I said I'd say "I Do", now how do I plan a wedding? David & Zeke 6/10/2019

dayvewc

DIS Veteran
Joined
Mar 20, 2013
Well, it's (mostly) official.

I found the other half of my heart and soul, and he agreed to spend the next 9,000 years with me. Or eternity, whichever comes last.

But what do I do now? I never really thought I'd get married, and always kind of figured if I did, the other half would do most of planning and I'd just have to show up and look cute :groom:. Nope, I get to plan this one (with input from Zeke), and am feeling just a bit overwhelmed.

So, lets lay out the end-goal, and (fingers crossed) some of my good friends :disrocks: here can help me navigate the unknown waters ahead.

Plan goals:
  • Marriage ceremony in Las Vegas in front of the Bellagio Fountain
  • Honeymoon in Hawai'i at Aulani DVC Resort
Now what?
 
So, now that I've whined a little in the first post that I feel overwhelmed, this is what I do know has to be done:
  • contract with Bellagio Weddings for the wedding package that we want
    • Set the date
    • Set the time
    • Decide and confirm incidentals
      • Boutonnieres
      • color scheme
      • specific floral arrangements
      • music for processional, recessional, and during the ceremony
    • Verify what the Bellagio provides for the ceremony
      • My understanding it that they provide as part of the package or for an additional fee:
        • Officiant
        • All floral needs
        • Music - and can arrange for live band / DJ / harpist if desired
        • transportation to/from Marriage License Bureau
        • Photographer
        • Videographer
        • Web-streaming for ceremony simulcasting
        • reception hall (not doing this, we have slightly different plans)
        • Champagne and toasting flutes
  • Make hotel reservations for wedding
  • make resort reservations for the honeymoon
    • I'm cashing in my DVC points for 2 1/5 years to stay at Aulani
      • will we need to rent a car while in Hawai'i? or does Aulani provide an airport shuttle?
  • make the guest list
    • send out invites with RSVP
    • include hotel information for group / block room reservations
  • Decide on best man / groomsmen (if any)
  • make flight reservations
  • make wedding week resort reservations for mom and others
    • I'm cashing in one of my timeshares to put some of my immediate family in (if they want to go)
  • pick out font and style, and have invitations printed
  • gift registries
    • I wonder if I can gift registry a hot tub? :cool1:
  • tux rental and fittings and alterations
  • wedding cake
  • find a way to pay for everything.
I know that there is a lot more that has to be done, and especially since it will be done by email mostly, I will need to be quite specific on certain details. But I don't know what I don't know, and that is what concerns me.
 
Hi there! Well it seems like you have an idea of what you need to technically do, but to start you absolutely NEED a budget...decide with your partner what your budget is and stick to it! Honestly that is one of the most important things and it can also be one of the biggest sources of stress and disagreements. Next, pick the three most important aspects of your day and focus on those, with everything else try to be flexible. The fact that you have a plan is a great start! I personally would love to read about your planning!
 
Well, we did decide on a budget, of sorts. Neither of us really has a good idea of what to expect, but we know how much the wedding packages cost, and some (hopefully most, but definitely not all) of the other expenses we'll have to cover. So, the general plan right now is to budget about $3k for other expenses on top of the wedding package. Our dream package will run about $9k, but the second option is only $6k. Since we don't have to commit until we sign the contract, and I don't want to sign the contract until we can start booking our rooms, and we can't book those until 11 months out, the plan is to see how much we have saved by mid-July. If we are on track to have the full $12k, then we'll get the larger package. If we are instead looking at having the $9k, we'll get the smaller package. Worst case scenario and the savings has not happened according to any plan, we'll look at a wedding in our home and plan a big renewal ceremony for a few years down the line. (Pretty sure the last won't happen, just not sure if we'll be on target for plan 1 or plan 2).
 


I am enjoying reading along and seeing all your special plans come together..............................
I like the plan of having a few options.
Two years ago my son did the destination wedding in Mexico.
I was a bit uncertain about the whole thing at the time but it was one of the best holidays I've ever had.
Have you guys ever thought about getting married in Hawaii?

Hugs Mel

PS
I found this thread very interesting
https://www.disboards.com/threads/anyone-have-a-wishes-wedding-at-aulani.3120479/
 
Last edited:
So, now that I've whined a little in the first post that I feel overwhelmed, this is what I do know has to be done:
  • contract with Bellagio Weddings for the wedding package that we want
    • Set the date
    • Set the time
    • Decide and confirm incidentals
      • Boutonnieres
      • color scheme
      • specific floral arrangements
      • music for processional, recessional, and during the ceremony
    • Verify what the Bellagio provides for the ceremony
      • My understanding it that they provide as part of the package or for an additional fee:
        • Officiant
        • All floral needs
        • Music - and can arrange for live band / DJ / harpist if desired
        • transportation to/from Marriage License Bureau
        • Photographer
        • Videographer
        • Web-streaming for ceremony simulcasting
        • reception hall (not doing this, we have slightly different plans)
        • Champagne and toasting flutes
  • Make hotel reservations for wedding
  • make resort reservations for the honeymoon
    • I'm cashing in my DVC points for 2 1/5 years to stay at Aulani
      • will we need to rent a car while in Hawai'i? or does Aulani provide an airport shuttle?
  • make the guest list
    • send out invites with RSVP
    • include hotel information for group / block room reservations
  • Decide on best man / groomsmen (if any)
  • make flight reservations
  • make wedding week resort reservations for mom and others
    • I'm cashing in one of my timeshares to put some of my immediate family in (if they want to go)
  • pick out font and style, and have invitations printed
  • gift registries
    • I wonder if I can gift registry a hot tub? :cool1:
  • tux rental and fittings and alterations
  • wedding cake
  • find a way to pay for everything.
I know that there is a lot more that has to be done, and especially since it will be done by email mostly, I will need to be quite specific on certain details. But I don't know what I don't know, and that is what concerns me.
 


I’m here. So excited for you, Dave.

Thanks

I am enjoying reading along and seeing all your special plans come together..............................
I like the plan of having a few options.
Two years ago my son did the destination wedding in Mexico.
I was a bit uncertain about the whole thing at the time but it was one of the best holidays I've ever had.
Have you guys ever thought about getting married in Hawaii?

Hugs Mel

PS
I found this thread very interesting
https://www.disboards.com/threads/anyone-have-a-wishes-wedding-at-aulani.3120479/

We thought about a Hawaiian wedding for about 30 seconds. It came down to the fact that some of our family and friends could manage to get to Las Vegas for a wedding, but almost none of them would be able to swing Hawaii. And probably most importantly, mom refuses to get on an airplane, so we can't do the wedding anywhere that someone cannot drive her.

Also, @bababear_50, thanks for the link. I did a quick scan through, and it had some good information

On a completely related note, I figured since I had finally found someone to spend my life with, and get married to, it might be time to come out to my family. Did that yesterday, and it went surprisingly well. Was a bit concerned about telling mom, but her initial reaction was "Gonna have to think about this." Later, she called me and Zeke into her sitting room and explained that she firmly believes what we are doing is wrong, but I'm her child so she loves me and will continue to do so, and Zeke is going to be my spouse, so she will love him also as he is joining the family. Can I say "Phew!"

I just realized that I had not included the reception idea in my list of things to plan, but ...

We are thinking that the general timeline for the day will run something like this?
  • 9:00 am Arrive at the location for the wedding ceremony
  • 9:30 - 10:00 am Actual ceremony and pictures at the location
  • 10:00 am - 12:00 noon pictures around the Bellagio (part of the wedding package)
  • 12:00 noon - 5:00 pm rest, relax, take a nap, and avoid the hottest part of the day in a desert
  • 5:30 pm - 10:00-ish pm - go to the timeshare resort that I am cashing in for family (and one of my sisters also owns in the same chain and will be exchanging for the week as well). It has 5 pools, 1 main pool and 4 smaller pools, 1 at each building group. There are also grills available and patio tables and chairs and umbrellas. So, the reception will be a combination reception/cookout/pool party and we can have an outside cake catered (not allowed at the Bellagio) as well as any other "needed" reception items. (The champagne and 2 toasting flutes are provided as part of the Bellagio package, but I think we are not required to use them there.)
The only drawbacks I can think of are
  1. We can't actually reserve a pool at the resort, so other guests staying there may join in (I actually don't have a problem with that, unless some of them wind up being overly vocal and opinionated people critical of same-sex relationships)
  2. We are having an "open-ish bar" (bottles of alcohol in one cooler, while the other coolers will hold regular drinks and ice) and I don't know exactly how the resort will address us having spirits near the pool.
So, does anyone think a cookout pool part reception is a super bad idea? Or have other thoughts?
 
Hi Dave,

Aulani does not provide a free shuttle from the airport but partners with a shuttle service and a taxi service - I just saw it on Disney's Aulani page. Have you ever been to Hawaii? We went to Oahu for the first time two years ago - used our DVC points at the 7 month window and stayed in a one bedroom villa. We did rent a car from Alamo a mile or two from the airport. Since we had never been to Hawaii and had no idea when we could go again, we rented a car - cars are pretty reasonable there. Even though I was recovering from major surgery, I still wanted to see certain parts of the Island - Pearl Harbor was a must-do, as was Waikiki Beach and lunch at a shrimp truck on the North Shore. The resort is so incredibly beautiful that I would have been very happy to stay there all week. Except - its in Hawaii!!! Had I been feeling up to it I would have hiked Diamond Head and visited some other beaches. Congratulations on the engagement! Love finds you when you least expect it.
 
Thanks



We thought about a Hawaiian wedding for about 30 seconds. It came down to the fact that some of our family and friends could manage to get to Las Vegas for a wedding, but almost none of them would be able to swing Hawaii. And probably most importantly, mom refuses to get on an airplane, so we can't do the wedding anywhere that someone cannot drive her.

Also, @bababear_50, thanks for the link. I did a quick scan through, and it had some good information

On a completely related note, I figured since I had finally found someone to spend my life with, and get married to, it might be time to come out to my family. Did that yesterday, and it went surprisingly well. Was a bit concerned about telling mom, but her initial reaction was "Gonna have to think about this." Later, she called me and Zeke into her sitting room and explained that she firmly believes what we are doing is wrong, but I'm her child so she loves me and will continue to do so, and Zeke is going to be my spouse, so she will love him also as he is joining the family. Can I say "Phew!"

I just realized that I had not included the reception idea in my list of things to plan, but ...

We are thinking that the general timeline for the day will run something like this?
  • 9:00 am Arrive at the location for the wedding ceremony
  • 9:30 - 10:00 am Actual ceremony and pictures at the location
  • 10:00 am - 12:00 noon pictures around the Bellagio (part of the wedding package)
  • 12:00 noon - 5:00 pm rest, relax, take a nap, and avoid the hottest part of the day in a desert
  • 5:30 pm - 10:00-ish pm - go to the timeshare resort that I am cashing in for family (and one of my sisters also owns in the same chain and will be exchanging for the week as well). It has 5 pools, 1 main pool and 4 smaller pools, 1 at each building group. There are also grills available and patio tables and chairs and umbrellas. So, the reception will be a combination reception/cookout/pool party and we can have an outside cake catered (not allowed at the Bellagio) as well as any other "needed" reception items. (The champagne and 2 toasting flutes are provided as part of the Bellagio package, but I think we are not required to use them there.)
The only drawbacks I can think of are
  1. We can't actually reserve a pool at the resort, so other guests staying there may join in (I actually don't have a problem with that, unless some of them wind up being overly vocal and opinionated people critical of same-sex relationships)
  2. We are having an "open-ish bar" (bottles of alcohol in one cooler, while the other coolers will hold regular drinks and ice) and I don't know exactly how the resort will address us having spirits near the pool.
So, does anyone think a cookout pool part reception is a super bad idea? Or have other thoughts?

Phew!!!
I am so glad you were able to share with your mom and that it went well. I remember my brother telling my parents (coming out) , I had packed my suitcase and was going to run away if they didn't accept him. All went surprisingly well and my mom later told me she already kind of knew.
~~Smiling ear to ear for you guys~~~
And a cookout pool reception party sounds like so much fun!
Just a suggestion:
For safety it might be a good idea to offer plastic cups of some sort (drinks),, --just as a precaution around the pool.
Hugs Mel
 
Last edited:
Thanks



We thought about a Hawaiian wedding for about 30 seconds. It came down to the fact that some of our family and friends could manage to get to Las Vegas for a wedding, but almost none of them would be able to swing Hawaii. And probably most importantly, mom refuses to get on an airplane, so we can't do the wedding anywhere that someone cannot drive her.

Also, @bababear_50, thanks for the link. I did a quick scan through, and it had some good information

On a completely related note, I figured since I had finally found someone to spend my life with, and get married to, it might be time to come out to my family. Did that yesterday, and it went surprisingly well. Was a bit concerned about telling mom, but her initial reaction was "Gonna have to think about this." Later, she called me and Zeke into her sitting room and explained that she firmly believes what we are doing is wrong, but I'm her child so she loves me and will continue to do so, and Zeke is going to be my spouse, so she will love him also as he is joining the family. Can I say "Phew!"

I just realized that I had not included the reception idea in my list of things to plan, but ...

We are thinking that the general timeline for the day will run something like this?
  • 9:00 am Arrive at the location for the wedding ceremony
  • 9:30 - 10:00 am Actual ceremony and pictures at the location
  • 10:00 am - 12:00 noon pictures around the Bellagio (part of the wedding package)
  • 12:00 noon - 5:00 pm rest, relax, take a nap, and avoid the hottest part of the day in a desert
  • 5:30 pm - 10:00-ish pm - go to the timeshare resort that I am cashing in for family (and one of my sisters also owns in the same chain and will be exchanging for the week as well). It has 5 pools, 1 main pool and 4 smaller pools, 1 at each building group. There are also grills available and patio tables and chairs and umbrellas. So, the reception will be a combination reception/cookout/pool party and we can have an outside cake catered (not allowed at the Bellagio) as well as any other "needed" reception items. (The champagne and 2 toasting flutes are provided as part of the Bellagio package, but I think we are not required to use them there.)
The only drawbacks I can think of are
  1. We can't actually reserve a pool at the resort, so other guests staying there may join in (I actually don't have a problem with that, unless some of them wind up being overly vocal and opinionated people critical of same-sex relationships)
  2. We are having an "open-ish bar" (bottles of alcohol in one cooler, while the other coolers will hold regular drinks and ice) and I don't know exactly how the resort will address us having spirits near the pool.
So, does anyone think a cookout pool part reception is a super bad idea? Or have other thoughts?
Wow, I’m so glad everything worked out when you told your Mom you are gay. I’m sure that wasn’t easy to do. Glad you got the response you were looking for and you are free to be who you are.
 
Thanks



We thought about a Hawaiian wedding for about 30 seconds. It came down to the fact that some of our family and friends could manage to get to Las Vegas for a wedding, but almost none of them would be able to swing Hawaii. And probably most importantly, mom refuses to get on an airplane, so we can't do the wedding anywhere that someone cannot drive her.

Also, @bababear_50, thanks for the link. I did a quick scan through, and it had some good information

On a completely related note, I figured since I had finally found someone to spend my life with, and get married to, it might be time to come out to my family. Did that yesterday, and it went surprisingly well. Was a bit concerned about telling mom, but her initial reaction was "Gonna have to think about this." Later, she called me and Zeke into her sitting room and explained that she firmly believes what we are doing is wrong, but I'm her child so she loves me and will continue to do so, and Zeke is going to be my spouse, so she will love him also as he is joining the family. Can I say "Phew!"

I just realized that I had not included the reception idea in my list of things to plan, but ...

We are thinking that the general timeline for the day will run something like this?
  • 9:00 am Arrive at the location for the wedding ceremony
  • 9:30 - 10:00 am Actual ceremony and pictures at the location
  • 10:00 am - 12:00 noon pictures around the Bellagio (part of the wedding package)
  • 12:00 noon - 5:00 pm rest, relax, take a nap, and avoid the hottest part of the day in a desert
  • 5:30 pm - 10:00-ish pm - go to the timeshare resort that I am cashing in for family (and one of my sisters also owns in the same chain and will be exchanging for the week as well). It has 5 pools, 1 main pool and 4 smaller pools, 1 at each building group. There are also grills available and patio tables and chairs and umbrellas. So, the reception will be a combination reception/cookout/pool party and we can have an outside cake catered (not allowed at the Bellagio) as well as any other "needed" reception items. (The champagne and 2 toasting flutes are provided as part of the Bellagio package, but I think we are not required to use them there.)
The only drawbacks I can think of are
  1. We can't actually reserve a pool at the resort, so other guests staying there may join in (I actually don't have a problem with that, unless some of them wind up being overly vocal and opinionated people critical of same-sex relationships)
  2. We are having an "open-ish bar" (bottles of alcohol in one cooler, while the other coolers will hold regular drinks and ice) and I don't know exactly how the resort will address us having spirits near the pool.
So, does anyone think a cookout pool part reception is a super bad idea? Or have other thoughts?
We stayed at the Bellagio last year. Beautiful beautiful venue. I would speak to the hotel directly to see whether they will allow alcohol by the pool. They may want you to buy theirs.
 
Hi Dave,

Aulani does not provide a free shuttle from the airport but partners with a shuttle service and a taxi service - I just saw it on Disney's Aulani page. Have you ever been to Hawaii? We went to Oahu for the first time two years ago - used our DVC points at the 7 month window and stayed in a one bedroom villa. We did rent a car from Alamo a mile or two from the airport. Since we had never been to Hawaii and had no idea when we could go again, we rented a car - cars are pretty reasonable there. Even though I was recovering from major surgery, I still wanted to see certain parts of the Island - Pearl Harbor was a must-do, as was Waikiki Beach and lunch at a shrimp truck on the North Shore. The resort is so incredibly beautiful that I would have been very happy to stay there all week. Except - its in Hawaii!!! Had I been feeling up to it I would have hiked Diamond Head and visited some other beaches. Congratulations on the engagement! Love finds you when you least expect it.

I have never been to Hawaii before, but honestly I have not even thought about things to do while there. It just seemed like a good place to go for the honeymoon. I'm a little bit, umm, worried about it though. Not for any of the obvious reasons. I kind of joke about it, but I go from Olaf the snowman white to Sebastian the crab red in about 15 minutes. And I'm not joking. Yesterday, Zeke and I were working on my mom's yard cleaning up the flower beds and some other landscaping things. I made it a point to stay out of the direct sun, was not outside between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m., and still wound up sunburned on my arms and neck. I forgot to put on sunscreen. I know I can take my normal sunscreen (SPF 1500+ "Specially formulated for Vampires"), but the idea of tropical sun all day long has me thinking I'll be sitting in a darkened room and peeking out at the sights through the windows.

Phew!!!
I am so glad you were able to share with your mom and that it went well. I remember my brother telling my parents (coming out) , I had packed my suitcase and was going to run away if they didn't accept him. All went surprisingly well and my mom later told me she already kind of knew.
~~Smiling ear to ear for you guys~~~
And a cookout pool reception party sounds like so much fun!
Just a suggestion:
For safety it might be a good idea to offer plastic cups of some sort (drinks),, --just as a precaution around the pool.
Hugs Mel

Yeah, I really plan on getting some red Solo cups :-) for any drink mixing, and then cans or plastic bottles for other beverages (cokes, sodas, gatorade, etc.) Pretty sure that glass bottles won't be allowed in the pool area, but the grills and patio tables are outside the fence around the pool, so close by but not inside the pool area.

Wow, I’m so glad everything worked out when you told your Mom you are gay. I’m sure that wasn’t easy to do. Glad you got the response you were looking for and you are free to be who you are.

Thanks. It was a bit uncomfortable, but we got through it. Now, the rest of the extended family may have a slightly different reaction. They tend to be very vocally fundamentalist Christian cultists. (I'm really not trying to sound mean about it, but from listening to them growing up, I think that the particular flavor of religion they follow is more accurately described as a cult rather than as a religion.)

We stayed at the Bellagio last year. Beautiful beautiful venue. I would speak to the hotel directly to see whether they will allow alcohol by the pool. They may want you to buy theirs.

Thanks for the info. The current plans are to have the reception / cookout / pool party at one of my timeshare resorts that's only about 2 blocks away from the Bellagio. One of my sisters owns in the same chain, and between us we think we have enough points for at least 2 units, and maybe 3. This way, family (and friends) that can't quite afford 3-5 nights in a Vegas hotel can share a couple of units and make the trip more affordable. Since it is at the timeshare and not the Bellagio, I don't think there will be the same issue. I know when I've traveled on my timeshares to other places, the only rule was no glass containers in the pool area.
 
I have never been to Hawaii before, but honestly I have not even thought about things to do while there. It just seemed like a good place to go for the honeymoon. I'm a little bit, umm, worried about it though. Not for any of the obvious reasons. I kind of joke about it, but I go from Olaf the snowman white to Sebastian the crab red in about 15 minutes. And I'm not joking. Yesterday, Zeke and I were working on my mom's yard cleaning up the flower beds and some other landscaping things. I made it a point to stay out of the direct sun, was not outside between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m., and still wound up sunburned on my arms and neck. I forgot to put on sunscreen. I know I can take my normal sunscreen (SPF 1500+ "Specially formulated for Vampires"), but the idea of tropical sun all day long has me thinking I'll be sitting in a darkened room and peeking out at the sights through the windows.



Yeah, I really plan on getting some red Solo cups :-) for any drink mixing, and then cans or plastic bottles for other beverages (cokes, sodas, gatorade, etc.) Pretty sure that glass bottles won't be allowed in the pool area, but the grills and patio tables are outside the fence around the pool, so close by but not inside the pool area.



Thanks. It was a bit uncomfortable, but we got through it. Now, the rest of the extended family may have a slightly different reaction. They tend to be very vocally fundamentalist Christian cultists. (I'm really not trying to sound mean about it, but from listening to them growing up, I think that the particular flavor of religion they follow is more accurately described as a cult rather than as a religion.)



Thanks for the info. The current plans are to have the reception / cookout / pool party at one of my timeshare resorts that's only about 2 blocks away from the Bellagio. One of my sisters owns in the same chain, and between us we think we have enough points for at least 2 units, and maybe 3. This way, family (and friends) that can't quite afford 3-5 nights in a Vegas hotel can share a couple of units and make the trip more affordable. Since it is at the timeshare and not the Bellagio, I don't think there will be the same issue. I know when I've traveled on my timeshares to other places, the only rule was no glass containers in the pool area.
Makes sense. I misunderstood you.
 
Best advice I received when planning a wedding was to make a list of photos you want and give that to the photographer. I neglected to do it because I believed I would remember them all. I didn’t and I regret that.

Congratulations and have fun
planning!

The Bellagio has a Fountains Brunch on Sunday’s if you happen to be there. It is delicious.
 
Best advice I received when planning a wedding was to make a list of photos you want and give that to the photographer. I neglected to do it because I believed I would remember them all. I didn’t and I regret that.

Congratulations and have fun
planning!

The Bellagio has a Fountains Brunch on Sunday’s if you happen to be there. It is delicious.

Good idea on the pictures. I've added that to my list of things to do / get done.

Thanks for the congratulations.

Tentatively, the plans are to arrive either Friday or Saturday before the ceremony on Monday, so we will be there for the Sunday brunch. I did not know about it, but it sounds like a good idea.
 
I'm here and following!!! Glad everything is going well for you and glad coming out went well! Can't wait to see all your plans come to fruition!
 
So,

I've started looking around and pricing and figuring things out, and I think I have found the (almost) perfect cake topper. The person selling this says they can exchange the bow for a bow-tie on Piglet, and I think that will make it perfect.

Cake topper.JPG
 

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