I'll pray for you......

[Wishing on a star]

Luvs Jack.... You are right! Many times, maybe, here in the South, these are simply just common oft-repeated sentiments.
In most cases, I would not blink an eye if somebody said "Bless your heart' or something about keeping one in ones prayers....
(way more than that in this particular case)

And, Soldiers Sweeties... I had mentioned that this thread, here on the DIS, it really has not been intolerant, etc!!!
I will remind you that was talking just from long term observations, in general.... Maybe most people here on the DIS are 'nice' people!

Anna, my post have been totally on-topic, and I have not initiated or incited anything... I have always been responding to another totally on-topic comment.
Now, those who would bring things like gay couples, adoption, etc... into the discussion here... Not so much....
Unfortunately.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Well - they have no specific rule/law against singles adopting a child. If being a gay couple isn't mentioned or asked (basically don't ask, don't tell), I could imagine it happens and at that point what can they do once a child in the US and legally adopted by a gay couple?

I'm well versed in the China adoption program and they do not allow gay couples to adopt and haven't allowed single adults to adopt since 2007.

 

[bcla]

I'm well versed in the China adoption program and they do not allow gay couples to adopt and haven't allowed single adults to adopt since 2007.

I've heard that they have certain exceptions, and for the most part if someone lies about it, what can they do?

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I've heard that they have certain exceptions, and for the most part if someone lies about it, what can they do?

You also heard that the Montessori approach was based on religion. Hearing something is different than facts. I don't know everything but there are somethings I do know and wouldn't want others to be confused. I would hate for a single gay person to have false hope for a China adoption even though I'm all for it!

And yes, prior to 2007 a single woman could adopt and just claim she wasn't gay. I know a few and they are awesome parents.

 

[PollyannaMom]

The staff just seemed happier today, like some even spell has been lifted.

Glad things are better!

 

[bcla]

You also heard that the Montessori approach was based on religion. Hearing something is different than facts. I don't know everything but there are somethings I do know and wouldn't want others to be confused. I would hate for a single gay person to have false hope for a China adoption even though I'm all for it!

I never said it was based on any specific religious practice. I'm talking about how the founder came to many of her techniques based on her own spirituality. I'm not saying she felt that it was necessarily to teach a specific religion.

My wife was researching a lot of this stuff in preparation for our kid's preschool years. I certainly get that the Montessori model is decidedly not about religious instruction.

 

[Domo]

You guys are all a bunch of wowzas. I'll pray for your souls.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

The Montessori model is actually to incorporate religious lessons without any kind of ceremony that makes it seem like a religious lesson. I've attended a wedding at a local Jewish temple, and there is a Montessori preschool on site.

I never said it was based on any specific religious practice. I'm talking about how the founder came to many of her techniques based on her own spirituality. I'm not saying she felt that it was necessarily to teach a specific religion.
My wife was researching a lot of this stuff in preparation for our kid's preschool years. I certainly get that the Montessori model is decidedly not about religious instruction.

I guess I'm confused about what you are trying to convey.

 

[bcla]

I guess I'm confused about what you are trying to convey.

That a lot of what Maria Montessori based her teaching principles on was based on her spiritual ideals. However, I've heard there there are some Montessori schools run by religious orders where there is a daily lesson on a specific religion.

 

[EveDallas]

How often do you really hear it used that way?

Its like "bless your heart" EVERYONE on the dis says its always used as an insult. Yet honestly here in the deep south, it rarely is. Its usually honest sympathy over something someone is going through.

I have not one time in 53 years heard "I will pray for you" said with any meaning other than the words that are said. My son is atheist. When he was going through a lot with his divorce and when we have lost family members, he has heard many people say "I will pray for you" or "you're in my prayers". He has never felt that it was said in any way other than well meaning. He says thank you and moves on. Not really necessary for any other response. And if he knows someone going through a hard time, he will say "I will be thinking about you".


As for the woman in the OP, sounds like she doesn't quite get the concept of praying for someone. I am floored that she was fired over one incident though. Maybe there were complaints before?

I live right smack in the bible belt. I have hardly ever heard "Bless your heart" used in a good way.

 

[goofyernmost]

Me, I just say... Don't bother it's way to late for that now, besides, I am working toward my eternity in hell were I will be with my friends. I'm sure that since you seem to have decided that it is your job to judge me, contrary to the teachings of the Bible "Judge not least ye be judged", I will probably see you there. I was put on a "prayer list" when in Vietnam. I didn't ask to be nor do I know what I did to be put there. I wasn't grateful, just amused.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Little update. Brought my daughter again this morning. The wicked witch was not there. The school director was up front instead. She saw me come in and informed me that I have some paperwork to pick up on the way out. On the way out, she pulled me into her office. She apologized for what happened yesterday. Multiple staff members complained about what happened yesterday along with a few other parent complaints led to her dismissal from the school. She was afraid that the lady may tell my daughter something. We are still meeting with the other person on Friday though.

Ha! I called it!

She will probably be gone by Friday given there have been other complaints, too.

Glad it worked out!

 

[luvsJack]

I live right smack in the bible belt. I have hardly ever heard "Bless your heart" used in a good way.

Not sure where you are; I am in Southern Mississippi and it's just the opposite. A lot of women use the phrase and 99% of the time it's meant honestly and with sympathy. The other 1% it's used in a joking manner and it's known to be a joke not a put down.

 

[phamton]

I would just say "thanks" and let it go. Do people get offended if someone says "Bless You" when you sneeze? Maybe I am just used to hearing "You are in my prayers" or "Bless your heart," etc. since I live in Texas. I don't even get offended of people wish a little "pixie dust" on me when I post on this board.

 

[ravenclawtrekkie]

Tone and circumstances matter a lot when it comes to this sort of thing, IMO.

If someone says "I'll pray for you" upon finding out I'm sick or a family member has died or some other negative thing has happened, I assume they mean well and don't find it bothersome in the least. It's a nice gesture even if it's pretty meaningless to me personally.

If someone says "I'll pray for you" upon finding out my religious/political affiliations or some other personal aspect of my life I'm perfectly happy with and isn't really any of their business anyway, I assume they're a passive-aggressive jerk and will tell them to save their prayers for someone who cares.

The person in the original post sounds more like the latter to me.

 

[Allison]

I would just say "thanks" and let it go. Do people get offended if someone says "Bless You" when you sneeze? Maybe I am just used to hearing "You are in my prayers" or "Bless your heart," etc. since I live in Texas. I don't even get offended of people wish a little "pixie dust" on me when I post on this board.

Context matters. This was nothing like a sneeze and it certainly doesn't appear to have been said with good intentions.

 

[ronandannette]

Context matters. This was nothing like a sneeze and it certainly doesn't appear to have been said with good intentions.

Totally. And I really don't understand the PP's here that have tried to defend the secretary. As a devout Christian, prayer and praying for people is something I understand. There's no way what she did was intended as anything except trying to put @osopecoso in his place. Mean-spirited, highly inappropriate in that setting and the sort of thing that reinforces all kinds of negative stereotypes about "church people". I'm embarrassed by her behaviour.

 

[powellrj]

I say bless you heart all the time and I hear it all the time. I live in a really religious area, so that may make a difference. Usually when I say it, it's in regard to a child. As for telling people I will pray for them, it's really common to hear it and say it.

 

[Shanti]

what do you say when someone tells you that.

Happened this morning. I got of traveling for work so I was able to bring my daughter to school (preschool) and meet her new teacher since I was not in town for orientation. The lady who greets everyone at the front desk is very annoying and lectures parents about their kids (lectured my wife that my daughter should not dance so much......). I walk in with my daughter and drop her off to her room. While walking out, she makes a snarky remark that all parents should be present for orientation. I told her I was traveling for work but got all the information from my wife. She says "oh your poor wife all alone while you travel the world". Keep in mind I was in Colorado, not exactly international. Then she says "I will pray for you". Thank goodness my daughter already went to class. I said "no thanks, I don't need a prayer". This set her off. She says "why are you angry with god". Remember, this is not a Christian school. They don't do prayer there and do not teach the Bible. I tell her she has no right to lecture people on religion, especially at a preschool. She rolled her eyes and laughed while walking away. Should I report her or let it slide.

I would say as little as possible to this busybody. It has nothing to do with religion, but rather her nosiness. If someone offers you prayers or says "bless you" when you sneeze, the polite thing to say is "thank you", whether you consider it to be needed or not. Kind of like when someone holds a door open for you- you aren't going to argue with them about how you don't need that...

 

[bcla]

If someone says "I'll pray for you" upon finding out my religious/political affiliations or some other personal aspect of my life I'm perfectly happy with and isn't really any of their business anyway, I assume they're a passive-aggressive jerk and will tell them to save their prayers for someone who cares.

I'm thinking of Mark Jackson, the former NBA player/coach and now on ESPN/ABC as part of their #1 announcing crew of Mike Green, Jeff Van Gundy, and Jackson. He was well known for being the pastor of his own church in addition to his basketball duties. When NBA player Jason Collins came out publicly as a gay man, he kind of said something he wishes that he could have taken back.

I will say this. We live in a country that allows you to be whoever you want to be. As a Christian man, I serve a God that gives you free will to be who you want to be. As a Christian man, I have beliefs of what’s right and what’s wrong. That being said, I know Jason Collins, I know his family, and am certainly praying for them at this time.​

It may have been taken the wrong way. However, it's not typically for people around here to say "I'm praying for you" even if they're devoutly religious. Apparently after he got fired from his coaching job with the Warriors, he left the meeting (where he was told he was fired) telling a team executive/owner's son "I'm praying for you". I guess it's kind of hard to read what that means. It could very well have been a meaning of good wishes, or it could have been a meaning that he felt he'd did wrong and wished mercy on his soul. It can really be difficult to understand what someone means. I'd think a simple "I wish you well" would say enough if the meaning is good wishes without any of the possible baggage of bringing "prayer" into the conversation.