rather than a "loaded tree." When I got married and started a family of my own is when my parents shifted from giving me gifts to giving gifts to my kids.
 
I'm grown, grown, my folks still do the whole thing for me and my brother, his partner, my nephew and any so I've had. I do as much or more if I can think of it, than they do. Everyone gets treated the same, except for my nephew. He can have anything:) He's precious.
 
My parents did the whole thing for me until they died.

I was 45. I was married with a child, and they did the whole thing for them too.

Same for my sister and her husband and children.
 


OK...Christmas is right up my alley. Funny thing is that I grew up in a Jewish household and am now a hard core atheist, but I just love the "spirit". I am closer to the real life version of Clark Griswold than 99% of people you will see. For the outside of the house, I have a display where my lights dance to music that is broadcast on FM radio. I do all the programming for the dancing myself. There are lights everywhere, plus some blow ups, fabric figures, I make a tree swing with a stuffed animal in it (like they had at Osborne with Stitch in it), on and on. We add to our collection every year. I may set up a picnic table with Mickey and Minnie this year, but I have a dilemma...see the last paragraph below. The amount of electrical cords I have (I make most of them) and other support stuff is crazy. I don't count anymore, but I have something around 30k-40k lights up. When we lived in PA, we had 3.5 acres, so I could really spread stuff out...I even used a real car as part of my display one year. Here, I have just under an acre, so I have to be a bit more creative.

Inside our house is similar. Lots of lights in places. Nutcrackers, a full size village, and all sorts of different Christmas stuff in every room. Our family room is just a Christmas wonderland. We raid Michaels, Home Depot, etc...on Dec 26th every year. Last year, we had 8 Christmas trees up in the house. 3 real and 5 fake. There may have been 6 fake, I forget.

Kind of like some people plan Disney year round, I work on my display about 8 or 9 months per year. Mostly programming the songs to dance to music. But I spend some time making props. Set up outside begins Nov 1st and takes something like 60-80 hours total.

So yeah, we go crazy. My kids are still all 13 and under. DS13 of course doesn't believe any more. DS9 doesn't either...but his twin sister still does. We'll probably have to tell her after this year. So for now, we still put stuff under the tree, etc... Even when they're older, I still plan to do presents under the tree with them. How much we spend will depend on the year to year financial situation, but who cares. It's the excitement and family fun of it all that matters to us.

This year, we're going to be in WDW for both Thanksgiving and Xmas, so I'm sort of stressing about what to do with my outdoor display. I usually run it from Black Friday evening until New Years Eve, but we'll be gone a lot of that time. Think I may just do a scaled back version and put a sign out saying "preparing for a big 2018 show" or something.
 
From my parents to us, adult children (3)and their SO(3) get one big gift/gift card/money, etc EACH. And then when children(4 now) come into the picture, they get more than anyone....lol. My parents have gotten to where they can't afford gift giving anymore so they just buy the kids a thing or two and us adult kids buy for each other and out parents.

Personally I love opening gifts, so I LOVE giving that others. I usually buy the adults two gifts each and the kids get three.

With my husband and daughter(19) I still do the want/need/wear/read and we also add an eat catergory...haha
 
I have an oldest DS who is 34 with a wife and 2 children, a 26 year old DS and a 21 year old DD. For Christmas the first year the oldest was married I was just going to do money for all of them. I did get the youngest more because she was just in middle school when the oldest got married, so she got clothes and things like that.

I couldn't do just money, I missed buying gifts too much. What I do now is get everyone a nice gift and then I give them the rest in money. When they are dating someone, they get the same type gift, just no money. I really try to get them something they want and give money because I know that is what they really need.
 
Gifts and $$.......no matter how old they get. And I always do special bags for my three DILs. And with two grandchildren.....well they'll just be spoiled, that's all I can say!!! :love:
 
I will probably do stockings forever---I love them.

We'Ve always just done one gift from us and one BIG thing from Santa---and Santa scaled back the last couple of years of highscool and moved to just stocking as each kid entered college/apprentiship (college is costly, and i like to be able to provide some surprises mid semester instead).

My husband's family, his mom still sends gifts or money to all her kids (she seems to really love it and want to). Otherwise, instead of drawing names there is a white elephant that only those actually there to celebrate together take part in.

I'm an only child. I got osme gifts while still in college, then nothign after until a few years ago. Now my dad occasionally randomly sends a christmas or birthday gift, but not every year. He is in real estate and i get the feeling if he has a good season then he is feeling generous--or if he jsut sees something he really thinks I'll love (the first of these was a kindle back when those were new and English language books were hard to come by in Germany). I love it when he does but never expect it or feel bad when he doesn't

So I guess, in short, I don't think it needs to be such a big production for grown kids--though I do think it is good to give them a heads up before hand so they are not taken by surprise on the holiday itself
 
OK...Christmas is right up my alley. Funny thing is that I grew up in a Jewish household and am now a hard core atheist, but I just love the "spirit". I am closer to the real life version of Clark Griswold than 99% of people you will see. For the outside of the house, I have a display where my lights dance to music that is broadcast on FM radio. I do all the programming for the dancing myself. There are lights everywhere, plus some blow ups, fabric figures, I make a tree swing with a stuffed animal in it (like they had at Osborne with Stitch in it), on and on. We add to our collection every year. I may set up a picnic table with Mickey and Minnie this year, but I have a dilemma...see the last paragraph below. The amount of electrical cords I have (I make most of them) and other support stuff is crazy. I don't count anymore, but I have something around 30k-40k lights up. When we lived in PA, we had 3.5 acres, so I could really spread stuff out...I even used a real car as part of my display one year. Here, I have just under an acre, so I have to be a bit more creative.

Inside our house is similar. Lots of lights in places. Nutcrackers, a full size village, and all sorts of different Christmas stuff in every room. Our family room is just a Christmas wonderland. We raid Michaels, Home Depot, etc...on Dec 26th every year. Last year, we had 8 Christmas trees up in the house. 3 real and 5 fake. There may have been 6 fake, I forget.

Kind of like some people plan Disney year round, I work on my display about 8 or 9 months per year. Mostly programming the songs to dance to music. But I spend some time making props. Set up outside begins Nov 1st and takes something like 60-80 hours total.

So yeah, we go crazy. My kids are still all 13 and under. DS13 of course doesn't believe any more. DS9 doesn't either...but his twin sister still does. We'll probably have to tell her after this year. So for now, we still put stuff under the tree, etc... Even when they're older, I still plan to do presents under the tree with them. How much we spend will depend on the year to year financial situation, but who cares. It's the excitement and family fun of it all that matters to us.

This year, we're going to be in WDW for both Thanksgiving and Xmas, so I'm sort of stressing about what to do with my outdoor display. I usually run it from Black Friday evening until New Years Eve, but we'll be gone a lot of that time. Think I may just do a scaled back version and put a sign out saying "preparing for a big 2018 show" or something.

Yeah that's probably the age to do it my parents waited till I was 11 for whatever reason
 
We are the grown kids, but MIL/FIL still "do" Christmas for all of us. Their 4 kids, the 3 spouses and 1 SO get stockings and gifts. Probably not as many as they did when it was only their 4 kids, but we get 5 or 6 things each (depending, if somebody needs/wants one big thing, they may only get that and a couple small things). The grandkids get more than the kids do, but that is a given. Everyone gets a stocking. She bought new ones a few years ago with our names on them, and she got several blank ones for later on. DH's grandma gives her grandkids and spouses each a check and some people get something small under the tree, some don't--it depends on what she finds that she thinks people will like, and nobody gets offended f they don't get it. Her great-grandkids still get gifts, and she spends the same amount (roughly) on each one.
 
Three grown kids 28, 27, & 25. We also do full blown Christmas and drop way too much on each child. Most presents still come from Santa complete with special Santa paper. Also do stockings. No significant others.

I love Christmas shopping and buying gifts I know they will love. They are going to inherit it all any way and I want to see them enjoy it.

No right or wrong answer. Do what you want and can afford.
 
My boys are 21 and 17 and they get more now than when they were little. As long as I am alive, they will have a big Christmas!

My parents and inlaws are all alive and healthy and we still do big Christmases with both families :)
 
Our DDs are now in their mid-30s. The biggest difference between when they were kids & now is that the budget for booze has grown exponentially.;) We do presents, stockings, big dinner, the whole thing. I will add that when our DDs were in college and came home for spring break, they went crazy for the backyard Easter Egg hunt! Of course we switched from little plastic novelties to jewelry and cash, but it was still a "thing" for quite a while.
 
Scale back, if that seems to be needed to include everyone in what you consider to be your household somewhat equally!!!!
And, be so thankful that you are blessed to be able to spend the actual Christmas holiday with your family!!!! :santa:

And, except for the agreed upon participation with the name drawing. Remember, each person should be free to also choose how much they participate and how much they choose to gift to others.
 

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